Need some help, what to do next

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Hedge_pig

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I'm struggling to know what to do in my horsey life at the moment, I'm stuck in a rut and I need some ideas for ways to improve things.

Bit of history, I've been riding for 8 years, sporadic lessons for the first few but riding solidly for the last 3 years at least once a week. Shared a lovely warmblood mare who I then took on full loan but didn't have the time to keep her the way I wanted so gave her back and have gone back to sharing another horse 2 days a week along with lessons at a riding school twice a week. I'm currently riding 4 times a week.

After the length of time I've been riding I'd expect to be competing, confident in my riding and around horses and be able to do most things competently but I can't do any of those things!

I can't lunge (can make a horse go round in circles but not sure how to work them correctly while I'm doing it), can't keep a horse in a consistent outline, can't jump without shaking (tiny cross poles) so xc and hunting are out the window and have never jumped a course, nervous hacking (since share horse tanked off with me), would have no idea where to start with groundwork, training etc. I am ok with 'normal' situations but if anything unexpected happens I go to pieces, give away my reins and let the horse take control of the situation, not always with an ideal ending!

I'm just not sure what to do next, had a couple of falls recently after years with none, my confidence has gone completely to pot along with my lower leg position, and I still feel like a total novice after all this time. I wanted to go out competing in dressage next year but the way things are at the moment I can't ever see us getting there, and if we did I wouldn't know where to start, I wouldn't know what to wear, what tack we need, and if I can't keep a consistent outline what on earth would our score be!

I have booked on to a horse first aid course so I'm at least more confident with some aspects of horse care but I just don't know what else I can do. I have lessons twice a week with good instructors riding a variety of horses but I just don't feel like I'm making any progress.

I'd be grateful for any ideas people could give me to get out out of this rut, apologies for the essay!
 
Hi there, I'm not much further along myself but I wondered if you could share some of your goals with your instructor and have her help you work out a structured training schedule to move you forwards? You listed lots of things you feel you can't do there but if you try and tackle them all at once you'll continue overwhelming yourself, your instructor could perhaps help you work out what your priorities ought to be? I bet there's loads you've learnt over the years, you've probably established a good foundation to build on, sounds like you need a focus now.

Lou
X
 
3 years once a week doesn't make you able to go out and compete. Forget time and focus on a target each week/month.
I'd talk to the riding school about staying on one suitable horse. It's great to learn different horses, but it sounds like you need consistancy and focus atm. Ask them if there are times you could lunge a horse with them there and telling you what to do. If a good riding school, ask if you could shadow them for a while. Talk to them about having targets too, they'd help with suitable ones.
I'd also see if you can get someone to video you. If you see that the horse isn't being nasty and see how your sat etc it's a lot easier to believe/correct than someone telling you.
 
As well as keeping having lessons with a good instructor, see if you can find and join a local riding club. Our local one has lots of novice and nervous riders and does classes for all levels, even a camp that you can do.
 
Hi. Do you have your lessons on your share horse? I do think consistency is a good thing so would it be possible to do this? Then incorporate things you want to work on into your lessons. I've had lessons with my instructor on lunging so I know what I'm looking for and working my horse properly. Set yourself smaller targets. Good luck :-) x
 
Have you considered a couple of lessons on your share?
Ive found I've made more progress with my own horse (on part loan then on full loan) in six months than I made in three years on RS horses. It could be because she can already work in a consistent outline, and is quite used to jumping big jumps, or it could be because my instructor actually has time to discuss my goals and any problems I'm having and can adapt the lesson accordingly, whereas RS instructors always had to rush off to the next lesson.
 
