Nervous riders. ...

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spacefaer

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Something I've been wondering about and recent threads have made me put fingers to keyboard.

This is a question asked totally in good faith and in the spirit of genuine enquiry.

All you nervous riders..... why do you do it?

If I was as worried by something as some of the posters seem to be, I wouldn't do it. I'd find something I actually enjoyed!
 
I enjoy riding ALOT. Its just for some reason I can't click with my older boy and its making me not enjoy it at all. Its too demanding and expensive a hobby to not love doing it which is why I have bitten the bullet and put the horse up for sale x
 
Probably because I still remember not being nervous...or because I enjoy riding and working with horses despite being nervous...or because I am too fecking stubborn to let being trampled put me off the only sport I am any use at!

I hope you are never broken by a horse, OP. I was, and it has taken some time for me to recover. Thankfully, my instructor has been nothing but supportive of me.

By broken, I mean serious physical injuries and longterm emotional damage - shaking with fear at the sight of a horse, etc. But now I can hop up and go again. I actually feel that working through that period of utter terror is what improved my riding and outlook on life in general.

What doesn't kill you, etc...
 
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Arizahn said:
Probably because I still remember not being nervous...or because I enjoy riding and working with horses despite being nervous...or because I am too fecking stubborn to let being trampled put me off the only sport I am any use at!

I hope you are never broken by a horse, OP. I was, and it has taken some time for me to recover. Thankfully, my instructor has been nothing but supportive of me.
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I'm not casting aspersions - I'm genuinely interested. I have been broken by horses - you don't spend 40 years with them without some degree of pain - and I've owned and ridden ones I've shouldn't. As an instructor, I am always supportive of any worries/fears my clients might have. I'm actually asking with a view to understanding and improving my training.

My question, which you began to answer, was why continue to do something which consistently isn't fun?

Lots of things make me nervous - riding pillion on a motorbike, any ride on a theme park, speaking in public - and I don't do them - in fact I actively avoid them.....!
 
spacefaer said:
Something I've been wondering about and recent threads have made me put fingers to keyboard.

This is a question asked totally in good faith and in the spirit of genuine enquiry.

All you nervous riders..... why do you do it?

If I was as worried by something as some of the posters seem to be, I wouldn't do it. I'd find something I actually enjoyed!
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I've wondered the same. No disrespect from my end either; I'll find it interesting to hear the responses.
 
Well, a lot of us who become nervous end up that way because we own a horse! You can feel all the fear and pain and feel no less love for the horse or horses in general... And by owning a horse you don't want to get rid of, you assume you'll be able to ride it again. Also no one wants to admit defeat, especially something like riding which is really a big part of who you are. Horse ownership or general 'horseyness' is a lifestyle not just a hobby. We know that the more you do it, the more you'll get used to it again. If I quit every time I got scared by things, and believe me that happens a lot, well I wouldn't end up doing a whole lot ;-)

I had an accident and broke my arm, not that bad as horse accidents go but as I am a sensitive soul I was very emotionally affected by it. That was ten months ago and I've just taken it slowly with hacks in company and not pushing things, I am starting to feel a bit more confident now, it all comes with time and repetition of riding within my comfort zone which expands gradually.
 
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I have to agree with other poster on thread about we didn't always be nervous. For me to get my confidence back is a good lesson on life, if I gave up, I'd spend the rest of my life grieving my dream...I will not fail, it may take me time, but the only way I'mgiving up is...well I'm not, lol...I'm determined, if I don't succeed, you'll either see me at ninety quivering at the side of a horse, or injured or both...it is my dream and I will give it my best. If I gave it in, I'd be giving up on my lad, and on myself...all these tears,sweat, toil, anxiety, they'd be for nothing. So, thats why I do it...and I think like this too, I've had four c sections all awake, I'm not that cowardly, I'd say that was pretty brave...x
 
I worked with hunters as a young un. I gave up working with them because I needed a better paid job. I made a conscious decision t have nothing to do with horses till I could buy my own.fast forward 25 years off I went to an infamous dodgy dealer and bought a dodgy horse.said horse develope a liking for dislodging me and I found this much more scary in my forties than in my teens. I became a nervous wreck. I carried on with him because im a stubborn cow and I did nt want to loose face.i have had him five years now and he is the type of horse you can leave for weeks and then take out for a spin round the block no problem.conquering my nerves and sorting the job out learnt me a lot and now I have the horse I allways wanted.
 
