Nervous riders..?

TrasaM

TrasaM

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Even before I learnt to ride and during the first months learning I never suffered from any nervousness or anxiety about it. I've had a couple of 'ok, please can you get me off the horse now' moments but have been ok by the next time again. I've recently had a fall and am laid off until my collar bone mends but because of the nature if the fall (horse tripped) I don't think I'll have any problem getting back on. I hope.
So question(s) is/are.....
How do nervous people cope with riding.
What makes the most difference in overcoming your fear?
What is about riding a horse that that makes you go through What must in some cases be a form of torture in order to do it.
What is the scariest thing about horse riding?
:):):)
 
How do nervous people cope with riding. -

I read a post on her a few weeks/months back where someone shared some advise that their instructer had given them, something along the lines of - DEATH OR GLORY, RIDE LIKE A GLADIATOR"
My horse starting performing at a tractor yesterday and I shouted it outloud and marched her on :D


What makes the most difference in overcoming your fear?

The above, apparently!


What is about riding a horse that that makes you go through What must in some cases be a form of torture in order to do it.

Letting my mare gallop on open fields, she loves it so much though :o


What is the scariest thing about horse riding?

When my mare spooks or when someone drives at us at speed.
 
What an interesting post.

I had never been at all nervous, riding any type of horse. My motto used to be 'the crazier the better'! :D
Until lately, after a few nasty falls from my young horse, I completely lost my confidence.

My confidence is coming back slowly, and to be honest what makes me keep getting back on is my sheer love of the sport. It is all I have ever lived and breathed and is my sole passion. Sometimes, I will openly admit, it can be torture!! Not ideal I know.

For me what makes a difference is taking things slowly - do what you feel comfortable doing. Don't push yourself too much, don't overdo it if that makes sense. Only move on when you feel ready. For example, after a fall in the field, I would just lead my horse around the field on foot. Just so we were up there together. Then I moved on to hacking round it in walk with another horse etc. Now I am doing fast/fitness work in there 3 times a week on my own. It doesn't matter how long it takes.
Another thing that really helped me was finding a good trainer. One who fills you with confidence. Worth their weight in gold imo :)

As silly as it sounds, if I feel a panic attack coming on while I am aboard, I sing "Just keep swimming" from Finding Nemo :D works a treat.
 
Courage doesn't always roar.* Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.* ~Mary Anne Radmacher
 
and then sometimes courage is looking at yourself and admitting you are over horsed. It's grand to challenge yourself, but i think too many nerves affect a horse and it isn't fair on the horse. Nothing wrong with winning tiny, almost unnoticed little battles, until one day you look up and you are miles farther than you thought you were.
 
I read a post on her a few weeks/months back where someone shared some advise that their instructer had given them, something along the lines of - DEATH OR GLORY, RIDE LIKE A GLADIATOR"
My horse starting performing at a tractor yesterday and I shouted it outloud and marched her on
Click to expand...

That was my lovely, former (I moved area) instructor's advice. I'm so glad that it helped you too. :D
 
How do nervous people cope with riding?
Go back to basics and take things slowly, even if its just walking round the school for 10 minuets then get off, make sure you always end on a good note. when you find yourself tense/nervous wiggle your toes! sounds a bit silly but it means your concentrating on something else instead of what you're scared off!


What is the scariest thing about horse riding?
I dont find much scary anymore but when im riding my friends 18.2hh shire horse I try not to look down!!!
 
Death or glory, ride like a gladiator - brilliant. Will be chanting that next time I'm having a wobble.
Taking things slowly is important, I can be impatient at the best of times and used to get so frustrated that my nerves wouldn't disappear after 5, 10, 20 rides. But I started to be proud of small achievements and reminded myself that horses aren't trying to kill me.
As elsiecat said above, I'll put myself through near meltdown just to get to that long stretch where you can have a really good gallop.
If all else fails, breath and sing sing and sing some more. Relaxes you (eventually) and hopefully the horse.
 
How do nervous people cope with riding. - its what you enjoy then you suck it up and get on with it

what makes the most difference in over coming your fear. - for me and my jumping fear (bad experience with an instructor) it was finding someone to teach me that I trusted and that they would only put me on a horse (in a RS) that I could ride but would push me a little. I also found that building a bond with the I rode worked and just working over a height which I felt comfortable and occasionally just asking for the jumps to be put up on my own. I then felt like I'd personally achieved something :)

What's the scariest thing about horse riding. - that they are large unpredictable creatures that can lash out and have the ability to seriously hurt you.
I was reminded of this the other day when my loan horse refused to be caught and when I eventually got near his head he swung his bum towards me and kicked out. Luckily I jumped to the side but it could have hurt :( (yes I have learnt from this and now wear a hat to catch him!). Me and his owner think it could have been the thunder that he felt coming which made him act weirdly too, but better safe than sorry!
 
Paulag said:
Courage doesn't always roar.* Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.* ~Mary Anne Radmacher
Click to expand...

I love this. It's how I feel when I watch another pupil at the RS. She's so nervous but she keeps at it and always looks so relieved at the end of the lesson. I don't think she knows how brave she is.
 
