New mums - how long do you get to ride?

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SnowandSunshine

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Advice required from any mums out there! I have 3 horses- 1 semi-retired just hacking out and 1 field ornament. The third is the only one I can get out and jump/xc etc.

Will I have time to keep my old girl ticking over (hack out 1 or 2 times a week) and actually exercise/school my gelding enough that he's fit to do the odd XC/SJ? I have thought about loaning him but he's quite a sensitive boy. He is an ex-pacer and if he is put under too much pressure he will get upset and go back to pacing which I really don't want.

My mum is nearby and is happy to look after baby for a few hours a couple of times a week so I can ride. Husband will be able to do the honours when he's not at work.

How long did everyone wait til they were riding again post-birth and were you too knackered to enjoy it? I 'think' I will have more time than when working full time but am I just deluding myself?!!

I also think it will help keep me sane but is it just an added stress trying to fit riding in?
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Will be interested to hear the replies to this, my baby is due in October and have no-one locally so OH will do the honour if I'm riding, so will need to stream line those 2 hour weekend hacks.
 
First baby I waited the recommended 6 weeks. Second baby I waited 5 days! This next time I'll probably do exactly the same.
 
It really depends on how you recover from the birth, if you have a bad tear or a ceasarean, if you have any round ligament damage, or if your physiotherapist recommends waiting 6 months before riding etc. Also if you are breastfeeding or not ... as at least at first its not unusual for b-fed babies to feed round the clock so you are somewhat tied to them!

I wouldnt expect anything of yourself in the first 3 months personally - its a huge shock physically and emotionally.

I was back on a horse 11 weeks after giving birth but I didnt do myself any favours physically!

good luck I hope your birth is easy and you are back in the saddle asap.
Cassandra
 
Hi there I am a mum with 5yr old and 2 yr old children and I have to say I find it quite difficult to fit the horses in even with them at home. I try and ride once at the weekend when OH looks after the children but he works long hours during the week and the weekend is meant to be family time so he does get a bit grumpy if I spend too long with the nags.

At the moment my youngest has a nap every afternoon so I can often get a quick school in or lunge with the baby monitor firmly planted in my belt. God knows what I will do when he stops napping. And when the evenings are lighter I can go out after the children are in bed. It always is a race against time though. My children are happy to potter in the garden or yard with me but cant guarantee that they will give half an hours peace to ride without splling something / fighting / hurt themselves / demand food / drink / attention. (I love them really)

My mum will have my youngest once every couple of weeks but I wont ask her any more that that.

You basically need a very understanding OH / childcare. I also work part time so youngest is in childcare on those days and I would nt want to put him in anymore.

Am afraid that for me horses take second place but I know a lot of Mums can and do make it work very well.

Roll on when the youngest starts school and then I will have 2 free mornings a week!
 
I have 2 boys 8 and 6. and 2 event horses. It is hard when they are tiny but it really is what kept me sane. If you can get thru the first 2 years it is much much easier. . . tho i ride at 5a.m when they are sick, school hols etc. I'm sure you'l cope as you have some support, just get back on when you feel like it unless youv had a c-sec. . . I wouldnt have been half as patient with the children if I hadnt been able to escape for a bit!! good luck.
 
TwoBays - Im right there with you. Thank god for someone else who tells it like it is! Its very very hard isnt it. I do know some people who make their kids take second place to horses (strapped in the pushchair in all weathers for hours whilst they school etc) but I couldnt do that.
 
I rode 6 weeks after my first c-section and 5 weeks after my 2nd c-section.

With my first child I moved my horse into assisted DIY and timed feeds so that I could take my son with me. I fed him, popped him into the car, drove to the yard and was able to ride and muck out before he woke up (2 hours max). I either let him sleep in his car seat - with the car parked in view of stable and school or put him in his buggy and had him in the stable or in the school with me - depended on the weather. There were no dogs or cats at the yard and my horse was very well mannered. Hacks were weekends only when he stayed at home with dad.

Second time around was twins so not so easy!! Horse moved to full livery and I escaped 3 days per week when grandma came to help.

Having the ability to 'get away' was very important and I found it made me a better mum! It takes a lot of planning and others at the yard and YO are very good at understanding that plans can change at the last minute because children always come first.
 
Just don't feel guilty for not riding your horse enough - they'll survive!! First time round I was so keen to get back on get horse fit and resume competing. 2nd time after a long wait and problems to have my baby horses don't seem as important as they did before. I am riding 2/3 times pw and really enjoying it but not putting myself under any pressure to get her fit and get out and about. I am just chilling, working on my position etc. Basically do what you feel and don't feel guilty!
 
