New mum- finding the time to ride!

SNORKEY

SNORKEY

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I've been pinned to the sofa for the past hour and a half now with a sleeping baby on my lap, knowing I need to vacuum, wash up, get washing out the machine, and finally get three horses mucked out and in once hubby's home to look after baby, then I've got to make dinner.
Ladies with baby's or young children how do you find the time or energy to ride still? I've got one that needs riding and bringing back to fitness so I can sell him but its just not happening :(
 
hello,
how old is your baby ? I would say leave the vacuuming, and do the washing up later, invest in a slow cooker and bags of ready done veg. or let husband cook dinner. does your horse have to be fittened up to sell or could you sell him as he is and let someone else do the fittening ? It is so easy to spend such times thinking of all the things you need to do but I was given some invaluble advice when my daughter was tiny which was you will never look back and wish you had cuddled them less - value every moment you can hold them while they sleep, however hard it sounds the horses will be there when this tiny baby phase is gone, it lasts such a short time, enjoy it and realize you are not super woman ! failing that is there a safe place you could put your baby in the car seat while you ride and still see them ?!
 
I remember very well i being hard to get into a routine so I know how you feel. I was quite lucky because my little girl has always been good at sleeping, so I could time things for after her feed when she was napping. At the tme I didn't have a school, but it was June so I was able to mark one out in the field, and she would sleep in the pram, I needed to leave hacking out until someone else was about at home. Also if I couldn't get to ride I would lunge with her in a baby carrier, also did a lot of dog walking like this as well.

Good luck, I think you will be fine once you get a routine that works for you, take a bit of trial and error to get there though.
 
Thanks, she's 4 months old, if I take up the yard I get just about enough time to do what I need to before she wakes up, but not to ride. I don't have a school either and the fields so wet at the mo to ride in. I thought about selling my boy in his current state but no one would be able to try him out very well due to my field. The only time I seem to get to ride is the weekend when hubby's home but he's going away to work for a month in a few weeks time so I won't even have that.
I've even offered free riding on my local Facebook page but had no interest.
I know this time with my LO is very precious but I feel pressurised to get my boy fit and ready to sell in time for the summer when people will want to buy.
 
Don't be hard on yourself, it's not easy and does take a while to get into a routine. Would your LO settle in a sling so that you could at least lunge for the time being?
 
Oh I do feel for you! I have to say that I sold my boy when I fell pregnant with 1st and did not buy another until he was 9, daughter was 4 and I was back in full time employment due to time and money - mainly time!!

I still find it very very hard but son is now 12 and plays golf all the time, OH also plays golf all the time and daughter has her own pony and is very patient! Helped by an iPad Mini!!!
 
I have a sling but my horse is a big boy and a bit of a fidget tacking up, I wouldn't trust him with her in her sling.
I also tried selling him when I was pregnant, but due to bad shoeing he went lame, he's been bare foot and on a low starch and sugar diet since October now and is much better.
Il just crack on as best as I can :)
 
I know how you are feeling OP, my little boy is nearly 8 months old now and I felt the same as you and still do at times.

All I can say is try not to be too hard on yourself or get stressed about it, your life and priorities have changed in a huge way, things can't be exactly how they were when you only had to consider yourself.

Things do get easier as your baby becomes more independent and happy to amuse themselves.... Then you'll miss the times when you would have to cuddle them all day.

Once my baby began to eat solids I found it freed up a lot of time for me as I could leave him happily with my mum or OH, I now get to ride roughly 4 times a week which is pretty much what I was doing before he came along. :)

If you don't have family to lean on have you considered nursery? It might be too soon for you to want to do this but in a few months when they are interested in playing more, it might be something to think about and the weather will be better by then too.
 
I know the feeling too well OP. I have a 19 month old, i manage a livery yard, clean the holiday cottages on site once a week and i've also rather stupidly agreed to take over the running of the rug wash on site too, i have my own horse, one on full livery for 90% of the month, and the YO's youngster here for the winter.

What i do is get up at 6am, (whilst partner and baby are still asleep), muck out all 3, make up a shedload of haynets, chuck out the full livery, hay water and feed 'my' two (they don't go out until lunchtime as they're on a rota in the bark pen which 2 other horses use in the mornings). go back inside for about 8am, by which time baby is usually up and helping daddy shower. I then take over, OH goes to work, baby goes back down for a nap at about 11am, i go back out (armed with my trusty baby monitor) and do odd jobs like harrow the school, sweeping, skipping out my two, then i bring in the morning bark pen lot at about 12. If this doesnt take too long, this is when i ride/lunge in the school. i've also figured out how far i can go up the driveway or skirt the fields within range of the baby monitor, so i'm not totally limited to the school. if i havent got time i'll put my two straight out in the bark pen, else i'll do it after ive ridden. baby wakes back up, lunchtime, i do house jobs (the dishwasher is my new best friend, i couldnt live without one now!), paperwork, baby goes back down for a nap at about 4 ish. I go back out, bring all 3 in, give feeds, and again, if i'm feeling lucky, i'll lunge/loose school as theres not usually enough time to ride now as this is his shorter nap. then he gets up at about 5.30, we play for a bit, i make dinner, he has dinner late (say 7pm), then goes to bed by 8.30pm. I go back out onto the yard for last checks, give most of the DIY liveries extra haynets and lock up, then i have a glass of wine, and am in bed by 9.30!!

