New horse ... I'm feeling low!

In the wild herds are usually run by the 'boss' mare not the stallion. She is probably testing you to a degree so don't let her know you are upset by her. Start with small acts of you being the boss BUT never in any situation where she has the chance to get the upper hoof. She has to slowly accept that you are in charge and only fuss her when she is good.

When she is bad totally ignore her until she comes to you for approval. It does take time but you will get there in the end. We had a fell mare like that but she turned into a totally adorable best friend in the end - but with a warped sense of humour!
 
I can tell you from my mare, she is not the boss in the herd and very rarely are these mare the bosses. It's called being a false Alpha. My mare is perfect in company as long as she is not boss.

People seem to get these things mixed up. Horrible wagon equals boss mare. Not an effective one anyway.

Terri
 
No word of a lie, if you hadn't said you had a mare I would have thought you'd stolen my horse.

He is also a TB ex-racer and very Jekyll and Hyde personality wise. When I first got him he was very possessive about any food, hard feed or a net. He was also terrible to rug and brush. He would cow kick and scowl and lunge as though to bite. I was at my wits end at first so I know how you feel!

Half a year later he is still not great to brush, though I have seen a vast improvement. He now loves his face brushed, will tolerate his neck, legs and back end brushed. Still very iffy about his back and belly...but manageable if I'm firm.
He's getting loads better with rugging. He used to strike out with his front feet all the time when doing up the front straps, now he barely lifts his foot at all. He only scowls when I pull the rug down to straighten it now, too. As for food, he's happy to have you do his rug whilst he eats his hard feed and will let you brush him whilst he has a net.

So just keep your chin up and stay persistent. I was miserable at first, but put on a brave face as I didn't want anyone to think I had failed. You'll get there soon enough, it will just take time and you probably won't notice anything changing until you look back in a few months time!
 
Sounds just like an exracer I rode. He would take the face off you just for going in his box, had to be tied very short and at one stage wore a muzzle. He had been badly abused when racing and came out to go eventing. He was never ever badly treated with us, he needed careful managing and was not a horse you would have wanted on a public yard.

His saving grace however was his ability, he went round Badminton and Burghley, he was the most fantastic horse I have ever ridden, once aboard he was a different animal and just knew how wonderful and clever he was. The person on the ground round the start box still had to watch their back all the time though!

One thing we did for a while was take a stick into the box which made him stand quieter but it really does depend on how you deal with temperaments like these, sometimes ignoring it is better than any reaction but you have to be very very alert and quick on your feet and as you have found out, sometimes slapping back is just instinctive but I would try very very hard to ignore it and just be very firm and positive. Don't even try to do anything with her unless she is short tied, and never interfere when she is eating.

If all else fails, give her to me :D
 
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My mare isn't keen on being rugged or having belly/teat area brushed and will swing her head to take a chunk. I am working on this and slowly instead of slapping her i'm getting her to respond to me clicking my fingers at her! She pulls faces at people but not so much at me which makes me smile although i think it's cos she knows where her bread is buttered. I also don't think it helps that she is in the first stable so always has people passing her, maybe she likes to have her own space, but at the same time she is a curtain twitcher!
I don't know what the cause is, she's a Danish WB and although not the most affectionate horse, she does like a fuss in her own time. I accept that she isn't a cuddly horse but we have moments where her soft side comes out.
If anyone comes up with any reasons please let me know!
 
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It's only been a week. She's unsettled. Mares and tb's can both be easily unsettled. My tb used to threaten and 'go for' people. Everyone at his last yard knew he bites but no one remembers him actually getting anyone. ;-) Truth is he's a wimp who threatens people out of his space. I vowed to love and cuddle him into submission and it's working. He grumps at me and a couple of kisses and a snuggle later and he's ears forward again. I'm not saying your mare is safe for smothering straight away but don't rise to her bad behaviour more than you have to and give her a little more time. Bug can snap at my face and I don't even get out of the way. He won't bite me but i've trusted him like this from day 1, odd really as i've had bitey horses before and am normally quite nervous about it. We just clicked I guess and it sounds like not and she have something similar waiting to happen. Try to let it. :-)
 
Guys and Girls thank you all so much, you have been so wonderful and lovely and just when i needed you :)
I feel inspired and most of all i dont feel alone.

