New horse, not as discribed

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Me n jaz

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Hi, I'm hoping for some advice from experienced owners and hoping I won't get any negative feedback as it's not what I need right now. I bought a 14.2hh Arab mare who's 16yrs this year, she was intended for my novice 9yrs son and was sold as a first pony and bombproof if all aspects. We tried and tested her and she seemed so placid and an easy ride for my son, she was sound although need her feet trimming, left a deposit and returned 3wks later to collect. When we turned up, she had lost weight, had a really bad eye infection, very badly burn nose and her feet had been left n was in a state, I should have walked away but i couldn't have left her with these people so home she came with us.
She is now fit n healthy n I love her to bits, but now she's herself she is no bombproof pony, is mega head shy and it takes me 45mins to get her bridle on, she is crazy on hacks n is far too fizzy n hyper for my son to handle on the ground and in the saddle and she has knocked him over on the ground a few times.
I feel that I have really bonded with her and have been working to over come her problems but I can't ride her as I'm too heavy n a nervous rider, I am loosing weight n have lost over a stone but have another to go until I feel she will be ok with me but that will take some time and I don't know that I will have the confidence to ride her. I don't want to sell her on as I would be terrified that she would be neglected again but can't afford for her to just be wasted in a field, I really don't know what the best thing for her is.

I know I went against all the rules of buying her, but I don't regret it for one second, but now I'm left with a dilemma so would welcome so constructive advice. Thanks for your time, she's not our first horse but I've not owned a horse for a good few years x
 
What a shame it hasn't turned out the way you wanted. Honestly I would cut my loses and sell her on, you want a horse for your son, she is obviously not going to be suitable. I am sure that you would be fine riding her, but that's not the point unless you can afford to get another for your son and keep them both.

It's a cliche, but it's supposed to be fun and there are lots of suitable ponies out there. Sometimes new ponies just don't settle into a new regime and you have certainly done your best by her. You have realised where you have gone a bit wrong when buying her, I am sure next time you will view everything a bit differently.
 
Ok it's not clear how long you have had her and if you can return her - assume not. Head shy can be addressed mine was an abuse case and we can now put a fly veil on her and use a normal bridle. I would stop feeding her if you are to reduce any excess calories and fizz, just grass and hay at night if she is stabled. Both my mares were bargy when they came but with firm , loving and patient handling they are now 99% good (odd windy day etc) I would buy a rope halter and release the pressure when she is calm and good. Can you lunge her prior to your son riding the work on the ground will also help her to respect you both. I would take her out with company if you can , lead rein or pay a lighter (if you are still worried about your weight) more experienced rider to take her out a few times.

We don't know why she is so fizzy at the moment but potentially it may not be that she is too much just too much at the moment without some work. Good luck fingers crossed.
 
I am so sorry things have not worked out for you with this mare. how long have you had her? Did you have her vetted and if so have you thought about having her blood sample checked? Is she with other horses and does she seem settled with them? Had she been in her last home for a longtime, if she had she may still be very unsettled with the move. Horses can take a long time to settle but if you think she has settled then it may be better to try to move her on. Failing that, a 14.2arab can carry quite a lot of weight, have you thought about getting a confident adult rider to sit on her and see how she is?
 
Thanks so much for your advice, I think I'm going to hang onto her, yesterday she let me kiss her nose n put sun cream on and was very relaxed n sleepy eyed and not throwing her head up which made me feel that I am making progress with her.

Really I've not had her that long, I do feel she has settled but she defo is not for my son. But if she gains a bit more weight n i can get her fit by lunging n I loose some weight we could eventually make a good team, and if not and she is not a suitable ride for me at least I can feel confident that I've given us both every chance n then find her a more suitable home.
We have decided to get another horse, perhaps a steady cob for both me and my son so that I can gain my confidence, n yes I'll go n buy one with my eyes wide open this time lol.
Thanks again x
 
I am sorry to hear your new horse has not worked out as you hoped, I also agree that Arabs can carry quite a bit of weight many men ride them even at 14.2, I really hope you mange to keep her Arabs are fantastic horses and have a way of paying you back for any kindness and understanding you give, I know I have one and wouldnt part with him for the world, I think with a bit of time and understanding she will come round most do, where are you in the country?
 
