Livinthedream
New User
Basic back story...
Like many horsey people, I've loved horses since I was a pre-schooler.
Despite much desperation as a child and pleading day in day out, I didn't manage to buy my own horse until I was into my 40's and although I had various people tell me not to get a youngster, I looked at so many 'experienced' horses that all had either health or behavioural issues that concerned me that we ended up getting an amazing young mare. Touch wood, she's very healthy. Other than a couple of minor field incidents, we've been very lucky with her (so far.. don't want to talk anything up). Only rarely does she nap or pretend she's a giraffe.
We've owned her two years and she is genuinely a lovely girl who seems to want to look after her rider (I rider her and two of my children, one a lot more than the other) and she tries her best with whatever you ask of her. She's not a posh horse but she is very pretty, I'm naturally biased but she gets regular compliments from horsey and non-horsey people. She went from being stabled much of the time to living out 24/7 and other than the mare state of death when it's heavy rain, storm force winds and ice on the ground, she seems incredibly happy with her living arrangements.
We didn't get our mare to make friends, although I do think it'd be nice to get on with people well enough that we could all be generally 'noice', help each other out and be supportive when needed. It took a very, very long time to find someone to ride out with, during that time we'd had a run in with a livery who seems to be known for her outbursts and false accusations (and yet she still seems to be in on every event organised and always has someone to ride out with when she wants it). Sadly, having someone to ride out with only lasted a few weeks and it only happened a handful of times before a better offer came along for them (they were offered the use of another owners horse so family members could ride out together) and since then we seem to have been dropped, we rarely hear anything and when we try, it's hard to arrange a convenient time anymore. There aren't many lockdown rules being followed lately. It sometimes seems like they are deliberately trying to be difficult as they'll watch us tidy up and then they'll do whatever they need to do, make a mess and just leave. There are few chores to do, we're super lucky but there's a couple of weekly chores over winter and another that needs doing every 3-4 weeks, both seem to be nearly always our job as everyone else has an excuse as to why they can't, well we could all say that but the jobs would still need doing.
So we've been back to doing our own thing for a while now. When the other owners are there it's very full on/ over the top, 'darling', 'my sweet', 'my love', all tripping over each other to feed each others horses, change rugs, things like that, sometimes riding out together but despite us helping most of them out, we've seen them walk right past our horse when she's had a rug strap hanging down. We arrived one day when she'd got her rug caught and two other owners were then coming out of the field with their horses and said nothing. When any combination are down there, they rarely speak to us, usually completely ignore us and only try to chat to us if we're the only other ones there. When they are chatting to each other they will periodically start whispering together and some days I find myself trying to arrange to get there when I think no one else will be there, it's pretty hard to organise when with our jobs.
Of the owners we know about, we are one of the ones who live the furthest away from our horse, many live in the village or only a village or two over.
Our jobs, like many others, have been incredibly stressful in recent months and the horrible atmosphere has brought me to tears a few times, just in the last couple of weeks and I'm not normally someone who cries easily. Our mare is very happy and very settled and we're incredibly grateful for that and that we have lots of land for hacking and arenas to ride in.
I know it's difficult with the pandemic going on but looking back over photo albums of when I was a kid and young adult, it was so easy to get chatting to other horsey people and before you knew it you'd arranged to meet up for a ride, get help with the horse you were responsible for if you couldn't get there, you would often get together away from the horses too, even if it was just going to the pub for a drink and chat. We definitely bonded over sweat, bruises, horsey smells, fun and horse poo. Over the year and periods of not being in the horsey world have meant I lost contact with most of those crazy, random, lovely people and the ones I've remained in contact with are spread around the world, none nearby unfortunately. Many of them have been able to enjoy making the sort of friendships we enjoyed in the years when we bounced better and I admit I'm envious as I'd like to have some local horsey friends.