Don't be too hard on yourself. If you add up the total hours spent riding with good instruction, or learning stable management, rather than bad/no instruction & mucking out, its probably not much, hence why you feel behind. Look at it this way, you're now riding more regularly than ever before, so that will improve you. Set yourself some realistic goals, such as doing an intro test, or a small clear round. Stable management wise, ask people. Although you can read stuff up too, hands on is the best way. If you can't bandage, ask someone who can to check you practicing. Or if you know someone with a double bridle, ask them to show you how to fit it, same for anything you don't know.
Nobody knows everything though, people who are knowledgeable in one area can be clueless in others. I worked for a brilliant trainer who was like an oracle. However when his eldest needed a bigger pony to the lr shetland they all shared, I had to advise him on what qualities the pony needed. And go to viewings, kids ponies weren't his thing. And yet all round his experience & competency was on a different scale to mine. Plus, don't compare yourself to others. Someone else who's been involved as long as you may well have had completely different experiences. We all know that if you take a child with horsey family, who spends everyday round horses & rides most days, they are going to have a huge advantage over the child who has a weekly lesson & helps at the rs at wkends. That doesn't mean the latter can't ever catch up, just that at that moment, the former has had more exposure. And its no different with older people.
When you see or meet people more experienced, don't look at your failings. Look at what you can practically do to improve to that level. But always set your ambitions high. I always wanted Carl hesters position, & made every effort to copy it. Of course I don't have it, & never will. But my position is a lot better than if my aim had been to ride like the best person I knew in real life at the time. Other thing that helps your riding is getting someone to film you so you can see where improvement is needed. What is your share horse like? Imo you need a schoolmaster type & an owner who can answer basic questions like what to wear for dressage & what class to enter. Plus jumping a straightforward horse that knows its job is very different to one that doesn't. Loads of kids & novice teens have jumped clear round 3' or bigger courses on my 14.2, despite struggling to jump a single 1'3 on their own horse. My point is circumstances make a big difference to our current experience, so stop beating yourself up, nobody was born experienced.
 
Alongside the riding lessons, book lessons in lunging and groundwork. People make the latter sound needlessly complicated - but actually you can get started just by moving the horse around from the ground; backing up, moving sideways, starting and stopping with you without any instruction other than your own stopping and starting. You don't need fancy kit or even specialist training to take the first baby steps! The aim is to get the horse listening and obeying, not achieving circus tricks in the first half hour.

Get started on a course - something like the BHS Horse Owner's Certificate or the ABRS Equitation and Stable Management tests.

Set yourself a goal - you don't need to be working in a consistent outline to go out and have fun at an Intro dressage test, and we can offer you all the help you need at how to prepare and what to wear - you just need to get out there! If you're nervous of doing it on the share, ask at the riding school if they run any events you could take part in - or even have a crack at interdressage if you can get someone to film you.

Lastly - most importantly - talk to your instructors. They will want to know that you feel in a rut, and will be delighted to find a client who wants to set some goals to work towards! They will be able to suggest things, draw up a plan and make sure you progress against it.

If it makes you feel any better, I've been riding for about 25 years and have my own horse. I've been able to make a horse go round in circles on a lunge line for God knows how many years, but I asked my regular instructor for a lesson on how to lunge properly less than a month ago, so I can make sure I'm effective while I'm doing it - there's always something to learn, and never be afraid to ask! The main thing is to identify areas for improvement - which you have done - and then take steps to address them :)
 
Don't kick yourself! I have been riding for 44 years and in all that time I have only ever done 1 clear round jumping attempt and I was nearly hyper ventilating by the time I came out - far too nerve racking for me!! Jumping is not for all people and it certainly is not for me!!!!

It sounds to me like you need to stick to one horse, get to know them, build a bond - probably best if it is the one you share, if it is one for a nervous novice that is. If not, speak to the riding school see if they can allow you to stick with one of their schoolmasters to build your confidence.

My late sister taught me to ride and I have always lived my life by one little bit of advice that she gave me during that period, it was "every journey begins with little steps ..." so take little steps and see where it gets you!!!:)
 
You need to have more control over one animal so a share as much as you can with a non rider will teach you how to properly look after and care for a horse preferably someone like me who has ridden animals and 50 years experience. In fact depending on where you are that is always a possibility We are i north lincolnshire so commutable from lincoln grimsby hull doncaster and all points between You would be very welcome to come and learn no jobs no money just what you wanted to do. Only thing you would require is riders insurance
 
