New Livery has an issue with me?

[AnonQuery1468]

Hi,

A new livery moved on to the yard I’m on recently, all was well and good we are DIY and our horses got on well in the field until a mare was introduced into the heard (it was geldings only)
The new liveries horse started to go out of its way to target my youngster to the point where he would canter across the field to just go for him while he was grazing. My boy was pinned in a corner of the field back barrelled over and over again, kicked into electric fencing and kicked into a big tree. My boy is 3, 14hh and a rescue he is timid around other horses and keeps himself to himself. The other horse is 18h older with a full set of shoes. my boy ended up coming in lame and covered in cuts and was generally unhappy in the shared field.
I requested a field change for my lads safety and well being which my YO was happy with but the livery seems to have taken offence to this, they give me funny look, they go out of their way not to speak to me and they have blocked me on Facebook.
I know horses will be horses but this was more than a pecking order battle. What I can’t understand is why she would be so angry at me when I did what was best for my boy which doesn’t effect her in any

Am I missing something?

Thank you for reading if you got this far, I’m just really confused and it’s causing an atmosphere at the yard.

 

[Mule]

Maybe she thought you were complaining about her horse and took it personally. You probably won't know for sure unless you ask her.

 

[Lois Lame]

Maybe she just felt guilty that her horse had done this. Would some pleasant talking clear the air?

 

[Gingerwitch]

Ignore her, she is the one whom should be apologising to you. X

 

[SEL]

Some liveries take it personally when their horses are bullies. Just ignore her.

 

[Winters100]

Personally I would just ask her if I had done something to upset her, and if she raised this as an issue just explain that it is not personal, that you know that sometimes horses don't get along, but that you wanted to avoid injuries. If she is still offended after this stick to a polite 'hello' and 'goodbye' and leave it at that.

 

[PapaverFollis]

I had a horse twice kicked in by another livery's horse. It was my mare who invited the beatings I'm sure. Started fights she couldn't finish. But she came off worse both times and no-one saw it start so the other liveries just knew their horse had hurt mine... both times they got really funny with me! As if I'd accused them personally of beating up my horse. Even though I'd been very much "don't worry about it, horses are horses, I'm sure it's mine that started it" etc. I was upset that my girl was hurt and I had to get the vet but I wasn't blaming anyone.

People are odd.

In one situation I'm actually sure the YM wound the other livery up against me for kicks as other livery was apologetic and upset at first and everything was fine, then a short time later was being really off with me. The YM had reacted very oddly when the fight happened. Totally uninterested in my mare and her injury which needed vet and stitches and making a huge fuss trying to find an injury on the other livery's horse. He had one tiny nick which she was fussing and washing and spraying with stuff while I was waiting for the vet for my mare who needed her vulva stitched back together! Weird.

Moral of the story.

People are really odd and best ignored.

Don't let her create an atmosphere. It's time for the slightly over cheery "hello, good morning, how are you?" everytime you see her. If she ignores you then that's her problem.

 

[icee]

probably best to knock this on the head now, so it doesn't escalate down the line and cause further unpleasantries,

i'd ask her in private if everything is ok or not, see if you can clear the air just for the sake of being civil. people can be weird and get weird grudges/ideas in their head.

 

[Trouper]

Yes - communication is the key here. Talk to her and try to clear the air. If she does not respond then you will just have to accept the situation I am afraid.

 

[dorsetladette]

Just speak to her - she might just be embarrassed that her horse is a t##t and doesn't know how to deal with it.

In the space of 6 weeks I lost a horse due to a kick in the field and then had my other horse kick someone else's and do serious damage. The other owner from the first incident was awful and tried to hide from me, ignore me, even rang mutual friends to try and find out who was liable while I was waiting for the vet. The other owner from the second incident seemed fine, I was there when it happened, I called her, cleaned the pony up, told her to call vet on route, lent her my trailer to get pony to vets. Once pony was home I had a call from the husband, he was demanding I pay for the vet bills (and his time) as it came out of there holiday money. The pony wasn't insured (not my fault) I refused and refused and stood my ground. It got really nasty and I was still grieving for my old boy. So I eventually caved and offered a one off payment of £140 which at the time would of been the excess of the insurance had they bothered to insure their pony.

This isn't meant to be a horror story, what I'm trying to show is that I've seen both sides of this scenario and it can go sour very easily if let. She might be worried about possible financial implications or just worried about what has been said about her horse. She may have blocked you on facebook because she has asked those questions and doesn't want you to see. Have a chat with her privately - it could be that she just has the wrong end of the stick. At least you will know where you stand.