I still do it because i love to ride, but after having surgery i think it makes nerves worse, im trying very hard at the min to overcome my nerves as riding is what i love to do, also the right horse helps, we all without admitting it proberly over horse ourselves. x
 
I had an accident cantering a share horse out hacking and ever since ive been nervous of cantering in groups hacking. If I do it regularly with people and horses I trust I start to enjoy it but my brain builds it up to a big thing when ive not done it for a while.

And im also nervous in new situations until I know how she will generally react.

I keep going cos I love it. And im happy hacking in just walk and trot. And I just gradually push my boundaries and push them much more in the arena which gives me more confidence in mt ability - my mare span and cantered off down the road hacking solo the other week, because a squirrel ran along the fence. My reaction once we'd stopped was hilarity and got her past and kept going whereas 2 years ago id probably have got off, cried and struggled to hack solo again!
 
spacefaer said:
Something I've been wondering about and recent threads have made me put fingers to keyboard.

This is a question asked totally in good faith and in the spirit of genuine enquiry.

All you nervous riders..... why do you do it?

If I was as worried by something as some of the posters seem to be, I wouldn't do it. I'd find something I actually enjoyed!
Click to expand...

Why? Because I remember the good rides (many of them) and am trying to conquer a fear that has arisen partially from knowing that as an older rider, I no longer bounce when I fall off, I break! The other cause is pyschological. You build the fear up in your own mind when in reality it is not that bad. You are more aware of the risks when you are older and the consequences if things go wrong.
You therefore put off riding and a vicious circle begins. The circle needs to be broken and most of us are sensible enough to realise this but it doesn't stop us from being nervous. Unfortunately there seems to be a distinct lack of horses which are confidence givers.
 
I would class myself as a nervous rider although I am sure there are those that know me that would be surprised!! I use to call myself a happy hacker that was too scared to hack, which was crazy but I was lucky I had a really good friend that took me out and built my confidence up and then I really was a happy hacker, When I moved yards due to changing area I had to suck it up there was no one at the yard that cantered out on hacks so if I wanted to canter I had to go out alone which I had never done. But we started hacking alone and cantering whilst out so I was delighted. Now I have moved yards again and now I have the chance to over come a fear of riding in open fields, which I have had many a horse bolt with me in, and this will give me the chance to conquer this fear and then fingers crossed there will be no stopping me.

I love to ride I love the feeling of freedom, I love to be out with my horse and my dog with my music blaring. I might be nervous but at least I try and embrace the nerves rather than run away and hide from something I love to do.
 
After 3 falls last year (aged 34 they were my first adult falls!). The first I accepted- horse was new and "out of the field" but it set me back months with a knee injury. Next I smashed my face up and needed it stitched back up by a plastic surgeon.
At this point I decided I could no longer ride anything feisty so got an older more trusted horse who one day randomly bronced seriously on a busy road. This one caused the least injury- a very sore back and banged head but it took my enjoyment of riding and trust of horses away pretty much. I ride my lovely old horse when he's sound but that's it.
It really annoys me as I work on a yard and definitely get a bit left out by not being a rider but I can't do it anymore.
I'm cross with myself I can't just crack on as I'm capable of riding other horses but there is always that doubt in the back of my mind.
I do enjoy riding when I do it. I used to get on anything within reason, if someone knew the horse and how it would behave I'd ride it!
Maybe it's also people I lost confidence with come to think of it?!
 
I have never been the bravest rider and am definately not now.Had one horse who was misold to me (and yes he was) and he frightened me to death.Found really good instructor and she came horse shopping with me.I gave her carte blanche on my behalf to refuse anything she thought was unsuitable.She did this a couple of times then we found my little welsh D.I was still very nervou for a while but he is the perfect horse for me and I love riding him.I think people become nervous because of different reasons.I also think that the general level of teaching is very poor in this country.A lot of people like me come from non horsey backgrounds and haven't got anyone really sensible to advise them re suitability and they end up on the wrong horse for them and then they get really frightened for very real reasons.Sometimes, like me, they can end up with post traumatic stress for a while.Would you drive a car on the road with dodgy brakes and steering??? I don't think so.If you did would you be frightened??? Incidently there are a large number of instructors who will not ride their clients horses.Food for thought.
 
micramadam said:
Why? Because I remember the good rides (many of them) and am trying to conquer a fear that has arisen partially from knowing that as an older rider, I no longer bounce when I fall off, I break! The other cause is pyschological. You build the fear up in your own mind when in reality it is not that bad. You are more aware of the risks when you are older and the consequences if things go wrong.
You therefore put off riding and a vicious circle begins. The circle needs to be broken and most of us are sensible enough to realise this but it doesn't stop us from being nervous. Unfortunately there seems to be a distinct lack of horses which are confidence givers.
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^^this^^

I think most, if not all riders will have experienced what they call 'flow' that feeling where time seems to fly by, your happy as larry, everything clicks and all you can do is smile, it's an addictive feeling, even nervous riders experience it, who'd not want more of it?

