no jumping down my throat...

Annielusian said:
Just proof that what the OP said is true. Ned did something fantastic today that I never thought we'd be able to do. I wrote the thread, found the pictures...but I couldn't bring myself to press post.
I want to show you and tell you what great things he's doing, but I can't open myself up for another verbal beating.
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Post it Annie :) I for one would be interested! Or at least pm me and tell me what you've been up to, please? :D

One more general point; I get the impression that some people think asking a question on here is the same as asking a group of your friends. It isn't. It is asking a huge number of unknown people (what is it, nearly 60000 members?!) and threads aren't really 'ask a question' 'answer a question' 'thread over' :D :D Just because 10 or 100 people post a similar opinion, doesn't mean they are 'sheep' following a 'favourite' poster, or bullies, just that they share the same opinion ;)
 
jesstickle said:
Of course she can say it. But I don't have to listen to her, just like I wouldn't have to in RL either :confused: Nor does anyone else. Sometimes if you post something people will disagree and just saying 'don't crit me' isn't ever going to save you as people are entitled to voice their opinion. Saying it rather than just moving on isn't bullying someone. It is, often, making a valid point the OP does not wish to hear. Would you rather we all just agree on absolutely everything?
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I don't think anyone's saying we should all agree . . . nor that people should feel they shouldn't respond when they see something that raises a red flag to them . . . that's all well and good as long as it's done in a constructive, respectful way. And, no, you don't have to listen . . . and, yes, you have the right to voice your opinion - again, as long as you are polite and respectful. I think what some people (including me FWIW) are objecting to is the sometimes overly clique-y atmosphere that has become more prevalent lately . . . particularly unnecessarily hijacking threads and using "in" jokes. Most of us have a sense of humour and appreciate a bit of banter, but sometimes it crosses a line.

P
 
Annielusian said:
Just proof that what the OP said is true. Ned did something fantastic today that I never thought we'd be able to do. I wrote the thread, found the pictures...but I couldn't bring myself to press post.
I want to show you and tell you what great things he's doing, but I can't open myself up for another verbal beating.
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Oh, that is really sad. We should all be sharing in your joy.
Fact is, there are cliques (or whatever you wish to call them) on this forum, and I also see some of those people from those cliques have posted on this thread.
The other thing that strikes me is that it is very difficult to have a debate when you cannot see the other person/people and read their body language. You could just put the inference on a particular word, for example, and offend people.
I have been on here for some years and have seen that its not just the youngsters that get slated.
Their are some really nice people on here who are serious about the horses and genuinly want to do what is right for them.
 
TheoryX1 said:
In my opinion the forum is merely a reflection of life itself. Some people you will get long with and will click with, some people you wont, some will annoy the hell out of you, some wont and so on. I dont worry about it, I just sit there and have a laugh at some of the 'hotter' debates, it doesnt mean I want to join in, I just find some if it rather amusing.

I've only had a negative debate to one of my posts in NL, where I deliberately sat on the fence and got hounded because I would not form an opinion on one side or the other. Its my opinion, I am old enough to have a reasonably informed one, and if I dont want to agree with someone, I really dont feel the pressure to do so, so dont even try. Most of the time I get some really constructive advice, lots of help and lots of support. There really are some lovely, kind and helpful people on here.

I agree there has been some pretty silly stuff on here recently. Some I've posted on, most I ignore. There are some posters on here who I avoid like the plague. I see their threads and I may have a look, but I wont bother with responding, as I really could not care less what they do with their horses/lives etc. Some of the younger members have had a bad press recently, but to be honest some of them are so dam condescending that it makes me cringe. There's no point being rude though - Mini TX is the most vile creature under the sun at the moment, so I do understand to a degree. It wont stop me posting about her eventing though and being proud of the little be atch though.

Life is far to short to get hot under the collar about some of the subjects endlessly debated on this forum. If you want to ride a cob or a warmblood (I do both), go barefoot, feed oats, keep your horse stabled 23 hours a day, never hack, spend inordinate amounts of your hard earned cash on matchy matchy, dead sheep and bling then carry on. I dont care, it doesnt affect me personally, and if I want to comment on it I will. Its a forum, we are all free to express ourselves, sometimes we agree, sometimes we dont. Its just like real life!
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^^ this
 
xxMozlarxx said:
Lots of people come on here not understanding how it works maybe ?? They perhaps don't know about the search or as has already been said, are on their phones? In any case, who decides what is a stupid question? You??
This says it all really. :(
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Actually, most topics on HHO come up on google if you utilise that wonderful function before posting on here. Two minutes on google could save a massive amount of time and effort - for both the OP and the posters. Ultimately, once a topic has been discussed a few times, some posters will lose interest and not repeat post on new threads, or not see them entirely - by failing to read old posts, the new OP loses these (sometimes valuable) opinions. If the new OP looked through the older threads first and then posted specific questions as a result of those, the debate would be much livelier and more stimulating for all concerned.

