Nervous about Lesson - any advice?

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TomH

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My wife is having a lesson tomorrow on her horse, they are both happy hackers.

She hasn't had a lesson for about 18 months and is really really nervous about it!

I'm not sure what I can say to her to make her feel better.

I know she will be fine, and the instructor is lovely, but she is worried she is going to feel like a rubbish rider.

Any tips or advice for her?
 
If she was a perfect rider she wouldn't need lessons - it's always good to have another persons input .... Even if she is rubbish ( which I am sure she is not ) the instructor will appreciate that that is her /his job to
Improve the picture...
 
If the instructor makes her feel like a rubbish rider s/he isn't doing the job properly. A good RI will always raise the confidence level of the pupil. I'm sure your wife will be fine and come away from the lesson absolutely buzzing and looking forward to the next one.
 
Pearlsasinger said:
If the instructor makes her feel like a rubbish rider s/he isn't doing the job properly. A good RI will always raise the confidence level of the pupil. I'm sure your wife will be fine and come away from the lesson absolutely buzzing and looking forward to the next one.
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^^^this^^^
 
All riders have trainers no matter how good you need eyes on the ground .
It might help your OH to think of what she wants from the lesson .
It's usual for a trainer to ask some questions at the beginning of the session especially if they have not taught the person before .
At that point your OH could say what she would like to work on .
It's a good way to prepare for a session to think this through .
 
Pearlsasinger said:
If the instructor makes her feel like a rubbish rider s/he isn't doing the job properly. A good RI will always raise the confidence level of the pupil. I'm sure your wife will be fine and come away from the lesson absolutely buzzing and looking forward to the next one.
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Ditto .....I always start every lesson feeling sick and when I get on it's as if I have never ridden before, but my lovely RI says one nice thing and we are away enjoying ourselves! Btw having a lesson with someone else helps me, less pressure, we compare notes afterwards and have a laugh about our ineptitude. I hope your wife has a really good lesson, it's a big brave step!
 
TomH said:
My wife is having a lesson tomorrow on her horse, they are both happy hackers.

She hasn't had a lesson for about 18 months and is really really nervous about it!

I'm not sure what I can say to her to make her feel better.

I know she will be fine, and the instructor is lovely, but she is worried she is going to feel like a rubbish rider.

Any tips or advice for her?
Click to expand...

I had a break from horses for about 30 years, and only returned to riding 6 months ago having lost over 7 stone to be able to do so. I too was a bit nervous about not having even sat on a horse for 30 years, and only wanted a happy hack - but I understand why they insisted on a 30 minute assessment/lesson first.

And after 10 minutes I had a grin from ear to ear as I relaxed and let memory and instinct take over. So what if some things have changed in 30 years? I still have a sticky bum, was jumping again on my second lesson, and am loving the confidence my RI gives me. Ad she recognises whether I'm having a good day and she can be blunt with me or when she needs to be more gentle.

So please, continue to reassure your wife. 18 months without a lesson is nothing - just remind her to relax and enjoy it. Good for her for having the good sense to book this lesson - we all learn every day we spend around horses.
 
Agree with the above but you could buy her some Bachs Rescue Remedy and get her to take a few drops before the lesson. Will help to deal with any last minute self doubt
 
My friend recently had her first proper lesson with an instructor in at least two years, if not more. She was terrified. When she first got on she was rigid as a board, looked like she about to be sick off the side. She walked and had a few little trots, but did lots of talking about what she wanted to do and how she could get there, confidence being the main thing. She was so nervous she couldn't even think about riding 'correctly' until she had managed to relax. By the end of the lesson she was telling the horse to 'stop messing about and trot on!' and she had a huge grin on her face. To some people what she did would be baby steps, but after bad experiences and a complete loss of confidence, it was a huge achievement for her, and now she can't wait to go again.

I'm sure your wife will enjoy the lesson, and afterwards she'll be wondering what on earth she was worried about!
 