Pinkvboots said:
I am sorry to hear your new horse has not worked out as you hoped, I also agree that Arabs can carry quite a bit of weight many men ride them even at 14.2, I really hope you mange to keep her Arabs are fantastic horses and have a way of paying you back for any kindness and understanding you give, I know I have one and wouldnt part with him for the world, I think with a bit of time and understanding she will come round most do, where are you in the country?
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I think your right, perhaps I've been using my weight as an excuse, I'm chicken really :) but would feel better when she's at her target weight n it wouldn't hurt me to lose another stone.
I've just discovered something today, when I went this morning to feed her, I thought she was a bit spooky and not relaxed, she didn't seem to want to stay with us which has happened before but just put it down to the wind ect.. then I saw a loose big black dog come into the field..eek...she didn't freak out but was very un easy and just wanted to get back to the other horses.
I yelled at the man and his three other dogs to not let his dogs roam in the field with the horses in which fell on deaf ears, he shouldn't even be on the land as it's private (not mine unfortunately) an is not a right of way but does give short access to a nature reserve but that is no excuse.

But I'm thinking that this maybe cause for her hyper behaviour as if she thinks that there's loose dogs about she's going to feel worried and want to get back to her heard? Do you think this could be why she is so on edge/hyper?

I am not happy where we are as I'm the only one that sees the need to pick up pooh from the field that has 7 other horses in to keep it clean, some of the fencing is barbed wire n I noticed a few scratchers on her as well as the shelter being full of pooh, n even though she doesn't use it, I still clean it out. So after today It was the final straw n think we need to find somewhere elsewhere she can feel safe and relax n be herself, I was just worried about up routing her again.
We are in south yorkshire x
 
I think I would be looking to take her to a yard with people that can help, somewhere nice and quiet with a fixed routine that she can settle into. I would then perhaps pay an instructor to ride her a couple of times and get their opinion on whether she will settle or whether she is just a little hot. If the instructors opinion is that she is hot and unlikely to be suitable over time then I would look to have her schooled regularly by the instructor and sold as there are plenty of good homes out there for people who want a horse like this. Perhaps she could go into endurance riding, or showing with her breeding with the right rider. I would not take this as giving up on your part, you have obviously done the best for the horse, I would simply see it as not being the right horse for you and there are plenty more out there that are. You can then also get the instructor to help you find another horse. I hope this is helpful for you.
 
Just a thought. how was she introduced to the other horses in her field (you say there are 7)? it can be very difficult initially for horses to find their place in an established herd and potentially very stressful. I always keep a new horse on their own initially but next to the herd, then hack it out with the least dominant, then put that one in with the newbie and gradually introduce the others, i know some folks just chuck a new horse out and keep their fingers crossed but it's not really ideal from any of the horses point of view.
 
I would definately move to a new yard with a helpful yard owner.
I would say that at 9 your son probably doesn't want anything too big, it is hard to be confident on a horse too big for you, personally I would get a pony for him, in four years or so you can share something.
Just my thoughts and good luck with her.
 