 

[Goldenstar]

I would ignore it and say Good Morning how are you etc when the opportunity allows .

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I would just ignore her are you really bothered about what she thinks, I wouldn't even waste thinking time on it.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

Ignore her, she is the one whom should be apologising to you. X

Why are you worried about her? Just get on with doing whatever you go to the yard to do and leave her to do the same. Just say 'Good Morning' as you go past her and leave her to it.

 

[paddi22]

just playing devils advocate, were you talking and complaining to other liveries about her horse? could she have overheard or gotten an impression people were talking about her. in her shoes I'd imagine it's difficult to move to a yard and you are suddenly being talked about negatively. this mightn't be the case at all but I'm just imagining why she would suddenly block you and be weird about what is a very a very common issue. had you's discussed it at all?

 

[Shilasdair]

Who cares what her problem is?
Horse people (aside from me, obviously) are all barking mad. The less contact you have, the better.
Top tip - find new liveries' names asap then block them on FB before they arrive at the yard. If asked, say you don't use FB.

 

[CanteringCarrot]

People are weird. If you think it worth your time and energy, then approach her. If not, just go on with what you're doing.

I've seen this before though, people take it so personally when field accidents happen. Or when herd dynamics go a certain way.

In the beginning of the field season my gelding would come in with the odd superficial scrape, but I didn't say anything as he plays and the herd was just getting back together again. No one was being outright dangerous. However, another livery would nearly faint when their horse had a scratch and would make a fuss.

Or another time a livery got scared when our two big young WB's would play and no longer wanted her horse in with him and acted totally strange toward me. Like, what? They act like you would've murdered their mother or something.

I understand when herd dynamics don't work or when horses are horses. How on earth do I blame someone for that?

But then I think, can I really convince these people that take it so personally not to? Is it even worth my time? No, not really.

 

[CanteringCarrot]

Who cares what her problem is?
Horse people (aside from me, obviously) are all barking mad. The less contact you have, the better.
Top tip - find new liveries' names asap then block them on FB before they arrive at the yard. If asked, say you don't use FB.

?

Maybe also wear an anonymous mask around the yard so no one even knows your true identity.

 

[9tails]

Idiots like that just get ignored by me. I'm on a large yard though, so ignoring a few people doesn't make much difference to the number of people I can socialise with if I wish.

 

[tristar]

the poor little sod

 

[PapaverFollis]

I also was wondering if you had said something in frustration and upset that some other stirrer of the pot has wilfully misinterpreted and passed on to the other livery.

Even so it's by the by. Just stick to "good morning""good afternoon""goodbye" and ignore it. If approached about it by anyone just make it clear it's water under the bridge. And don't say anything at all about the livery to any other liveries. Anything you say will most likely be twisted and fed back to her.

 

[Lois Lame]

I agree, it could so easily be that some other person is stirring up stuff, either through having the wrong end of the stick or being somewhat dense (or just liking drama).

 

[18hhOlls&Me]

Hi,

A new livery moved on to the yard I’m on recently, all was well and good we are DIY and our horses got on well in the field until a mare was introduced into the heard (it was geldings only)
The new liveries horse started to go out of its way to target my youngster to the point where he would canter across the field to just go for him while he was grazing. My boy was pinned in a corner of the field back barrelled over and over again, kicked into electric fencing and kicked into a big tree. My boy is 3, 14hh and a rescue he is timid around other horses and keeps himself to himself. The other horse is 18h older with a full set of shoes. my boy ended up coming in lame and covered in cuts and was generally unhappy in the shared field.
I requested a field change for my lads safety and well being which my YO was happy with but the livery seems to have taken offence to this, they give me funny look, they go out of their way not to speak to me and they have blocked me on Facebook.
I know horses will be horses but this was more than a pecking order battle. What I can’t understand is why she would be so angry at me when I did what was best for my boy which doesn’t effect her in any

Am I missing something?

Thank you for reading if you got this far, I’m just really confused and it’s causing an atmosphere at the yard.