That is just my opinion.

I'm not "old school" on here by any means. I post a reasonable amount, I do have friends on here and we do sometimes hijack posts or entertain "in" jokes. My most recent thread has also been hijacked :cool: :D It works both ways! Like most forums, in my experience, it is daunting at first, but once you chalk yourself out a niche and defend your territory, it's a great environment. It's just like life really - you need to get involved to be accepted into any society. Once you're involved, people tend to accept you for whatever your beliefs are, though they may disagree at times. Some people may ride the "contentious" line more than others - and some people may rile other individuals more than others - that again is part of life.

If you really feel persecuted by an individual or group, there is always the "user ignore function". I have a great deal more respect for those who use the UI function than those who post whiney, attention seeking posts about being persecuted!
 
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Annielusian said:
Just proof that what the OP said is true. Ned did something fantastic today that I never thought we'd be able to do. I wrote the thread, found the pictures...but I couldn't bring myself to press post.
I want to show you and tell you what great things he's doing, but I can't open myself up for another verbal beating.
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This is an incredibly sad post. :( and I almost PM'd you the other day when you took a few bullets on another thread.

I have been on this forum for the last 8 years in one form or another and these posts come up all the time.

The fact that someone feels brave enough to post that the feel they cant post for fear of being criticised etc says it all really. What might seem like banter and fun for a group of people comfortable with their position on a board, for those that are new it clearly frequently comes across as something else.

Nothing changes on HHO, the posters change names but it is the same cliquey mentality on thread after thread.....the same judgemental twoddle on thread after thread and a lack of tolerance to younger members and god forbid anyone thats mother's auntie's grandmother wasn't a PC member in 1907.

I rejoined on HHO as I am looking to relocate to Dorset and need the support of the wider community with finding livery yards down that way but I am genuinely saddened by the fact that nothing changes here.....

Without new blood coming through the boards HHO starts to resemble one of the bitchy livery yards we all like to moan about.
 
I'm often confused when people take the time to be rude on many posts. Do they have so much time on their hands?

Why go on posts and make nasty or demeaning comments?

If someone has 'seen it all before' and thinks a post is stupid - just move on.

I'm a big believer in if you have nothing helpful to say - then say nothing.....
 
When you have such an active forum and so many members, thats quite a mix of people so of course you have to expect some bitchiness etc. You would in real life so its no different here! I think if you dont like the way a thread is heading, simply exit - thats what I do anyway. I'm not saying rudeness on here should be accepted but it will happen, just dont rise to it. Let the ones who want an arguement do that.
 
Annielusian said:
Just proof that what the OP said is true. Ned did something fantastic today that I never thought we'd be able to do. I wrote the thread, found the pictures...but I couldn't bring myself to press post.
I want to show you and tell you what great things he's doing, but I can't open myself up for another verbal beating.
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That's a real shame you feel like that, but if you do, then perhaps this is the wrong forum for you. I don't mean that nastily, just in as much as if you are afraid to share your achievements/problems for fear of getting a pasting, then there are other places to go which are friendlier.
I love this forum, but then I'm not a regular poster. I have my fluffy forum, on which I post all my "look at my pony " pictures, and partake in general banter, and HHO where I go to soak up the vast pool of knowledge and experience (and laugh at the popcorn threads)
IMO this forum has a reputation for being fierce, and as such, people should think before posting. I know I do.
However, there are a lot of very helpful and knowlegdeable (and hilarious) people on here, and that is what makes it so special. I may not post much here, but I read A LOT.
If people do their research, and come on here with eyes open and tin hat firmly in place, I don't see why there should be any problems.
 
Annielusian said:
Just proof that what the OP said is true. Ned did something fantastic today that I never thought we'd be able to do. I wrote the thread, found the pictures...but I couldn't bring myself to press post.
I want to show you and tell you what great things he's doing, but I can't open myself up for another verbal beating.
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What would you be getting a verbal beating for??? I must have missed your forum beatings tbh :confused:
 
I feel that most people here are kind and considerate and are willing to offer advice and support where needed.I have noticed that a few people can be quite bullying,and who give very critical and unconstructive criticism.Some also just want an argument and they refuse to see anything other than their opinion.A good thread as it hopefully make people more aware of how they respond to posters.
 
BoolavogueDC said:
What would you be getting a verbal beating for??? I must have missed your forum beatings tbh :confused:
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Can't say I've seen anything either TBH, apart from maybe the jumping in the snow pic, and there wasn't even much uproar about that!!

