Need reasons to not buy a horse!

[piebaldproblems]

TDLR Is it worth buying a horse if you’ve not really got the time for one and if you’ve got problems with responsibility/getting over attached

Warning: the below post is potentially TMI. You may just want to skip over it

I’ve been saving to buy a horse for maybe a decade now, always telling myself that next year I’ll have less work, and will finally be able to buy one, but it seems like I’m just getting busier as time goes on. Plus, in November last year, I had a near death experience, which has really made me reevaluate my life, and start thinking a little too much with my heart and far too little with my head. I’ve bullet pointed some pros and cons of buying a horse and I’m hoping some of you can tell me how the pros are actually cons, to save a horse from having me as an owner.

Pros:

• Owning a horse has been my dream since I was a toddler watching the local pony club ride past.
• I’ve got the money for it: my current savings alone could allow me to keep a horse on full grass/part livery for maybe 4/5 years, with money leftover for vet bills etc.
• I’d like to think I’ve got enough experience to own a horse - I’ve worked at riding stables in the past, am currently sharing a horse - though I might be over estimating my own competence.
• As much as I love my current loan horse, one thing I’ve always loved with horses is the management of them, and (in my experience) you just don’t get that with sharing a horse; for obvious reasons, the owner’s the one that makes most of the decisions. Owning a horse would give me more freedom as to what to do with them; I’d love to take a horse to a 3 day camp or something like that.

Cons:

• I’ve not got the time to give a horse the care they deserve. I could only ride/visit the yard 2 or 3 times a week (and 3 times would be a stretch - the only good yards near me are around 1.5h-2h away) and I've met enough unpleasant/adrenaline-seeking fellow sharers to know that finding good someone to part loan is a task and a half.
• I’m abroad for around a month every year, occasionally for two. Not ideal for keeping a horse in consistent work.
• Owning a horse is expensive. I’ve got the savings for it, but who knows when something else might come up, and I’ll need the money for something else. Not to mention the cost of buying a horse at the moment.
• (Feeling like a fool admitting this) I live in permanent fear of the future. I’m constantly fretting over whether I’ll be fired soon, whether I’ll have to move abroad, whether I’d be able to find another job, etc. I’m a fully grown adult with commitment issues. There’s so many unknowns about owning a horse, it makes me question whether I’d be able to handle it.
• Also on that front, if I lost my job, what would happen to the horse? Or if I had to put the horse to sleep? When I lost my dog as a teenager, I was visiting a grief counsellor for about 5 years afterwards, and it took me even longer to even stomach the idea of buying another pet after that. The feeling of selling a horse makes me sick to the stomach, but you can never predict the future.

The logical choice is to continue sharing a horse (I’ve been sharing for almost 3 years now, riding 1-2 times a week), but, emotionally, I feel like I”m going to spend the rest of my life saying “maybe next year I’ll look at buying a horse”. Daft I know. But that’s why I’m hoping you lovely folks on here can give me even more reasons to stop myself from being so irrational (and to get back the 2h a day I spend looking at ads of horses for sale)

 

[canteron]

Only you can decide but my thought would be if you have to ask then maybe you know the answer ? in the meantime can you do immersive horsey holidays when you can have a full on horsey fix? Soon we will be able to do them again ?.
There will hopefully be a time in your life when it is definitely the right thing. It is such a commitment.

 

[[139672]]

From what you’ve said, I think you should carry on as you are, or maybe you could look for another share that you could do more with? When I had my horse I was lucky he was a few miles from home and I could ride him 5/6 times a week and compete. I love looking at horses for sale, although I wouldn’t own another one. I am far too old now and I wouldn’t want to spend that amount of time looking after them and I don’t actually have the time, as I have a full time and a part time job. Maybe you could consider another pet? Maybe a dog, if you could arrange care of them when you are abroad for work?

 

[be positive]

You say part of what you really want is the control over the management, that is down as a pro BUT in the cons you say that visiting 2 possibly 3 times a week will be all you can fit in, plus a month out of the country, which means finding a really good full livery yard that you can trust to a) follow your management plans, not totally impossible but a good yard will already have good management in place and you are more likely to need to fit in with them and only have a say in certain matter b) they will have to be hands on enough to have authority to act when you are not in the country, that can mean making calls to the vet in an emergency and possibly making a tough decision, finding good livery is hard enough for an owner that visits most days.

