negotiating with sharers..

weesophz

weesophz

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okay guys its quite a long one..

have 2 sharers now, one ive had for nearly 2 years and the other only a couple of weeks.

my newest one works fixed shifts so he'll always be doing the same days, and i try to be as fair as possible. one will do 3 days and will do 2, with it alternating every week.

next week my new sharer is of off thurs and fri so he'll be doing those days, im only off monday and sunday so thats the days i was meant to be doing.
first sharer was meant to be doing tues wed and saturday, told me she had exams wednesday so could she not do tuesday, which is totally fair enough i have no issue with this so i'll do tuesday after work. but shes also asking if she can not do saturday but wont give me a reason, im working double shift that day so theres no way i can do fox, and my newer sharer is working 8 hours then on call.

Now, on a one off its fine, but twice now ive had to pay one of the other liveries to do fox for me since she's ditching out and not telling me why. i want to persue the matter without pissing her off. i dont want her to think im singling her out since the new sharer, cos he has nothing to do with it.

what do i do?! :(
 
IMO (and I've never had a sharer so wouldn't know how it works), but it is your horse....she has given you notice that she can't do him, so it is up to you to sort cover....she shouldn't have to give you a reason....?
 
Think I'd be tempted to keep the peace this time by paying to have livery on that one day but explain to the sharers that in the future if they've agreed to their days but then can't do them then they have to pay the livery for that day as being able to swap with somebody else isn't guaranted. :)
 
Maisy said:
IMO (and I've never had a sharer so wouldn't know how it works), but it is your horse....she has given you notice that she can't do him, so it is up to you to sort cover....she shouldn't have to give you a reason....?
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very fair point. but im short on cash just now and dont want to have to shovel out more for someone else to do it. the point of the sharers is that they are responsible for my horse they days i cant do him

DING. shes just text me saying she wont be able to get a lift, but she often gets the train up to the farm anyway. i feel bad now, but surely if she gets the train other times theres no reason she cant on the saturday?
 
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trains run differently on a Sat?

TBH you either need an arrangement like the other poster suggested where the sharers are wholly responsible for the horse on their allocated days (though the swing day might not really work) or you have to suck it up.
 
Batgirl said:
trains run differently on a Sat?

TBH you either need an arrangement like the other poster suggested where the sharers are wholly responsible for the horse on their allocated days (though the swing day might not really work) or you have to suck it up.
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they dont up my way!
i had always said that was the deal anyway, i dont know if she thinks that cos theres another sharer now she doesnt have to do as much work, but she was the one that said she still wanted to do as many days as poss.
 
Maybe it's simple as you are used to it, but to me this sounds like quite a complicated arrangement doing different things on different days and trying to juggle two of you on shifts with one on fixed days.

If it were my horse I would like to simplify it if possible so everyone does set days, if they need to swap they can ask but ultimately it's their responsibility to look after the horse or pay for the livery. If you can't manage this due to shift patterns etc you may have to expect that occasionally no one will be able to do the horse.
 
have you directly asked for payment, so when she cancels have you responded with 'thanks for letting me know, have you arranged someone to cover you?' or 'can you leave me the £x at te yard to pay for the livery?' Not going up isn't the issue to me, it seems to be the cover, or cost of the cover.
 
Abacus said:
Maybe it's simple as you are used to it, but to me this sounds like quite a complicated arrangement doing different things on different days and trying to juggle two of you on shifts with one on fixed days.

If it were my horse I would like to simplify it if possible so everyone does set days, if they need to swap they can ask but ultimately it's their responsibility to look after the horse or pay for the livery. If you can't manage this due to shift patterns etc you may have to expect that occasionally no one will be able to do the horse.
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its got a lot more complicated since i had to take on a second sharer!
my first sharer is the only with no prior commitments thats why she gets the spare days, the only day she cant do for definite is a thursday and thats always been the case which has been fine.

i dont know if im making it more complicated for myself!
 
