Neighbour drove at me!

[Cherisheddust]

Hi all,
Out of lurkdom at last! Read loads of threads, so I already know you guys will be helpful here.
Long story cut short, yesterday, my hateful neighbour drove at me and the ned as I rode down a narrow, single track road. There's passing places and depending on where abouts along the road you are, either riders pull over or the cars do. Never, ever had a problem before. Road is used mainy by locals, so its kind of an understanding.
She slowed down when she saw the hi viz, but drove AT us when she saw it was me. So close, I rapped her window screen. She managed to stop then! Got out of her car and ranted, so enraged she was spitting!

Stunned, all I could say was 'why did you do that?' before she got out of the car for a second time and continued ranting.
Apparently I gave her no choice (?) and I thought I was better than anyone else...blah, blah.
Glad to get home in one piece, I called the Police who logged the incident but thought a visit would make matters worse. The PC advised me to make detailed notes of any other incidents...god forbid!
She actually had horses until last week, so she has a little understanding. Although to be honest, it was becoming a welfare issue and she swapped them for two goats!! This is the type of person I'm dealing with.
The witch hates me, the whole neighbourhood knows that, but no one knows why.
Today, whilst I was busy fencing the boundary to keep rabbits out, Mr & Mrs Neighbour where muttering in my direction as usual, when he states loudly 'she's really pushing her luck now'. Am I being soft to be concerned for our safety?
Help, what should I do? Your views are appreciated.

 

[spaniel]

Do you have a big bloke handy? Id go round there and ask her what her problem is with you. It might clear the air.....on the other hand.......

 

[Fizzimyst]

Thats awful!

I'm not the best person to give advice since I'm really firey

 

[PapaFrita]

Sounds like a complete nutter to me!! I think you're right to keep a diary of all loony-incidents. I think the angry muttering is trying to scare you which is, of course, out of order. I'm a complete hot-head and would've strode over asking if she was threatening me as that is, of course against the law.

 

[Fizzimyst]

[ QUOTE ]
Sounds like a complete nutter to me!! I think you're right to keep a diary of all loony-incidents. I think the angry muttering is trying to scare you which is, of course, out of order. I'm a complete hot-head and would've strode over asking if she was threatening me as that is, of course against the law.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would have done more than just strode over lol

 

[PapaFrita]

Yeh... well, maybe I was understating things a bit...

 

[joeanne]

[ QUOTE ]
I would have done more than just strode over lol

[/ QUOTE ]

Yup im afraid i would have poked her in the eye with her own car aerial!

 

[blackmagic]

I had a neighbour once who hated me and my housemate but we never really knew why. He used to complain that we were making too much noise walking up the stairs, or putting the shopping away. He got nasty and damaged our visitors car and physically thretened us so we went to the police, the landlord, environmental health (as he had already complained to them about us!), basically anyone who would listen. We did try talking to the neighbour calmly but it was clear that he wouldn't do that so we kept our heads down.
They soon moved out, I don't know whether through choice or forcibly. I would definately advise keeping a log and not getting into any arguements; if you display model behaviour, they have no grounds to complain about you.

 

[MooMoo]

Wow, wtf is wrong with some people?!?!

 

[Fizzimyst]

[ QUOTE ]
Yeh... well, maybe I was understating things a bit...

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[Pearlsasinger]

How can a police visit make matters worse? If there is another incident report it and tell the police that you don't see how matters could get worse unless neighbours actually injure you. Insist that they visit your neighbour or failing that that they at least visit you to take a proper statement. If your neighbour sees the police are involved this should make them think twice. Years ago we reported an incident of careless driving which endangered us and the horses and the police followed it up, the driver was taken to court and given a fine. Your incident sounds at least as bad as that.