Any ideas and suggestions? Maybe it is me? I'd be really grateful for help.... thank you
Like many horsey people, I've loved horses since I was a pre-schooler.
Despite much desperation as a child and pleading day in day out, I didn't manage to buy my own horse until I was into my 40's and although I had various people tell me not to get a youngster, I looked at so many 'experienced' horses that all had either health or behavioural issues that concerned me that we ended up getting an amazing young mare. Touch wood, she's very healthy. Other than a couple of minor field incidents, we've been very lucky with her (so far.. don't want to talk anything up). Only rarely does she nap or pretend she's a giraffe.
We've owned her two years and she is genuinely a lovely girl who seems to want to look after her rider (I rider her and two of my children, one a lot more than the other) and she tries her best with whatever you ask of her. She's not a posh horse but she is very pretty, I'm naturally biased but she gets regular compliments from horsey and non-horsey people. She went from being stabled much of the time to living out 24/7 and other than the mare state of death when it's heavy rain, storm force winds and ice on the ground, she seems incredibly happy with her living arrangements.
We didn't get our mare to make friends, although I do think it'd be nice to get on with people well enough that we could all be generally 'noice', help each other out and be supportive when needed. It took a very, very long time to find someone to ride out with, during that time we'd had a run in with a livery who seems to be known for her outbursts and false accusations (and yet she still seems to be in on every event organised and always has someone to ride out with when she wants it). Sadly, having someone to ride out with only lasted a few weeks and it only happened a handful of times before a better offer came along for them (they were offered the use of another owners horse so family members could ride out together) and since then we seem to have been dropped, we rarely hear anything and when we try, it's hard to arrange a convenient time anymore. There aren't many lockdown rules being followed lately. It sometimes seems like they are deliberately trying to be difficult as they'll watch us tidy up and then they'll do whatever they need to do, make a mess and just leave. There are few chores to do, we're super lucky but there's a couple of weekly chores over winter and another that needs doing every 3-4 weeks, both seem to be nearly always our job as everyone else has an excuse as to why they can't, well we could all say that but the jobs would still need doing.
So we've been back to doing our own thing for a while now. When the other owners are there it's very full on/ over the top, 'darling', 'my sweet', 'my love', all tripping over each other to feed each others horses, change rugs, things like that, sometimes riding out together but despite us helping most of them out, we've seen them walk right past our horse when she's had a rug strap hanging down. We arrived one day when she'd got her rug caught and two other owners were then coming out of the field with their horses and said nothing. When any combination are down there, they rarely speak to us, usually completely ignore us and only try to chat to us if we're the only other ones there. When they are chatting to each other they will periodically start whispering together and some days I find myself trying to arrange to get there when I think no one else will be there, it's pretty hard to organise when with our jobs.
Of the owners we know about, we are one of the ones who live the furthest away from our horse, many live in the village or only a village or two over.
Our jobs, like many others, have been incredibly stressful in recent months and the horrible atmosphere has brought me to tears a few times, just in the last couple of weeks and I'm not normally someone who cries easily. Our mare is very happy and very settled and we're incredibly grateful for that and that we have lots of land for hacking and arenas to ride in.
I know it's difficult with the pandemic going on but looking back over photo albums of when I was a kid and young adult, it was so easy to get chatting to other horsey people and before you knew it you'd arranged to meet up for a ride, get help with the horse you were responsible for if you couldn't get there, you would often get together away from the horses too, even if it was just going to the pub for a drink and chat. We definitely bonded over sweat, bruises, horsey smells, fun and horse poo. Over the year and periods of not being in the horsey world have meant I lost contact with most of those crazy, random, lovely people and the ones I've remained in contact with are spread around the world, none nearby unfortunately. Many of them have been able to enjoy making the sort of friendships we enjoyed in the years when we bounced better and I admit I'm envious as I'd like to have some local horsey friends.
Any ideas and suggestions? Maybe it is me? I'd be really grateful for help.... thank you