Tomorrow is a new day, she is mine and thats the main thing.... everything else will just come with time :D

Oh and no she didnt come from up north! :confused:

Thank you xxx :)
 
Hi,

You've only had her for a week - give her a break. Don't get angry with her - or hit her that won't do either of you any good. She's going to take a while to get to know you and settle in. With a new horse imagine the speech bubble 'And you are?'. Take time to know her on the ground, walk her in hand - take her to some grass away from the field and let her munch, spend time with her in her stable - even if you're just drinking tea and reading a paper - groom her, talk to her, play her some music - mad I know but it can chill you out.

When you approach her in the field hmmm or sing so she knows it's you and be patient - you'll get there in the end. :D

MY pony took over four months to relax in his stable and in new company - nearly 12 months later he's chilled and a happy bunny.
 
You have only had her a week!

Give her time to settle and adjust to her new life and people around her.

When the boundaries are established im sure she will be happier even if still a marish mare.
 
First thought is this is classic gastric ulcer behaviour. Give her plenty of ad lib hay and a forage only diet, plus a supplement for gastric ulcers and give the poor horse time to settle in.
 
Equilibrium Ireland said:
I can tell you from my mare, she is not the boss in the herd and very rarely are these mare the bosses. It's called being a false Alpha. My mare is perfect in company as long as she is not boss.

People seem to get these things mixed up. Horrible wagon equals boss mare. Not an effective one anyway.

Terri
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Agree with this! My mare is like a little hitler and is horrible to all other horses if she's the boss. She needs a horse that is dominant to her for her to completely change and become all soppy.
 
WishUponAStar said:
Also, consider the fact she might have gastric problems - my dressage ride has turned from miserable complete git to sweet and cuddly since his ulcers were sorted!!
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This. Also hind gut ulcers/upset. Physical problems can make the 'best' horse grumpy and unpredictable. Being an ex racer and with the stress of a move ulcers are very likely imo. Be aware of her behaviour and take care when working round her. x
 
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Great relationships are not bought, you have to make them.
Mares are very often strong minded and will full, this is because mares are leaders. Geldings and stallions may show dominance but never are they leaders.
She's been with you a week now, and probably weighed you up in about half an hour.
If she were mine, I'd micro manage her, where she stands, what she's allowed to do, how close she can come into my space.
I wouldn't do anything without a head collar and lead rope on her.
She may well have gastric issues if she's off a racing yard, but that will only be part of her behavior.
Once she accepts, you own everything, even the space she is standing in, stable or field, you can relax a bit.
What normally happens is that they realize they have a strong leader they can follow and they don't feel they have to take charge. They normally relax then and allow their nicer nature to show.
 
I have one of the most vile tempered mares I have ever met ( I have 4 others and they are all easy)
I've been trampled, kicked, lunged at. One day she charged at me in the field and reared over my head.
Last summer she had an injury to her hind leg and it was only then that we really bonded.
She came home 2 weeks ago from being backed and she is a totally different horse, still has her moments but is a lot easier to get on with :)

Give your girl a chance, you haven't had her long, when you do create a bond with her, she will go to the moon and back for you :)
 
As with tinsel cat. She's been there a week. Patience. And don't meet anger with anger. From the sounds she got a slap round the face? To me that's pointless. As she goes for the bite I'd let her meet a brush or elbow but don't up the anti back at her.
You knew the problems when you took her on, sounds like she needs boundaries and consistency but I wouldn't be uping the anti.
If touching the rug, tie up properly so she has no option to bite etc. Put her in a situation where there isn't an option to set up to fail.
If she doesn't like fussing, don't scratch a face over a door etc.
Let her get to know you before throwing lots at her to fall down at each hurdle.
 
