Nervous rider, any advice would be much appreciated.

Perfect_Pirouette

Perfect_Pirouette

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Hi, well unfortunately after having a horse that bucked a lot and which generally became a bit of a nightmare, i stopped riding for a few years and only started riding again about a year ago. I am in a good position financially now and would LOVE to maybe consider buying another one of even loaning one. However, unfortunately i am STILL a very nervous rider and frustrate myself so much.
When i have lessons i am uptight and anxious throughout the lesson. The horses hardly ever play up, however the odd time they do put in a few bucks/bolt off i am a complete nervous wreck, i panic like mad and it really shakes me up. I NEVER used to be like this before i got my horse and would happily ride anything and not worry about the consequences.
I LOVE horses and love riding so much, i'm just very frustrated with myself because my nervousness is now unfortunately affecting my riding. I would love to be more confident and often wonder how people are? How do you manage to laugh and smile and not panic when a horse bucks/rears/ bolts off? If anyone has any advice whatsoever i really would be extremely grateful as i would not consider buying or loaning one until i am more confident.
 
I did the same, stopped riding after my horse was PTS and started again in May last year. I ride 2 horses, one is bombproof hacking and has given me so much confidence back and the other is really good in the school. I find if a wagon comes past on the road, I tense up, but her calmly walking on helps a lot. Use a neck strap! Makes me feel better and try riding with an Ipod too.
 
I would reccommend riding an absolute SLOWPOKE who you know is very very very unliklely to ever do anything to freak you out, rather than a horse who does it "hardly ever". Once you start getting bored, then you know you are relaxed enough to move up a gear.
Perhaps also try a different instructor - it doesnt sound that the current one is making you feel any more confident.
 
Welcome to the forum
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Try some lunge lessons on a really well behaved horse? I think that would help you relax and start enjoying it more and go out on lots of fun hacks. Ive lost my nerve for jumping after having a bad accident last year, it just takes time to over come these things.
 
Carry on with your riding and maybe look for a ploddy cob to buy? Something not too big, that isn't bothered by the tiniest little thing, and that is a real kick along ride. If you find one that you like and decide to buy then have lots of lessons on your new mount and build your confidence that way. I know it was sound like dropping yourself in at the deep end, but there's no point in worrying else you'll never build up any real confidence. You just need to find a horse you can genuinly trust and build up a brilliant bond with.
 
you sound so much like me I'm still a nervous ish rider.
After 13 years of not being in a saddle a friend loaned me her 14.2hh lazy paced cob and the last 2 years of riding him it has brought back enough confidence that 6 months ago I bought a 13.2hh mare.
My first hack out on her she reared and had me off but I got back on and to this day I try not to show her I'm nervous. I've always gone out with another horse on hacks, but tomorrow as everyone has deserted me, I'll be going out alone, I am really nervous about it, but I'm gonna show myself that I can do it and get over it. You have to think positive things all the time and not to think the what ifs.
Good luck in whatever you do.
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ETA sorry I forgot to say a BIG welcome to the madhouse
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i understand where you are coming from, as i can be a nervous rider on new/ different horses. try rescue remedy before you ride to relax you,or a glass of port!!!
if you can break the cycle of ride-nervous, then your confidence will return. also, i found having my own pony really helped, as i bonded with her, and knew what she was going to do before she did it!!! although was very nervous for the first month or so, but once we got there we did all that i wanted to.
also, is there any way you can ride the same horse, to give yourself some confidence on that particular horse.
opt for a ploddy type, to build your confidence and relax on.
 
Norfolk, i would love a cob actually, i used to ride an old school master who was a cob and he was an absolute sweetheart, so so gorgeous, really affectionate and NEVER put a foot wrong, would have put a small child on him and not worried. He died :-( Another Rusty would be great, unfortunately they're kinda hard to find, but im going to carry on with lessons until the summer and then hopefully will have more confidence by then and then spend AGES looking for the right horse i think, i dont care if it takes me 2 years, i wouldn't rush into it again, bad mistake i made with my last one!
 
Aww i'm sure you'll be fine Samstar, you're doing really well by refusing to show her you're nervous and to have got straight back on after she reared etc. Thats how i need to be, i guess what happens happens and i cant keep worrying, i have had loads of falls before and i have never been really seriously injured so maybe i should take that as a positive!
And i have actually considered having a drink before i ride lol or when i was doing my driving test the doctor gave me some diazipan to calm my nerves as i was so nervous, i still have some, maybe i should try taking some of that lol.
 
This time two years ago, I was about as nervous as it was possible to get!! I sold my horse and bought a chunky, steady, hairy pony and he has gradually helped me get my confidence back, I still have "wobbles" but the main thing is I trust my pony, his instinct is always to look after me.