I think I would continue to share, maybe look for a more flexible share that you could take away once in a while or see if you can do so with this one, ask if you can buy odd bits of kit or contribute a bit extra for something he needs or you would like him to have, it doesn't sound as if you have much free time to take on much more at the moment.

The other option, it will not give you control or riding but may give you an outside interest would be to look into buying a share in a competition horse, supporting an up and coming rider or even a more well known one, a friend of mine has several horses with a dressage rider, she no longer rides herself so keeps her interest as an owner, you do not have to own a whole one to be involved but it would not be for everyone.

 

[Flame_]

TDLR Is it worth buying a horse if you’ve not really got the time for one and if you’ve got problems with responsibility/getting over attached

Warning: the below post is potentially TMI. You may just want to skip over it

I’ve been saving to buy a horse for maybe a decade now, always telling myself that next year I’ll have less work, and will finally be able to buy one, but it seems like I’m just getting busier as time goes on. Plus, in November last year, I had a near death experience, which has really made me reevaluate my life, and start thinking a little too much with my heart and far too little with my head. This may be a good thing, Carpe Diem I’ve bullet pointed some pros and cons of buying a horse and I’m hoping some of you can tell me how the pros are actually cons, to save a horse from having me as an owner. You're being too modest, you sound like the sort of conscientious person who'd be a great owner.

Pros:

• Owning a horse has been my dream since I was a toddler watching the local pony club ride past. So it's not a whim.
• I’ve got the money for it: my current savings alone could allow me to keep a horse on full grass/part livery for maybe 4/5 years, with money leftover for vet bills etc. Great, very important.
• I’d like to think I’ve got enough experience to own a horse - I’ve worked at riding stables in the past, am currently sharing a horse - though I might be over estimating my own competence. You have done the preparation to own a horse. You don't need too much competence to own a horse, you just need a reasonably forgiving first horse, don't worry about that.
• As much as I love my current loan horse, one thing I’ve always loved with horses is the management of them, and (in my experience) you just don’t get that with sharing a horse; for obvious reasons, the owner’s the one that makes most of the decisions. Owning a horse would give me more freedom as to what to do with them; I’d love to take a horse to a 3 day camp or something like that. True.

Cons:

• I’ve not got the time to give a horse the care they deserve. I could only ride/visit the yard 2 or 3 times a week (and 3 times would be a stretch - the only good yards near me are around 1.5h-2h away) and I've met enough unpleasant/adrenaline-seeking fellow sharers to know that finding good someone to part loan is a task and a half. Look harder? Move closer/ to another area altogether?
• I’m abroad for around a month every year, occasionally for two. Not ideal for keeping a horse in consistent work. Again, you'd need a reasonably educated, easy-going horse. Also a good deal of dosh for full/ holiday livery.
• Owning a horse is expensive. I’ve got the savings for it, but who knows when something else might come up, and I’ll need the money for something else. Not to mention the cost of buying a horse at the moment. Yep, but you only get one life and you can't take it with you. If you don't spend your money on realising your dreams if you can, isn't that sad?
• (Feeling like a fool admitting this) I live in permanent fear of the future. I’m constantly fretting over whether I’ll be fired soon, whether I’ll have to move abroad, whether I’d be able to find another job, etc. I’m a fully grown adult with commitment issues. There’s so many unknowns about owning a horse, it makes me question whether I’d be able to handle it. Are you likely to get fired? Are you skilled, and confident that if your current employment didn't work out, you could do something else? Why would you have to move abroad? That could be a big obstacle.
• Also on that front, if I lost my job, what would happen to the horse? Or if I had to put the horse to sleep? When I lost my dog as a teenager, I was visiting a grief counsellor for about 5 years afterwards, and it took me even longer to even stomach the idea of buying another pet after that. The feeling of selling a horse makes me sick to the stomach, but you can never predict the future. This a real concern, could you handle it if it ever came to that?

The logical choice is to continue sharing a horse (I’ve been sharing for almost 3 years now, riding 1-2 times a week), but, emotionally, I feel like I”m going to spend the rest of my life saying “maybe next year I’ll look at buying a horse”. Daft I know. But that’s why I’m hoping you lovely folks on here can give me even more reasons to stop myself from being so irrational (and to get back the 2h a day I spend looking at ads of horses for sale)

I'm in the make it happen camp, sorry.

 

[EllenJay]

To be a horse owner (similar to a dog/cat/rabbit) you need to be available. With your current work situation, where you can only give 2/3 days a week, that is not enough. Yes, you can put them on full livery, which will overcome that problem, but you want to begin control - that won't happen.