Dont assume that because youve been riding for a while you must be competing because someone else is. Everyone is different and you'll enjoy it so much more if you wait until youre ready and have the right horse.
If I was you I'd try to find courses to help with lunging, stable tasks etc. Or even a livery who would be willing to show you the ropes. The riding school near me do half or full days which includes riding and stable duties under supervision so you can practice and ask as many questions as you like. Generally speaking, its completely different riding a riding school horse to one on loan or having your own.
If I were you Id talk to the riding school and say why you're not happy and is there any way you could progress. It might be useful to have some one to one lessons as i presume you'll mainly be having group ones. And do they offer hacks out? If so you could ask to go on a bombproof horse to build your confidence up.
Failing that I'd try to find another instructor.
Good luck, at the end of the day being around horses should always be fun :)
 
Start by making a list of all the things you CAN do, rather than worrying about what you still have to learn. then think of the things that are not on the list as 'things to learn' rather than 'things I can't do'. Ask your share's owner or your RI to help you to learn a Walk & Trot (Intro) test and then ask someone to judge it for you - you don't need to compete against others, just against yourself. Does your RS have competition days at all? If not, might they if you suggested it?.
Quite a lot of the things on your list of things to learn sound mystifying but are mainly common-sense, 'groundwork' can be a simple as leading a horse to and from its stable or field.
Read as much as you can and then start to put some of the simple things into practice whenever you get the chance. I recommend books by Molly Sivewright, Sylvia Loch and Heather Moffat, just off the top of my head. They all have a slightly different approach but that gives you the opportunity to take the bits that best suit you and your horse at the time.
And the most important advice of all - relax and enjoy!
 
If your having lots of lessons and not progressing in the things you want to, I'd speak to your instructor and see if you can change the focus of your lessons and/ or look for alternative instructors.
Pick one or two specific goals that are important to you (ie, dressage test with share horse in March, or learn to do XYZ by a certain date) share that with your instructor and focus all lessons on that goal, then over a year you could tick off quite a lot.

Horses are wonderful in that you absolutely never stop learning so try not to put too much pressure on yourself to know how to do everything perfectly (non of us know everything!!)
 
I'd be seriously questioning your instructor tbh!! If you've had the same one a good while and no improvement surely he/she would notice. As a livery I'm more than happy when any of the kids or non horse owning adults ask me to show them something !! If there is a friendly livery why not approach them:)
 
Sorry, on my phone and posted too soon.

Windand rain that's a lovely offer thank you, unfortunately I'm in Essex so probably a bit far away but it would have been perfect.

Most seem to have picked up on the lack of consistency and I think that's a probably a big part of the problem. Up until recently I had been riding the same horse the majority of the time and had even contemplated buying him as we clicked so well but he had his already low confidence in his jumping knocked by a few fallers (one of them being me) and has been given a bit of a holiday from the school while they get his confidence back. It's been since I've been trying to find something else I feel comfortable on that I've started questioning what I'm doing and I've noticed how bad habits with my position have crept in.

I'll have a chat with my instructors about setting some goals, they have mini competitions in the school holidays that I could enter, I wanted to do the clear round this holiday but I haven't had the confidence but maybe I will have by Easter if I make that my goal. I think Writtle college do a lunging course as well, that's where I'm doing my first aid course, so I'll try and get booked on to one of those. I have a Sylvia Loch book and one of Kelly Mark's as well, will have to dig them out for a re-read.

I think I need to do more with my share horse as well, she's an old girl but there's plenty she can still do, I'll have a look round for a dressage instructor near me with a view to doing some walk trot tests next year (my riding school is an hour away unfortunately otherwise I'd get one of my instructors over).

Thank you all for your help, it's given me some really good ideas and I'm really grateful for it.
 
Definitely get a video out and see your position if you know it needs work. Seeing it makes it far easier to fix than hearing what is wrong. I find it a fantastic learning tool :)
 
Thank you, I have done that in the past as it does really help but it's so depressing! Because my horse has such a long neck and is, reluctant, to move forward i look like I'm driving with my knees bent and my arms outstretched. It has been a while since then though and I think we've come on a bit, it made me really focus on bending my elbows last time so maybe it won't be so bad and will help me with the other things I need to work on.
 
