Needing some words of wisdom...

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horseluver4eva

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Ive not been riding as my horse is on rest, but watching my friend today it really makes me feel like giving up! She was jumping good heights and was literally flying over them, her pony was a star. Whenever im in the arena with my horse he'll bolt over and throw himself over jumps, he gets so excited you can feel it through the saddle, making a raised trotting pole a task! Shes going out competing this weekend and i cant compete because he will just take off and take the piss. My friends go for canters through the woodlands and gallop along the beach... I cant gallop because he will take off, and i cant canter with others because he will rear and bronc and basically crap himself because he gets so worked up being left! I know in the end up he will make an absolutely amazing horse and im hoping to bsja him and things. But in the mean time it feels like im getting no where, and now seeing everybody else ride it really gets me down:( He has come on leaps and bounds out hacking and also in the school, hes finally going over trotting poles rather than jumping the lot, but its just one of those days where it feels like nothings going right:( He has his teeth, back etc checked regularly and hes so fit and healthy, yet i can never have the chance to show him off. Need some words of wisdom please, just need that little bit of encouragement to get where i want to be; because i do know in the end he will bring home so many rosettes, it just seems so distant at the moment... Sorry for the long blabber on its just one of those days and i need to get it off my chest!
 
My old boy who i lost on Saturday age 36 yrs was just like this! He would bolt the minute his feet touched grass, spin and buck if he didn't go first, was given to me as a dangerous horse to ride! I had many years of pleasure riding him i just obeyed a few simple rules with him. When i hacked out i went with quiet or confident horses who would not bolt if he went mad, i made sure if we went for a canter he went first (pre arranged) and spent lots of time just walking him on grass. He still had his moments but the more i got to know him i knew what he was going to do before he did! He was never 100 percent quiet but we had some nice rides.
He was an ex BSJA showjumper and before that a Trotter so his whole life he had been galloped around. In the end i could get him quietly round a course of jumps.
 
This horse thing is supposed to be fun.
Do you need help from the right trainer?
Do you need an experienced person to ride him for you to help you to get to a stage where you are happier and safer?
Is he the right horse for someone else?
I've seen a few horses that had their owners at their wits end change hands and find their perfect match owner, so although that might be a hard option to consider, it might be something to think about. So - do you think you can work through this with help? Or is this the wrong partnership for the two of you?
 
spottydottypony said:
My old boy who i lost on Saturday age 36 yrs was just like this! He would bolt the minute his feet touched grass, spin and buck if he didn't go first, was given to me as a dangerous horse to ride! I had many years of pleasure riding him i just obeyed a few simple rules with him. When i hacked out i went with quiet or confident horses who would not bolt if he went mad, i made sure if we went for a canter he went first (pre arranged) and spent lots of time just walking him on grass. He still had his moments but the more i got to know him i knew what he was going to do before he did! He was never 100 percent quiet but we had some nice rides.
He was an ex BSJA showjumper and before that a Trotter so his whole life he had been galloped around. In the end i could get him quietly round a course of jumps.
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Thank you that makes me feel better. your right though, itll just take time i suppose. Im really sorry for your loss it must be awful for you
 
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Tinypony said:
This horse thing is supposed to be fun.
Do you need help from the right trainer?
Do you need an experienced person to ride him for you to help you to get to a stage where you are happier and safer?
Is he the right horse for someone else?
I've seen a few horses that had their owners at their wits end change hands and find their perfect match owner, so although that might be a hard option to consider, it might be something to think about. So - do you think you can work through this with help? Or is this the wrong partnership for the two of you?
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I know i can do it with him, im not scared of him i trust him with my life.,Its just the fact that whilst everyones competing im still at the bottom. but there again i suppose you have to start somewhere! I do enjoy working with him but some days when hes been a nightmare it just puts me back a bit and gets me thinking. i suppose ive just got to think of what he will be once we are sorted
 
My first pony was exactly the same. I bought him as a project 5 year old and wasn't prepared for the patience that I had to have. For about 8 months I was pissed around with and humiliated in my village, girls in pony club bitched about me etc. I was chucked out of shows and then it just clicked and we had a better bond than most my friends with their schoolmasters had! He turned into a gem and was a star at pony club camp where one of the ladies who had made fun of him said I must be proud of myself as I had produced him nicely and let me tell you it's worth the wait! Good luck you can do it!!!!
 
