need some opinions please

F

fine_and_dandy

Well-Known Member
Joined
15 August 2005
Messages
2,795
Location
Hiding in the Cadbury Factory
Visit site
I have posted on here before about a few issues my pony and I have been having of late, to which HHO have given me some great advice.

The past couple of weeks have seen the situation get progressively worse and it is quite obvious now that my pony does not have a single ounce of respect for me. We attempted join-up last night... 3 and a half hours later at 10 o'clock last night I had to give it up as the yard was shutting. I feel like I have completely lost my confidence in my ability to bring on my pony and am seriously considering selling him now and someone else can bring him on and get him to a level that I know he can reach. I have no idea how much I would get for him and I don't think the money I got for him would be enough to get something after him (if that makes sense).

I'm just wondering what you would do in my situation, keep him on and see how things are in a months time, or sell him now. I don't like quitting but I am getting no joy out of working with him.

He is 8, part bred welsh, 12.2 has been lightly ridden but not much (in middle of backing him) good to catch, shoe etc. These pics are when I first got him, but just so you get a good idea

P4140119.jpg


P4140109.jpg


any advice is appreciated
smile.gif
 
awww hes a sweety , first of all whats he doing ? when you say he doesnt have much respect for you ?

Why you doing join up ?

what are you wanting from him ?

Was he not broken in before you had him ? reason I ask is that he is 8 yrs old ? ?
 
he was wild - originally came off the welsh moors! he was brought in by the owner and stood in a field for a while before being broken, but there was no one around to ride him hence his age and inexperience.

with regards to respect, whilst he will respond well on the lunge and has gorgeous paces (really light and floaty) he just will not listen to me in any other respect and will attempt to "do his own thing" for want of a better meaning. This was one of the reasons for undertaking join up, so he knew I was the dominant one and not him.

I wanted to bring him on, get him riding nicely, do a few shows in hand with him and then sell him on as I think he would make a lovely pony for someone to show properly who has the time - and is also the right size for him!
 
Join is not so much about dominance - its more aimed towards getting your horse to trust you mean no harm and then when you have that trust you can move towards working together with respect.
Have you ever done join up with a horse before?
It's easier to get it wrong than get it right. The signals the horse gives off are subtle. By no means is join up a quick fix, but its a starting point if done correctly.
If you want to go down the route of NH and it sounds like this pony has some issues that NH would help with then I would get a professional in to show you how the methods can work if done properly.
Working with an unbroken 8 year old you are faced with some tough challenges.
 
Oh dear, what a mess, eh?
As a loving slave to an extremely dominant mare, I can tell you that respect has to be earnt, not just demanded & it takes time, not just a couple of sessions of 'join-up'!

I can't imagine what would happen if we tried join-up with the Baggage but it would probably involve the sound of crunching bones & a fair amount of blood!
shocked.gif

My daughter has an excellent relationship with her but is still not allowed to lunge her (yet!), as she has a shocking reputation here, squealing, rearing & then going for you - & she bl**dy means it!
That will wait a little longer, until we are sure we can control the situation to a happy outcome - we do not 'test' our ponies & hope for the best! lol

Respect has been earned in other ways, mainly on the ground tbh, by handling & grooming her, finding her 'ticklish' or 'yes, yes, rub me there' spots, bathing her, ensuring she is leading correctly etc., all the little things that add up to the bigger picture.
Riding & handling wise, respect has also come from being utterly consistent, day in, day out! She is handled & ridden calmly & sympathetically, with regard to the fact that she's a mare (with a mind of her own!) but any misbehaving is dealt with instantly & corrected asap!
She is constantly praised for her efforts, no matter how small or feeble & the correction of misbehaviour is dealt with on the degree of its severity but the praise for effort needs to outweigh the corrections or they will stop trying!


What I'm trying to say is, once you have a bond & respect, you can progress on to more demanding things but it takes time, patience & good timing!
Maybe you could go back a few steps & consolidate what he has already learnt, as he doesn't sound ready to move on to the next stage yet anyway?
Is there no-one who could give you a hand with the pony at all, as you are obviously struggling & at the end of your tether?
 
just to clear a couple of things up, I an not looking to use join up as an answer to all the problems, I am fully aware that it is not a remedy but it would be a good starting point and that respect is something you earn.

I have taken things at a slow pace with him and when he has got things right he has been praised and made a fuss of and when he has misbehaved he has been told off.

There is someone at the yard who is helping me and has commented on how stubborn he is. She has also given me her views on that if we continue as we are and it begins to become a chore and not something that ultimately should have some degree of enjoyment that it may be worth selling, especially as the professional help that many people refer to is way beyond my means.

I don't expect anything overnight, I know better than that, but I feel so defeated by him that going up the yard each day is beginning to cast a "gloom" everytime I go, which is not how I want our time together to become.

thank you for all your advice so far
 
Perhaps I am reading this incorrectly but does your ticker counter mean that you only got this pony approx 2 months ago. If so, then I would say it is still early days. Pony has probably settled in and has started to find his barriers.

Do you have any friends who would be willing to help ? Can you borrow another pony to ride occasionally in the meantime just to keep your confidence up ? Do you have an instructor ??

Ponies can be very stubborn and at 8 years old, he's probably going to be even more so.
 
whilst we are friendly up at the yard, no one will ride other peoples horses, I don't quite know why. They charge a lot of money for lessons or otherwise which I cannot afford to keep up consistently. He is the pony that I have had for 2 months to clarify as well. He started pushing boundaries quite early on so this isn't something that has just happened and is a phase, he has been doing it for some time and most of the time I can cope but he is pushing me too far. I accept he has character and this is why he is acting as he is atm but I cannot work with him like this, he is being beyond impossible.
 
Hi - I have found NH methods realy good, I use the Kelly Marks books perfect manner and perfect partner (they are so down to earth and reader friendly). With my companion pony it took about 6 months to gain her trust and about a year until she was totally ok with the whole family. When we got our young TB and had problems we decided to get someone in to help. I am not sure where you are but the fellow I had out (a reccomeded NH assiciate) was £25 plus travel, we only had one session, I went through everything on the phone first so he knew exactly what the issues were, this meant we were able to get loads out of the hour session. Once you have had someone out they are happy to oofer advice via phone and e-mail, so you dont neccessarliy need to have hours and hours of instruction - might be worth it in the long run - Good luck
 
It sounds like you've got a bit stressed out and despondent about the whole thing and so it all seems a bit much. Can you chill out for a few weeks, lay off the "work" and spend some time taking him for walks in hand, grooming him, making a fuss of him and just generally building a relationship? It sounds like his life had changed so much, maybe he just needs some time?
 
think that may be something that I need to do..just take a step back and take stock for a while and also consider his needs and mine and whether we are suited to one another and whether I can bring him on.

thanks everyone, given a lot of things to mull over, much appreciated
smile.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top