Neurodivergence and horses..

Mrs. Jingle said:
I love that, a horse for every possible divergence on any given day! šŸ˜… Interesting you also have dyslexia, so has my ND son, I wonder if that is also a common occurrence.
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Thatā€™s the excuse anyway šŸ˜‚
No idea! I got diagnosed with dyslexia very easily when I was a kid the other two only this year, ages later
I would imagine probably common just as brains think differently? But Iā€™m no doctor
 
That was a similar time frame for him too @JBM, the dyslexia at school and the ND as an adult. Do you know your IQ, obviously don't expect you to divulge publicly but he is also one of those officially assessed very high IQ people, but sometimes to me he seems very short on everyday common sense. Not that I would ever tell him that! šŸ˜€
 
Mrs. Jingle said:
That was a similar time frame for him too @JBM, the dyslexia at school and the ND as an adult. Do you know your IQ, obviously don't expect you to divulge publicly but he is also one of those officially assessed very high IQ people, but sometimes to me he seems very short on everyday common sense. Not that I would ever tell him that! šŸ˜€
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This is from my assessment
They gave me two numbers IMG_9132.jpeg
I donā€™t really know how to describe myself I think my common sense is decent but my emotions can be a bit flighty among other things but the whole assessment is like 10 pages so we wonā€™t go through everything šŸ˜‚
 
I will say I didnā€™t not realise how absolutely HORRIBLE my working memory was until that test which bloody baffles me because I always remembered things well for tests but can I repeat back what someone just said to me? Apparently NOT
 
Iam thick as plank if you try and explain how a car engine works, but sharpen up a bit better in other mental gymnastics.ā˜ŗļø

It does all fascinate me though my particular interest is the IQ side of things. For several years I was a paid up member of MENSA, I was encouraged by one of my brothers who also has a very high IQ.

But I grew out of the fascination with it all until my son had his IQ assessment, it came out two points higher than mine, to say he gloated was an understatement! šŸ˜… Its odd though especially as I do suspect I probably do have some degree of ND, again like dyslexia that you and my son have I wonder does a higher IQ, like again, you also have appear related to ND.
 
Luckily my OH loves cars cuz I would be the same!
I never really heard about IQ much until my assessments it was never really mentioned in the schools I went to which is odd
I think thereā€™s a lot of stuff that isnā€™t included in IQ assessments which also make people super smart

Well theyā€™re all genetic (I believe) so I would say thereā€™s a strong chance you have same as your son :)
I for the life of me canā€™t figure out which of my parents have autism cuz Iā€™m the only one who seems to have issues with textures, noises and physical contact/ eye contact
 
Iā€™m not officially diagnosed with anything but have had several people over the years straight up ask me if Iā€™m autistic.

Whenever I have done any of the free online tools it always comes back as being highly likely but Iā€™ve never really taken it any further as last I looked the waiting list for anything official was about 10 years long in my area.

I dislike crowds, multiple loud, conflicting noises (eg being in a club or trying to keep track of one conversation when there are multiple other conversations going on at similar volume), low level ā€œannoyingā€ noises that other people can block out (eg being near a generator/ water pump or similar), donā€™t do eye contact, physical contact from like 99% of people, unexpected phone conversations (& if I have to call THEM then forget it)

I definitely hyper focus (main subjects of interest include horses specifically feet / even more specifically whatever the latest reason for a vet bill was, feline stress and behaviour, dog behaviour to a lesser extent and teaā€¦ definitely not ā€œnormalā€ to own approx 100 varieties of it!) and become very emotionally disregulated if I encounter an issue I canā€™t solve right this second now (usually because of a delay of some kind) or if something changes that I havenā€™t been given the illusion of control over!

I also have issues with food texture (mainly raw veg (salad & tomatoes being the worst), fruit not at perfect ripeness and things with an overly slimy, squidgy texture) & clothing feel / fit.

Also mostly utterly uninterested in trying to understand people & their day to day little dramas.

Possibly have some ADHD traits too in terms of permanently running late, canā€™t simply wash something, dry it and put it back in wardrobe as one smooth sequence without floordrobe or chairdrobe or extended time sat in clean wash basket getting involved, also utterly incapable of having a proper filing system for life admin or for doing it in a normal, orderly manner without being threatened about it (& getting greatly offended by the threats & taking an extra few weeks to do the thing out of defiance) but then spending too long around hyperactive types of ADHD diagnosed people drives me up the wall (as in their loudness and chaoticness makes me physically flinch) šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

Can keep a lid on the vast majority of this kind of stuff at work but think that does make me even less arsed about trying to keep on top of it outside work (also certain organisational things, usually around teams, excessive form filling & admin are still a bin fire!)
 