Clodagh said:
I would definately move to a new yard with a helpful yard owner.
I would say that at 9 your son probably doesn't want anything too big, it is hard to be confident on a horse too big for you, personally I would get a pony for him, in four years or so you can share something.
Just my thoughts and good luck with her.
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Hi, my son is a tall lad for a 9yrs old 4ft.10" so small ponys are not really suitable, I don't think size is an issue here anyway as he's not afraid of horses any size (we love shires n often go to the heavy horse sanctuary where he grooms an 18hh Suffolk punch) it's more the nature of the horse that's important and I'm sure we can find one for both, without having to wait 4yrs lol, but thanks anyway, and yes we will be moving yards :)
 
Take her to a yard where she can live out at least most of the time, and has some some sensible liveries you can hack out with to build both yours and her confidence. Take your time and she'll be fine - honest. Arabs are great :)
 
lastchancer said:
Take her to a yard where she can live out at least most of the time, and has some some sensible liveries you can hack out with to build both yours and her confidence. Take your time and she'll be fine - honest. Arabs are great :)
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Thanks for that, she improves each day, I am very attached to this girl n love her to bits even in the short time we have had her I feel we have a bond, she actually came to me from the field today instead of me having to go n catch her which made me so proud, I'm sure we will be fine, not letting this one go :) x
 
Me n jaz said:
I think your right, perhaps I've been using my weight as an excuse, I'm chicken really :) but would feel better when she's at her target weight n it wouldn't hurt me to lose another stone.
I've just discovered something today, when I went this morning to feed her, I thought she was a bit spooky and not relaxed, she didn't seem to want to stay with us which has happened before but just put it down to the wind ect.. then I saw a loose big black dog come into the field..eek...she didn't freak out but was very un easy and just wanted to get back to the other horses.
I yelled at the man and his three other dogs to not let his dogs roam in the field with the horses in which fell on deaf ears, he shouldn't even be on the land as it's private (not mine unfortunately) an is not a right of way but does give short access to a nature reserve but that is no excuse.

But I'm thinking that this maybe cause for her hyper behaviour as if she thinks that there's loose dogs about she's going to feel worried and want to get back to her heard? Do you think this could be why she is so on edge/hyper?

I am not happy where we are as I'm the only one that sees the need to pick up pooh from the field that has 7 other horses in to keep it clean, some of the fencing is barbed wire n I noticed a few scratchers on her as well as the shelter being full of pooh, n even though she doesn't use it, I still clean it out. So after today It was the final straw n think we need to find somewhere elsewhere she can feel safe and relax n be herself, I was just worried about up routing her again.
We are in south yorkshire x
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Sorry I have been away, As others have said I would move to a nice yard with others you can ride with maybe find a good instructor and you and your son could have some lessons, such a shame your so far away I would have happily given you a hand with things,but it sounds like she is starting to trust you and honestly once she does you will have a different horse, Arabs love to be handled by the same people they thrive on it, please let me know how you are getting on x
 
She sounds like a sweetheart. I think you sound like you are doing brilliantly with her and like you say if you lose a bit and she gains a bit and gets fitter you could be the perfect team.

Sometimes ponies are just worth that extra time and you will end up with a wee star xx
 
Hi there. I currently have an Arab and live in South Yorkshire. Feel free to PM me, I am always happy to have a sit on and try her if you want to see her ridden/sat on. I'm used to arab antics but they truly are a wonderful breed :) you would be suprised how much an Arab can carry when fit and healthy :)
 
My Shagya stallion at 6 years is a pussy cat but we went through difficult phases with him, including difficulty in putting on his bridle. He tends to throw his head high. We have overcome that with patience.

If your horse is now much better cared for she might need a lot more work than she is getting. I would look at feed, try lunging first to take out the fizz and even if you feel you are a bit heavy there is nothing to stop you riding her at a walk. I agree with Maria Arabs are surprisingly strong.

Also don't underestimate the time needed to settle into a new home. We purchased two mares from Hungary. The four year old settled straight away, the 6 year old who had been part of a driving team tooks weeks to settle in. She is now a lovely riding horse.
 
Hi, unfortunately I have dislocated my knee :( so won't be doing much for a while unfortunately which is so frustrating. But she is on complete rest while she gains weight as I don't want her to burn callories and want her to gain slowly until she gets to a good weight and I can no longer see bones that arnt ment to be seen, she gets some excersize as the field is on a hill which is good, but that's it for the moment.

