Needing some thoughts on youngster

I would honestly send him away for a bit let him go get an education away from “mum”, if they can have him in a small herd with a range of ages, perfect! Older horses will teach him about space/respect, younger ones will play with him and help he learn to explore. The pro will be able to extend those lessons to humans and real life. If they can get him going consistently, then you can start going for lessons with them, or hack him out there and make a decision from there what to do.

Be honest with yourself though because you’ll have to take him as he is when he returns and try not to “come back” to now in your head now and give him a fresh chance if he does become a reformed pony!

Youngsters are often knobs for a few months at a time, they’re exploring their world, everyone’s boundaries and the rules at large. Nothing is a permanent habit I’d say at this point but it needs nipping in the bud! These early stages are hard as it can feel like a completely different horse day to day!
 
The trainer may have availability for him to go to their yard instead but I can't currently see how that will change things with me when he's back home.

Take it. I have a little gelding who I adore, but who reacts to my most gentle chastisement with dramatic horror (My MUMMY doesn’t LOVE me! Waaaaa!) and ignored everyone else’s attempts to get him to cooperate because he wanted his mum. I sent him away for 5 weeks to a pro friend because he just needed to grow up and learn out of my shadow. He came back a much more mature pony, who now can be handled by anyone - even the people he wouldn’t tolerate before.
 
Definitley send him away if it's affordable for you. He needs a period of consistent work now.

As for whether you'll ever be a good match no one can say at this stage.

However, just to add my experience of owning one NF pony was that, like many native breeds, they are opinionated.

Ours belonged to my eldest daughter, when she tried him he tried to whip round with her, but she managed him and we really liked him. Hed been a boy's hunting and Tetrathlon pony, he was game as you like and had the most amazing jump. My daughter won all sorts with him and he was an amazing hack too.

When she outgrew him we couldn't bear to part with him and we loaned him from our yard and guess what? He took the absolute Mickey (his stable name funnily enough 😂) out of his first and second loaners. Both lovely girls and not novice riders. He would nap and spin and just generally make life difficult for them.

I was glad I didn't sell him or I would have been done under the Trade Descriptions Act as I would have advertised him as an out and out schoolmaster!
Loaning him just proved that even into his teens he hasn't lost his will to exploit any rider weakness he picked up on.

My daughter and I both loved riding him, but he was a bit of a monkey under the surface.
 
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he tanked off properly which seems to be his go-to tactic.

This is not a dominance thing, but a safety thing.
I disagree. I think it can be a dominance thing. Generalising, every horse we handle or ride is bigger and stronger and heavier than we are and at some point the question needs to be settled that the human is in charge. If the horse is using tanking off as a weapon, then I have watched Mark Rashid deal with this by taking the horse to an outdoor arena (small one) and then waving his arms to force the horse (unridden) to continue running.
The stop and go were reclaimed by the human being in the school.

I did this in a technical sense when hacking solo, my horse ran away with me. She was possibly spooked but we were hurtling along. When she slowed, I used some leg and forced her to contiinue. It is very ordinary, for a hacking horse to be spooked and to run and unless the situation is dangerous, I always ask for a little more than the horse has forced upon me. And be cross.
 
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Youngsters are not knobs. There are gaps in their training and a lack of understanding. Too many are rushed into work without time for them to process all that they are being asked. How many years does it take to produce a top class horse properly? Training is not a quick fix. It is far better for the horse/pony to build their trust slowly than a quick 6/8 weeks send away.

Sometimes you don't click with each other. OP, if you don't have the confidence nor feel that it will come, it maybe best to ask for him to go on sales livery.
 
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