Hi, I have two babies, one is 18 next month, the other is 13 weeks. First time round everything was easy, or was it just so long ago I have forgotten!

I keep our horses at home so can usualy manage the basic care. We have two non ridden native ponies, my 14.1 and my daughters 15.3. They all live out 24/7 which makes life a lot easier. I feed and check in the morning before OH goes to work, or my big daughter does it before college.

Evie is breast feeding every 2 - 3 hours during the day so I have a 2 hour window in which to get things done. I usualy go out in the aftenoon to give us both some air, I need to get outside for my sanity and she seems to enjoy sitting and watching in her pushchair. If I dont go outside and do a little work I feel more tired if that makes sense.

In my 2 hour slot can I can poo pick, wash feed buckets out and make feeds up, or give the two non ridden ponies a quick flick over or groom and lunge my mare. I stick to jobs that I can stop doing if she starts to grumble and I make sure she is parked somewhere safe and secure. What I cant get done will be finshed by my big daughter, or if not urgent left for the next day. Big daughter exercises her own horse.

ATM I am riding twice a week, usualy a Sat or Sun morning when OH has a bit of daddy daughter time. I make sure I breast feed, then go like the clappers to get groomed, ridden, turned out and cleared up before the next feed. I recently started fitting in an evening one as she is going down at about 8pm - 3 am. I wont ride unless there is someone there to watch Evie. I dont think it will be possible for me to do any more than this for some time but thas fine for me.

I started back in the saddle 4 weeks after birth as I was feeling good but was very sore aftewards! By 8 weeks I could sit to the canter but still feeling a little sore downstairs and quite achy in hips,pelvis etc. Confidence and balance had gone to pot though.

I am now at 13 weeks, balance is starting to return, downstairs is ok but hips, pelvis etc still feel achy afterwards and I am just feeling generaly 'unfit'. This week I managed to jump tiny cross pole (heart was in my throat) I also had a short hack so getting there.

Main thing to remember is that horses wont mind not being ridden, nor will they mind not being groomed, trimmed, clipped etc. Your baby will be a baby for the blink of an eye so dont forget to enjoy it. Before you know they will be at school, doing their own things and then off to uni and you will have all the time in the world to ride.
 
that sounds like my life twobays! its a constant juggle isnt it?!!!!!!!

i have one 3yr old sprog and our own business and 2 horses and no family nearby.

its hard but achievable, just need to sort your childcare out. When small is ok as can do car seat/pram but coming up to a year is the hardest bit as they want to be moving all the time!

get childs name down for nursery/playgroup and have a school with lights - i am constantly at the yard at 6am sneaking out before anyone wakes up. also you will get times when you will not sit on your horse for 2 weeks if child is ill. i also have to designate weekends as family time as OH gets neglected else.

cant wait for little man to start school every morning in september - yipeeeee !!!!!!!!!

goodluck it can be done!
 
Now thats exactly how it is! I smiled as I read it as it could have been me writing it! Especially the bit
"I need to get outside for my sanity and she seems to enjoy sitting and watching in her pushchair. If I dont go outside and do a little work I feel more tired if that makes sense."

During the winter months I get up an hour before everyone else just so I dont spend the rest of day worrying about the poo piling up in the field or hay hasnt been done or feeds and then I know if the day pans out unexpectedly - child is ill - then everything is done and only feeds need to be thrown over fence (which even my husband can do - just!) My horses are well used to having their tea at anything from 2.30pm - 7pm!

It is hectic but wouldnt change it for the world - my horses are my 'me' time and there is just something about being around them which is very relaxing (probably because they dont answer back!)
 
I have twin 3 year old boys (yes trouble with a capitol T!!) I had to loan my mare out whilst pregnant as I couldn't and wouldn't have ridden but likewise wouldn't sell!! I got her back about 2 to 3 months after they were born. I wasn't able to ride enough times a week to progress our dressage so I decided it was a good time to breed from her (something I'd wanted to do for a while anyway). Since then luckily a few people on the yard have offered the use of their horses (they get free schooling sessions and I get to keep in the saddle!) but I only really manage 1 to 3 times a week depending on my shifts each week. Yes I work full time too!! During the winter this reduces to about once a week. My mare will be back in work for the winter and I'm thinking of half sharing her in order that she gets ridden more. Thankfully riding my foal won't be an issue for a few years yet!
 
