Need to get my confidence handling back ASAP

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Haz_Kirbo

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Hello all. I'm Hazel, I'm 15 and I look after four horses one of which is pregnant who I love dearly and hope to be buying after the foal is born and weaned:). Her owners are selling her after. My only problem is as she is pregnant she can be a bit temperamental (Her owner bought her not knowing so yes we were riding her. Are not now). She has kicked the owners daughter 7 times as she's told me and another lady who came to look after received the boot too! She was a pain to ride but seemed to have taken to me and was much more behaved than she was for anyone else-I've been lead to believe.


Anyway, I was planning to take the horse out for a groom when she turned around and kicked me pretty much out of the blue (As I've said we are expecting a foal any time soon so kind of understandable). I really wasn't expecting her to do that to me and I know horses are unpredictable but I trusted her 99.9%.


Since then all my confidence handling her left but I was still fine handling the other horses. I'm starting to build up my trust again by stroking her through the fence (She comes up to me when I come and will come if I call her too). Yesterday I was going to take her out for a walk with my mum and a friend to help and I was going take over when I was ready but she was feeling a little lazy and tried to turn around and come back to me.


We decided to ditch the plan and bring her into the fenced off field and mum had her on a lead rein whilst I cuddled her. My mum and my friend then turned her back out when I had left but she kept looking back to me and trying to walk back over to me. I decided to go in and wait at the electric fence and she went straight back to the field (Hope that makes sense).


I'd like to hear your guys thoughts on what I should do as I think she loves me as she's my absolute world even though at the minute I'm still a little frightened of her :P Please no nasty comments, only things that could help me and others.


Thanks for all your help, Hazel x

(P.S: Please don't say 'what about if she chucks you off?' she has before; got straight back on. Think its cos I really wasn't expecting her to kick me that I've lost my confidence.)
 
I don't want to burst your bubble but love is a human emotion, not an animal one.

If she's heavily pregnant and about to foal she probably just wants to left alone, not going for walks and heavy petting/cuddling. I would lavish your attention on the other horses so you can build up your confidence.

I would leave her be (other than routine care), let her foal and then once hormones calm down you can start doing more with her. If the foal is a surprise then I assume you don't know who the sire is? It would be best to see what the foal turns out like before deciding your going to have it and get to attached.
 
catroo said:
I don't want to burst your bubble but love is a human emotion, not an animal one.

If she's heavily pregnant and about to foal she probably just wants to left alone, not going for walks and heavy petting/cuddling. I would lavish your attention on the other horses so you can build up your confidence.

I would leave her be (other than routine care), let her foal and then once hormones calm down you can start doing more with her. If the foal is a surprise then I assume you don't know who the sire is? It would be best to see what the foal turns out like before deciding your going to have it and get to attached.
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Thanks for your advice but what is a bond between horse and rider then? She was a little s**t for everyone else and seemed to have a lot of respect for me right up until the end where we found she was pregnant (ridden). She comes up to me and like I said wouldn't move without me being in sight or leading her, so I do think she loves me hehe :)). Even if not I think we have a 'bond' :)).


Secondly, I give her attention because she wants it. When I take Bella out to groom and tack up she comes up and will shove her face in demanding for attention so if she didn't want it she'd walk away. I mean she snuck under the fencing to come see me!


Thanks, anyway x
 
Leave her alone for a while. You are too young to imagine how the last trimester feels but ask your mother! Mares preparing to foal just want left alone. She will be coming to you because she expects food. Let her relax.

A bond between horse and rider does not mean they are in love, it means the rider knows the way of the horse and responds to that. A rider can have a great bond with the horse on a horse they have never stroked or looked at before, just hopped on. Its a skill not an emotion.
 
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Quite right equi.

OP Old though I am I can remember being your age and being convinced my pony loved me. (Still am actually...) Yes there can be a bond between horse and rider. But as an adult I know that is born of respect and a recognition of herd behaviour. Not love for an individual. Love for food comes into it sometimes - but not for a person.

Any pregnant female is going to be uncomfortable and moody. And she is going to get loads worse when the foal is born.

She isn't "coming to see you" if you have someone hold her on a lead rein whilst you cuddle her. Or if you plan to take her out for a walk. Leave her in peace for now and please be very careful around her once the foal is born. Once it is weaned you can start re-building something with the mare. But motherhood changes people so don't be surprised if she is not the mare you fell in love with. You will both have changed by then I'm afraid.

Use the time positively to develop your understanding and knowledge of horses, both ridden and on the ground. There are good accredited courses online, good books and of course good instructors!
 
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