New Horse Blues II

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BigRed

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I have now owned my new horse for 20 days. Her behaviour is not getting any better and I am getting more upset/disappointed about it.

My last two rides have been very scary. Last night we met a man walking a donkey and she completely flipped out. She whipped round and ran off up the road. I stopped her and tried to turn around and this resulted in a bucking fit and mini rears. There was nothing I could do to placate her. While I accept some horses find donkeys scary, I don't get the bucking/rearing thing. She finally settled, but we ended up walking back home, rather than continuing on our circuit. It scared the c**p out of me, to be honest.

She is no easier to handle in the box and still turns her bum on me. I feel so cheated, because I just wanted a straight forward easy to handle horse and she is turning into a nightmare. She is hard to brush/tie up/touch and tack up.

I have no one to hack out with and no school and I thought I had been careful to buy a horse who was sane and straightforward.

I just want to give up now.
 
Some horses do take time to settle - and yes, even my Mr Bombproof would object to a donkey.

Have you phoned the person you bought her off to have a chat? Are you on a yard where there is help at hand??


If it's any consolation my horse, who is very straightforward, took quite some time to settle when I first bought him. And is actually a nightmare to groom - he hates it. And i can't pull his mane, because he more than hates that.

We have to remember, that they are all individual feeling, thinking animals - who can be very sensative, especially after an environment change.
 
I keep my horses at home, so I have no one to help me. One of the disadvantages I guess. I have spoken to the vendor and of course she claims the horse is very straightforward and not a problem. About the only thing I can do without a problem is lead her to and from the field. Other than that, it is all difficult.
 
As AM says, they can take time to settle.

Do some ground work with her. Put a headcollar on and walk around the yard/school, making sure that she stops when you do, backs up when you ask her to, follows you as you turn.

Tiggy was life a giraffe on speed when I got her home. Scared the bejeezubs out of me. A few handling sessions and chilling out in her stable with her, getting her to move away from me rather than me walking around her, and she was much calmer and easier to handle :).

As to the donkey, some of the best schooled and most relaxed horses ever will flee from a donkey! Including the rearing and broncing. There's just something about donkeys....
 
Was she a private sale or from a dealer? If from a private sale I'm wondering if the old owner could come out and maybe give you some tips after seeing the two of you together?

It does take some horses longer than others to settle but it's not nice when the behaviour gets so extreme or dangerous.

The thing is right now it's all so new to her and she needs to feel safe with you. Which isn't an easy thing to instill in her when her behaviour is frightening and so the cycle goes on.

How about having one of the RA's out or similar if the old owners can't help you? Just a thought as they could help you on the day and give you things to work on for the future as well.
 
Did you hack her out on her own when you tried her? If you haven't got anyone to hack with you, is there a friend or family member who can walk out with you for a few short hacks? This will have the advantage that you can talk to them for a start which will help keep you relaxed, plus if you meet something scary then they can give her a lead, stop any traffic etc.
 
I did hack her on her own and I was assured that she was used to being hacked alone 99% of the time. My husband has been coming with me, on a bike or on foot. The last two times we were alone, and I had a nasty whip round and silliness and then last night a full blown toys out of the pram episode.
 
Might sound a bit weird, but was she kept with other horses at her previous home? I had this beautiful TB mare called Coco who was a complete doll, as long as she was paddocked and predominantly around other horses. If she wasnt, she would flip. We did manage to get her out of this habit, but this did take a lot of training.
 
I must say I do feel for you.... buying new horses hasn't been in the favour for me or my mum recently.... I bought a sportshorse and he was ok at first. but i was sold him I would say as almost a novice ride... however he wasn't schooled very well and he bolted with me showjumping at adington, which resulted in me hitting the deck quite badly =/ although it wasn't his fault (just a balance issue) I never trusted him again :( my mum then bought a cob a few weeks after that and this bolted down my yard and my ma shattered her pelvis.

luckily for us we have now bought a cob who's safe as anything however.... we also have a donkey at the yard next door and all 3 of mine hate it!

Being scared isn't fun though... a friend of mine had a warmblood that just turned pyscho when it went out... although she was told it hacked and hunted... I did have a go on it but was repeatedly reared and spun round with on a road (on a bridge :(

I do think though some horses just never settle to a yard... getting back to my mums accident.... we rang the previous owners, he had never bolted with them (so they say) and the dealer we sent him too loved him.... It does annoy me though that some people just lie about their horses..... i would say 98% of horses i have looked at haven't turned out to be what they make out when tyou see them
 
If she was fine when you hacked her out when you tried her, then it is just likely she is still unsettled in her new environment and on the new hacks. A lot of horses are very spooky to hack out alone for the first few weeks in a new home. I would try to only hack out with your husband accompanying you for now, and try and choose the least frightening routes to start. When you feel ready to go out alone again for the first time, try and choose a really short route with no obvious hazards, to increase the chances of you having a successful and confidence-building ride.

I'd also think about enlisting some help from something like a NLP practioner to give you methods of relaxing yourself and not focusing on the negatives, as the mare is bound to pick up on that and become more nervous.
 
Sorry Tracey, an RA is one of the Intelligent Horsemanship Recommended Associates. Might be worth having a look on the IH website to see if any are in your area.
 
Some horses just need time to settle, some are just not as great as the seller made them out to be, more often than not its a combination of both IMO! Either way you are unfortunately stuck with the situation for now.

Do you have transport? If not could you hire some? Meet up with another rider to hack around somewhere where you won't meet completely random unpredictable things, like a farm ride or forest, while you and your horse get to know each other. :)
 
I have found leading my horse in hand rather than riding her has helped me with my confidence and us to bond. We are both getting exercise, I have no pressure to ride but we are getting to know each other and to trust one another. I look forward to catching her up and taking her out rather than dreading it, and am now thinking I want to get back on her rather than worrying that one day I have to.
 