 

[_daisy_]

log it all down, dates, times you name it everything.

i was on a livery yard, where the owners had conflict with their neighbours. it turned out to be a nightmare and we ended up leaving.

all because of the YO's, the neighbours intentionally tried to run my 2 collie pups over, and then my mum (she couldnt hear the car coming up behind her as she had her hood up and it was raining!
the police were regularly called, it didnt make the slightest bit of difference to her or her husband.
We had numerous incidents with the horses, the last when she threw herself into a rage right in my path (luckily i was leading my horse to the field) she approached me throwing her arms around, well my horse reared up and I flew into full rage and told her what I thought. that ended that! she never tried anything again!
Think they didnt really appreciate my dad going up to them and telling them that if they tried to run my mum over again it would be the last thing theyd ever do! and hes such a kind, calm guy normally.

 

[Cherisheddust]

Thanks all, you're so quick...better sharpen up on the typing skills if I'm to take part in H&H!

Odd thing is, I'm usually the fiery one, I can't believe I've allowed them to effect me. How weak. There's a lot of history behind this.

They are converting a barn and have had over 20 up held complaints, mainly concerning planning that they just ignore and numerous others to the environment agency etc. We've made three of those, speaking to them before each one...discharging foul water into our pond was a good one! They believe, and won't be told otherwise, that we have made ALL the complaints.

I do have a big bloke

but he works away half the year, bless him. There was a husband to husband stand off in the summer, after they spead rumous about domestic violence in our home. So untrue. Not a pretty sight it has to be said.

But you know how it is...I worry about the horses.

 

[SNORKEY]

Just make sure you do make a note about every incident and time it happened, and you can install cctv if she gets any worse, it must be horrible having to live next to someone like that, good luck.

 

[itsme123]

sadly, when you get people like this, they actually ENJOY the police attention it brings. We have a neighbour who is a complete fruit cake, threatened us, our children (to their faces) and made our lives a complete misery. We called the police, but this guy actually used to CRY when the police went round and put on this big act saying it was US doing it to him. So bad the police believed him!

In the end he pushed it too far and only stopped when it was made clear he'd gone too far (I shan't go into detail but suffice to say he turned out to be a total coward when push came to shove

.

The police soon learnt though, because when he stopped picking on us he moved onto reporting his own family...

he currently has the police round there three times a week at least, and enjoys every moment of it (because it gets him attention)

as far as I;m aware the police are now prosecuting him for wasting police time (he also called out fire bridage 5 times and an ambulance numerous other times, and claimed it was neighbours/ his daughter picking on him.


I'm afraid the only thing these people take notice of is being TOLD what to do.

I'm also afraid that in these cases the police are rarely any use whatsoever.

 

[neddynesbitt]

A very similar thing happened to my daughter last year. The car driver had 5 mins before driven at our YO and her daughter and sprayed their horses with gravel by wheel spinning, he then proceeded further up the track (it is a bridleway through forestry commision land which leads to hes brothers house further down the track).

He then drove AT a husband and wife out hacking, he hit the husbands horse, so hard that he stoved the wing in and tore the wing mirror off!! The horse bolted which left the poor wife in the firing line, the driver got out and hurled abuse at her. The husband then appeared back having regained control, it nearly came to blows but the husband refrained himself for the sake of the two horses and his wife who were very upset.

After a few insults, the driver backed down and apologised.

He then got back into his car and proceeded further up the track where he came upon my daughter riding her young horse.

Again, he drove at her and the car brushed my daughters leg all up the side of the car...he didn't stop!!!

The husband and wife witnessed it and we all rang the police. They were very good and came immediately.

Sadly, the next day I got a call from the police asking for MY insurance details as the driver was claiming that my daughter damaged his car

I refused and said it was his own doing and anyway, it was the other horse who was hit that had done most of the damage. I was warned it is an offence to withold details...I said "well take me to court then but you are NOT having my details".

To cut a very long story short, Sussex Police decided that no action could be taken as there were no independant witnesses!!

I am still really angry about it but the one consolation is that he had to pay for the damage to his car himself

 

[Cherisheddust]

God, do I sound unkind to say what a relief to find it's not just me with a NFH?
Apologies, I haven't got the hang of the 'quote' button yet....but geez there's some weird devils out there! Some interesting points, thank you.

