Nervous novice, scared of riding my horse

The way I see it OP is you either keep the mare, and get help with her (including some physical checks) if your SIL cannot give the right sort of help/encouragement/school her a bit for you then insist that you are able to get someone else in. It does sound like she could be sore/has gone a bit cold backed - I would see if she is better if you at least walk her round, if not lunge first. Do you do much groundwork/long reining with her?

Or if you aren't up for tackling the issue send her back, take a break from the yard and reassess the situation.
 
oh dear ---- people loan horses for a reason - either financially cos they cant afford them or usually cos they cant ride them and hope someone else can - you have a 12 month contract but still I would send it back - don't entertain trying to ride something that clearly has baggage - you will hurt yourself !!! if she wont have it back - tell her to come down and ride it - I bet she wont !!

Ditto this: IF as I understand it, the horse isn't yours, it is on loan, yes? then there's a very straightforward and easy answer.

Send it back!!

Its not your job to sort out someone else's problem horse, and you're by your own admission losing confidence fast - you've already been lucky not to seriously injure yourself.

Send horse back, and get yourself something that WILL give you your confidence back and which you CAN feel confident at riding.

Believe me its not worth persevering with a horse that you're basically scared of - the good thing about this is that because its on loan, you ARE able to send it back and move on.

It might help you to have a few sessions with a good instructor, on a different horse, to re-gain your confidence when all this is over.

And as others have said: do NOT beat yourself up about this! It sounds like this is quite a challenging horse, and you've done very well to deal with the situation as it is.

Now......... get your life, and your riding, back - send the horse back, get what you REALLY want, and move on.
 
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