I will be 'smarmy' and just say what I'm sure others are thinking - if you need two seperate sharers to afford to run your horse, you can't afford a horse. Especially when you can't afford to pay the extra livery cost if one day can't be covered by sharer.
 
Do you have contracts? If not, now is the time to sit down and arrange them!
Don't muck around switching weeks. I'd sort out who is happy to pay for the additional day and set 3 days for one, 2for the other. Days don't change and they are responsible for him on that day. They can't come up and they sort cover. (you have to decide if you are happy with this or give a set list of people you are happy for them to arrange cover with.)
Get it in writing so everyone knows where they stand :)
 
DecemberBlossom said:
I will be 'smarmy' and just say what I'm sure others are thinking - if you need two seperate sharers to afford to run your horse, you can't afford a horse. Especially when you can't afford to pay the extra livery cost if one day can't be covered by sharer.
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its nothing to do with costs. its to do with the fact that im now at uni and dont have lots of spare time like i used to, thank you very much.
 
PandorasJar said:
Do you have contracts? If not, now is the time to sit down and arrange them!
Don't muck around switching weeks. I'd sort out who is happy to pay for the additional day and set 3 days for one, 2for the other. Days don't change and they are responsible for him on that day. They can't come up and they sort cover. (you have to decide if you are happy with this or give a set list of people you are happy for them to arrange cover with.)
Get it in writing so everyone knows where they stand :)
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yeah thats a good idea, thank you for some constructive advice! will have a sit and do this on my next day off and try get everyone together
 
How far in advance do you give her warning what days she has? Maybe she's making a point that you are messing her around a little for someone else?
Also be prepared for one or both of your sharers to read this...
 
weesophz said:
very fair point. but im short on cash just now and dont want to have to shovel out more for someone else to do it. the point of the sharers is that they are responsible for my horse they days i cant do him
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Excuse me, I was responding to your previous post. you really shouldn't post for advice and then get your back up at the responses, I will make a note not to respond to our posts in future.
 
Batgirl said:
Excuse me, I was responding to your previous post. you really shouldn't post for advice and then get your back up at the responses, I will make a note not to respond to our posts in future.
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i didnt see your previous reply i apologize. i said im short on cash just now, this isnt a permanent problem, im strapped just now as ive been xmas shopping!
 
I'm with December blossom. If its your horse, ultimately responsibility lies with you. If you don't want that responsibility, sell & go & share someone else's on your two free days.
 
weesophz said:
its nothing to do with costs. its to do with the fact that im now at uni and dont have lots of spare time like i used to, thank you very much.
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Wow stroppy!! (not to mention contradicting your earlier post).

Are you this stroppy/sarcastic when making arrangements with your sharers.........

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
It's your horse, YOU are responsible for it. If you're time poor, you should be cash rich enough to afford to cover the days you can't make instead if relying on a sharer for both financial and time help.

Obviously, that's just my opinion (as someone who has shared a fair few times) and if you choose to disagree fair enough ;)
 
piebaldsparkle said:
Wow stroppy!! (not to mention contradicting your earlier post).

Are you this stroppy/sarcastic when making arrangements with your sharers.........

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
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no ive had a tough week as it is and this is the last straw im afraid. i had a friends funeral on monday, im now having problems with my OH now my sharer is taking the mick. i was looking for some advice and people just seem to think that selling my horse is an option, what if i was going about tell all of you to share your horses.
 
weesophz said:
no ive had a tough week as it is and this is the last straw im afraid. i had a friends funeral on monday, im now having problems with my OH now my sharer is taking the mick. i was looking for some advice and people just seem to think that selling my horse is an option, what if i was going about tell all of you to share your horses.
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You have had some good advice but have been very stroppy in response, it is not realy our problem (nor are we psychic) if ou have had a bad week:

1) talk to her
2) give her rules that she pays or arranges cover
3)allow her to continue and pay the extra days

What more are you after, tea and sympathy? Then post a tea and sympathy post not an advice post, you are just coming across as a rather petulant teenager at the moment.
 
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