It did take time i just made sure i never put him in the situation were other horses were hurtling past him. I took him the beach and just let him gallop, he was in front of course! Just try to go on as many calm rides as you can and build up to small canters. I always told the people i rode with never to pass me as he would go mad! The more you work with him you will know when hes going to react. I went on a few fun rides too but made sure i had a sane companion who let me go first! When i was going home he jogged terribly, pulling my hands all the time but i found it worse if he was on a tight rein. The minute i gathered my reins he would tense up like a coil ready to go so i tried to have as light contact as possible. Dont put yourself in situations where people go galloping mad past you. It sounds like he has been galloped around in his past. Walk him on grass and open spaces as much as possible, build up to a trot when you feel confident and only when you and him are ready a small canter. It will come in time x
 
Hi. I know how you are feeling. I am going through a rough patch with my horse at the moment. He seems to be going through a stage of coming out for a ride like a crazed beast, snorting and spooky. I have to lunge EVERYTIME I want to ride to take the edge off and the thought of going on a hack is out of the question as I think he would kill me! (Btw, have had teeth, back checked and a new saddle fitted and not changed his feed or anything- it does seem to be some sort of a 5 year old phase) It is destroying my confidence and watching other people go off on lovely hacks or popping off to a competion highlights how much I wish it was me doing those things. I am just hoping I can ride this out with the help of my RI and get back to enjoying my lovely boy. (((hugs))) you are not alone!
 
Paitence is key here I'm afraid :o
It sounds like your horse is green? If so just take things nice and slow - yes for you it might be a bit boring just now but keep thinking about how fabulous it'll feel to come out the other side with a lovely well balanced horse that is able to cope with the things you want to do. If you rush it it won't go well for either of you :(
If you're lad gets excited when you go for a group canter go back a step. For the hacking get some hacking buddies that are able to do slow hacks! I.e do walk and trot only!
If you can't do group canters, and your hacking buddies canter off without you no wonder your poor boy freaks out, he doesn't want to be left alone which is understandable find better friends, they shouldn't be leaving you behind because that's dangerous and irresponsible!

My lad was very green when I bought him and we did take it at a snails pace but it was a wonderful journey together and now I'm proud to say we can do trotting poles without cat leaping them (working on the canter poles ;)), he can jump 3'9" with ease, hacks out in a well mannered way in company in front or behind and is quite happy to hack out alone - which I never imagined I'd ever do! :D

It can be done but you must be patient and go at the pace that best suits your horse. As he learns more you'll probably find your rate of progress speeds up considerably but until then keep it slow and steady.

Have I bored you silly with my motherly advice? ;)
 
What Tinypony says. For every happy ending, 10 don't work out. You just have to decide what you want. No point in wasting energy in wishing you had the fun horse. You may well get there, you may not. It's not a mark on you or him but sometimes people and horses don't gel. Sometimes people get caught up in the Hollywood film fantasy and forget reality. I'm not saying this to be mean. I see a lot of people not having fun with horses because they don't and or can't admit their true feelings. So if you want to sort this do not waste your time thinking of what others have. Be rational and don't make excuses. Just remember if it doesnt't work for you it may be he might be better for someone else. It also may be that a horse out there could be all you dreamed of with you but not someone else.
 
sandi_84 said:
Paitence is key here I'm afraid :o
It sounds like your horse is green? If so just take things nice and slow - yes for you it might be a bit boring just now but keep thinking about how fabulous it'll feel to come out the other side with a lovely well balanced horse that is able to cope with the things you want to do. If you rush it it won't go well for either of you :(
If you're lad gets excited when you go for a group canter go back a step. For the hacking get some hacking buddies that are able to do slow hacks! I.e do walk and trot only!
If you can't do group canters, and your hacking buddies canter off without you no wonder your poor boy freaks out, he doesn't want to be left alone which is understandable find better friends, they shouldn't be leaving you behind because that's dangerous and irresponsible!

