New Horse - Extreme Irrational Fear - Update

Serephin

Serephin

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I have had my new horse for a week now - some might remember my post about irrational fear and how much of state I was in - well, its a week later and I have finally been getting some sleep and am going back to the doctor tomorrow to get the blood test results etc. I think I had a stomach bug on top of extreme anxiety - which wasn't pleasant at all. I have had the worst week ever!

Anyhow - I am totally knackered at the moment due to all this so haven't ridden or done much at all with my new horse. I lunged him for the first time last night and he went mental, racing around me bucking and squealing! He did finally settle and started listening to me and we ended on a good note.

But I am still really nervous and he is fidgety when tied up and generally really looking at everything - not the placid horse I thought I bought - but I am putting it down to new home, which is fair enough.

My question is: do I have to be pushing myself to get on and ride and lunge or whatever? I am very conscious of what other people are thinking and feel bad for not getting in there and getting stuck in - but TBH this is my first day back at work today, I am tired and my head is SO fuzzy cos of the sleeping tablets I am having to take, that the last thing I want to do is handle a fizzy new horse!

Does it matter that he is spending these first few weeks mostly in his field? Or am I messing things up big time? I really want to take things slowly but feel pressured by an invisible party almost! And it makes me feel like running away!

any advice welcome - cookies for getting this far!
 
I read your original post and really felt for you - I hope you are much better now! I am sure the stomach bug could not have helped and you will be back to normal in no time!

I don't think it is worth riding your horse if you are feeling unwell, just give yourself some time. If you are worried about the amount of time he is spending doing nothing, is there someone at your yard who could help and ride him for a short while? This would give you an idea of what he is like as well.

I would ignore what he does on the lunge. Many horses are completely different on the lunge than they are ridden, so it does not mean he would do these things ridden. Is it possible to ride him in the school with a friend on a reliable horse to give both of you a bit of a confidence boost? It's difficult to know if he is really fizzy or just a bit excited by being in a new yard and picking up on your worries a bit, so try to think positive and concentrate on what he was like when you tried and liked him!
 
Don't beat yourself up! Who cares what anyone else thinks!

Horses are emotional mirrors. If you have anything to do with them and you are not 100% calm, cool, collected and confident... they will reflect all your issues back at you. You can't expect them to have confidence in you, if yuo are in pieces.
The horse will take no harm from having a holiday to settle in . Work on establishing a routine, and getting the horses confidence.

I bought a new horse last week. He is 4. I am not going to get on with riding him. I am going to spend at least a month gently getting to know him, essensialy go through all the basics because I never take anyones word for anything when it comes to horses. Then the horse will know my ways and I will be able to take the measure of him.

Resist the urge to rush in!
 
Sorry to hear that you're still not feeling great.

I think while you're not feeling 100%, it may be as well to leave riding or lunging your horse and just do the things that you feel confident with. Can you get someone else to lunge/ride until you feel better? The thing is, you'll probably build it all up in your head and scare yourself before you even start! (I know that feeling!) It might be an idea to let someone more confident get on him before you do again anyway, just to stop you getting worried.

He is probably still settling in, so that might explain the fidgeting and you may be making more of it than it actually is because you don't feel well.

Don't feel pressured into doing anything. He's your horse, you can do whatever you want with him and it's nothing to do with anyone else! I didn't ride my horse for 3 weeks when I first got him because I was waiting for a saddle for him and he was absolutely fine.

Good luck and I hope you feel better very soon!
 
and who said you have to get stuck in and ride straight away.... I would let you both settle, get used to each other and the new surroundings. somebody said to me the other day that horses are like mirrors

Why don't you go and just spend some time together, fuss, brush or go and sit with him and read a book..... no pressure but it does establish some groundwork and helps build trust on both sides.

chin up,... good luck and lots of <<<<<<hugs>>>>>, you will be fine
 
I would ask a friend if they could get on him and take him out for you - thats what i did when i was feeling nervous having bought a new horse - it helped me see that he hadn't turned into a fruitcake since i had bought him and gave me the confidence to jump onboard without having to worry.

Take your time until you feel you are ready to go for it. Any pressure that you are putting on yourself will probably be transmitted to the horse.

Good luck!
 
My story is very similar, munus the bug!!
No you do not have to do anything, My huge fear was having bought a fizzy TB after a elderly pony that I would not be able to cope and I didnt ride at all for 2 months then took things rediculously slowly.
This was the best thing i could have done. In this time we became friends, he chilled out and got used to his new home and i got used to him. Now not a lot fazes me- but i know for a fact that i would not be able to handle his stupidness if i hadnt taken this time, and bonded with him - sounds pathetic but a horse you love being a loony is a lot less scary than one you hardly know!
Good luck, I'm sure it will all be fine XXX
 
Hi there sorry to hear your having such a difficult time. I'm experiencing something a little similar. Having a horse that has not been ridden for nearly 18 months, I'm absolutely a nervous wreck about the thought of riding him for only 10 minutes a day! Can't quite get the image of him rearing and bucking his way around the school out of my head. After all this time you would think I would be delighted to be getting back on his back, but NO - I'm petrified!!

Keep your chin up - you're not on your own!!
 
Glad you are feeling a bit better. My old girl is a loon on a lunge but an angel to ride, so dont let it phase you. Ditto everyone else, spend time getting to know him, perhaps see if someone else will ride him for you until he is settled and you feel a bit m
ore relaxed. Good luck
 
Thanks for all your replies - I am feeling far more positive about the situation, especially as I know I am not alone (and I am sleeping now, which is such a relief!).

Harlequin35: it sounds like you did the right thing. My last horse was a TB and I had him for 2 years, he could be a total prat but because I knew him it didn't bother me as much - with my new horse its all uncertain.

I went down this morning to take his rug off as its really warm - he came right over to me in the field, then he followed me about a bit as I went up his field to see what he would do. He stopped after a while, so I walked back down the field to the gate, as soon as I went out of the gate he came trotting down the field to me as if to say, where are you going, take me with you!

I am going to take things really slowly - I was invited out for a hack today, but I didn't feel ready for that yet, so a friend is going to lunge him with me tonight and see how we get on. He is a sweetie, so inquisitive, into everything - I just need to get to know him and chill out a bit - easier said than doe though!

thanks for all your support, its really appreciated!
smile.gif
 
Yes dont' think about what it does on the lunge - most hroses like to have a good prat about on the lunge and certainly in the field. I have seen the most amazing rodeo style moves from my lot in the field and both mine and my sister's horse like to hav a good career around and buck on the lunge before they settle but they'd never do it with me on
 
Amazingly exactly the same thing happened to me I got the flu at the same time as my new horse arrived and I got extremely anxious and ended up on tablets from the Dr. Turned horse out for three weeks as yard were having problems handling him - did not help with anxiety - but got better and just took it easy for a few months and now things are coming together. Still get a bit worried esp as new horsy is a bit naughty sometimes but generally nice with me.
 
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