Neurodivergence and horses..

My friends all tell me I have autism.

I just dont really understand why some things are expected or considered rude to not do.

Like saying goodbye. I dont say goodbye. I just go. It doesnt always go down well with people who dont know me 😅

I dont like physical touch. Only with my partner really. Even my mum feels slightly off, but okay. Lots of my partners friends and family expect to hug or do that kiss on each side thing. I actively avoid it and find it very, very uncomfortable if I somehow end up having to do it.

I can't cope with labels in clothing. All has to be cut out. I got this beautiful sequin top a few months back. Couldn't cope with the feeling of the sequins.

Hate 121 interactions. I have one friend who I dont mind being 121 with. Other than her and my partner and mum, I find 121 interactions really challenging. It isnt so bad if we have something in common; chatting about horses or dogs with someone for example, but its a struggle with 'normal' people who dont only want to discuss dogs/horses!
 
I've been diagnosed with autism since I was eleven, been around horses way before that. I'm quite terrible at peopling, such as at school, although you would rarely ever see that when I'm there. Having that much stimuli simply exhausts me and I need a lot of time to recover. Now I have a special scheme at school that only expects me to be at school three days per week (Monday, Wednesday, Friday). This is the first time that school feels reasonable to me. I've never struggled with the actual subjects, intelligence is not what I lack so I make up for it, I just cannot handle being around people full time.

The horses have helped me a lot. Both by the human interactions, the chance of talking to adults who are often a bit calmer than fellow youth, as well as understanding the horses. They're quite similar to humans. If it works on horses, the principle can probably be translated over and used on humans too. It does happen that people jokingly accuse me of magic due to my reading and understanding of them, however I say it is simply the constant observation of them whenever they're around, and finding patterns. They show more than they think, and you have to be a bit careful not to make them uncomfortable with that.

One of my special interests is colour genetics on horses. There's more for me to learn, but I have spent quite some time learning about it for a few years. I also find the biomechanics behind working with a horse to be really interesting, though I'm not sure if it's a special interest or not. Hence that I tend to have mostly young horses and projects, I do unfortunately tend to get quite bored with horses who are already 'done' and nothing to work on. Problems are fun. My highest schooled horse has started movements above the air, intentionally.
 
I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 90s. According to my mum I’ve been obsessed with horses since I could talk.

When my eldest was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD his psychiatrist recommended a book by Tony Atwood about (as was) Asperger’s and it he repeatedly mentioned how an obsession with horses is quite common in girls diagnosed with it.
 
Yes but found horses relatively late in life. I had a really hard time at school and early adulthood because of adhd, back then you just got passed off as lazy, daydreamer and scatterbrained.
Also have some autistic traits but have never been formally diagnosed.
I love dogs as I completely stop masking when I’m interacting with them and I somehow stop caring what other people around me are thinking of me, which is really liberating.
Horses are quite different, I find they either really want you to interact with them, or really aren’t too bothered but don’t mind you hanging about them, or just want you to sod off. So no hidden social stuff you have to figure out with people all the time!
But mainly for me it’s the magic feeling of bonding with such a big powerful animal.
When you watch them getting a bit rough with each other in the herd or throwing shapes during turnout it is quite humbling, yet they are gentle with their humans.
Most challenging thing is being at a busy yard all the time. I do like socialising to some extent but find groups and cliques really difficult, but on the other hand if it’s quieter and I’m with somebody I know and trust I have to be a bit careful not to infodump them!
 
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I suspect there is a link of some kind, I’m not diagnosed with anything, but I’m certainly not the norm when compared to others in my age group.

I wanted to do my EPQ on the link between neurodivergence and equestrian sport, but my teachers wouldn’t allow me to, under the assumption that there’s nothing to see. They’re still trying to discourage me from doing anything relating to equine psychology alongside human psychology, because, I quote, “they’re just horses, there’s nothing really to talk about. It would be a waste of your intellect”. So, they have completely set it in stone, I am now doing that. Not at all stubborn or coblike in my behaviour! 😂

I don’t particularly like the majority of people in my age range, I mostly find them infuriating. I prefer horses to people in most cases, they don’t really rely on verbal communication as much as people, so it’s not like I’m going to miss half the conversation thanks to my deafness. They are “safe” and provide me with routine, and something other than academia to hyperfocus on, which is very important to me (perhaps more so than I realise). Horses also put things in perspective a lot, which reduces my over the top reactions to pointlessly minor issues.

I also feel I can relate to cobs, I am known for being pig-headed and recklessly argumentative. I’m also known for hiding emotions and packing them away, until I metaphorically explode in quite spectacular fashion sometimes, which is something that my cob does if stress piles on a bit - there are signs, but they’re subtle. My cob helps me recognise these tendencies and, in understanding how to manage this behaviour in her, I’ve learned how to manage it in myself.

A small essay there, sorry! 😄

ETA: I say “safe” because I can’t really think of an alternative description for the idea.
 