Your goals are in conflict. When you can reconcile what is actually important then you may be in a position to own your own.

Don't get me wrong - there are loads of owners and horses that are happy in full livery, but not if you want the absolute control

 

[timefort]

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that there's nothing in the cons list that makes me think you couldn't do it and be happy.

I work on short term contracts, my savings are for a house deposit, I travel (used to) for work and live in a big city but love hacking. I was constantly asking people "when's the right time to buy a horse?" I came to the conclusion that I was never going to be at the "right" time. With the support of my OH I bought J, eyes wide open with the idea that if it didn't work for whatever reason I could say that I'd tried. J is not the sort of horse that needs daily riding, is on livery at an amazing yard and we've just celebrated 7years together. So long as you have support and back up in place I'd say it's doable.

 

[Lexi_]

I might be misunderstanding your financial situation from the way you’ve written about it, but could you afford the running costs of having a horse coming out of your normal monthly income? Personally I wouldn’t be wanting to run down my savings for that - it would have to be affordable as part of the general monthly budget. Your approach to cash may well vary though!

Your setup sounds like you’d need a decent full/part livery package, especially for those periods when you’re abroad, so I wonder how much control you’d actually have? Would a more flexible share suit you better?

 

[piebaldproblems]

Maybe you could consider another pet? Maybe a dog, if you could arrange care of them when you are abroad for work?

Unfortunately I'm not allowed pets where I live, but I guess I could try smuggle a goldfish in!

You say part of what you really want is the control over the management, that is down as a pro BUT in the cons you say that visiting 2 possibly 3 times a week will be all you can fit in, plus a month out of the country, which means finding a really good full livery yard that you can trust to a) follow your management plans, not totally impossible but a good yard will already have good management in place and you are more likely to need to fit in with them and only have a say in certain matter b) they will have to be hands on enough to have authority to act when you are not in the country, that can mean making calls to the vet in an emergency and possibly making a tough decision, finding good livery is hard enough for an owner that visits most days.

By management, I meant more things along the lines of going barefoot, choosing bits, hiring equine massage therapists, etc, but I do like your idea about a share/syndicate.

I work on short term contracts, my savings are for a house deposit, I travel (used to) for work and live in a big city but love hacking. I was constantly asking people "when's the right time to buy a horse?" I came to the conclusion that I was never going to be at the "right" time. With the support of my OH I bought J, eyes wide open with the idea that if it didn't work for whatever reason I could say that I'd tried. J is not the sort of horse that needs daily riding, is on livery at an amazing yard and we've just celebrated 7years together. So long as you have support and back up in place I'd say it's doable.

I know I'm supposed to be stopping myself, but it's good to know that other people in a similar situation have been able to make the best of it. Horsey life in the cities is a world away from that in the countryside!

I might be misunderstanding your financial situation from the way you’ve written about it, but could you afford the running costs of having a horse coming out of your normal monthly income? Personally I wouldn’t be wanting to run down my savings for that - it would have to be affordable as part of the general monthly budget. Your approach to cash may well vary though!

Sorry, I see now that my post was badly worded. I meant that I've got enough savings in my horse account to maintain a horse for 4 years, after that the money would come from my normal monthly income (which I can afford), and I've got a separate savings account for emergencies.

 

[splashgirl45]

life is too short to not do something you have dreamt about since childhood. you could buy one, have it on full livery at a yard you are happy with and you could have a sharer for a few days each week, that way the horse gets plenty of attention and exercise and you have control of management. it would be a big expense for only visiting and riding 3 times a week and you may find it better to continue to share...

 

[Wishfilly]

On the one hand, I think life is short, and you should go for it. On the other, I think you could get frustrated on full livery if you want control of the management- as you may still have to fit into someone else's system, although of course you'd get to make the big decisions about tack and shoeing etc (although even then if you're not able to see the vet/farrier, that could be tricky).

Is there any way to reduce your hours at work?

 

[Lipglosspukka]

Nope.

I would spend your money on amazing horsey holidays instead. Go on a safari on horseback, go hunting in Ireland, see the pyramids from the back of a horse etc.

Keeping a horse really isn't all that.