Obviously I don’t know the dynamics of your yard but it sounds like typical ‘new girl/boy’ testing. It’s such a shame this kind of bullying by cliques of other liveries goes on. I haven’t experienced it for a long time as I think it reduces as you mature and I deliberately seek out yards that are smaller where people are friendly but crack on with their own business. I don’t know your age etc but it’s an unfortunate aspect of the horsey world and has caused some to give up altogether, don’t let this happen to you. It’s inevitable that there will be discussions about incidents, but if they have excluded you from a social media group that keeps everyone up to date on the yard day to day, that could mean you missing important information. I would talk to the YO confidentially and ask their advice, and just keep doing your thing enjoying your pony, until then I would avoid a direct confrontation with said individual or individuals; blocking you on social media IS bullying and if they don’t get the response they want they will likely eventually leave it alone. If it is a genuine issue between the horses there should be a protocol put in place to deal by the YO or manager when issues between horses turned out together occur. If your pony is genuinely injured perhaps they were worried you might try and claim against them. Again, obviously without being there it’s hard to say objectively about an ‘atmosphere’- maybe try and make friends with another livery who isn’t involved, you don’t need to be best friends with everyone on the yard, but you do need to be civilised with each other when the animals safety is at risk. Good luck xx

 

[18hhOlls&Me]

????

 

[Scotsbadboy]

Lucky escape, she has shown her true colours early which means a win for you. Ignore her, she is miserable!

 

[Equine_Dream]

Ignore her, she is the one whom should be apologising to you. X

Agreed. I had a similar incident with one of mine. New livery arrived and turned her horse out with mine. Her horse took an extreme dislike to one of my geldings and was full on attacking him constantly. Found my boy covered in cuts, bites, and his fetlock up like a balloon.
I went to the yard owner and asked if the new gelding could be moved. After all my 3 were settled and happy in the field with the other horses. Yard owner agreed and new horse was removed to a different paddock.
The other livery is lucky you aren't presenting her with a vet bill to be honest....?‍

 

[scats]

If it’s annoying you, I’d just ask her if something is wrong and could you sort it out? Maybe someone has told her that you’ve complained about her horse or she’s overheard you say something and taken it the wrong way?

Failing that, just continue to be cheery and civil and hopefully she’ll get over it. Or ignore her, but I tend to find it’s easier to kill people with kindness!

 

[doodle]

There is a livery at mine. Used to be good friends with her. I don’t know what I have done but I offended her. She started talking again briefly then stopped again. Been about 2 years now. I started off getting upset and keeping on saying breezy hellos. Now I don’t bother. She is gradually working through the yard with more and more people being on the not speaking list. She still chats away with yo of course. Also had the being blocked on social media. It did hurt as she used to be a friends but her huge chip on shoulder is alienating herself and I now think “whatever”. But I will no longer bring in her horse when left alone.

 

[Spotherisk]

[QUOTE="Shilasdair,
Top tip - find new liveries' names asap then block them on FB before they arrive at the yard. If asked, say you don't use FB.[/QUOTE]

Awesome idea, really should do this every time I start a new job/move house too!!!

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

A friend was determined she knew whose horse broke my horse’s leg, but I could not have cared less, the horse was injured, then pts, but I didn’t blame anyone or their horse, it’s pointless.

You turn out in a herd, horses may get injured. Then you ask the yo to move paddocks or whatever, it’s not personal and if this woman ha taken against you because her horse hurt yours, then she’s not the kind of person you want to be mates with anyway, so not a problem.

 

[chocolategirl]

Hi,

A new livery moved on to the yard I’m on recently, all was well and good we are DIY and our horses got on well in the field until a mare was introduced into the heard (it was geldings only)
The new liveries horse started to go out of its way to target my youngster to the point where he would canter across the field to just go for him while he was grazing. My boy was pinned in a corner of the field back barrelled over and over again, kicked into electric fencing and kicked into a big tree. My boy is 3, 14hh and a rescue he is timid around other horses and keeps himself to himself. The other horse is 18h older with a full set of shoes. my boy ended up coming in lame and covered in cuts and was generally unhappy in the shared field.
I requested a field change for my lads safety and well being which my YO was happy with but the livery seems to have taken offence to this, they give me funny look, they go out of their way not to speak to me and they have blocked me on Facebook.
I know horses will be horses but this was more than a pecking order battle. What I can’t understand is why she would be so angry at me when I did what was best for my boy which doesn’t effect her in any

Am I missing something?

Thank you for reading if you got this far, I’m just really confused and it’s causing an atmosphere at the yard.

People are odd like this I’m afraid. On my yard, I had one girl who witnessed another horse rip her horses rug, and from that moment on, she never spoke to the owner of the rug ripper! The irony was her own horse was a prolific rug ripper but she wouldn’t believe it?‍?‍ I never mix mares and geldings here as I believe it can invite trouble, but at the end of the day, owners are not responsible for how their horses behave when they’re in their field. I try to group horses specifically though to avoid as much trouble as I can. Hope your little pony is ok ?