No doubt. Undiagnosed but probably out there enough to be in another galaxy, with out-of-control ADHD and no doubt some ASD thrown in for good measure.

I wish I’d known even ten years ago what I know now about ADHD traits and all that. I think even awareness would have helped me see what were difficult and upsetting social situations with people with more clarity.

I’ve been obsessed with horses since forever. Since I could speak or express any vague opinion.
 
I'm not diagnosed with anything but I have my suspicions 😂 we've got hyperfixations (usually animal based), f-ing hate eye contact makes me feel sick, rehearsing social interactions, info dumping FOR SURE ty for the reminder HaplessHorse! I'm also pretty deaf! Probably unrelated but does make conversations an extra 15% harder. Used to have very poor emotional regulation but have gotten better. Everything needs to be The Process, and The Plan or I will have a little meltdown. Big big reader (apparently autistic girls love fantasy books about talking animals and dragons and Bingo!) so never really struggled academically which means you fall through every net basically. Have also usually had a Gregarious Friend pick me up and put me in their pocket at various times in my life so I have social interactions 😂 but I don't really struggle! I'm grand! Now I'm in my thirties and dgaf anymore anyway.
Korg said:
The horses have helped me a lot. Both by the human interactions, the chance of talking to adults who are often a bit calmer than fellow youth, as well as understanding the horses. They're quite similar to humans. If it works on horses, the principle can probably be translated over and used on humans too. It does happen that people jokingly accuse me of magic due to my reading and understanding of them, however I say it is simply the constant observation of them whenever they're around, and finding patterns. They show more than they think, and you have to be a bit careful not to make them uncomfortable with that.
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Yes yes yes. We are all just creatures! Once you start paying attention to trigger stacking, self soothing behaviours, body language etc in horses its so hard not to look at yourself and be like "oh yeah I'm over stimulated and trigger stacked, time for silent phone time to decompress" 😂
 
Such interesting responses, thank you for sharing.
For me, my daily life challenges are incessant overthinking, social anxiety, emotional dysregulation, memory loss, lack of focus, social skills not great.
I’ve always been obsessed with horses, from a very young age, but I develop other obsessions which will last a matter of weeks.
I also married someone with ND, and that presents challenges and we have some real similarities which I guess it was drew us to each other. But then some big differences, mainly in that he is OCD and I’m chaotic. And the emotional dysregulation we both share can lead to some interesting arguments!!
I find being around the horses really quietens my mind, and even things like mucking out can really ground me. I can lose track of time though and they make me late for everything!
I’m mostly riding alone, but I do find if I hack with a friend, I can follow their conversation much better without my mind wandering and I can stay fully present and engaged.

It’s not great though when I overthink every bad round though, but I think we all do that don’t we!
 
I strongly suspect that there is a link, for all sorts of reasons. And I’m sure there’s plenty of evidence for this. Equine therapy is well recognised as being beneficial for people struggling with the impact of their neurodivergence. If only it were available on the NHS.

The work of Temple Grandin is very interesting in this broad area. She is an American animal scientist who is also autistic. She describes very eloquently the connection that she has with the cows she works with in Oliver Sacks’ excellent book “An Anthropologist on Mars”.
 
AthenesOwl said:
I strongly suspect that there is a link, for all sorts of reasons. And I’m sure there’s plenty of evidence for this. Equine therapy is well recognised as being beneficial for people struggling with the impact of their neurodivergence. If only it were available on the NHS.
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I did a day at the sanctuary I used to volunteer for with Autism NI and it was eye opening! We all got along very nicely 😂
 
Nothing much to add but didn’t want to read and run - I’m probably adhd but no hope of a diagnosis round here for years. I don’t ride anymore but would love to hang out with some horses, grooming etc but don’t want to be doing with horsey women!! No offence 😆 …. Not you obviously, I don’t mean you!
 
Burnerbee said:
don’t want to be doing with horsey women!! No offence 😆 …. Not you obviously, I don’t mean you!
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The horsey women without weird brain???? Oh no. No thank you. Dreadful bunch 😂

There is a confounding factor here too that nobody uses bloody forums anymore!!!! So being here to read this post in the first place should be a diagnostic criteria
 
smolmaus said:
The horsey women without weird brain???? Oh no. No thank you. Dreadful bunch 😂

There is a confounding factor here too that nobody uses bloody forums anymore!!!! So being here to read this post in the first place should be a diagnostic criteria
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These forums really are great for a neurodivergent brain too, probably the more normal ones as well. No blinkning lights, noises, other annoying distractions. They're simply great.
 
Not sure if I’m mildly on the spectrum or just socially inept!
I like that with horses there are no social niceties, no little white lies, no saying one thing but meaning another and no undercurrents in what is said.
Being direct and to the point is not seen as rude by horses. No, I don’t want to ask you about your weekend before I get to the point of my e-mail!
 