Paulag said:
Courage doesn't always roar.* Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.* ~Mary Anne Radmacher
Click to expand...

I love that, I always remember something similar by John Wayne I think.

"Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway"
 
showpony said:
Have a look at my thread , I was badly injured and was along time out of the saddle!
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Yes I read your thread and really admire what you've achieved. My post was in part also motivated by my tumble but more so from knowing people who are so scared but still ride despite this. I'm now beginning to think they've just got a better sense of self preservation than me.
 
My instructor knows when I am getting stressed and distraction often helps, random comments etc which diverts from my nervousness . Also when I am jumping now a good few strides out I think of stuff I need to get in shops etc so my nervousness is diverted.
 
showpony said:
My instructor knows when I am getting stressed and distraction often helps, random comments etc which diverts from my nervousness . Also when I am jumping now a good few strides out I think of stuff I need to get in shops etc so my nervousness is diverted.
Click to expand...

Lol..that's a version of what I do if I'm trying not to cry..I do times tables and it always works.
 
I shall try to tread carefully with my comments but I'm afraid I tend to agree with paddi22. It really worries me sometimes that some people are encouraged to be brave and are clearly over horsed. A combination of a nervous rider and a highly strung, sensitive animal such as a horse is a dangerous situation almost every time they ride. There are rock steady horses who seem to have no adverse reaction to anything they encounter and these are generally suitable for the rider who struggles with nerves, but they are pretty boring. Moving to a slightly more aware mount is often rushed and as paddi22 says they pick up quickly on the riders insecurity and become unsettled, resulting in more worries from the rider and so the downward spiral begins. Often resulting in the rider either giving up or getting hurt. You need to be completely confident that you are in control in order for the horse to feel safe in the knowledge that you are. You will not get away with trying very hard to be brave, the horse will always know that it's not real. Some will not worry about it and behave well regardless, many will not.
Confidence and ability would develop so much quicker I think, if people resisted the desire to move on from the steady reliable mount to soon.
 
Competition :D

Sad I know, but it works.

Some years ago I decided (far too old) to do my BHS exams. I drove the instructors crazy. They would tell us to jump showjumps or cross country fences and if I wasn't riding a horse I liked I would just flatly refuse :o This attitude was completely cured when they had a students v working pupils showjumping competition. I jumped two strange horses round 4 different rounds, they were not going to beat us :D

Same with my nutty cob, get in a show ring and I forget to worry about having no brakes and little steering, just concentrate on not letting the judge see I have no control.
 
elsiecat said:
I read a post on her a few weeks/months back where someone shared some advise that their instructer had given them, something along the lines of - DEATH OR GLORY, RIDE LIKE A GLADIATOR"
My horse starting performing at a tractor yesterday and I shouted it outloud and marched her on :D
Click to expand...

That's about the size of it really!

I pretend I am Mary King...or I have to deliver urgent transplant organs!

I have a long story about losing confidence, and am firmly on the road to recovery. One of my instructors once said that riding is 90% blag. Believe, and your horse will too.

Oh, and PS, Cathy Sirett's confidence blog is enlightening:
http://effectivehorsemanship.wordpress.com/about/

Also..ribbons, I tend to agree with you. I was out on a hack the other day on a friend's sane and sensible mare..she was riding a more challenging type. We had a whole conversation about her mount's unpredictable spooks, which she sat calmly, but I said that I was very sure the spooks would have been rather more alarming (and bigger) if a less confident rider was aboard (ie me). I suppose it's like the chicken and the egg.
 
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ribbons said:
I shall try to tread carefully with my comments but I'm afraid I tend to agree with paddi22. It really worries me sometimes that some people are encouraged to be brave and are clearly over horsed. A combination of a nervous rider and a highly strung, sensitive animal such as a horse is a dangerous situation almost every time they ride. There are rock steady horses who seem to have no adverse reaction to anything they encounter and these are generally suitable for the rider who struggles with nerves, but they are pretty boring. Moving to a slightly more aware mount is often rushed and as paddi22 says they pick up quickly on the riders insecurity and become unsettled, resulting in more worries from the rider and so the downward spiral begins. Often resulting in the rider either giving up or getting hurt. You need to be completely confident that you are in control in order for the horse to feel safe in the knowledge that you are. You will not get away with trying very hard to be brave, the horse will always know that it's not real. Some will not worry about it and behave well regardless, many will not.
Confidence and ability would develop so much quicker I think, if people resisted the desire to move on from the steady reliable mount to soon.
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Yes this I've learned from the different horses I've ridden so far. They do pick up on the riders emotions and despite attempts at bravado they are not fooled. I suppose I don't quite understand why anyone would chose to do something which scares them so much. It's an interesting point you and paddi22 have raised about what effect this has on the horse and whether it's fair to inflict those type of negative emotions on them.
 
labruyere said:
Wimp or sensible?...

