New horse... Am i just panicking... Please help!

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rose bud

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Hi,
I bought a tb x cob mare 6 wks ago and it has been anything but plain sailing!
For the first month she was kept at a private field but unfortunatly there were a few factors that meant this was unsuitable. There was no company, alpaca's that she was scared of and too much grass! All of which lead to a spooky, stressed mare that i was unable to do much with.
2 wks ago i moved her to a lovely livery yard where the yard owner has helped me bring her back into work (as she had practically had a month off) by lunging her everyday for the first week and then riding her. She was a bucking idiot on the lunge to start with but then completly settled and became really good. I rode her a few times in the school last week and she was perfect!
The problem is that she had the day off on sunday and when we came to ride her yesterday she was stupid again! She bucked with the yo and was really spooky with me - refusing to go in certain parts of the school.
I am just worried that she is not the horse for me as she is too tempremental and needs too much work. The yard owner says she will be better after a month of intensive work and not to worry, its just re schooling her. Please help!
 
It's really early on in your relationship so you both need time to work each other out and develop trust. I would invest in regular lessons so that you have support and advice for this. Groundwork exercises are really good too, especially if you are getting a bit nervous of her. If she is v spooky, as well as her still settling, have you taken a look at her feed too?

Obv you have the usual checks that (esp with a new horse) are well worth going through - did you have her vetted, did they mention anything that could cause discomfort? Have the saddler check her saddle and I would have the dentist out too. When we got both our girls they had a full MOT - what the owner tells you isn't necessarily true and both of them needed work doing. Much happier horses after and a much nicer start to what will hopefully be a long and happy time together.

Good luck!
 
I am going through the same thing with mine at the moment too, bought her at the end of june and its been a rollercoaster, I now have to lead mine in from the field with a bridle, lunge and a stick, she seems to be getting the message, I'm the boss not her! but I'm going to keep on trying because I think she will be nice in the end, I want her to love me but we seem to be going down the route of fighting over who is the alpha mare, but with constant requests to stand and walk on, she is starting to respect me as the alpha, I hope that down the line she will just want to be good for me, but with mares it is clearly moe complicated than my geldings, good luck!
 
I think there will always be a settling in period where they test out their new boundaries. It's only natural I guess, keep plugging away - they say mares are the best :)
 
If you think about it she's had two moves in 6 weeks, a new mum, 2 sets of new environments, a month off and now hard work again. Shes probably a little worried and trying it on to test her boundaries.
Your YO sounds like shes not too worried and seems from your post to be prepared to help you so take that help. Make sure when you're on the ground with her you ensure she knows who's boss (I don't mean clobbering her one!!) and gradually i'm sure it'll come together. Its very early days so unless she is scaring you to death then keep at it - they say Mares are more tricky but more rewarding in the end. I wouldn't know - i stick to easy to manipulate, food orientated geldings!!
 
Thankyou for the replys so far.., i think that maybe i'm expecting too much too soon from her, but it has been so hard! I had her vetted when i bought her and the only point that he picked up on is excessive wear on her insisor teeth. I think i will get her back and teeth checked to make sure. We are also having problems finding a bit to suit as she keeps getting her tongue over them, she has quite a large tongue and small mouth.
Its just so dissapointing (and ruining my confidence) as i thought we were getting there!
 
It does need time for them to settle down, and leadership from you so they know you are in charge and a "safe" person to be with. They have come from a different home into a new environment so they have got to find their place and find out who is boss. It is up to you to tell them that you are boss, and that doesn't mean be rough or unpleasant, but that you take the decisions and the horse fits in with that. So remember that the boss horse moves the other horse's feet, so mind she doesn't get you to move out of her way! She has to move out of your way and not get in your space. They are always testing you and every time you are handling your horse you are teaching it. Often mares can be more difficult than geldings, as in a herd situation there is always a "boss mare" who takes the decisions about when to move for water, food, etc. and some horses simply have more strength of character than others.

Check what she is being fed. So long as she has forage and maybe some chaff in a feed bowl don't feed her any hard feed yet.
 
mares arent easy at all - you would be wise to remember the saying you can ask a mare and tell a gelding. They are like us women - stroppy and objectionable when someone tries to make us do something we dont want to do.

Im all for asking for help when you need it but tbh you need to get the bond with your mare before introducing someone else to her.

as another poster as said she has had a lot of upheaval in the last few weeks and she needs time to adjust. Im also very surprised at the YO stating she needs a month intensive work and then she will be ok - this is not the right way to go about it - she needs to be treated gently and at a steady pace not all at once - you could find she will resent it and go the other way.

Mares arent for everyone - If you want something without excess emotional baggage and something you can boss around, then get a kind natured gelding.

I love my mares and they are very loyal - IF they like and bond with you.
 
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