I'm laughing along with some of these posts - it sounds just like my life!
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It's hectic but it is do-able - The only think that I'll say is that it's easier when they are tiny babies and you can safely pop them in their pram and ride whilst they watch (or muck out or fill nets or any other jobs that need doing) When I first had my baby (he was 2 on Sunday) I was on full livery as I needed to ensure that everything was done for her and she was ok as running my own business and having a new baby to look after, my priorities changed, the horse (who was initially at the top of the list) was relegated to 3/4th in line after baby/business priorites etc

I rode far more when he was a baby than I do now - we've moved to our own place and I have two to look after - We generally get up at 5.30am - I get mucked out and yard done before my husband goes to work (between 7am and 7.30am) Then I'm straiht into the office - usually hit the road at 10.30/11am - once I've strapped him in the van I turn the horses out whilst he watches (he loves this!)

It's all about juggling and working out a routine that suits you all - it's certainly harder when they are older and aren't too happy being strapped into a pram (they want to run around and "help" you - everything takes twice as long and you've got to have eyes in the back of your head! To be honest I've given up trying to ride during the day I'll wait til he's tucked up in bed then OH babysits whilst I ride - Like everyone else though - the horses are your mental break!

You'll love it
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Kate x
 
When I had my youngest, I was probably riding about a fortnight after the birth. I could ride for 20 mins every day during her morning nap. Her morning sleep gave me time to catch my pony, tack up, ride for 20 mins in the school and untack. I would then b/f baby while pony ate, then put baby in sling to turn pony out.

20 mins a day may not sound a lot, but it is amazing how much basic schooling we managed to achieve in that time, laying down a good foundation.
A
 
It really depends on you and your baby - you won't know how you'll feel until the baby actually arrives.

I've been very lucky in that, like many of the other posters, I've been able to ride while my baby sleeps in the car (I used a baby monitor - BT ones have a 150m range). Actually, I think having horses helped us to get into a really good routine - she's 8 months old now and sleeps every day at 9am & 4pm which coincides with when I need to go to the yard.

I didn't get back in the saddle until about 8 weeks after the birth....it would have been sooner but my mare had also foaled earlier that year so I wanted to wait until the foal was weaned. To be honest the stitches weren't a problem (they heal in about a week) but my boobs did hurt...and that wasn't just riding - my advice would be to get a really good bra!!!!

Riding IS essential to preserve your sanity....always has been for me, baby or no baby. On days when you're short of time you could always lunge your boy - 15 mins lunging is as good as an hours schooling!!!

Good luck with the baby btw - when are you due???
 
Gosh it's interesting reading everyone's replies.

Our daughter has just had her 1st birthday and when I was pregnant I was really fussed about how I was going to cope. The interesting thing is that my priorities changed so dramatically after having her that no amount of preparation and considering how it was going to work could have resolved it.

When pregnant my horse was eventing with a friend and throughout pregnancy I swore blind I'd never sell him and he was the best horse ever, etc etc. With the arrival of our daughter and money getting tighter and tighter, when he came back to me some 3 months after our daughter was born, I was back on and riding as normal but I realised it was never going to work and sold him. I was so relieved once he'd gone.

Then, a few months down the line, I was really missing having a horse. My life felt like it had got back to normal once I'd given up breast feeding at 6 months and suddenly I wanted a horse. Thankfully my husband has a young ignorant wild hunter that he offered to lend me for the summer so I've now got back into it.

He's on part livery and I ride either very early in the morning or late in the evening when my husband is home from work and can babysit. My husband loves having a part to play in our daughter's life so he feels a lovely bond of responsibility too. My mother lives miles away so can't help out and my in laws aren't exactly baby friendly.

Our daughter loves coming to the yard and looking at ponies but I think they get used to what they're brought up doing. Because, when she was younger she didn't get left in a pushchair at the yard, I think she'd now get a bit crotchety if I left her whilst riding, etc. Somehow, it'd be different if the horse was at home.

Above all else, it works out one way or another and there's no point fussing too much. I worried for the whole 9 months about how it was going to work out. Much as selling was the most heart-breaking thing to do, it was def the right decision as I'd love to have more children (you'd never have heard me saying that when I was pregnant!) and he was 8 yrs old and in his prime, ready to go intermediate and **. New parenthood, baby-making and eventing at that level just wouldn't have gone hand in hand for me - and yet there are plenty of superwomen out there who manage it very easily!
 
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