My lad was very green when I bought him and we did take it at a snails pace but it was a wonderful journey together and now I'm proud to say we can do trotting poles without cat leaping them (working on the canter poles ;)), he can jump 3'9" with ease, hacks out in a well mannered way in company in front or behind and is quite happy to hack out alone - which I never imagined I'd ever do! :D

It can be done but you must be patient and go at the pace that best suits your horse. As he learns more you'll probably find your rate of progress speeds up considerably but until then keep it slow and steady.

Have I bored you silly with my motherly advice? ;)
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Aww thank you thats actually gave me some hope!! your right i mean dont get me wrong some of my friends go at my pace but others really dont understand... the other day (think it was a few days before his split) they went for a canter, their horses bolted and i couldnt let jack go or he'd carry on even more so i had to wait. He was rearing just about vertical, trying to bolt off, broncing and he was so close to going back on me! sometimes it really feels like theres no hope. But your story sounds amazing and i really hope ill get there some day. I agree though i will take it as slow as i can because in the long run itll probably be worth it! thank you so much:)
kinnygirl1 said:
Hi. I know how you are feeling. I am going through a rough patch with my horse at the moment. He seems to be going through a stage of coming out for a ride like a crazed beast, snorting and spooky. I have to lunge EVERYTIME I want to ride to take the edge off and the thought of going on a hack is out of the question as I think he would kill me! (Btw, have had teeth, back checked and a new saddle fitted and not changed his feed or anything- it does seem to be some sort of a 5 year old phase) It is destroying my confidence and watching other people go off on lovely hacks or popping off to a competion highlights how much I wish it was me doing those things. I am just hoping I can ride this out with the help of my RI and get back to enjoying my lovely boy. (((hugs))) you are not alone!
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Awh im so sorry to hear that it must be awful! hope you sort it soon! nice to know im not the only one having these problems:) Good luck! we'll both do it, and when we do itll be worth it:) (((Hugs!)))

spottydottypony said:
It did take time i just made sure i never put him in the situation were other horses were hurtling past him. I took him the beach and just let him gallop, he was in front of course! Just try to go on as many calm rides as you can and build up to small canters. I always told the people i rode with never to pass me as he would go mad! The more you work with him you will know when hes going to react. I went on a few fun rides too but made sure i had a sane companion who let me go first! When i was going home he jogged terribly, pulling my hands all the time but i found it worse if he was on a tight rein. The minute i gathered my reins he would tense up like a coil ready to go so i tried to have as light contact as possible. Dont put yourself in situations where people go galloping mad past you. It sounds like he has been galloped around in his past. Walk him on grass and open spaces as much as possible, build up to a trot when you feel confident and only when you and him are ready a small canter. It will come in time x
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Thank you lovely, with the lovely weather i think ill just do that, theres loads of fields around so i think ill take him on them to get him used to them being calm:) thanks for the advice its great to hear from others personal experiences x
brigit said:
My first pony was exactly the same. I bought him as a project 5 year old and wasn't prepared for the patience that I had to have. For about 8 months I was pissed around with and humiliated in my village, girls in pony club bitched about me etc. I was chucked out of shows and then it just clicked and we had a better bond than most my friends with their schoolmasters had! He turned into a gem and was a star at pony club camp where one of the ladies who had made fun of him said I must be proud of myself as I had produced him nicely and let me tell you it's worth the wait! Good luck you can do it!!!!
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Thanks hun means a lot! hopefully this time next year ill be posting on here with all his rosettes;) aww what an experience you and your pony had!! and it sounds as though you came out as a better rider with a fab pony:) hope the same will apply to me!
 
spottydottypony said:
I hope you sort your boy out im sure you will . Thank you for your kind words about my boy im devastated :((
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You know where i am if you need a chat, just send me a message!! huge (((hugs)))