Korg said:
These forums really are great for a neurodivergent brain too, probably the more normal ones as well. No blinkning lights, noises, other annoying distractions. They're simply great.
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This is interesting! I agree. Hence why I posted on here about it as I would love to find a forum for adults with ND (mine is dyspraxia I think more than ADHD, my son got diagnosed and it was like a lightbulb moment for me) but I can’t find one. Only FB pages where you can’t be anonymous…and what if someone you know is on there too !!!

It can be really lonely when everyone else around you seems to be normal and you are the odd one.
 
I have never thought I was but according to my son, who is diagnosed, I most definitely am!☺️ I have a sneaking suspicion he may be right but I don't tend to overthink it, as an old person it is pretty immaterial now but it just amused me slightly how quickly family who obviously knows me IRL agreed with him!😅

It has struck me in recent years that we do seem to have an above average number of ND people in the horse world. Not sure if that is an accurate assumption or if it is, why that might be.
 
Mrs. Jingle said:
It has struck me in recent years that we do seem to have an above average number of ND people in the horse world. Not sure if that is an accurate assumption or if it is, why that might be.
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Why would you spend an extra mortgage payment and 90% of your free time caring for overgrown rabbits with suicidal tendencies if you didn't have a wire connected up wonky 😂

I do know some Non-ND people who are "into" horses, and it's a small sample size but the drive and the "why" seems to be different. They are happy enough to dip in and out, the riding is the fun part, they can take or leave the rest of it. Very strange!! But realistically, even being on a helpful livery yard just having the horse, not doing any "fun stuff" takes up 2-3 hours of my day every day. Why would you choose this hobby unless there was something ticking away that made just being around a pony worth all the extra work, over going for a run or cycling or knitting or whatever? People have other, much easier and cheaper hobbies. Before I got Sadie I was spending 6-8 hours every Sunday mucking out at the sanctuary for free, a job you struggle to find people willing to accept money for! If I just enjoyed it I could find other things to enjoy. It must fill a hole somewhere.

There are maybe hobbies that fill a hole for ND men as well, that are more socially accepted as "masculine". Lifting weights has the same process, routine, daily commitment etc. Maybe cycling? The ones who arrange their whole lives around it. Marathon runners and Ironman events. They're maybe similar in that it's individual, gets you out of your head, you need to have a process and a plan, and you can very easily get fanatical about it and let it take over your life. All of those are "gendered" in that they aren't (or haven't been, historically) as welcoming or safe for women as for men so I suppose we can't know what the gender balance would be in a perfect world. I do think there is something special about horses too, specifically, but I'm just having thoughts. Avoiding sending an email I don't want to send 😂
 
Jellymoon said:
This is interesting! I agree. Hence why I posted on here about it as I would love to find a forum for adults with ND (mine is dyspraxia I think more than ADHD, my son got diagnosed and it was like a lightbulb moment for me) but I can’t find one. Only FB pages where you can’t be anonymous…and what if someone you know is on there too !!!

It can be really lonely when everyone else around you seems to be normal and you are the odd one.
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Most of the fb groups you can definitely post anon
 
Long suspected and officially diagnosed autistic earlier this year. I'm not very 'peopley' and can find it a struggle to interact at the yard, especially when I'm all talked out from work, but always have the energy to talk to my animal friends 😊 People probably think I come across as rude or ignorant but I'm just socially awkward I swear 😂
 
Diagnosed ADHD and Autistic here. Obsessed with ponies since I knew what one was. Love the poster that says it’s a hallmark of ND people. Like a lot of diagnosed ND I question the diagnosis on a daily basis and wonder if I’m just a bit useless.

I will say I am experiencing what I’ve discovered is autistic burnout, and sadly even ponies no longer give me much joy. Of course I persevere regardless and ensure they are cared for. But it would be lovely to feel the joy and obsession and excitement again. I know I’m so lucky to have such wonderful, beautiful and healthy animals.

I also find that the only two groups of people I’m comfortable with are NDs and horsey people. So if it’s true they are (mostly) one and the same, that would make sense.

Would be cool to find an ND horsey group online to chat with. Definitely down if anyone makes one.
 
Jellymoon said:
This is interesting! I agree. Hence why I posted on here about it as I would love to find a forum for adults with ND (mine is dyspraxia I think more than ADHD, my son got diagnosed and it was like a lightbulb moment for me) but I can’t find one. Only FB pages where you can’t be anonymous…and what if someone you know is on there too !!!

It can be really lonely when everyone else around you seems to be normal and you are the odd one.
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Might not be what you’re looking for, but Reddit has a lot of neurodiverse groups, adhd, autism, Asperger’s (I appreciate the contention with the term, but that’s what it’s called on there). They are generally very welcoming and easy going.
 
JBM said:
I have everything (ADHD, autism and dyslexia) so I made sure I had a horse for each one 👌🏻
Have been obsessed with horses since I could walk
Maybe before
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I love that, a horse for every possible divergence on any given day! 😅 Interesting you also have dyslexia, so has my ND son, I wonder if that is also a common occurrence.
 
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