You can and you will get your confidence back. It just takes time, and you need to go easy on yourself and not beat yourself up about feeling nervous - it happens to almost everyone at some point I think, and getting cross with yourself about it just makes you feel worse (I say this because I know how it feels). Give yourself big pats on the back for every little step in the right direction that you make - post about it on here and we'll all give you virtual pats on the back too
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def find a nice steady cob, even to have lessons on

I went from going XC, and jumping out hacking, and hacking along A roads to shaking before I rode. Now this week I have hacked out twice and 3 weeks ago I jumped a few fences. Horse refused - I usually would have got off but I turned her round and jumped it!
 
Is that him in your pics? He's gorgeous if so! Thanks, i'll try not to be as hard on myself, i guess it doesnt help that i ride in a group that consists of really confident riders, i do sometimes feel that they're rolling their eyes everytime a horse bucks and i panic or whatever which i guess doesn't help. I think if you really are a really confident rider it can be hard to empathise with nervous riders as they probably do just think 'so what' when something happens to them!
 
haha it took 5 attempts till I passed my driving test, the last 2 I had be on calmers. Just lucky we have quiet country lanes near us and I'm sure there will be alot of standing still as she naps badly. I love her to bits though, the odd shaped nag that she is
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You are right in not wanting to get a horse yet. IMO you should change your riding school as a school that puts you on anything that will buck, rear or bolt with you is not the school for nervous or learner riders. Go to an approved school and explain how you feel they should then put you on a horse that some would describe as a dope on a rope. From there you can start your building blocks and confidence. Good luck and welcome to the forum.
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Its all about taking baby steps and getting to know your horse. I returned to riding after a 10 year break and I was petrified! I took on a 17.3 loan horse who was a complete bad mannered bully who soon sapped me of any confidence I had - and that was even before I got on him!

Anyway, he went back and I now have Ellie, a 16.2 old girl who is fab
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I was initially scared of her after the other horse, but slowly we have built up a bond. I was scared of reaching under her to fasten her rugs in case she kicked me, scared to pick her feet out, in case she kicked me, scared to do almost anything, but I made myself do just one thing a day that I was scared of doing. It took a couple of weeks before I was confident doing up her rugs, but now I don't give it a passing thought. Same with her feet.

Riding went on a similar vein, and I am still getting there. I have ridden her out with company just once since I got her at the end of December, but have ridden a few times alone in what passes as a school here. I am slowly gaining in confidence, thanks to Ellie, who is a complete star!

I actually think that getting Ellie was better for my confidence that having lessons at a riding school. Through taking care of Ellie it has built up a bond and we got to know each other a lot quicker than if i just had an hour or two of lessons on a horse every week.

I have Ellie on permanent loan and when she retires after building my confidence enought to move onto something a bit more challenging, she will retire here with me.

I wish you luck with your search!
 
I am a world-leading expert on losing your nerve (on a horse/in a car/anywhere really). With the riding, it really is a case of finding a horse and teacher that boost your confidence. Once you click with the horse, you'll find your confidence flooding back. Test yourself by small degrees, pushing the boundaries a little each time. Maybe a new hack, a jumping lesson. Don't overdo it. Good luck!
 
I am a nervous rider and I suspect I always will be, I had a couple of nasty falls at my riding school, but I so desperately wanted my own horse that I got George. We have had some low moments, when I was scared to canter him or trot over a pole on the ground. But with help from knowledgable friends at my yard and a great instructor and taking baby steps I am now able to do a dressage comp without crying with fear beforehand, and even managed a 2ft jumping comp. I still quiver a bit hacking on my own, but I love my boy and having my own horse so much it is worth it. I would never ride anything I thoujght might buck/rear/bolt and I know I need an instructor that is sympathetic of my nervousness.

Good luck, hope you get on ok.
 
He is gorgeous!!!! Lucky you. Thank you to everyone for all your advice! This forum really is brilliant, wish i had access to it when i had my old horse, maybe some of the problems could have been avoided!
 
I agree with the others, the right horse is the key!!! My last horse bucked me off (on Christmas Eve, grrrrr) and broke my collar bone, the previous horse bucked me off (no fault of his own) and broke two of my ribs. I gave up horses for two years and was completely miserable and then I found Spyke. He is the most wonderful, kind horse and I knew it the minute I saw his picture. I was TERRIFIED of bucking (and shying, and reefing and everything else you can imagine) and Spyke, bless him, does do the occasional buck but the minute he feels my weight shift he stops so I am no longer terrified. I have had him two years and he has done wonders for my confidence. Here we are last weekend:
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I NEVER thought I would do anything as brave as this ever again but thanks to Spyke I am having a BALL again. So just keep looking until you find 'the one'. Good luck, you WILL get there.
 