Equilibrium Ireland said:
What Tinypony says. For every happy ending, 10 don't work out. You just have to decide what you want. No point in wasting energy in wishing you had the fun horse. You may well get there, you may not. It's not a mark on you or him but sometimes people and horses don't gel. Sometimes people get caught up in the Hollywood film fantasy and forget reality. I'm not saying this to be mean. I see a lot of people not having fun with horses because they don't and or can't admit their true feelings. So if you want to sort this do not waste your time thinking of what others have. Be rational and don't make excuses. Just remember if it doesnt't work for you it may be he might be better for someone else. It also may be that a horse out there could be all you dreamed of with you but not someone else.
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I understand completely what you mean; i think its the fact im jealous because im stuck at home while everybody else is out having fun. But your right it isnt a fantasy, at the end of the day every horse has to start somewhere i suppose and i really do want to make him an amazing horse. On the ground he is an angel follows me around the field, canters up to me.... we really have a lovely bond which makes me want to make him the horse he is even more. Im just having one of those days, but i do truly love him and i want to suceed
 
horseluver4eva said:
Aww thank you thats actually gave me some hope!! your right i mean dont get me wrong some of my friends go at my pace but others really dont understand... the other day (think it was a few days before his split) they went for a canter, their horses bolted and i couldnt let jack go or he'd carry on even more so i had to wait. He was rearing just about vertical, trying to bolt off, broncing and he was so close to going back on me! sometimes it really feels like theres no hope. But your story sounds amazing and i really hope ill get there some day. I agree though i will take it as slow as i can because in the long run itll probably be worth it! thank you so much:)
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For anyone else it probably doesn't sound that special but for me my lad does everything I want to do with him - I'm a happy hacker in the main :D

Honestly though you really do need to get some sensible hacking buddies, that was extremely dangerous! It sounds like they can't control their own horses and at the stage it seems your horse is at you need sensible people with sensible horses to go hacking with. My sister had a lucky escape with her horse a couple of years ago, she was trying to do too much too soon and went hacking alone with her very excitable and spooky horse. He took off with her heading for a busy main road and she was very lucky to be able to stop him before they ended up on the road!
Not only do your friends put you and your horse in a very real dangerous position but they also sound like they are putting themselves and their own horses in a dangerous situation too.
Do you have a trainer/ RI that you take regular instruction from? It really does help having a proper qualified teacher on the ground even just to correct those little things that don't seem that big but have a huge impact on the whole if you understand me?
Please please be very careful and take it slowly, you're right it will be worth the extra time a million and one times over and you'll still have your sanity, arms/legs & head still intact! :p
I know the feeling of just wanting to get on with it and go a mile a minute can be hard to resist but resist!
Don't take people the wrong way when they are asking if you are sure you want this horse/ have the time that it needs etc, they are looking out for you and your horses best interest at heart and you would do well to seriously and truthfully consider what they are asking. If the answer in your heart is no, there is no shame in admitting it. People overhorse themselves all the time and it takes a very mature person to admit they've bitten off more than they can chew - which I'm not by any means saying you have!
If you really are prepared for the time and hard work and you really think you can cope with this horse that is great but again (I know, I know! I'm sorry!) slowly slowly catchy monkey! ;) and if you don't have an experienced RI/trainer please do get one, trust me you'll thank me! ;):D
 
Its hard when you see others around you achieving their ambitions with their horses,but hey,try to take a deep breath,slow down and just allow your horse to develop and progress at his own pace.I always believe that training a horse,or other animal,is a journey along a continuum.You cannot rush your relationship,just be consistent and make small achievable aims,building up to the bigger ones in gradual steps.Try not to compare with horses which are well established.I bet the owners could tell a few stories about their own journey.Get a good instructor and take things easy.
Good luck
 
sandi_84 said:
For anyone else it probably doesn't sound that special but for me my lad does everything I want to do with him - I'm a happy hacker in the main :D