She is comming on really well n I can't tell u how much we all love her and how proud of her I am, she seem so much calmer so I think your all right, she just needed more time to settle in. Me n my husband are working on her head shyness and he told me that she let him brush her face today which is a massive step for her. It's going to take a lot of patients but I have that in buckets so we will overcome this, we no longer have to go n catch her as as soon as she see our car either mine or my husband she comes to the gate and nays in a low tone as if she's saying hello to us.

The more time I spend with her and build a bond I don't feel nervous about riding her, In fact I can't wait, so when the time comes I think we will be fine, hopefully we will be in a livery before the winter sets in where there will be a school so I can build her up and build her up.

Thanks for all your offers of help, I really do appreciate it and all your words of advice and encouragement have really help. I think we're going to be just fine, she is part of the family now and will live the rest of her life with us as I love her so much xx
 
Rollin said:
My Shagya stallion at 6 years is a pussy cat but we went through difficult phases with him, including difficulty in putting on his bridle. He tends to throw his head high. We have overcome that with patience.

If your horse is now much better cared for she might need a lot more work than she is getting. I would look at feed, try lunging first to take out the fizz and even if you feel you are a bit heavy there is nothing to stop you riding her at a walk. I agree with Maria Arabs are surprisingly strong.

Also don't underestimate the time needed to settle into a new home. We purchased two mares from Hungary. The four year old settled straight away, the 6 year old who had been part of a driving team tooks weeks to settle in. She is now a lovely riding horse.
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Good advice here :)
When I got my mare she had been handled a little too firmly and would not let anyone near her face. With time she realised I was not going to hurt her and we have overcome bridle and headcollar issues. Now she loves to rub her face all over me and is a different horse entirely :)
 
Me n jaz said:
Hi, unfortunately I have dislocated my knee :( so won't be doing much for a while unfortunately which is so frustrating. But she is on complete rest while she gains weight as I don't want her to burn callories and want her to gain slowly until she gets to a good weight and I can no longer see bones that arnt ment to be seen, she gets some excersize as the field is on a hill which is good, but that's it for the moment.

She is comming on really well n I can't tell u how much we all love her and how proud of her I am, she seem so much calmer so I think your all right, she just needed more time to settle in. Me n my husband are working on her head shyness and he told me that she let him brush her face today which is a massive step for her. It's going to take a lot of patients but I have that in buckets so we will overcome this, we no longer have to go n catch her as as soon as she see our car either mine or my husband she comes to the gate and nays in a low tone as if she's saying hello to us.

The more time I spend with her and build a bond I don't feel nervous about riding her, In fact I can't wait, so when the time comes I think we will be fine, hopefully we will be in a livery before the winter sets in where there will be a school so I can build her up and build her up.

Thanks for all your offers of help, I really do appreciate it and all yo
ur words of advice and encouragement have really help. I think we're going to be just fine, she is part of the family now and will live th rest of her life with us as I love her so much xx
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Sorry to hear about your knee but great to hear good news. Sounds like you are going to have a lovely little horse in no time :) good luck with the future, I'm sure she will repay your kindness :)
 
Chances where she was on a calmer when you went to view her.did actually say on the advert 'bombproof pony' or 'would be suitable for a novice rider' when looking at the advert read between the lines for example ' very alert' really it means that they most likely spook at everything, and gets their knockers in a twist!
 
Ms.Cameo.22 said:
Chances where she was on a calmer when you went to view her.did actually say on the advert 'bombproof pony' or 'would be suitable for a novice rider' when looking at the advert read between the lines for example ' very alert' really it means that they most likely spook at everything, and gets their knockers in a twist!
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Hi, she was advertised as a bombproof child's 1st pony, those exact words, not forward and good to do in all ways :( but although she's not suitable for my son I hope in time I might be able to ride her:) x
 
That's nuts! Maybe considering loaning her out (if you don't want to sell her) and getting another for your son? Or possibly get a experienced/confident sharer to help chip in for a few days a week?
 
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