New yard new horse

[Bernard72]

I have been loaning for 5 yrs. 2 different horsers. Decided to take the plunge and get my own. V different to my normal cobby type preference however an opportunity came up to lwvb a Tb x. Met her a number of times. Quite chilled, very brave but a mare and has a opinion. Tbf used to geldings but hey ho..rode her. A bit more forward than I was used to but I am confident I can adjust..

Got her home. Settled in straight away. Settled in new herd amazingly. I expected some teething problems..been off grass for 3 months due to winter..now in a 5 acre field with lush spring grass!! Oh yes!! She is like a kid on cola..running to field calling for her mates and totally no focus at all!! I am wanting to takes things slowly. Allow her to adjust. Do more ground work, spend more time with her before I get on her..rode her once in school. V fresh..

Anyhow my point is the pressure I am feeling at yard. Lots of opinions.. keep her in check. Yank her head collar. Wouldn't let mine get away with it. Let her know who is boss!! I feel more pressured by them..I know they have years of experience but I feel I want to work on the bond/ ground before jumping on for 2 hr hacks. She is full of fizz and not focused at all at min.

Am I being to sensitive and soft! ?

 

[Bradsmum]

Your horse, your choice but she does sound like she needs some work. The problem is if she is a handful being led out to grass and she is constantly getting away with bad behaviour (if I've read this right), then it will be difficult to get her back to good manners.

 

[Bernard72]

I have got my regular riding instructor coming weekly. Starting with long reigning and a very good lady who teaches natural horsemanship coming as well. I feel really uncomfortable managing a horse by yanking it around and " teaching it who is boss" do you think I am being naive?? I have had her a week and just not into all the advice I have from the yard..they have had horsers for years so know their stuff. But it's very much about yanking the lead rope, using the whip to move them and showing them who is boss! I know I have to be firm but dint want to use whip on her..I.prefer a calmer assertive approach but mocked at the yard and feel everyone is watching me!

Your horse, your choice but she does sound like she needs some work. The problem is if she is a handful being led out to grass and she is constantly getting away with bad behaviour (if I've read this right), then it will be difficult to get her back to good manners.

 

[SOS]

What does your instructor say? I assume if they are coming out weekly then they have been or are due imminently. I’d listen to them over random liveries at a yard.

That said horses absolutely must know basic manners in order to be safe to handle. I’d also suggest she needs to be in work to help focus that energy.

 

[Bradsmum]

If she pulls when being led to field and a correction is needed, perhaps she would be safer in a bridle. I certainly wouldn't yank her - she would soon find she was stronger than you! However sometimes a firm hold of the rope so she's not towing you might give her something to think about. As for using a whip- that too can be effective but it's not about hitting your horse but a light touch or even a suggestion with the whip will move a horse over but normally a hand/voice and or body movement will be sufficient. Hope your instructor is able to help. Perhaps when others on the yard see you have a regular instructor and hopefully see an improvement in your horse's behaviour, they will settle down with their advice. Good luck.

 

[Kaylum]

She will be excited and full of life. Do you have a school you can start loose schooling in. Do some join up and bond with her that way?

 

[planete]

Sorry to disagree Kaylum but I would not loose school this horse for safety reasons after seeing one go through the school's post and rail fencing injuring herself quite badly. Even with a steadier horse it should only be done by somebody who thoroughly understands the technique. I know many yard owners who ban loose schooling too as out of control horses can damage the school surface.

 

[Wishfilly]

She's your horse, so you should do as you please with her BUT with lwvtb, I would be very keen to make sure you try at least the basic things you want to do with her before the first payment is due - e.g. Ride in the school, hack her out alone and in company.

It sounds a bit like you are scared to ride her - in which case as she is on lwvtb, it makes more sense to send her back and find something you are a bit more confident with.

It's also worth bearing in mind that some natural horsemanship techniques can actually be very stressful for the horse. It's not always "kinder" than having clear, firm boundaries in place.

 

[dogatemysalad]

Totally agree that having numerous people voicing opinions is unhelpful. However, not all natural horsemanship mentors are useful. The label doesn't mean much. In my life, the best trainers have been the ones who understand horses and by experience know how to minimise stress and undesirable behaviour.
Regarding yanking a horses head. There shouldn't be any need to do that. Walk quietly beside your horse, don't react when they go too fast or bounce around. Keep your lead rope still and keep walking at your pace. The horse may yank its own head against the rope, but if you are consistent, it will learn that its making itself uncomfortable for no reward.
Good luck with your new horse. It's a steep learning curve which we all go through, even your fellow liveries who now proclaim to know best.