Honestly though you really do need to get some sensible hacking buddies, that was extremely dangerous! It sounds like they can't control their own horses and at the stage it seems your horse is at you need sensible people with sensible horses to go hacking with. My sister had a lucky escape with her horse a couple of years ago, she was trying to do too much too soon and went hacking alone with her very excitable and spooky horse. He took off with her heading for a busy main road and she was very lucky to be able to stop him before they ended up on the road!
Not only do your friends put you and your horse in a very real dangerous position but they also sound like they are putting themselves and their own horses in a dangerous situation too.
Do you have a trainer/ RI that you take regular instruction from? It really does help having a proper qualified teacher on the ground even just to correct those little things that don't seem that big but have a huge impact on the whole if you understand me?
Please please be very careful and take it slowly, you're right it will be worth the extra time a million and one times over and you'll still have your sanity, arms/legs & head still intact! :p
I know the feeling of just wanting to get on with it and go a mile a minute can be hard to resist but resist!
Don't take people the wrong way when they are asking if you are sure you want this horse/ have the time that it needs etc, they are looking out for you and your horses best interest at heart and you would do well to seriously and truthfully consider what they are asking. If the answer in your heart is no, there is no shame in admitting it. People overhorse themselves all the time and it takes a very mature person to admit they've bitten off more than they can chew - which I'm not by any means saying you have!
If you really are prepared for the time and hard work and you really think you can cope with this horse that is great but again (I know, I know! I'm sorry!) slowly slowly catchy monkey! ;) and if you don't have an experienced RI/trainer please do get one, trust me you'll thank me! ;):D
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I know i mean one of my best friends is amazing she completely understands im just talking to her now about it, and shes saying the same as you guys. what a terrible story!! she was so lucky to come away unharmed! hearing stories like that really does scare me, and it makes me think even more how careful im going to have to be. I will resist:D i dont want any harm between me or my horse!
The answer is yes i do want him and i do have the time, i know we'll get there but it feels like 1 step forward 3 steps back! i will admit he is a challenge and yes in some matters i feel like he is A LOT of horse, especially during jumping. But thank you your really right and i appreciate your help:) but i dont think i could ever sell him, hes my little project and when hes learned i want to tell people that i made him that horse he is today:) hehe i will take it slow i promise:) i think its a bit looking back at my previous horse as well as i miss her dearly thinking how perfect she became...and now its starting from scratch:rolleyes: yeah i have an instructor who is fab, thats another thing we are trying him bitless at the mo, because he hates bits so were taking it even slower but he really is going well with bitless and a lot safer:) so thats another thing thats going well:D but i really mean it thank you for your help!
Wundahorse said:
Its hard when you see others around you achieving their ambitions with their horses,but hey,try to take a deep breath,slow down and just allow your horse to develop and progress at his own pace.I always believe that training a horse,or other animal,is a journey along a continuum.You cannot rush your relationship,just be consistent and make small achievable aims,building up to the bigger ones in gradual steps.Try not to compare with horses which are well established.I bet the owners could tell a few stories about their own journey.Get a good instructor and take things easy.
Good luck
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Thanks!! i think ill do what you said about little achievements, because when i think about it it feels like ive made lots of little progressions which i didnt actually think about:D
 
Thanks hun means a lot! hopefully this time next year ill be posting on here with all his rosettes;) aww what an experience you and your pony had!! and it sounds as though you came out as a better rider with a fab pony:) hope the same will apply to me![/QUOTE]

I'm sure you will be!:D watch this space.. we're all here for you:)
thank you- he's sadly in a new home now but he's now a schoolmaster type teaching a novice lady how to ride so goes to show how it can all switch around with a lot of perseverance! a year and a half ago it was a struggle to get a balanced canter but now he's on the bit and collected:p keep going- I dont agree with the comments saying you should give up you obviously have a lovely bond
 