PandorasJar said:
As with tinsel cat. She's been there a week. Patience. And don't meet anger with anger. From the sounds she got a slap round the face? To me that's pointless. As she goes for the bite I'd let her meet a brush or elbow but don't up the anti back at her.
You knew the problems when you took her on, sounds like she needs boundaries and consistency but I wouldn't be uping the anti.
If touching the rug, tie up properly so she has no option to bite etc. Put her in a situation where there isn't an option to set up to fail.
If she doesn't like fussing, don't scratch a face over a door etc.
Let her get to know you before throwing lots at her to fall down at each hurdle.
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I agree. Calm, cool and consistent with the boundaries too, upping the anti will only upset her more and if there are physical problems it isn't fair imo.
 
Equilibrium Ireland said:
You know most of my horses have been with me since birth and if I need to straighten rugs or take one off I always take a rope and headcollar. Not just for my safety but theirs as well. I'm in about my mares. They aren't crazy horrible wagons, it's just common sense. And I only do mints at night. Going out into the field with treats whenever can lead to aggression as well. I have treat rules. Follow them or no treats.

She does sound like a typical mare. My 6yo can be the same. For the most part I ignore her. Because for the most part she likes to be a drama queen. Now and again she gets a reminder. Rare but occassionally she needs one. Under saddle she's brilliant. I didn't breed her to be a sweet love bug and have the lovey dovey horse thing going on. She tries for me and I let her be a horse. She does appreciate me and days when I get her sweetness are wonderful. She is who she is and that's ok within reason.

Terri
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Excellent advice - My mare likes her own space and I respect that - I always tie her up in the stable whenever I want to rug, pick feet out etc. because I know she has her off days, it keeps me safe and she has always had a good routine. I hardly ever repremand (only if she tries to kick and that hardly ever happens now as she feels secure and knows her boundaries) I tend to ignore grumpiness. Titbits are only given just before I leave and never in the field
 
Pale Rider said:
Great relationships are not bought, you have to make them.
Mares are very often strong minded and will full, this is because mares are leaders. Geldings and stallions may show dominance but never are they leaders.
She's been with you a week now, and probably weighed you up in about half an hour.
If she were mine, I'd micro manage her, where she stands, what she's allowed to do, how close she can come into my space.
I wouldn't do anything without a head collar and lead rope on her.
She may well have gastric issues if she's off a racing yard, but that will only be part of her behavior.
Once she accepts, you own everything, even the space she is standing in, stable or field, you can relax a bit.
What normally happens is that they realize they have a strong leader they can follow and they don't feel they have to take charge. They normally relax then and allow their nicer nature to show.
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Blimey PL, I find myself agreeing with you AGAIN ;)

*Runs off to take temperature*

OP a great horseman once told me 'take charge of the feet and you have the horse' very wise words that I have never forgotten.
 
Stick with it she will come around. Granted it is hard my mare was difficult in different ways but i find mares are so loving and when you get that bond its fab! Good on you for correcting her lack on manners, only way is up!!
 
Things wont get better if you don't teach her some manners, there is no miracle time after 2yrs she will be the perfect horse, cant see how that makes sense. Show her a trustworthy leader and you could be having a good time in 2 weeks! Stay safe in the meantime....she says with a horse related broken arm:D
 
sorry but you say you knew she was not goodto rug so in the field you pull on the rug to adjust it and she lets you know you do not like it-we have a pony at our yard who had nasty wounds to the tops of herlegs and her chest when she arrive 6yrs ago-she has no scars and is always one to be watched when rugging her, sometimes there is a reason, ulcers can cause issues with rugging tooand tb out of racing are high risk for them, i agree dont let her get away with biting or kicking but dont play with her rugs in the field if you know she is not good with it.

why are you offended re the feeding thing, the other people at yard will only know about it in the first place if they have seen it or you have told them, it again can be a sign of ulcers and is common with horses form racing yards where their routine is usually very regimanted they can take a long time to adjust to life away from a racing yard.

biting never tolerate, but where were you rubbing there may be a link between rugs and where you were rubbing maybe?

i agree man up dont take c**p but be observant see if there is any link when the bad behaviours occur,
 
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