Other posters have touched on this topic

Hope this link helps to explain when to 'get off your own case'
and when to 'just get on with it'

:)

.
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There you go again summing everything up nicely! :)
So? Is it possible that some people ride because they actually want to feel scared. I seem to remember seeing a self help book about anxiety where you were encouraged to re label your emotions so instead of saying 'I am anxious' you learnt to say 'I am excited'. If the end result in terms of brain chemistry is the same, is the buzz we get from fear the same as the buzz we get from excitement?
 
The trouble is, if you have real confidence issues it can be an irrational fear that is stopping you - not actually based on anything real (although it doesn't matter how many times others tell you that, or you tell yourself). If you have had a fall, for instance, of course your fear is based on past experience. But if it was as a result of an accident or 'freak' occurrence, it is less likely to happen again - rather than if you are 'over horsed' (like I was) or the horse hates you! (like mine did! :p )

I found that (with my new horse) it was real little baby steps - in the school only at first, and I didn't let myself feel bad about just sitting there for 10 minutes then getting off. The support of a brilliant instructor and lovely friends, slowly, slowly we went a bit further each week and, although I am not near where I was before my 'accident', we are well on the way! Also, I have been soooo lucky with my lovely, solid (but such a baby!) cob and we took those baby steps together.

And when you ask why a 'nervous' rider keeps on with it - I think it is because when it goes well, there is no feeling like it :D
 
I'm a very novice rider, and generally a nervous person, planes, the underground, hospitals, crowds all leave me feeling very anxious, in fact I am on anti-anxiety medication.

I am learning to ride by hacking out and am lucky to have almost bomb proof horses and experienced riders to help me but there are times I am thinking "omg" whether it's the gypsy colts running along the fenceline, bull calves doing the same, harvesting, wind surfers, steep up or downhill tracks, canters that turn into impromptu gallops.. roads terrify me more than all those things combined... but somehow despite these little spikes of "omg" (KNOCK WOOD) I still manage to enjoy riding more than I ever thought I would, for me I think this comes from my faith in the horses, they are experienced with novice riders and also very familiar with all the hacking routes we go on.
 
I had no fear as a child, would fall off at a gallop and get straight back on. I started riding again last July at the age of 33 and I find I am terrified. Why do I put myself through this? I really do love horses, just being around them, I love doing stable chores and would prefer to pay just to groom and muck out rather than have a lesson but no one round here does that sort of thing, so I have to ride really, just to have a bit of horsey contact. I am not a good rider, I am quite poor really, no co-ordination, and I think being around very confident, horsey people made me nervous. Cantering makes me nervous. My instructor was very shouty, and I suppose she has to be, but being shouted at for half an hour a week wasn't fun for long. I now go hacking in Delamere Forest on the loveliest, ploddiest cob, he is two hands shorter than what I'm used to, and I just walk around the forest. There is no pressure from anyone to go any faster, and I am very happy. I feel my confidence coming back, and I think I will give trotting a try this week! Just knowing my limits has made me less nervous, and finding a nice understanding YO who is happy to let me enjoy myself, and a lovely cob who I trust. I still feel a bit anxious about mounting and dismounting though, I don't know why, but once I'm on the horse I'm fine.
 
Epona78 said:
My instructor was very shouty, and I suppose she has to be
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I lost my nerve for 12 years after a series of bad crashes. I got it back only because I found a gentle female riding instructor who did not shout - ever. Don't put yourself through a lesson with a person who shouts, it will not help at all if you are nervous. A sympathetic gentle person who pushes your envelope when you are ready will help you more. Now I'm back up to hunting pace so it can be done.
 
TrasaM said:
Yes this I've learned from the different horses I've ridden so far. They do pick up on the riders emotions and despite attempts at bravado they are not fooled. I suppose I don't quite understand why anyone would chose to do something which scares them so much. It's an interesting point you and paddi22 have raised about what effect this has on the horse and whether it's fair to inflict those type of negative emotions on them.
Click to expand...
I've often wondered why very nervous riders put themselves through it, and COMPLETELY agree that many, many people have the wrong horse, which is bad not only for them, but also for the poor misfortunate horse. I am in the process of trying to "save" a horse which has been through this; a very reactive, sensitive PRE which was ridden by a series of very novicey, unbalanced, grabby riders. He is terrified of the rider, his mouth, any slight movement in the saddle, and is totally spooked by everything. This is not his nature, which is calm and trusting; this has been caused by poor riding. I know his previous rider was terrified, but he has become so and may never be right because of it.
 
TrasaM, firstly dont knock yourself for being nervous, I see nerves as an in built safety system !! If you know what i mean !

My worry is being thrown off. Had 2 previous ones that did this.

To stop the nerves from beating me, i have:

1. A daughter who nags me until i get back on ( this really worked recently)
2. A horse i have had for years, who im just bringing back into work after having a foal, and she looks after me. So safe and reliable. She gets me back to wanting to do more than she can do, then i will be ready to move on .
3. A very good instructor, who knows just how hard to push.
4. A competitive nature, my daughter is now a much better rider than me, cant have that !!
5. I love horses, cant imagine life without them.

You can do it !!:D
 
Oh yes having faith and trust in your instructor is very important, I've been lucky there too, she helps me get past the occasional wobble.
 
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