horseluver4eva said:
I know i mean one of my best friends is amazing she completely understands im just talking to her now about it, and shes saying the same as you guys. what a terrible story!! she was so lucky to come away unharmed! hearing stories like that really does scare me, and it makes me think even more how careful im going to have to be. I will resist:D i dont want any harm between me or my horse!
The answer is yes i do want him and i do have the time, i know we'll get there but it feels like 1 step forward 3 steps back! i will admit he is a challenge and yes in some matters i feel like he is A LOT of horse, especially during jumping. But thank you your really right and i appreciate your help:) but i dont think i could ever sell him, hes my little project and when hes learned i want to tell people that i made him that horse he is today:) hehe i will take it slow i promise:) i think its a bit looking back at my previous horse as well as i miss her dearly thinking how perfect she became...and now its starting from scratch:rolleyes: yeah i have an instructor who is fab, thats another thing we are trying him bitless at the mo, because he hates bits so were taking it even slower but he really is going well with bitless and a lot safer:) so thats another thing thats going well:D but i really mean it thank you for your help!
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Good! :D I'm glad you've had a proper think about it and you feel that you and you're horse can do it together as a team :D I'm glad you've got a sensible friend and a good instructor too, they'll help you loads and be your sanity when you feel things aren't going well (we all know that feeling far too well ;)). You're very welcome and good luck with it all, you're going to be so proud of yourself and your horse at the end of it all! :D
 
Well then I think you have a recipie to succeed. Enjoy little successes as this will get you further faster. Maybe in the meantime why not take a lesson on a schoolmaster as this will help you too. You'll get to do stuff and be ready for your boy. Don't pressure yourself. Have fun.

Terri
 
You can compete your horse. As part of his education I suggest that you take him to some in-hand classes. This will give you something to aim for, will allow you to join in the fun of getting ready with your friends and may well get you a few rosettes. If he is well-mannered on the ground, it might help him to settle when other horses are present in other situations, as well.
 
Haven't read other replies so sorry if i repeat, what about doing some in hand showing or some walk trot dressage tests so you can get dressed up and show him off but you're keeping him in his comfort zone? What I've found with a difficult mare we had is that it took ages (2 years) then she suddenly just got it and you can now throw anything at her and because we were patient at first she seems to be able to handle it. You might find everything will just fall in to place and you'll be out sooner than you think. Have you ever tried a calmer? We'd tried a few for our mare and none made any difference until we used equifeast. It might give you a bit of a helping hand to get going.
 
Thank you! i like the idea of in hand classes though theres a show next month so i think ill take him to those in hand classes:) sorry cant reply individually in a rush. Rode him today legs healed and vet said i could jump:D took him around and i think hes been reading my mind! done some poles and then done some small jumps. He was an absolute star! he started getting full of himself jumping away instead of in to the jumps literally!! :confused: but he was just excited, and a bit of what he was used to in his earlier life. But for the better part he was sooooo good and i am so proud:) i can see that he will be so good one day! So today was my first mini achievement made:) getting him over a jump without leaping and taking off, and we done it!!
 
Well done you and your boy! It's good to have a break through day :D
Have you thought of putting a placing pole down for him? It might be helpful to him so he knows where his take off point is supposed to be.
Also if he's in the habit of jumping out the side rather than over the jump some V poles might help with that too :)
So pleased for you that he's been given the all clear by the vet and that you've had a good day riding him! :D
 
it is isnt it:D im chuffed with him! i used to do v poles but lost the poles so we didnt do the anymore.... got some more now though and completely forgot about doing them! thank you for that
 
The thing that always got me through days like that was to think that when the horse is going well and everyone is admiring, you can say that you did all the work! :) Even tiny things can be an achievement - with one of mine one of the earlier things was her standing still long enough to get the saddle on :rolleyes: It will be a long, hard road but definitely worth it in the end :)
 
Pearlsasinger said:
You can compete your horse. As part of his education I suggest that you take him to some in-hand classes.
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This :D

Neddy is a bit of a nut too, when I first started working on him, I had honestly resigned myself to the fact that I would never ride by myself and if I did, I certainly wouldn't go any faster than walk!!

Today I had a super fast gallop and I pulled him up by sitting up and saying "Wooooaaahh Ned"

However, I've not quite cracked his jumping when at shows. I have to walk him in-between jumps or he'll nap/rear/spin or charge too fast and knock them. So, I figured I'd maybe do one or two clear rounds, but really make this year about in-hand. I've got really into it :D it's so fun! Hopefully this'll help his fizzy nature at shows :)

I can't really advise you, but I'm sure you'll get there! Good luck and I hope to see lots of positive threads in the future :)
 
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