I can hop on some horses and not feel a flutter of nerves but others can have me welling up with fear. I rode a horse whose been stood in a field for weeks bareback the other day, even a wee spook didn't make me feel nervous. For me the nerves come from never thinking I'm good enough, I automatically assume I can't manage a horse and the more I don't ride, the worse it gets. Once I know a horse well and I like it, I'm fine 80% of the time, it's just getting to that point that's difficult!
 
Because I remember the times before my accident when I was a fearless rider and know that if I persevere I can get back to being that rider.

Just over a week ago I was a nervous wreck about riding my new boy (for no reason other than what I'd built up in my mind!) yet fast forward to this week and I don't feel nervous at all and am working on getting our canter transitions right and have the biggest grin on my face whenever I'm with him :)

This alone is enough to tell me it's worth putting the effort in as if that's the difference a week makes imagine where I'll be in a year.
 
Nervous or frightened people also bungee jump and speak in public every single day. Just because your nerves stop you doing things I fail to understand why you can't imagine that other people won't act the way you do. Other people often choose to face their fears. That's how you get over them!
 
I would class myself as a nervous rider. Not for general schooling but I'm very nervous jumping / hacking. I lost my confidence on my old pony and that fear is still very much there. I have a very, very quiet safe boy now (suitable as a 1st pony despite owning ponies all my life) and although I am still nervous and still feel really frightened when faced with a 50cm jump, the feeling of achievement and the self confidence that I get from achieving that jump is indescribable! I am still on a high from jumping a small course on Saturday.... in canter and only holding onto my neckstrap once! Our achievements and conquering our fears are no less real whether it's jumping a x pole, hacking out alone or going round Badminton, it's all relative and all worthwhile!
 
I broke myself very badly it look five years of surgery it get it fixed to the best it can be .
I never was afraid to get on I rode between my surgerys even if it was only for a couple of weeks before the next one.
I am however more cautious now I have a friend who starts the horses at the hounds and does test piloting .
Getting jumping was a struggle again but I have that cracked now I just need to crack going to shows I will never complete as I used to but thats the next thing
It's helped me to be very analytical I asses and work hard on my position all the time ,for me that's the key in confidence being confident in my postion .
I used to help a lady learn who was terrified I could not understand why she rode we did make big strides forward but default her postion was fear it's very difficult to overcome this.
 
I am a nervous rider at times. I can not let go of being bolted with for about 5 miles on road, up and down dale. My emotional memory will not let that day go. The horse and I both survived, we caused a small crash at a junction and other than the horse losing all its shoes, cutting its chest and legs superficially and becoming tucked up afterwards, we weren't hurt. The thing is, I spent every second of that 5 mile gallop thinking that I was going to die, I was saying it to myself over and over. I kept thinking that I should ditch her but the verges were passing in a bur and then it was just all road again.

That deep rooted fear comes back every now and again, it doesn't take me back to that day on that horse, but it takes me back to that feeling of fear. I can't hack Olive on a snaffle because she is strong and if we are cantering it will take her a good 8 strides to even recognise that I am at the end of the rein or asking her to slow. I don't like it because it reminds me of that day. That's why I hack her on a lower ring, she listens immediately with a very light touch and it saves my sanity and builds my confidence. I haven't galloped since then, but I am determined that I will do it.

I hate cantering down hill because of it, even just a slight incline - the mad gallop was in some very hilly countryside and it brings it all back, but I am getting better with that. So neither of us were really hurt, but I sustained lasting damage that I don't think will ever go away.

Incidentally the accident that has left me with permanent, daily back pain doesn't haunt me whatsoever. I just wish I had trusted my instincts and not ridden him in that way when someone else pushed me to do so. I knew he was going to blow.

I love riding, sometimes it scares the bejesus out of me, but most days it doesn't.
 
I'm scared of meeting new people, terrified of heights, really claustrophobic and nervous of spiders and snakes. However I still meet new people every day through work, and I still go to parties, I fly in aeroplanes and climb stairs, I climb under my bed to clear it out, and inmy last job I had to deal with stray snakes and spiders as part of my job. I'm far from brave, even when I'm going through a confident patch with horses, but I'm a determined ****** who really enjoys it when it goes well, and gets a rush from achieving something I'm scared of. I'm never going to jump huge or ride in a rodeo but I will keep riding even when I am scared. Plus every time I lose confidence, I build it up again, so it's just perseverance!!
 