I don't have a very supportive OH, as he's just set up a new business so he's pretty much only home from between midnight and 9am, so if i want to ride i have to get up early, be really strict with myself and try to keep to as much of a routine as possible (which is easier said than done with regard to the LO, as he's always changing his nap routine!). OH is very rarely here on weekends, but when he is he offers to have the baby for me whilst i go for a hack. what i have been doing in the last few weeks is getting up at 5am, doing all my morning routine and then going out for a hack with one of the liveries at 7am, getting back for 8.30, which is actually really good fun (especially when i dont tell OH and he doesnt even notice ive gone!!), but with the clocks changing soon i dont think we'll have enough light for a while.

so.... it is possible. I find that it's just a matter of thinking ahead alot, a bit of forward planning helps with regard to the horses and the house. Especially on my cleaning days, as i have to drop LO at the MIL's which is an hour 45 min round trip, ontop of everything else i have to do! so things like making up feeds in advance, haynets, large water buckets which on the odd occasion can be topped up instead of completely emptied and refilled (although i hate doing this, so its not often i'll leave it and i never do that with the liveries!), my horse stays in his turnout rugs rather than chopping and changing with stable rugs, the youngster is unrugged. I always go out and hay and water them all first, then turn out the liveries that need turning out, that way if baby wakes up i know i can leave the others in and they're hayed and watered, and it won't harm them to stand on a dirty bed for an extra hour.

keeping on top of the house also makes life alot easier, things like when you get up to go and make a cuppa tea take something out to the kitchen with you like a nappy that needs to go in the bin, a dirty plate, etc, always mopping up spills when they happen, generally tidying as you go helps alot. and.... my philosophy regarding housework is....dont stress if the house isnt always clean, as long as its vaguely tidy its better than nothing!

Hope my ramblings make sense, and theres something of use for you in there somewhere!
 
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Are you breastfeeding? Is that why you've been pinned to the sofa for so long? This might sound surprising but I have never, ever, not once allowed my baby to fall asleep or sleep on me. Do you have a lieflat carseat? I found mine a God send. He goes in there for his naps, it fits on the pram as a carrycot or goes in the car which means I can move him to go with me without waking him. I only have 1 horse at home but I did all my chores that way. If you can get yours to settle in one it would allow you to ride or lunge as well. Its a crappy time of year though and much easier once the clocks change and weather improves. As others have said, dont be too hard on yourself as you have to do what works for you :)
 
If you're only trying to ride to get him fit to sell and it's another 'chore' that you're putting pressure on yourself to do I'd really try and consider other option (could you pay someone to exercise him or offer someone a percentage of his sale price?). Very difficult to motivate yourself to to any chores outside in this terrible weather/ mud - in the first few months I had plenty of days when emptying the dishwasher was a major achievement !!!

I wanted to ride for my sanity, it was some much needed me time (after spending 3 months in hospital when he was born!), so I went at silly times am or pm when OH was around or left him to sleep in the house with a baby monitor on while I did 20 mins in the school. This wouldn't have been possible without major motivation.
 
Ginge Crosby I don't know how you do all that, you must be shattered!
I'm not breast feeding and my mum does the horses in the morning, just putting mine out though. I'm too tired in the mornings as my LO is still keeping me awake a lot in the night, especially at the mo, I don't usually let her fall asleep on me but she's going through the 4 month wonder week at the mo and is really unsettled.
I do have the Jane trider push chair with a lay flat car seat, trouble is she doesn't stay asleep long and if I take her to the yard its all muddy and windy up there at the mo, it will be better in the summer.
I just find that I'm spending all my time mucking out that's it.
 
Polos Mum said:
If you're only trying to ride to get him fit to sell and it's another 'chore' that you're putting pressure on yourself to do I'd really try and consider other option (could you pay someone to exercise him or offer someone a percentage of his sale price?). Very difficult to motivate yourself to to any chores outside in this terrible weather/ mud - in the first few months I had plenty of days when emptying the dishwasher was a major achievement !!!
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Actually i'd have to agree with this - if you're only trying to ride so you can get him in a fit state to sell, it is much harder. I went through a phase not long after the baby of wanting to sell my boy (horse haha!!) because he was just too much like hard work - i wanted something i could just get on and go nicely, jumping, dressage etc, whereas my boy is more difficult and needs regular strict work to go nicely. like polo's mum said, i wanted to ride to keep me sane, but when i did get a chance to ride him i'd just end up tearing my hair out as he was such a pain. So i put him up for sale, had one awful viewing and then resigned myself to being stuck with him forever unless i put the work in. Now thats what i'm doing, and actually i'm thinking i might just keep him as he's going nicely and we seem to be getting a good tune together.
 