Hi *waves* welcome to the forum - you won't have time for a horse now your on here!! Anyway for what its worth I agree with the other comments. Try rescue remedy before your lessons not diazepam! and look into a different RS/instructor as it doesn't sound like they are helping putting you on horses that buck and bolt in lessons. It might aslo be worth having a couple of private lessons to get you confidence back without the added worry/pressure of being in a group lesson. Good luck - let us know how you get on.
 
I just wanted to say you're not alone. Im a nervous rider. My last horse used to have huge bucks and it got to the point where I was so nervous of hacking him out in company, on his own he was an angel (well not quite). But anyway I sold him last year and am now on the lookout for a new one but I also need an instructor just to help me along a little bit. I also get nervous when jumping and I want to get back into that again. I ask myself when riding a really calm schoolmaster why Im so nervous its a hard habit to break and to get confident again but Im determined to find a safe horse I can have some fun on. I hope you do to.
 
Hi and welcome!

Here's another nervous rider, coming back after a break of more years than I care to remember!

I felt I needed to get my own horse to get my confidence back, and after a few false starts I got my Kelly. She's been off work having been diagnosed with navicular. I've had her for four weeks now and haven't ridden her yet (partly the weather, partly because I've been looking for a saddle for her and partly because I'm a wuss) but I've been using the time to get to know her and bond with her.

My first weekend was terrifying - it was like she was my first horse, and the responsibility was weighing down on me, but I take each day as it comes. Because she's all mine (well, I'm loaning her for a few months before I buy her) I can do whatever I feel like because I don't have anyone pushing me to do things I'm not ready for.

We're all different, but it's working for me! Good luck whatever you decide.
 
A used to be nervous rider here!

My horse had me off just before Christmas 07 and for some reason I was a complete nervous wreck.

So I went to an RS I trusted and had lessons on a lovely, bombproof cob, or is any horse bombproof
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This is the weirdo bit. During a lesson, I was doing balance work. No stirrups, no reins (doing the arm exercises to stop me from thinking too much about falling off!). There was a loud bang and the "bombproof" horse I was on spooked and bolted
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- hmmmm great timing with no stirrups or reins - but I didn't fall off! Admitedly I did hang onto the saddle with one hand and grabbed the knotted reins with the other. But it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I didn't panic, didn't tense up, gradually felt the horse coming back to me and slowed her down to a walk.

I certainly wasn't worried about any fast work after that
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I hope you feel better soon. Don't be too hard on yourself and don't push yourself too much. Do things in your time, but still allow someone you trust to slowly take you out of your comfort zone in baby steps.
 
I agree with all of the above - it really is about finding the right horse (and instructor).

I was fearless with my first horse because he was bombproof but I wasn't so lucky with my second horse. Within a few years my confidence was shot to pieces. I sold that horse and bought my current boy and thanks to him my confidence is flooding back.

There are good safe horses out there you just have to take your time and find the one that's right for you, whether it's to buy, loan or just have lessons on.
 
When I first got my horse I had a couple of nasty falls, one that left me with a damaged pelvis and one with a couple of broken ribs! As you can imagine this severely dented my confidence, and ability and i contemplated giving up my horse.

After much soul-searching and asking around, I found a really good instructor who had an old schoolmaster (he had been a junior int eventer) and I had loads of lessons on him. We went cross country schooling and jumping which is what I really wanted to do and the feeling was amazing as he was soooo safe and fab at dressage! After that I had loads of lessons on my horse with the same instructor and built up a really positive relationship! I still have the same horse 10 years later and i occasionally get the 'wobbles' but I now have the confidence to sort out the problems and get back on!

So, find a really good instructor that is good with nervous riders and one that has a really good schoolmaster. My instructor was not BHS qualified and was not from a riding school, but had a wealth of experience and understanding. So, ask around and possibly look beyond the riding schools. Try to have lots of fun and ride different horses once you have got your confidence back. Don't rush into buying a horse and if you get the 'wobbles', then think positive and try to imagine yourself doing the thing that is causing you worry. I really hope you get your confidence back and find the right instructor and horse -good luck!

Sue
 

Having your own horse to ride esp a confidence giver can make an amazing difference. I'm an experienced (will when I used to ride lol) but nervous/apprehensive rider but there's nothing i wouldn't do on my own horse.

I did everything I normally wouldn't normally beable to do - hacking for hours for example, coping with spooking, bombing around a mountain with no stirrups shouting "wooohoooo" like a prat, hacking in the dark, jumping etc. When you 'know' a horse and a good horse it helps a lot...put me on a horse i don't know and I have very little confidence
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