New Horse - What do i do?

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rachier

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GOt my new horse last week after my TB had to be retired due to injury (who i still ahve), and im scared of him.

Hes never actually put a foot wrong but i just cant trust him, i just want my Checky back (my TB).

Hes quite responsive and goes/stops when you ask but i am so used to lazy horses who you have to boot to go. Everyone loves him and says hes pefect but im scared that he will bolt (have had many falls with horses like this (and one when i was trying horses to buy).

Im so worried i am not going to get used to him.

Tonight im going to do a bit of lunging to get him relaxed in the school and to try to convince myself hes not a horrible monster!!!

Any ideas??? - My instructor is giving me 2 lessons a week at mo and the situation hasnt been helped by a saddle that is too small for me - getting it changed this week (its a GFS and it tips me forward and its soo uncomfortable).
 
You've got to give yourself time. I felt exactly the same having bought Thumper last summer. (I still get a bit wobbly even now).

Just get on him and ride him. Don't give yourself an excuse not too, and lunging sounds like an excuse.
 
I've just read your post and am thinking "why did you buy the horse initially?!". I mean, there must have been a lot of positive points for you to have wanted to purchase him/her in the first place?

I think you should stick with the lessons with your instructor and I'm sure your confidence in each other will grow. You might also want to try doing some groundwork (lunging/long reining as you have suggested) to try and develop a bond with your horse.

I'm sure it'll just take time. For about the first 5 months I had my new boy I would have quite happily shot him and put him on a plate but a year on and I've got the most perfect horse I could ever hope for. Stick with it and I'm sure you'll feel the same. If you don't, you may want to consider selling your horse.
 
The lunging is just because the saddle is awful - while i wait for saddler to come back (plus i like lunge lessons and need to make sure he does it ok - they will help my position and confidence while i get used to his paces).
 
Hes fab - i wouldnt ahve bought him if i hadnt been!!!

It took me a while to get used to my TB and after a few months i would take him anywhere.

I think its just gonna take time i suppose, i just get really worried that we are not going to bond!!
 
Its very hard to get used to a new horse if you have had the other (Checky) for a long time. When I retired my old girl after 15 or so years I found it very hard to come to terms with my new horse who was very good just a bit stronger. All I will say is to give it time, have help off your instructor and try not to compare all the time.
 
Never mind the riding part, you need to bond with your horse. make sure that you spend as much time with him as possible. Even if you aren't going to ride tonight, groom every inch of him. The physical contact will do both of you good. I love my horse, but I was scared of her when I got her and at one point I asked the woman to take her back, luckily she couldn't. Now I am so glad that I gritted my teeth and got on with it.
 
It is very, very early days. Your new horse will still be very unsettled in his new home so give yourself plenty of time to get to know each other - don't expect to be able to do everything you did with Checky with the new horse straightaway. You bought the new one because you thought he was right for you, so just give yourself time and take things slowly.
 
Another idea is to think 'Right - I'm just going to tack him up, sit on him, WALK him round for a few minutes and get off'. Don't think of doing any more than this for a few weeks. You'll soon be telling yourself 'Aw..can't I stay on longer and have a trot!" etc and so it builds...
 
Oh bless you, i know exactly how you feel! Get to know him and love him, it will all work out, lunging is a great way to get to know eachother to, get to know your voice and how he reacts, its a good way of bonding and if the saddle is rubbish you are doing the right thing. You could lead him out in hand, so you get to know eachother and trust eachother, grooming like Traceysaid too.

It is early days but i am sure you will grow to love him and trust eachother. xx
 
I got a new horse after many years being a lead rein mum and I thought I would be same person/rider/handler I had been all those years ago, and as confident as I was handling the kids ponies. I quite simply was not. I was a wimp with masses of self doubt and hang ups. The new horse was obviously not as easy as the ponies and I felt overwhelmed. After the first week my mum rang and I broke down in tears and said that if she had been on trial I wouldn't buy her. Then appeared a great pal who is brave and confident and capable and she did all the things for the first time that I had been putting off - like just changing her rugs in the stable without tying up the mare, cantering up an open field, jumping a xc fence on hack just for the hell of it, bathing her, mucking out around her, all these really simple things that were freaking me out. My pal even hunted her for the first time for me! I realised I just needed to see someone else do it and then I knew it would be ok. Silly I know, but actually I realise that my kids are just like me; I show them how and then they have a go. Perhaps i regressed!? Anyway, all I'm saying is, ask someone who you trust to have a go for you and show you how your horse behaves, then have a go yourself. Start slowly, build up gently and congratulate yourself each time you have a triumph, no matter how small. I'm still 'edgy' sometimes but I now have enough trust in the mare to get stuck in and believe that I'll be able to do it. Today I actually took her up the gallops, yes at a gallop, and it was fab! But if you'd asked me to do it 3 months ago I would never have.
PS horses aren't necessarily that use to changing homes as often as ponies (every 2 years or so) and I think they take more time to settle in. It took my mare a good 6 weeks to mellow, and become one of the family. Give your horse and yourself time. I'm sure it'll work out. AND ENJOY IT!
 
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