Never mind pedantic, just plain hilarious

[trottingon]

Alma... If you say "high spotties" very quickly in a terribly posh voice you get what the rest of us would call "house parties"

 

[CorvusCorax]

Just saw an ad for a bitch for sale 'in heating' - in fairness the ad was from the Czech Republic....

Speaking of High Spotties - say 'Air Hair Lair!'

 

[mandyroberts]

I always giggle when people write 'I can't bare..' instead of 'bear'. They should keep their clothes on!

 

[Fidgety]

Years ago a Red Arrows pilot ejected into the sea as his plane had problems with its engine. My aunt was heard to say the pilot had in fact ejaculated....dads only comment was that his eyesight wasn't that good!!

<snort>. Reminds me of OH's gran who once boasted about her newly durexed ceiling.

 

[smokey]

My ex mum in law admired the original paraquat flooring in our hall, and told her friend that I had bought a lovely red vulva. It was in fact a large Swedish estate car!

 

[Wagtail]

Love this thread. My Mum is always getting things a bit muddled. The other day she said 'Now hold one horse!' Don't know if she meant to say 'Now hold on a minute,' or 'Hold your horses'.

 

[Milliepony]

My Mum was very pleased with the scrotums she ordered from a gardening catalogue...

The sedums looked lovely when they flowered though

 

[Penny Less]

Another gardening one, old chap was telling my mum about the lovely penises in the garden they were peonies!

 

[tonitot]

A friend on facebook recently posted a picture of some cows saying they are the new edditions to her family. I had to stop myself correcting her

 

[Maiko]

Our local restaurant currently has a specials board that offers us :

"Muscles cooked in a white wine source"

"Mediterranean Pawns"

and for dessert, how about:

"Creme Brewley"

 

[Suelin]

I recall a lady telling me that her son didn't get overweight until he got to Purgatory! Another nearly choking moment!!

 

[ruth83]

My Grandma (who is sadly no longer with us), lived for many years in sheltered accomodation. At one point there were a number of problems with the contracters who looked after the gardens around the homes. At one point the privet behind Grandmas bedroom was overgrown to the point where it was threatening to come in through the window.

One week the gardeners arrived, when Grandma spotted them she headed out to one of the young gardeners and spouted 'young man, when are you coming to trim my bush?'.

 

[Mongoose11]

I was observing a lesson being taught by an interview candidate the other day...

She was teaching the design technology students about 'structures' and was asking them to differentiate between manmade and natural structures. She asked them to think of their own examples. The boy next to me put up his hand and said 'skeleton' she said 'pardon?' he said 'skeleton' again and she said 'Scrotum? Yes, your scrotum is indeed a natural structure'

I nearly died!