Attention seeking does appear to be the stimulus behind this latest onslaught. The decision to ignore them appeared to work at first, but now its worse. Maybe the local PC was already aware of them, he seemed to know who I was talking about.

Of course she would threaten the horse, because she knows how I feel about my boys. It would cause a reaction, perhaps she was a little disappointed in my lack of anger? Umm.

...cherish stalks off to stick pins in a doll.....

Oh, something that may make you smile. When we were just on speaking terms, her mother asked if I would look at her horse that couldn't put it's foot down. Popped over, saw a non weight bearing filthy cob. Me, bent over "Poor lad, hold his head please" both mother & daughter flung their arms around the horses head and held it in a headlock. Firm as hell, all you could see were the ears. The Gypsys really saw them coming!

 

[Cherisheddust]

Good god...what was that guy thinking?!

It makes my experience seem very tame.

It's what my husband fears will happen next. Being out of the Country he feels he can't be there to defend his 'family'.

 

[itsme123]

unfortunately it does tend to be the less intelligent of the human race who have nothing better to occupy their lives than cause trouble for others.
My NFH truly thinks he is a country gent.... despite the fact he scams benefits and has a chav for a girlfriend. In actual fact he truly is quite quite stupid. Speaking to him had to be done in simple terms, and in the end even the police said he was tripping himself up with his own lies.

Every dog has it's day, if you cause trouble to others it will come and smack you in the face when you least expect it (literally, in my NFH's case

) and when times get hard with these idiots it does well to remember that. Karma....

 

[Brandysnap]

Hi Cherish,

Forgive me if i've got it wrong, but sounds like you + your neighbour are both new to the village?

Your 3rd sentence refers to 'hateful neighbour', (so sends us all off on a particular footing), who speeded up when she saw your horse, when she was happy to stop for an anonymous one. It's obvious there's more behind it, which you haven't disclosed.

I was going to ask about what history lies behind it, but you beat me to it by saying about planning permission.

Now i see.

Oh why don't you all just go to the local pub (give them a bit of trade), chat + get to know the locals? It's not rocket science!! Go on, meet them there, get drunk, laugh together, problems all sorted.

Just do it!

 

[perfect11s]

If anyone drove at me or my horse on purpose They would soon find there car wasn't in a fit state to drive, .. Realy these disputes usely have 2 sides and sadly some people are selfish and think they are right , there intitled to act just as they please not have to make alowances for others or fit into an exsisting comunity, some are ignorant some are bullys,
Its helpfull to work out what your dealing with, If they are the ignorant type a chat and trying diplomacy, and trying to understand what is upseting them might work. If they are bullys a visit from some big guys with no necks, (rugby player type) may be the only answer...

 

[WishfulThinker]

Maybe get a hat cam, and wear it each time you ride out, that way you will have video evidence of her behavior towards you if she does it again.
But ditto to the CCTV! My dad used to have neighbors that complained about EVERYTHING! They complained that our putting up a fence blocked their view - which given that our garden is in front of theor house, and a hill WAS their view! The fence did not go higher than the brow on the hill when you look at it. Then they asked for a 200 year old tree to be removed in case it fell on their house - it was fully stable, very healthy and a tree man said in no danger of falling.
This was all cos we have a shared drive, not owned by any of the 4 houses at the end of it, but they wanted it tarred so that their shiny new 4x4's (barn conversions, all city dwellers that moved in) and such didnt get damaged, so they went ahead and got it done at a cost of 6k and wanted my dad to pay for a 4th of it, but the way it had been done meant that all the run off went into our stables so he said no, but he would give them what was left over from the cost of having to sort the problem they now caused.
He put up CCTV last year when the guy was being a real wanker, and funilly not heard anything since!

Neighbours!! You move to the country to get away from them!! But the follow you!!!!!!!

 

[Cherisheddust]

Morning all,

You're right of course Brandysnap. If I were reading this post from somebody else, I would think exactly the same thing. We're not new to the village but relatively new to the property. They're new to the village and rural life, although we moved into the properties around the same time. Initially, only the mother lived on site with a local lad and his girlfriend for company. Cups of tea and late night chats were common.