Do ā€˜labelsā€™ make life better?
These are all interesting points and certainly thereā€™s a lot of genetically bases stuff going on these days but l suspect if you looked at any relatively large groups of people doing whatever their main interest/hobby is you would find a lot of commonality.
 
Iā€™m interested in the autistic burnout
Babypony said:
Diagnosed ADHD and Autistic here. Obsessed with ponies since I knew what one was. Love the poster that says itā€™s a hallmark of ND people. Like a lot of diagnosed ND I question the diagnosis on a daily basis and wonder if Iā€™m just a bit useless.

I will say I am experiencing what Iā€™ve discovered is autistic burnout, and sadly even ponies no longer give me much joy. Of course I persevere regardless and ensure they are cared for. But it would be lovely to feel the joy and obsession and excitement again. I know Iā€™m so lucky to have such wonderful, beautiful and healthy animals.

I also find that the only two groups of people Iā€™m comfortable with are NDs and horsey people. So if itā€™s true they are (mostly) one and the same, that would make sense.

Would be cool to find an ND horsey group online to chat with. Definitely down if anyone makes one.
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im wondering this about myself ā€¦. Iā€™m on anti depressants but donā€™t help with the feeling just the insomnia.

I feel kind of like a robot , I go through the motions of the day shower , do the horses, work , do the horses then stare blankly at the tv and go to bed. I canā€™t seem to be sociable anymore or even bring myself to answer my phone or talk past 5 pm šŸ™ˆ.
 
gallopingby said:
Do ā€˜labelsā€™ make life better?
These are all interesting points and certainly thereā€™s a lot of genetically bases stuff going on these days but l suspect if you looked at any relatively large groups of people doing whatever their main interest/hobby is you would find a lot of commonality.
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I'd say for autism, and probably ADHD, it can be very useful to understand that yes, you get tired more easily than others and why that is. If you don't sort through the stimuli you get, like normal people (ie you have a weak RAS system), you will likely be affected. Constantly attempting to live like a neurotypical might be very harmful.

I recently learnt that neurotypicals apparently do not get tired because of the noises a car makes. I have no actual proof, this is what my biology teacher said. I am fascinated by the concept of being able not to put any energy into such noises.

It might not be very relevant for the aspect of horses, though. While horses can be useful for coping with difficulties, I can't say that I personally find autism to be a significant thing with me around them. Maybe that's the significant thing.
 
Iā€™m considering adhd meds so diagnosis is useful for that
Otherwise itā€™s just really good to know why the noise of the freezer drawers opening makes me want to curl up and die..and that Iā€™m not crazy for feeling such a way
 
I am not diagnosed but it has been suggested to me both for autism and adhd. I do know that, at school, they wanted to test me for dyslexia but mum thought it would label me so didn't want to. At school, I was constantly berated for being disorganised. My writing is terrible and my spelling atrocious. That made me sad as I really did try!

I find people-ing difficult in social situations but was good 1-1 teaching, or, in fact, teaching in a group as I was totally absorbed in the intricacies of what was happening and how to solve issues. I found equine, and later people's, progress fascinating.

Nothing I hate more than a noisy party with drunk people. Drunk people are random and have a sense of urgency about unimportant things and I can't feign interest. I also can't seem to hear/follow a conversation when there are other conversations, although my hearing is good. Places like busy shopping centres and airports are too electric with energy of people and actual electricity. It jangles my nerves and exhausts me through keeping it together. I really struggle with people in my space, especially uninvited touch.

I find it deeply unsettling if people break rules. I am a rule follower.

Obsessed by horses ever since at 18 months I was placed upon one in a park. I have wondered before if it is because horses have the 360 bombardment of stimuli, so we are from the same page.

After Mr Red died, I had a while alone then put myself on POF (dating website), first time ever on such a folly. I said on my profile that I was looking for someone with an obsession. I didn't care what that obsession was, but it had to be something that took up their mind completely. I also said I wanted someone who was passionate about work, not just going to do a daily grind for the Ā£. I guess, if you know what you want, you know LOL.

I had a good career in the Police, followed by 10 years working as a TA in a primary school, mainly with autism/adhd. I seemed to 'get' the kids LOL.