I find spending more time at the yard with the ponies is better for my sanity, they dont moan when dishes and hoovering arnt done and I dont have to look at the mess, plus fresh air is better for you anyway right? My OH is a clean freak so if I leave all the boring chores/mess he ends up doing it all himself! Do you have anyone you can take to the yard with you to watch the baby while you ride? Fresh air always used to knock my son right out for the count so hoping bump will be the same!
 
SNORKEY said:
I just find that I'm spending all my time mucking out that's it.
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tbh thats all i feel like i do most of the time. but then you get the odd day (usually when we get a glimpse of the sun) when i ride and i think 'actually, this really was worth dragging my a*se out of bed at stupid o'clock for. For what its worth, my day is entirely governed by the LO's naps - i'm dreading when he cuts them out completely because i'm not sure how i'm going to get everything done. But i spose by then he'll be out 'helping' me on the yard alot more, or going to nursery.

it really does get easier - mine didnt start going through the night until about 6 months, and that was only because my OH got seriously ill and spent 3 months in hospital, so i had the chance to get him sleeping through the night 'my way' with no 'help' from OH.
I was so concerned with what everyone else was doing - my friend had a little girl 2 months older and i was constantly comparing him to her which was stupid really, with a 2 month age gap. But even when she was at his stage, she was going down at 6pm and sleeping through till 8am, whereas my LO was going down at 9pm because it was the only way to get him to go through the night til 7am. so there's no hard and fast rules, every child is different, and you just have to do what suits you. (and don't worry about what anyone else thinks!) x
 
It's really hard Isn't it! My baby is 10 weeks old now and I have no choice but to take him with me to the yard morning and evening. He tends to nap from about 9 to 11.30 so I ride 1 and muck out, or ride both while he sleeps in his pram beside the school. I only hack at weekends or if my mum or MIL is free in the week.

I don't know what I would do if there wasn't a school though.
Sometimes I feel guilty about dragging baby out in all weathers (esp as a 2 week old in all that snow, and when I inadvertently dipped his foot in a water bucket when I was breaking the ice...) but I do think all the fresh air does him good. There was something on the news about it being good for babies to sleep outside in subzero temperatures.
Oops I'm rambling again...
 
I had no childcare to ride, but I was on a yard. I used to do a swop, I'd take someone's kid/teen out hacking (combination of teaching/helping & adult supervision) whilst they babysat. I just used to time it round naps. Obviously much easier on a yard, & I'm not suggesting you approach random vague aquaintances & leave your child with them. But maybe have a think & see if there's someone you already know & trust. Other way I used to ride was swopping with other horsey mums, taking it in turns to babysit whilst another rode. Other option is a horsey teen, if you already know one with younger siblings or cousins. They stay at edge of field with sleeping baby in pram (or push it on a hack depending on how safe the route is) whilst you ride, halfway through you swop & teach them. Other benefit of this is you then end up with a jockey who's riding you trust.
And of course, 4mnths old is fine for baby to have a quick sit, that way by 2/3 you can ride with them on lr!
 
I don't have anyone at the yard, I rent some stables from a neighbour up the road, some days my mum will look after her in the afternoon but I feel guilty leaving her for too long. It already takes me an hour just to do what I have to. My boy really does need more work as well, last time I rode him but only had 10 mins to ride him around the field as it was getting dark, but he felt like a rocket about the explode and I started getting nervous, which is another reason why I'm selling him, he's too fizzy for me, I've got a 2yr old cob who is going to suit me much better as he's so laid back.
 
Is there anyway you can turn him out 24/7? Its been the ol way e been able to cope with a 6 year old and 13 month old!

Baby has one nap a day, between 12 and 1.30, so that is my yard time- I can poo pick, groom, and ride in field if Ive been organised and got chores done on time! It does get boring jut riding in field though so one a week hubby has them so I can have a hack.

Of course using naptime for horses though instead of housework means evenings are spent trying t do house wok- motivation is failing though- I siting on H&H while house looks like a bombsite :rolleyes:
 
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We leave them to walk in and out of the stables on dry milder nights, but its been so wet lately they've been in at night. I think in a few weeks time once they are out 24/7 it will be easier. I'm doing them in the morning tomorrow so I'm hoping she will sleep in her pram and I can tack up quickly and ride!
 
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