New Horse- Livery Yard Anxiety!!!

[sullymango2000]

Hiya!

I don't know if anyone else has been in my situation before, but looking for a bit of friendly advice if possible!

I owned my first horse about 10 years ago, when i was 16/17 and we were very lucky in finding a small local livery, with about 4 other owners (super friendly!) on the yard. Unfortunately, we had to move yards due to the owner selling the land to developers.

I moved to a slightly bigger, although still small, livery and had the worst time of my life... We were limited at the time of where to move, as no where had vacancies and it had to be somewhere I could get to by myself from school. I was a fair bit younger than the other owners on the yard and i feel i was treated differently due to this, and the fact my horse was my first. My Mum mucked in where possible, but couldn't always be there with me. The whole experience knocked my confidence and sadly resulted in me selling my horse and packing up the hobby. It all turned quite traumatic in the end and really did put me off.

So, lets skip to 10 years later... I am an adult, have a car, my own home and a job that pays enough to own a horse. I have been slowly re-introducing myself back into riding with weekly lessons and am loving it. I would love to have a Horse again within the next couple of years. Owning and riding a horse doesn't phase me at all, it's the people...

I wondered if anyone had any tips on getting over the livery yard scaries...unfortunately, finding a sole use yard where i am based is like gold dust! Livery would be my only option. I completely understand that not everyone is unkind and that all people differ, but i do find that it is so 50/50 and the horsey world can be so bitchy! Stuff that happened 10 years ago knocked my confidence so badly that it still gives me shivers today.

Thank you for reading, hopefully I can relate with others within the forum?

 

[NoodlesHalloween]

Hi
I had a very long break from riding and horses following an accident when my eldest son was 4. I recently got back into riding and then helped out a rehab horse and finally have my pride and joy on loan. I can only say I try to get on with everyone and people that seem a little too gossipy or bitchy I give a bit of a wide berth in a very discreet way. I make jokes about myself and the silly mistakes I sometimes make so I have kind of let the cat out the bag already and I try hard to just have fun and not take things too seriously.
I am preparing to move to a new yard at the end of next month and can honestly say all my little insecurities and anxieties have all reared their ugly little heads, but I know all the time my horse is happy then noone elses opinions really matter that much.
Go for it as life is too short to be put off by others and their opinions.

 

[dorsetladette]

I've had a few unpleasant experiences on different places so I can see where your anxiety comes from. I've got my own place now (very low key) and wouldn't change it for the world.

I understand not everyone is able to do this and owning a horse for the first time as an adult you'll want the support of a little community around you, and people to ride with. Before you look at purchasing a horse can you visit a few yards as a potential new livery and get a feel for them. I'd go unannounced and ask for the YO/YM and see what kind of reception you get. Go at times when you will likely be doing your horse when you get one and then you should bump into the people that will be around when you would be - hopefully that will give you a better 'feel' for the atmosphere generally on the yard.

 

[Smogul]

Look for a yard that only does full livery. Never known bitchiness as people come up at different times, ride their horse, maybe have a brief chat then go home. No interest in standing around gossiping, just wat to spend time with their horse.

 

[dottylottie]

i didn’t have a break per se, but i did buy my own horses at 21 after having 2 with my mum when i was younger. i’ve been lucky that my first yard there were just 3 of us and it was a lovely environment, and the 2nd there’s only 10 stables so still small!

i’d say your really big yards can actually be better than the smaller ones, they’re big enough that you can still keep out of any drama or cliques without being billy no mates!

i’ve had my fair share of drama despite hating the bitchiness, but i’ve found if you make it clear from the start you’re not interested in the drama, but be friendly, people soon get the message and don’t waste their time including you in it.