Hedge_pig said:
Thank you, I have done that in the past as it does really help but it's so depressing! Because my horse has such a long neck and is, reluctant, to move forward i look like I'm driving with my knees bent and my arms outstretched. It has been a while since then though and I think we've come on a bit, it made me really focus on bending my elbows last time so maybe it won't be so bad and will help me with the other things I need to work on.
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You sound like your worrried about how you ride,re "in BHS books" rather than just enjoying what your doing? Do you hack, slopping along on a loose rein? Do you faff around with your share horse, just playing and grooming, talking to and hugging?
To a pro or someone who rides seriously this may seem silly, but for a nervous novice, it's essential. Learn to love it, all of it and take pride in the journey and not focus so much on the destination. In fact, be kind to yourself OP.
 
Shame you are so far away but I cant be the only one who would like a bit of company and someone to ride their pony.
You will do well to start looking at what you can do and not focus on what you cant. Most can have a go at a walk trot test provided you can rise to the trot. Hire or borrow a responsive pony to do it and get the judges opinion. then have a few more lessons find the same judge and have another go preferably with the same pony to see the improvements you need a starting point to progress from so always need consistency. But you need to think positively and do things we have a local dressage center that does have a go shows which lets you experience lots of different classes in a low pressure atmosphere. Everyone will be behid you egging you on to succeed if you give them a chance
 
I definitely think lessons on your share horse would help, and going to college or a riding school to do the BHS Horse Owners Cert or similar would be a great idea.
Also does your share horse live on a yard? How much time do you spend there? Could you spend more time, get friendly with other liveries and just hang out there more than you do now? It's just that I think you would also learn a lot by spending time with owners and their horses 😊 Hope this helps?
 
Hedge_pig said:
I'm struggling to know what to do in my horsey life at the moment, I'm stuck in a rut and I need some ideas for ways to improve things.

Bit of history, I've been riding for 8 years, sporadic lessons for the first few but riding solidly for the last 3 years at least once a week. Shared a lovely warmblood mare who I then took on full loan but didn't have the time to keep her the way I wanted so gave her back and have gone back to sharing another horse 2 days a week along with lessons at a riding school twice a week. I'm currently riding 4 times a week.

After the length of time I've been riding I'd expect to be competing, confident in my riding and around horses and be able to do most things competently but I can't do any of those things!

I can't lunge (can make a horse go round in circles but not sure how to work them correctly while I'm doing it), can't keep a horse in a consistent outline, can't jump without shaking (tiny cross poles) so xc and hunting are out the window and have never jumped a course, nervous hacking (since share horse tanked off with me), would have no idea where to start with groundwork, training etc. I am ok with 'normal' situations but if anything unexpected happens I go to pieces, give away my reins and let the horse take control of the situation, not always with an ideal ending!

I'm just not sure what to do next, had a couple of falls recently after years with none, my confidence has gone completely to pot along with my lower leg position, and I still feel like a total novice after all this time. I wanted to go out competing in dressage next year but the way things are at the moment I can't ever see us getting there, and if we did I wouldn't know where to start, I wouldn't know what to wear, what tack we need, and if I can't keep a consistent outline what on earth would our score be!

I have booked on to a horse first aid course so I'm at least more confident with some aspects of horse care but I just don't know what else I can do. I have lessons twice a week with good instructors riding a variety of horses but I just don't feel like I'm making any progress.

I'd be grateful for any ideas people could give me to get out out of this rut, apologies for the essay!
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Why don't you sound out the possibilities of learning to ride side saddle? Because you have such a secure seat it will do wonders for your confidence and it helps you to be independent of the reins. (My instructor used to say that all riders, men and women, should learn to ride side saddle before they learned to ride astride as it makes them better riders!) The horse often behaves better because you are more confident. In fact my grandfather used to school difficult horses in side saddle.

I don't know where in the country you are but if you contact the Side Saddle Association they will send you a list of SSA qualified instructors in your area. It's best to choose one who has his/her own trained horses as it's easier to learn on a horse who knows his job.

If you got involved and decided that you like it you can hire side saddles for a very low rent. Don't listen to people who say that horses won't take to side saddle - I've never known a horse who didn't in the nearly 20 years I've been riding sideways - most of them take to it like a duck to water. And side saddles don't damage horses backs if they are fitted properly and the rider is balanced. Being schooled to side saddle usually increases a horse's sale value so your shared horse's owner shouldn't mind either.

You can probably guess, from this and my avatar that I'm a side saddle nut :p !
 
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