 

[Trouper]

I started by thinking that this would be a "no" from me as I am not sure your circumstances/available time would give you what you are looking for. I totally get the wanting to be in control of the horse as the care side is equally as important to me as the riding. However, what concerned me about your text was your reaction to the loss of previous animals and whether you would feel able to pass on the horse if, somehow, you ended up with one that was not right for you. I, too, could not sell on.
Then it occurred to me that you might find going down the charity route to find a horse would work better for you. You would be matched with a suitable one and, if the worst happened, the horse would have the security of the charity behind it to be returned to.
I guess the answer is that you won't know until you try, so trying the slightly easier way maybe an option. Most charities are closed to viewings still at the moment but you may be able to start a conversation with them and get their expert's view on your circumstances?

 

[Chianti]

TDLR Is it worth buying a horse if you’ve not really got the time for one and if you’ve got problems with responsibility/getting over attached

Warning: the below post is potentially TMI. You may just want to skip over it

I’ve been saving to buy a horse for maybe a decade now, always telling myself that next year I’ll have less work, and will finally be able to buy one, but it seems like I’m just getting busier as time goes on. Plus, in November last year, I had a near death experience, which has really made me reevaluate my life, and start thinking a little too much with my heart and far too little with my head. I’ve bullet pointed some pros and cons of buying a horse and I’m hoping some of you can tell me how the pros are actually cons, to save a horse from having me as an owner.

Pros:

• Owning a horse has been my dream since I was a toddler watching the local pony club ride past.
• I’ve got the money for it: my current savings alone could allow me to keep a horse on full grass/part livery for maybe 4/5 years, with money leftover for vet bills etc.
• I’d like to think I’ve got enough experience to own a horse - I’ve worked at riding stables in the past, am currently sharing a horse - though I might be over estimating my own competence.
• As much as I love my current loan horse, one thing I’ve always loved with horses is the management of them, and (in my experience) you just don’t get that with sharing a horse; for obvious reasons, the owner’s the one that makes most of the decisions. Owning a horse would give me more freedom as to what to do with them; I’d love to take a horse to a 3 day camp or something like that.

Cons:

• I’ve not got the time to give a horse the care they deserve. I could only ride/visit the yard 2 or 3 times a week (and 3 times would be a stretch - the only good yards near me are around 1.5h-2h away) and I've met enough unpleasant/adrenaline-seeking fellow sharers to know that finding good someone to part loan is a task and a half.
• I’m abroad for around a month every year, occasionally for two. Not ideal for keeping a horse in consistent work.
• Owning a horse is expensive. I’ve got the savings for it, but who knows when something else might come up, and I’ll need the money for something else. Not to mention the cost of buying a horse at the moment.
• (Feeling like a fool admitting this) I live in permanent fear of the future. I’m constantly fretting over whether I’ll be fired soon, whether I’ll have to move abroad, whether I’d be able to find another job, etc. I’m a fully grown adult with commitment issues. There’s so many unknowns about owning a horse, it makes me question whether I’d be able to handle it.
• Also on that front, if I lost my job, what would happen to the horse? Or if I had to put the horse to sleep? When I lost my dog as a teenager, I was visiting a grief counsellor for about 5 years afterwards, and it took me even longer to even stomach the idea of buying another pet after that. The feeling of selling a horse makes me sick to the stomach, but you can never predict the future.

The logical choice is to continue sharing a horse (I’ve been sharing for almost 3 years now, riding 1-2 times a week), but, emotionally, I feel like I”m going to spend the rest of my life saying “maybe next year I’ll look at buying a horse”. Daft I know. But that’s why I’m hoping you lovely folks on here can give me even more reasons to stop myself from being so irrational (and to get back the 2h a day I spend looking at ads of horses for sale)

Realistically you would have to have a horse on full livery. They would be making a lot of the decisions about every day care and management if you're only visiting 2-3 times a week. I would find that very hard to cope with. Part of my angst at my advanced age is that I don't have the time or energy to do DIY anymore and have to hand the care over to a yard. I still see him every day - sometimes twice ( pre and post Covid) but I'm not in control and I find that very hard. Would yo be able to deal with this?

 

[mariew]

I wouldn't in your situation. A lot of money for not much time spent with the horse. And you wouldn't be the main carer either at 2 or 3 hours per week, so you wouldn't necessarily be the one who knew it best, that would bug me. I would find/carry on sharing something nice where you wouldn't have to worry too much about going away etc.

 

[EmmaC78]

I wouldn't do it either. You would realistically need full livery and driving 1.5 - 2 hours to a yard is not practical on top of long working hours. Horses are generally 10% riding and 90% hassle/work and although I love having my own, I do find it a struggle. I would wait until you are in a better position time and yard location wise and buy one then.