Mr & Mrs NFH joined the mother at a later date. Still relations were friendly but not 'cup of tea' stage. Mrs NFH chose not to mix with the locals, saying that she was a loner. Fair enough, we all have busy lives. Then the building started and all hell let loose. We weren't effected by them for a very long time. Complaints rained in and Mr and Mrs withdrew, refusing to speak to anyone. I won't bore you, but these guys have really pushed the envelope with the neighbours, planning and Parish Council.

We tried to speak to them before putting our 3 complaints in, as we felt there was still some mileage in our previous relationship...wrong!

Looking back, it started to go really wrong after they wanted to buy our paddock, we said no. Then, we had the ferret man in with two local gamekeepers to 'nudge the bunnies to furry heaven'. Mrs NFH called the wives of the gamekeepers crying and ranting. She even stood in front of the hedge flail.

We have tried, honestly. Things had quietened down considerably. But this latest driving at the horse is an escalation I really don't know how to handle.

 

[jrp204]

We have a chap who lives down the road from us who because he has bought a very expensive property he obviously has the right of way over everybody, horses, cars, tractors. He had a full on ranting go at my husband once when he was on the road with the tractor, complaining about the mud (there was none) saying he has to wash his truck everyday! Why? he was going to get our subsidies taken away, he frequently races past our daughter out riding when she has asked him to slow down. Best one though was when he had a go at the men who were planting potatoes, saying they shouldn't be on the road, working late etc. He blocked the single track road with his car as the field they wore working in was further up the road so the driver unhitched his 10t trailer of spuds and took the tractor into the nearer field and didn't come back for 1/2 an hour!!! I laughed so much, matey was steaming.

 

[siennamum]

You sound perfectly fair & reasonable, they sound like complete nutters. Really feel for you - be good if you could scare them before things escalate somehow, sounds like they need to be shocked into leaving you alone.

 

[spaniel]

Cherish I have to applaud you for your tolerance and for remaining calm under such difficult circumstances.

I dont suppose it would be much help but have you spoken to your solicitor about this. It does sound as though anything you try and do to smooth the relationship with your NFH is just going to inflame them more - but there may be something that can be done or said to get them to back off.

I feel for you I really do.

 

[Orangehorse]

Some Councils have mediation services when an independant third party gets both sides of the story and tries to find a solution. Since you are neighbours and presumably will be going on living next door, then trying to get on would be a better step.

Although I TOTALLY agree about noting dates, times and incidents and take photos if possible.

 

[dizzydonkeys]

I had a similar problem last year, and reported it!
Still have incident number now and police went to see the person involved, I was told that it is some act or other to do with boy racers i.e using a vehicle as a deadly weapon, two strikes in 12 months and you are out.
Basically you lose your licence get banned and have vehicle crushed, this is normally enforced on youngsters that hoon around car parks and generally cause trouble, but does apply in this instance as well.
Things have been much better since I reported it and wouldn't think twice about doing it again.

 

[hairycob]

Haven't read all the replies but from my experience I can appreciate how the Police could think a visit may make matters worse. We had problems with a neighbour & after many incidents finally called the Police. After their visit things really did get far worse. They "punished" us by complaining to the Police about made up stuff. Police can't do them for wasting police time unless they can prove the events didn't happen. There were also lots of anonymous allegations to the Police & to people like Social Services.
If things get really bad the Neighbours From Hell in Britain website has some useful tips. Write everything down, even if it seems really petty - it all adds up & can establish a pattern. If you think they are trying to get a reaction using MP3 players & sunglasses can help you avoid hearing/making eye contact. Good luck.

 

[fatpiggy]

Our neighbour was refused planning permission to convert his barn - blamed us for it and ran a 3 year hate campaign against us including printing hundreds of copies of a list of things we apparently were guilty of and handing them out to parents outside the school where my mum was a teacher. He did go ahead with the conversion, got caught and then blamed us for that too. Eventually he fell off a ladder and died of a head injury. a lonely bitter old man who had alienated his own family with his antics too. Sad.