Where abouts are you based just wondering whether anyone on here may be close enough to pop over and give you a hand to get her going, sorry Ive no idea whether you are very experienced or not. I do agree that horses take a while to get settled and quite often initially seem to regress a bit and 20 days is not very long. I may be going against the majority a bit here, I had very similar issues with the mare I bought before I bought Che and I am in a similar situation to you, noone on hand to help. I persevered for about 3 months, all the time I kept in touch with the dealer I bought her from to let her know I was unhappy, she was most definitely not as described, napped, reared, bad tempered and moody, not your typical "family, first horse". I think the bottom line was that she and I just didnt get on, I wanted an affectionate easy happy hacker and she just wasnt. I sent her back after 3 months, lost 300 quid on her but she was making me thoroughly miserable, scared to death to get on her and not enjoying looking after her. What Im trying to say is that sometimes you have to admit you made a mistake and move on, horses are too expensive and dangerous to struggle on indefinitely. If it was me, I would try and get some help to see if she has minor issues which 2 people working together can get to grips with, set myself a target and a deadline and if she is not responding seriously consider whether I wanted to carry on. Not sure whether you bought privately or not, if it was a dealer make sure you register your dis satisfaction now. Good luck and stay safe.
 
Every horse I've ever had has taken weeks to settle.....

I recently lost a horse.....in the years I had him, he turned from a nrevous wreck into a go-anywhere lad.

Now I have my new horse, I am remembering just how bad Desi was when I got him...scared to ride him, spooking/spinning- crap to handle......but as time goes by and with consistent handling etc they improve and frankly so do you. I realised actually that on occasion I was making him worse- an unconfident horse needs a confident rider to encourage them along. So...I pretended I was confident- deep breaths, singing- short circular hacks that built up gradually. It did take time....some times I really didn't enjoy hacking him out at all.

I now have to go through all this again.....I am realiseing how long it took to get to a good place with Desi, so I am resigned to it taking as long with Azamour.

Little steps, deep breaths....don't rush it.

((((((hugs)))))


ps - if I had sold Desi, I would have said he
was good to hack out/handle/farrier etc etc...because he was -for me. No doubt he would have been a total git for his owners and they would have thought I was misleading them......
 
Where are you Tracey01?

When I got my horse - years ago he was a complete nightmare, it took months for him to settle, now he is the best horse ever and I can do anything with him, but it was with help from my friends that got us through, he was going to be sold or turned into a 'pony pie' :D many, many times!

I think maybe mares can be worse too - they can be clingy.

You need help - I think, good luck xx
 
Poor you.

It sounds like the horse is upset at moving to a new place, and is unsettled, and also that she is not gaining confidence from you - so its all escalating.

You really do need some help with this, or it will get dangerous. I think the horse is probably fine, you're both just feeling very nervous.

Are there any local riding instructors that could teach you in your field, or bring a horse over to hack out with you?

Could you put it at a livery yard for a couple of months so you have people to hack out with until you get used to each other and find your confidence?

Could you get a DIY livery at home, so there is company and someone to ride with?

I know these seem like expensive options, but you've got to be safe...x
 
ISHmad said:
Sorry Tracey, an RA is one of the Intelligent Horsemanship Recommended Associates. Might be worth having a look on the IH website to see if any are in your area.
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I agree with getting one of these guys out...we've had Sarah Weston out to my friends spooky gelding and she was excellent, gave us loads of advice. If its any consolation, I came off my horse a couple of weeks after I got him on our second hack alone. He took exception to a signpost of all things, spun round and headed for home leaving me on the ground. I only just feel now that I trust him, 10 months down the line, he took a long time to settle and there have been alot of times when I've just been temped to give up. After a while the good things start to happen more often than the bad but I know how tough it is.
 
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I have arranged for a RA person to come out on Saturday. To try and help with the issues with touching her, especially her head. My trainer has told me to bring the horse to her for a few weeks, but I am concerned that if I take her somewhere new, so soon after coming to my home, that she will be even more unsettled and then ultimately I have to take her back to my home again, which will surely unsettle her all over again ?
 
tracey01 said:
My trainer has told me to bring the horse to her for a few weeks, but I am concerned that if I take her somewhere new, so soon after coming to my home, that she will be even more unsettled and then ultimately I have to take her back to my home again, which will surely unsettle her all over again ?
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It may unsettle her a little bit, but if you have "bonded" more and are feeling confident handling/riding her she will gain confidence from you, and will settle. At the moment she isn't...
 
My trainer has told me to bring the horse to her for a few weeks, but I am concerned that if I take her somewhere new, so soon after coming to my home, that she will be even more unsettled and then ultimately I have to take her back to my home again, which will surely unsettle her all over again ?
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I agree. I certainly wouldn't move the horse again so quickly.

Get the trainer to come to you.
 
I have just bought what I have been told is totaly suitable for novice, now on day 5 horse out 24/7 only rode few 10 mins in arena so far and will hack out over week end with others, all I want to do is go for a small hack at walk and trot, others are saying come with us we can have a nice gallop...not ready for that..yet..I have galloped my last horse this one is bigger and its like starting all over..so will keep eye on your post.
 
Really good the RA is going to help.

I am so sorry it's gone like this - your safety has to be the No 1 issue. The last thing you need is to lose your nerve :( so any help will be great.

If all else fails, i think you have to go back to the vendor and try and get somewhere. This horse sounds like it has issues (altho the donkey would terrify most horses, and mine was scared of alpacas too), and needs an experienced and WILLING person to sort it out. This wasn't what you bargained for.

Huge ((((((((hugs)))))))) sm xx
 
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