Unlike some of the others, I cannot say I was once a confident rider but lost it….I will own up to having always been a little nervous.

However, that is my personality in a lot of things and the more I do, the less nervous I am. For example, if I jump every week I am far more confident. I think it is like all creatures, including our horses – some are generally more anxious or nervous ‘people’, whereas others have innate confidence (P.s - these brave ones would probably be the ones to get eaten first in the wild! lol :) )

For me, the feelings of nerves are far outweighed by the feeling of accomplishment and excitement when I ride!

Plus, I find that it is the thought of doing something, rather than actually doing it that brings on the nerves. Like the night before a show, I may be feeling very anxious about it, but as soon as I am at the yard in the morning and busy with my horse, the nerves disappear.
 
Dexydoodle said:
...And im also nervous in new situations until I know how she will generally react....
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This. I am a 'what if..?' worrier. And I hate the thought of losing control of a situation.

When I was younger, I had zero fear or nervousness. Only now that I'm older, have rent and bills to pay - I worry about having a bad fall and not being able to cover these. That's where my fear stems from, I feel.

Being with my horse and riding are very enjoyable. I love riding and I love my horse dearly. It's only certain situations that make me nervous. Like jumping. But that can easily be avoided until I pluck up the courage to give it another go.

I was nervous of pole-work with my horse up until a few months ago because I was worried about how he'd react. With the help of a very understanding instructor and some very supportive friends, we are making progress and my confidence is growing.
 
You can still enjoy something that makes you worried. Some actors get nervous before every performance, but still go on stage, (and the risk of injury is no where near that of riding). Does that mean they should not act?
I have aways been a nervous rider, a pony bolted with me the 5th time I rode I came off and broke my arm. But despite taking years to try canter I still enjoy riding. Trying to overcome the fear is part of the challenge. I have just had a fall after my young pony decided to try a first gallop, I came off and have a small fracture in pelvis so grounded for a while. I did ride two and a half miles home. But I want to ride again, and may need to go back a few steps, But I still want to ride, I can cope well with walk trot and canter. It is not the riding that makes me nervous it is the fear of falling off, and being on a bolting pony.
Yes as you get older you do not bounce as well as when younger. I am 62 and been away from riding a good few years but riding is an exercise I enjoy. it has helped me lose 3 stone in weight and improved my mobility, (well not at the moment, LOL). Just need to pluck up the courage when healed to get back on and enjoy it again.
 
I persevered with my old boy for 7 years . 90 % of the time he was a bombproof pottery big cob. 10 % of the time he was nuts. but because of the 90% this is how everyone including me viewed him. I felt if I couldnt ride him I couldnt ride anything. but the 10% was never out my head and I never completely trusted him. this ate away at my confidence over the years until I was too scared to ride anything but him not realizing he was the one draining it away because every time I got on a horse I could 'feel' the explosion happening. when 16.3 solid ID broncs you really know it. I stopped riding after he was put down due to arthritis ( in retrospect I think his broncing was probably pain and psychology related even though I had spent thousands having him checked out ) and I am now having some time out from riding but really enjoying looking after my daughters pony and doing in hand work with him.
 
I don't think that being nervous about something and enjoying it are mutually exclusive.

Sometimes I'm nervous, sometimes I'm not. I get far more feeling of achievement on days when I'm nervous. I didn't just get a stubborn cob over a 2' fence* - I got a stubborn cob *and myself* over that fence!

And never discount the power of a good adrenaline rush.


* I have far lower standards of achievement than most of you!
 
I think I posted exactly the same thread a year ago after watching someone I know riding and being so anxious throughout the lesson. She is still riding and still nervous but she keeps at it because she's determined to beat it. I do also ride out with someone who's nervous about cantering on hacks because she thinks the horse won't stop for her. I've tried to be understanding and reassure her but so far all we've managed is a 50 meter canter. It's a start though or at least I thought it was but I did notice this week that when asked to canter by another rider she had a list of reasons why she didn't think it was safe to do so. So we didn't . Maybe just as well as tense rider on cantering hose is probably not a good mix.

Maybe I'm just lucky as few things make me nervous and once I'm mounted I take the view that I will deal with whatever arises if it happens and don't spend any time worrying about the what ifs. So respect to those of you who conquer their nerves and get on and ride. It can't be easy.
 
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