New Mare+new yard+immediately in season

[OxfordHacking2025]

Hi, I have a mare, new to me and new to the yard, we've been together about 6 weeks now.

In quarantine she was fine, as soon as she was turned out, 2 other mares, she came into season and has seemingly had a monster season. Which I know is typical for a new mare on a yard plus this time of year. She's been on Oestress for a couple of weeks now.

She has also become extremely attached to her field mates (one more than the other), if she's left in her paddock alone she's loud and running around. If she comes in without them she box walks and throws herself around.

She is also not a fan of me yet! I'm struggling to find her relaxing "thing" to bond with her, my previous pony was a sucker for scratches and clicker training. She's not yet keen on scratches, I've been learning equine massage to see if this is more successful.

Caveated with I 100% know all mares are unique but I suppose I'm looking for some reassurance on other people's time for bonding with mares and that there is light at the end of the "season tunnel"!

Plus any tips for helping her manage being away from her friends, I've been sticking with the principle of little separations and not always making it for "work"

 

[Midlifecrisis]

It could take years but don’t give up yet. Get into your routine, keep doing it and accept it ll take time for her to settle and I’m sure she will. I’d also say don’t necessarily “blame” the behaviour on hormones. I’ve had mares for years…all different but fabulous to own and manage.

 

[smolmaus]

I agree, there is still sooo much time for this to naturally improve as she settles.

Some scattered thoughts:
Can you spend time with her in the field where she relaxed with her friends? Being attached to herd mates is normal and natural, especially not liking be left alone. I know it's not always practical to make sure they are NEVER alone but does she have to be left alone in the field or can she be brought in with the others?
I find my mare easier to work with (still not 100% happy all the time!) if she is tied up rather than stabled to be tacked up etc. She will also box walk when stressed but if she's just tied outside the stable she doesn't feel as trapped even though she is actually more restrained.
They do need to be relaxed to enjoy a good scratch. I find that if they don't actively lean in to a scratch, you will get further by stopping and respecting the "no thanks" than keeping trying. If they want a scratch they will show you where!

 

[mariew]

Mares coming into season and triggering others off too I find is entirely normal with a new here mate.

Just take what time you can, try not to feel like there's a certain time by which something has to happen to take the pressure off. Also not all mates love being touched. What was she like when you viewed her? Mine is 6 ish months down the line and now accepts being brushed but doesn't love it. This was mainly achieved by lick things (the herbal ones, not likits) and treats tbh.

 

[OxfordHacking2025]

Thank you all, really reassuring!

You are all absolutely right I need to take any concept of a timeline out of it and just take our time!

I’m just back from seeing her today. Deliberately no “work” to just make it a nice, calm interaction involving a good amount of bribery via treats.

She wasn’t the best with me in her stall BUT overall she was a lot better being away from her bestie who was in the school. After turning her out the second field mate was taken in (leaving her alone). I stayed with her to see and she called once, had a little trot and then when back to her hay, which is big progress.

I hung out with her in the field too with a few treats, that was good advice. I used to do that a lot with my precious boy so it’s a good habit to get back into with her. Again I’m keen she doesn’t connect seeing me with leaving her friends and then understandably want to avoid me.