If the instructor makes her feel like a rubbish rider s/he isn't doing the job properly. A good RI will always raise the confidence level of the pupil.
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Exactly. I am another happy hacker -frightened of lessons, teachers and being rubbish. Last year I had some lessons with a lovely instructor, who cured me of my fears by tackling all the things I had failed to do in past lessons. A very practical problem solver. I did as she told me and learned so much. She extolled the skills I had learned hacking, used them and built on them.

I'm sure your wife will be fine and come away from the lesson absolutely buzzing and looking forward to the next one.
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Sadly that is not always the case. One can never be sure, hence the nerves. I've just had some lessons with a very friendly instructor who thinks my riding rubbish and limited the tasks accordingly. I learned nothing. Pity, but there you go. There are plenty of good instructors out there and it is a question of finding the one who is right for a particular student and able to build on their skills.
I too think it important to have lessons but please encourage your wife to go on hacking her horse and enjoying hacking between lessons -the true measure of one's riding lies between oneself and the horse.
There was a TV science programme recently that showed how hard it was for people to observe what was going on around them when they were concentrating on a particular task. Humans cannot (it seems) divide their attention. And that is why I think some of us go to pieces in riding lessons - because the mere presence of an instructor whom we endeavour to please, means that our attention is diverted from the horse.
There are other riders for whom the opposite may be true. They rely on a teacher to direct every move and would be frightened to hack out in the open, on their own in charge of and schooling a horse.
 
I find it helps to be open with the instructor right at the start. If your wife is nervous encourage her to tell the instructor at the start, they should then tailor the lesson accordingly. When I had my first jumping lesson on my new horse I told my instructor I didn't want to jump high and that I was nervous. He set up a whole course of 6 - 12 inch jumps and let me jump my own courses, whilst giving helpful tips. Must have been incredibly boring for him but he never let it show and at the end of it my confidence had grown hugely. If I hadn't said anything he would probably have set up one jump at a higher level and put it up every time I jumped it, based on normal lessons. I really appreciated him adapting his teaching style to help with my problem at the time.
 
A good instructor is worth their weight in gold and should give your wife confidence in her riding I like to be pushed when riding but that's what I want & my instructor knows this they should know what your wife wants and shouldn't make her feel nervous or feel bad about her riding if they do I would look to find a different RI they are their to improve and understand what she wants and make it enjoyable for her.
 
I've just had my first lesson this evening after a break of four years from any lessons :) I loved it, the boy and I are very unfit but I think we both really enjoyed it though didn't do the full hour as instructor allowing us to build up sensibly. I love the confidence a good instructor gives you, I hate schooling on my own and avoid it like the plague but feel inspired again to practice now. Still can't have lessons very regularly due to finances but they will be a treat to myself when I can. I was a bit nervous but also looking forward to it as my cheeky pony benefits from what a lesson gives him too as he becomes more responsive and respectful more generally. I would say to tell your OH to go in with a very open mind and don't knock your own riding too hard. I was pleasantly surprised this evening at our efforts.
 
TomH said:
My wife is having a lesson tomorrow on her horse, they are both happy hackers.

She hasn't had a lesson for about 18 months and is really really nervous about it!

I'm not sure what I can say to her to make her feel better.

I know she will be fine, and the instructor is lovely, but she is worried she is going to feel like a rubbish rider.

Any tips or advice for her?
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Please tell us how she got on...I am on my way to my lesson feeling nervous, but know I will be glowing afterwards....I so hope your wife is the same. At this stage I am asking myself 'why?'....in a few hours I will know! Very, very good luck...btw be prepared to hear EVERY detail, perhaps she would like to tell us all about it?
 
Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement.

I have shown this thread to my wife and it has definitely helped her.

I will let you know how she gets on.
 
ooh good luck TomH's wife! :)

I agree about being totally open with the instructor at the beginning. Any decent instructor will recognise when someone wants to learn and will respond with encouragement. If your wife's instructor does not do this, don't be downhearted and find another instructor!

I absolutely LOVE having lessons - I am a terrible rider but I love the fact that I get three quarter's of an hour attention on me and my horse and that over time I build up to doing things I used to be scared to do. Hope your wife finds the same!
 
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