 

[VRIN]

If you are confident that your instructor is knowledgeable and has a proven track record then thats the voice to listen to.

 

[stormox]

She will be excited and full of life. Do you have a school you can start loose schooling in. Do some join up and bond with her that way?

I dont think loose schooling is a good idea, control is needed. I have seen one being 'loose schooled' -an oxymoron IMO - that sliced its tendond skidding to a halt at the wall, and another slipping and breaking a leg.
I actually think you need to ride this mare, combined with groundwork if you like, the longer you leave riding her the more she will forget what she knows.

 

[paddi22]

I don't know if you have the kelly marks book called perfect manners, that's a great book. we used to get a great natural horsemanship guy down to a yard years ago and the first thing he looked at was how obedient a horse was when the rider was leading it. that forms the basis of the relationship between the two of you and transfers to your ridden work. if she is unfocused with you leading her, she will be unfocused with you riding her as she is paying you no attention. I have been on yards and seen people being dragged around by horses and frustrating as it is, they ARE probably trying to be helpful as they can see what the basis of your issue is and they can see that it's fixable. but when you have a lot of people judging and throwing advice at you it can be very frustrating.
I agree with the other poster that you need to get your instructor to look at you on the ground, and also it would benefit the mare for your instructor to start riding her and getting her back into work mode again.some horses just are easier when they are in proper work and focused.

 

[rabatsa]

Reading your opening post there are several things that jump out.

1 - The horse is not settled in the herd otherwise she would not be running and calling.
2 - She has an opinion. This comes down to the first point and she probably feels that she has to look out for herself as she does not think of you as her safe place.
3 - More forward than you are used to. Some of this will link in with number 2.

The more she is forward/opiionated/unsettled than she is the more she will be stressing and she will cause you to stress and become wary. This is a very easy way for you both to lose your nerve and confidence in each other.

Be prepared to admit that this might not be the horse for you.

 

[cauda equina]

I don't know if you have the kelly marks book called perfect manners, that's a great book. we used to get a great natural horsemanship guy down to a yard years ago and the first thing he looked at was how obedient a horse was when the rider was leading it. that forms the basis of the relationship between the two of you and transfers to your ridden work. if she is unfocused with you leading her, she will be unfocused with you riding her as she is paying you no attention. I have been on yards and seen people being dragged around by horses and frustrating as it is, they ARE probably trying to be helpful as they can see what the basis of your issue is and they can see that it's fixable. but when you have a lot of people judging and throwing advice at you it can be very frustrating.
I agree with the other poster that you need to get your instructor to look at you on the ground, and also it would benefit the mare for your instructor to start riding her and getting her back into work mode again.some horses just are easier when they are in proper work and focused.

This - 'You ride the horse you lead'
A useful exercise is to do lots of stop/start inhand in a safe, non-exciting environment (ie not on the way to the field, at least initially), using as little pressure as possible on the rope, and making sure that your own focus is properly on the horse

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

Sorry to disagree Kaylum but I would not loose school this horse for safety reasons after seeing one go through the school's post and rail fencing injuring herself quite badly. Even with a steadier horse it should only be done by somebody who thoroughly understands the technique. I know many yard owners who ban loose schooling too as out of control horses can damage the school surface.

Just what I was thinking - recipe for disaster imo

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Just start doing some proper work with her to get some.e of the excess energy out of her, then hopefully she will be easier to lead to the field, I don't get all this bonding crap it's a horse not a best friend, if your nervous lunge her then pay an instructor to get on first and then have a few lessons a week to get your confidence.

Natural horsemanship has it's uses but I don't get the continued chasing around with sticks loose in the school, I don't class it as proper work and I don't think a lot of horses do either.

 

[fredflop]

Just start doing some proper work with her to get some.e of the excess energy out of her, then hopefully she will be easier to lead to the field, I don't get all this bonding crap it's a horse not a best friend, if your nervous lunge her then pay an instructor to get on first and then have a few lessons a week to get your confidence.

