New Horse Blues II

Not sure if this is an option but I would sell the shetland and move to a livery yard that had facilities. I got my first horse when I was 12 she was a riding school mare that I had ridden in lessons so knew her quite well.

Moved her to a livery yard with only hacking and she was a nightmare, napping, spinning, refusing to go anywhere.

Moved to a livery with indoor school and all changed, I got my confidence riding her and never looked back, she could still be nappy hacking on her own but I learnt to handle it.
 
Hate to say it but you could just have a horse that cannot cope with being kept in a small "home" environment.

I know my fairly safe sane sensible mare who I've owned 11 years now would be truly AWFUL with just one companion on a home environment. Plus she would even now find meeting a donkey a challenge even though we have a close relationship and she knows me as her rider inside out. Some horses never get used to donkeys.

You could well find this mare is completely different in an environment that allows her to feel secure and with more horses around her.

I personally think it takes a special kind of horse (usually but not always a gelding) to ask them to live isolated with just one other horse for company and then expect them to be happy to leave that company.

Mares in particular can take time to bond to a new owner I think. They are often more sensitive and less openly trusting and loving, but that's just my opinion, there are always exceptions.

Best of luck. If it was me, I'd give her far more time, take things back a bit and down into small chunks, but that's not for everyone.

If you want to keep the mare, but want to find out if she is like this normally or just in your environment, I would think about taking her to your trainer, as long as they can give her a different environment - at least then you could find out if she is sane and sensible in the right place and make a more informed decision on your future with her.
 
I am so sorry to hear how things are so far, but I think with time she may improve. I've had mine 6 weeks and we are finally building trust and he is no longer trying to spin / run away/ buck from scary things. I had an 'expert' hack him out a few times, with me on bike, and he was just as naughty with her as with me. I did ground work which also helped.
I also was advised to put in a stronger bit so my new boy could NOT spin or run off. He now knows I am in charge and listens to me.
I really, really hope you can also move forward with your new horse. I am also on my own, and I feel for you, but do not give up. Have you tried giving a hay net whilst you groom? Singing whilst handling?
I very much hope you can find a way through this and come out the other side. I felt exactly the same way you do, and things have improved with time.
Big hugs and lots of luckxxx
 
Oh dear :( it sounds like it is becoming a bit of a visous circle :( You are getting scared because of the way the horse is acting whilst out but the chances are that he is getting worse because he can sense your fear. Can you not box him somewhere off road for a few hacks until you begin to trust each other ?
 
DEFINITELY do not be worried about the donkey incident, even the sanest of horses can just go bonkers if the see a donkey!

As for the rest of her behaviour - 20 days/ 3 weeks is still no time at all for a horse to settle. Sure, some horses do see to settle straight away in new homes but also quite often those same horses start 'testing' a few months down the line once they're settled in their new place and know what's what. All horses are different (that's why we love them apparently! Lol).

It's great you have enlisted the help of someone else but my tip to you would be to try (I know it's hard) to handle her confidently and ride with confidence. It certainly will not help her if you are nervous before you have even set out. Just remember and tell yourself, she is NOT trying to be nasty, she is NOT trying to catch you out or deliberately upset you, she is a horse and reacts to her environment and the human who she relies on and needs to have trust in - ie YOU. Definitely do ground work with her (the RA should help you with this I would think) so she listens to what you are asking and undertands what you are asking. This will help her build trust in you which in turn will help when you ride her as you'll also be learning more about her.

Do not give up quite yet! :-)
 
What kind of environment has she come from? As others have said, it can take ages for some horses to settle, and some do not settle in certain environments.

My old loan mare is used to a busy environment, having come from a riding school. I kept her at a working farm and she was very relaxed. However the owner then kept her at a very quiet, small DIY yard (about 4 other horses), and the mare was an absolute nightmare for the whole year she was there. She was nervous, started shaking a lot, became very highly strung and some days the owner couldn't get near her let alone catch her. She was eventually sold and is now on a busy DIY/working farm yard and is thriving in that type of environment.

Some horses do take a long time to settle and I would say 20 days is still not all that long. Some horses can take weeks, months, sometimes even years to settle.

Also agree with ladyt25, make sure you are confident with handling and riding her, as it will not help her behavior if you appear very nervous from the beginning. I used to fake yawn or sing when I was nervous.
 
My racer was sold to me as good to hack, but the first time out he was *awful*. Got about 20 metres up the road & he was neighing, rearing, bucking, plunging, going backwards, shaking his head furiously...no choice but to go back home as the next stage was going to be throwing himself on the floor.

Next time, we tried going out with o/h leading my ancient mare in front, trainer walking beside us & me riding. He was a lot more confident following Jenny. The time after that, we left Jenny behind & trainer walked in front. Now I hack out with either trainer or o/h on a bike. I don't like going out alone, so that's good enough.

He went from a psychotic lunatic to being perfectly safe in the space of a few weeks, although I thought it was going to take aaaaaages & had mentally ruled out hacking altogether. Maybe try something similar & see what happens? Personally I felt a lot safer with Jenny in front & a spare pair of hands beside me, so that must have made me ride more confidently, which in turn gave Trev confidence.

Good luck!
 
20 days is no time at all. I would always give a new horse at least one week to settle before riding if not longer if I felt necessary. I would be lunging, walking out in hand, doing ground work with her. Get your other half to walk the shetland out in front so she has someone to follow (assuming the shettie is well behaved.....)

Moving homes can be a REALLY unsettling experience for some horses. She has been taken from the people she knows, from a routine she is used to and an area she knows to eveything being strange and scary. Disregard the donkey incident as that really is an exception.

I recently moved my horses. One of which has never remotely spooked or been a problem in the 12 years I have owned him. Nearly flew over his head last week such was the enormity of his spook!

Don't worry, your horse was almost certainly fine in her last home, and will settle to be fine with you, but you will need to give it time, and maybe a LOT of time. My 'new' horse, is still settling with me two and a half years on! I am almost able to hack out alone confidently, but still need to go out with company every few hacks to keep his confidence up. The company can be another horse or someone on foot or bike. As long as he has a leader. Try to find someone locally to hack out with who can nanny you. As has been suggested maybe someone on here is in your area?

Good luck and don't do anythign you aren;t comfortable with.
 
With horses, as with all animals, routine is part of the way they understand each day. This is to do with the other equines and humans that they see and hear, the regular vehicles they might see or hear, the smells around them, the feel of the going underfoot as they go in and out and around their field, and even the regular types of weather pattern in their usual turnout. They are super attuned to all of this as I assume you will know from your other horse. The tiniest change in any of this attracts their attention, and, as they are instinctively a prey animal, they must be ready to protect themselves. Your horse lost all of this 20 days ago - none of it has come with her to this new place. Imagine yourself transported to somewhere far-flung with no knowledge of anything or anyone around you, and bear in mind that humans are not nearly as obsertvant as horses.
Try to build up some very small new routines with her - try hard to do regular things in exactly the same way and the same order, so that she can begin to build up some understanding of her new home. Wear the same clothes and perfume (believe me she will notice), say the same things, sing the same songs, touch her in the same way, do things at the same time each day (they know how time feels, how the sunlight is shifting, the level of daylight - ok they couldn't articulate it, but it's instinctive to them). Make routines for both of you - she will gradually learn about them and accept them, and as a result you will feel more confident doing those routine things, and she will feel better about you.
 
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