I wouldn't seek a diagnosis now but did online ones for autism/adhd. I found the questions a bit blah, as in, well, wouldn't everyone say this? But then, I scored very highly for both, so maybe everyone would not answer the same. Can't see the point of an actual diagnosis though, as my mind has served me well over the years. Happy relationship, good career, lovely house, two horses... The online ones have maybe made me feel less guilty at the issue of not liking parties etc, and have maybe also made me a little self congratulatory for making progress despite difficulties. I no longer need to work, so don't need anything for any adjustments, and I managed in very challenging environments with no adjustment anyway.

The whole autism spectrum does interest me, as in, for some people it really does seem to be a 'superpower' with focus, energy and drive, whereas with others it is a real disability, with non verbal issues, continence, inability to possibly ever be independent. It hardly seems right to label the condition the same in those two instances. I am lucky to have energy, drive and focus.

When having counselling for the death of Mr Red, I asked the counsellor about autism. She said that trauma, especially childhood trauma, could mimic the symptoms. So, who knows?

The more widely talked about whole neurodiversity subject has helped me to place myself in the world and understand that we are all different and that is OK.
 
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gallopingby said:
Do ā€˜labelsā€™ make life better?
These are all interesting points and certainly thereā€™s a lot of genetically bases stuff going on these days but l suspect if you looked at any relatively large groups of people doing whatever their main interest/hobby is you would find a lot of commonality.
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yes, knowing why makes things infinitely better, it also means you can use targetted help not just think it's your fault/you're just not trying hard enough at the therapy when it isn't working and you still want to die. I also suspect I wouldn't have the access to the meds I now do without the diagnosis.
 
ester said:
yes, knowing why makes things infinitely better, it also means you can use targetted help not just think it's your fault/you're just not trying hard enough at the therapy when it isn't working and you still want to die. I also suspect I wouldn't have the access to the meds I now do without the diagnosis.
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Exactly this. I can now understand why I was the way I was as a child now I have the ADHD diagnosis and why I never felt like I fitted in at school. It doesnā€™t change anything, no but it means I understand myself better. I was diagnosed with anxiety but I think this was secondary to the ADHD.
 
spotty_pony2 said:
Exactly this. I can now understand why I was the way I was as a child now I have the ADHD diagnosis and why I never felt like I fitted in at school. It doesnā€™t change anything, no but it means I understand myself better. I was diagnosed with anxiety but I think this was secondary to the ADHD.
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Iā€™d spent 8/9 years with mental health teams with diagnoses that didnā€™t really seem to fit before my ASD dx, which was done completely on a hunch, a very left field suggestion to me (so Iā€™d never have self dx) and because the alternate pathway at the time was on hold.
 
Mrs. Jingle said:
That was a similar time frame for him too @JBM, the dyslexia at school and the ND as an adult. Do you know your IQ, obviously don't expect you to divulge publicly but he is also one of those officially assessed very high IQ people, but sometimes to me he seems very short on everyday common sense. Not that I would ever tell him that! šŸ˜€
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My mother never fails to berate me for my lack of common sense. I make stupid mistakes, and forget stupid things (such as where I live, my entire school bag, my phone, Iā€™ve been known to forget to drink water, you name it, I will have forgotten it at some point! šŸ¤£). I score very highly in exams, particularly subjects I enjoy, so Iā€™m hoping Iā€™m not just a total dimwit!
 
gallopingby said:
Do ā€˜labelsā€™ make life better?
These are all interesting points and certainly thereā€™s a lot of genetically bases stuff going on these days but l suspect if you looked at any relatively large groups of people doing whatever their main interest/hobby is you would find a lot of commonality.
Click to expand...

I think it's very personal. I have profound dyscalculia which is considered a form of nurodivergent and a specific learning condition.

I haven't had a diagnosis until recently (I got one for work related reasons) and I'm late 30's now. The label means very little to me - it's literally changed nothing and I'm struggling to think of a positive I've gained from having the formal diagnosis - I've never felt I need the label on a personal level either. I've always been open about my struggles with maths but at the end of the day, I'm still profoundly dyscalculic.

I was never going to be a mathmatician, work for NASA or become an accountant and once I'd left school, I don't really need to use maths day to day. I'm open about the fact maths is hard for me so the maths I do need to do I get friends and family to help with - they all know the score and I know my weaknesses, so I think I rub along largely fine in life. I wouldn't go to a meeting with a financial adviser alone and I'm never going to be the one that works out the bill at the end of a meal regardless of whether I have a label or not šŸ¤£

I hope it would have made a difference if I was diagnosed at school with it now - as that was the most difficult time for me. I failed maths epically many, many times.

But, there's far more to life than numbers, isn't there? I mean, for a start, I'm the undisputed family champion of Scrabble for about the last decade ;) And that's the real life win.
 
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