Natural horsemanship has it's uses but I don't get the continued chasing around with sticks loose in the school, I don't class it as proper work and I don't think a lot of horses do either.

proper groundwork/NH does not consist of chasing a horse round loose with a stick...

 

[planete]

proper groundwork/NH does not consist of chasing a horse round loose with a stick...

Agreed, but that is how the less knowledgeable interpret it hence my comment about not doing it unless you understand the technique thoroughly.

 

[Kipper's Dick]

Stop faffing about and ride her, Bernard72! She needs work, and won't give a stuff about 'bonding' with you right now. Get out and about and have some fun with her, and she'll start to look upon you as a positive influence in her life. A nice long hack is just what she needs.

 

[Leandy]

You would be best advised to crack on and work her as others have said above. A couple of days to settle is fine and then crack on. You do also need to get her under control. It obviously appears to others that you are not. Especially as this is a LWVTB, you should be thinking about working out reasonably quickly whether this is the right horse for you and, if not, be prepared to send it back. There is usually a reason for a horse to be a LWVTB. Forget the "bonding", it is sentimental twaddle. What you want is a good working relationship.

 

[Birker2020]

Never mind all is not lost. You have just made one of the most common mistakes of horse ownership - someone gets a new horse, usually stables them for a week whilst introducing them to all manner of things and 'to allow them to settle and bond' whist plying them full of hard feed that they don't need whilst not riding them. Or in your case you turn your new horse out into lush spring grass when it's been in the stable for the past 3 months. Rather like letting a child loose in a sweet shop. So it's no wonder you are having problems. You are lucky at this stage she will let you catch her!

I would just push on with working her, never mind all this bonding nonsense. She will bond with you in good time, if she recognises that you are the one feeding her and tending to her then she will soon bond with you.

My horses I've always got on the next day, usually hacked off somewhere on my own. The words 'start as you mean to go on' can't be emphasised strongly enough.

Good luck, hopefully you will have many years of fun.

 

[sportsmansB]

Feed her less
Exercise her properly
DO insist on manners on the ground, whatever way you want that insistance to take but you CANNOT allow her to walk all over you and not be focussed when you are dealing with her. Please try and find a NH person who understands this, if thats the route you really want to go down, and doesn't just want you to bond all softly softly with her taking months about it until you get some proper work done.
If she came from an environment where she was in work she will be carrying fitness and work ethic and won't necessarily know that you are trying to be nice and bonding, and will be wondering where the structure of her day has gone...
If you aren't sure get a freelance rider or your instructor to ride her for you first, until she is tired and listening, and then get on

 

[Lexi 123]

She sounds to much horse for you . I can understand where your coming from since my first horse wasn’t right horse for me .

 

[backonit]

Be careful if ‘she’s been off grass for the last 3 months’ and now on ‘lush spring grass’ her walking all over you will be the least of your problems.

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

Is this the right horse for you?

You sound like you aren’t sure about management and I think you ought to listen to the advice at your yard, sod the bonding nonsense. That comes as you get to know her.

 

[Birker2020]

Be careful if ‘she’s been off grass for the last 3 months’ and now on ‘lush spring grass’ her walking all over you will be the least of your problems.

I know I did think about colic and laminitis.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

proper groundwork/NH does not consist of chasing a horse round loose with a stick...

I do know what it is but judging by what the op was saying I imagined a parelli type person helping out.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Agreed, but that is how the less knowledgeable interpret it hence my comment about not doing it unless you understand the technique thoroughly.

I do realise that I am not stupid but I have seen some of these so called natural horseman instructors and some basically do just that, proper natural horsemanship is just basic common sense.

 

[Scotsbadboy]

Yes, you are being sensitive and too soft. Consider you have over horsed yourself. You've had her three months and not ridden her? Either bring her into work and consistently get on with it, or find something more suitable. It sounds like this is an accident waiting to happen and you have little to no control over this mare. Good luck with your decision, sorry to sound harsh.

 

[stormox]

Yes, you are being sensitive and too soft. Consider you have over horsed yourself. You've had her three months and not ridden her? Either bring her into work and consistently get on with it, or find something more suitable. It sounds like this is an accident waiting to happen and you have little to no control over this mare. Good luck with your decision, sorry to sound harsh.

I think the OP says they have only had the mare a week in their post.

OP the best way to bond with a horse is to ride it.