Never mind pedantic, just plain hilarious

Tzara44 said:
Another one - my husband says "rock whiler" instead of Rottweiler this also winds me up!
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Mine may once have referred to a brindle whippet as a pringle whippet. He would insist it was intentional to wind me up, but he used that excuse for po far (faux pas) too.
 
Tzara44 said:
My brother in law says "pacific" instead of "specific" - it drives me nuts!!
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My OH does!!! I asked someone over the phone at work the other day if they could send something through the internal mail to "Eng Ops" (being short for Engineering Operations) and when it didn't turn up for a couple of days, chased it up. It turns out they'd tried sending it to "N jobs"
 
I used to work with someone who described herself as "a minefield of information", which was probably about right although she is a lovely person and I miss her. One of my favourites from the small ads is "bridle dresses" - if the OH and I ever get round to getting wed, that's what I'm going to have!
 
This one has been on here before, strangely on a thread which I started. It may bear repeating;

At West Wynch, on the A47 between King's Lynn and Swaffham, there used to be a collection of industrial sort of barns and things, which were let out as industrial units. Some of the entrances were on the road side, but some in a yard at the rear of the complex. In the early days, most had signs which were crudely written, and by hand. One of the business had an easel on the roadside advertising Bridal gowns, it said;

"Bridal gowns. Entrance at the rear". :eek:;) A couple of years ago, it was re-worded, and following on from their undoubted success, a smart new sign is now in place!!

Alec.
 
Years ago a Red Arrows pilot ejected into the sea as his plane had problems with its engine. My aunt was heard to say the pilot had in fact ejaculated....dads only comment was that his eyesight wasn't that good!!
 
Two classics come to mind:-

When Pernod for a popular drink (well, in my little group, that was back in the early 90s), my mum wanted to appear all hip and promptly ordered a P*rn* and Black. Nobody quite knew where to look....

Then there was a story I once heard of a very well-to-do lady of some considerable standing in local politics who hosted a dinner party around the time the Renault Clio first came out. Presumably, wanting to appear in-touch with the 'normal' people she promptly told the dinner guests how much she liked the new Renault Cli*...not once, but felt the need to continually refer back to the name several time during her conversation. Of course, no one could openly laugh but I gather there were quite a few who had to leave the room.....
 
missieh said:
When Pernod for a popular drink (well, in my little group, that was back in the early 90s), my mum wanted to appear all hip and promptly ordered a P*rn* and Black. Nobody quite knew where to look....
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Reminds me of a relative (same family as the Ford Sarah guy) who went into HMV to buy a CD as a birthday present. She meant to ask for "Come on Feel" by The Lemonheads. What she said to the young lad behind the counter was "Come on feel my melons" :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
A beauty from a local Indian takeaway menu:

Beast of chicken, wrapped in a nun.


I have had to give up reading menus online for places I'm supposed to be booking, if there are spelling mistakes it quite puts me off the place.
 
Alec Swan said:
This one has been on here before, strangely on a thread which I started. It may bear repeating;

At West Wynch, on the A47 between King's Lynn and Swaffham, there used to be a collection of industrial sort of barns and things, which were let out as industrial units. Some of the entrances were on the road side, but some in a yard at the rear of the complex. In the early days, most had signs which were crudely written, and by hand. One of the business had an easel on the roadside advertising Bridal gowns, it said;

"Bridal gowns. Entrance at the rear". :eek:;) A couple of years ago, it was re-worded, and following on from their undoubted success, a smart new sign is now in place!!

Alec.
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What is it about Norfolk? There used to be a bed shop in Norwich with the direction "Please use rear entrance". Always made me giggle.
 
fallenangel123 said:
I saw a dog advertised once that 'has been spade'! Poor dog, someone hit it with a shovel so it can't have pups anymore!
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The freeads are great for this sort of thing. In our area there seem to be a number of horses for sale who are snuffle mouthed. (I don't know what this is, but tend to give them a swerve!)

I have also seen a cafe offering smocked slamon. (Gave that a swerve too.)

Another one that cracks me up is a frightfully posh lady who frequently hosts 'high spotties.' (Say it quickly.)
 
A friend of mine, many years ago when she was young and naive, typed up a very long document about the new computers from Wang. She mis-heard the tape and replaced the 'g' with a 'k'!! :eek::eek:

It wasn't until her boss explained her mistake that she realised what she'd done. It was done on an 'old fashioned' typewriter, so she had to go through and correct it a couple of dozen times!
 
OMG think I'm about to wet myself!:D
Seriously though I work in an office with 27 other nationalities and most of the time their spelling and grammar is better than some of these on here. There have been the odd occasions however when I've spat my coffee all over the computer screen when reading an e-mail. Wish I'd kept them now. :p
 
One of my mums' specials - she was going for the word 'macho', but instead, out came 'poncho'.
So from then on any butch action guy on TV was very poncho. :D
 
We were taking mother in law out and passed several cows in field her comment look at all those bo***cks:eek: I couldnt see any :D
 
My OH's father is always referring to his 'prostrate' problem, rather than prostate, it always makes me smile.
A friend had treatment to help her quit smoking, involving needles in the ear lobe, or 'aqua-puncture' as she said.
I went out for a new years eve bash, and the menu said that to begin we would be served with champagne and 'canopies'. Lovely!
 
This was me... on driving into the firms car park I spotted that someone has put up an aerial on the portacabin , I said Oh look, theres been an erection on the maintenance
building !
 
My grandmother regularly used to rush around like a Blue House Fly.

My neighbour had her b*tch spaded! Ouch!

We had the Army cadets camping in our field and when they arrived they gave us a signed declaration which stated, amongst other things, that "We will not do no digging!"
 
CaveCanem said:
Oh I saw 'vegetable doors' for sale in the small ads once...and a pie balled colt...
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We saw an advert for a 'skew balled pony'... He was advertised as having a lot of 'quirks' and we wondered if his balls were part of the problem :D
 
Girl I worked with told me the 'thrush bearing had gone on her crutch' which was why she was late for work. Turned out the thrust bearing had gone on her clutch...

Another time she was talking to a friend whose wife was pregant 'Oh she's having a boy isn't she?' 'No' replied the friend. 'Well what's she having then?' And couldn't understand why I cracked up laughing.
 
my friend has a girl labrador, she's not been 'done' so when she's 'on' they put on a pair of old pants on her with a hole for her tail. Funniest moment ever, her dad lets the dog outside and notices that she's still got the pants on and starts shouting down the garden ''oi, come here you b*tch!! i haven't taken your knickers off yet''. :D i can only imagine what the neighbours must have been thinking :rolleyes:
 
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Just reading some dog classifieds, a bit worried that I found so many mistakes in such a short amount of time.

"Two pedigree girls one fawn/black and the other a black tri. Home bred Mum & Dad can be seen. Really cute and well associated. Excellent temperament. Ready to go from Saturday June 9th."

Sound nice, but with what are they associated?! :D

"want a rottweiler puppy young as can be. must have a stompy tail dont want a long tailed dog. txt me and will get bak to u asap"

*giggle giggle* stompy tail *giggle giggle*
 
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