I don't get it, if people don't like the forum, just don't come on it!!!!!!
 
BoolavogueDC said:
What would you be getting a verbal beating for??? I must have missed your forum beatings tbh :confused:
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Ooh various things. I can take a joke and I can take being told I'm wrong, but some people take it too far and are downright nasty about it. I'm not the best at explaining things, so I'm sure a lot of stuff I write is taken out of context or read wrong.
I don't ask for false praise, but there's a difference, a HUGE difference between sugar coating and pussy footing around, and being nice. I don't get why people are proud of being nasty, it's not cool :(

People seem to think I can't take advice, but honestly, I've taken all the advise I've been given on this site. Somethings I've tried have worked, others haven't so I just move on.
I do love this site, but it does get out of hand easily.
I just honestly think there's no need to give advise in a harsh way and think you're cool and the more cruel your are about giving your opinion, the more likely people are to do the opposite!
 
Annie, to be fair, 99% of what I have seen is not direct criticism of you or Ned, but genuine safety concerns about the RS you are at. Virtually every video/photo you post shows something fairly worrying - the last lot regarding jumping unfixed xc jumps on snow without a body protector and on a horse with an extremely dangly front leg (although the video looked much better than the pic.) You take the advice aimed at you but you can't interfere with the way the yard runs, I know that :)

I know you don't like hearing the criticism aimed at your RS because you love it there, but no-one wants you to end up having a preventable accident! :)

ETA I have said all this to Annie via pm, but am hoping others will understand that it is no reflection of the work you are putting in with Neddy :D
 
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mturnbull said:
I’m not really sure how to say this as I do not want an argument just an observation I have made.

I tend to be a 'reader' on here and flit on and off from visiting the forum but over the last few weeks I have noticed some of the 'regulars' of the board who I don’t doubt have vast experience in the equine world and will also admit they aren’t 'Mr/Mrs know-it-all’s' jumping down people’s throats when they post.

Whether it to be picking on a younger member which some do need brought down a peg or too but at the same time seems unnecessary when they would benefit more from being corrected rather than the p*ss ripped out of them.

Or it may be to accuse the OP of jumping to the gun or purposely causing an argument with others in a thread because yes we all know we all think our way of looking after our horse is best (and I’m not denying that!)

I personally didn’t join this board to enjoy a good rant or argument but to talk to like-minded people, maybe show how proud I am of my four legged friend or get some advice or different opinions from those who are 'neutral'.

I don’t know if anyone has felt the same and if not I will crawl back into my corner but I just think some people should take a step back and a friendly pill!
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I wish there was a like button on here. A well put post to which I totally see your point
 
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^^ what rhino said annie, although I would guess that it is easy to misconstrue some of the comments as personal I think most of them are just concerned about you and Ned and wishing you well but safe! You don't deserve to be 'picked on' so to speak but I think sometimes things can be taken wrongly both ways, by what you read and what you type so to speak.

I think your RS lets you have lots of fun, but there comes a point where that must not be too much at the loss of safety. With your own you sometimes end up learning by your mistakes and thinking hmm maybe that wasn't the wisest idea.. might have been better if someone told me that beforehand :) , but in an RS situation the feeling is that they should be perhaps pointing this out and are poss made not to in this day and age (I do hope that makes sense).
 
Sorry I haven't read all the posts as each page is taking ages to load. Just to say totally agree with original post - I find I'm posting less and less, as it seems so are quite a few of those who I found so sensible when I joined. Come on people, stop trying to score cheap points and be a bit more supportive and helpful. What might be quite obvious to one person can be a complete unknown to another.
 
ester said:
^^ what rhino said annie, although I would guess that it is easy to misconstrue some of the comments as personal I think most of them are just concerned about you and Ned and wishing you well but safe! You don't deserve to be 'picked on' so to speak but I think sometimes things can be taken wrongly both ways, by what you read and what you type so to speak.

I think your RS lets you have lots of fun, but there comes a point where that must not be too much at the loss of safety. With your own you sometimes end up learning by your mistakes and thinking hmm maybe that wasn't the wisest idea.. might have been better if someone told me that beforehand :) , but in an RS situation the feeling is that they should be perhaps pointing this out and are poss made not to in this day and age (I do hope that makes sense).
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I totally get what you're saying :)
Most are well meaning and I know they're just looking out for me, but some are out to hurt my feelings, I'm sure!

I especially know what you mean about "might have been better if someone had told me before hand!" especially about not wearing a body protector affecting insurance :O I have certainly learnt from that one.
 
What an intresting thread, I have read all the way through, Just some simple questions......?
a) Annie what did Ned do?
b) What's popcorn got to do with anything?
c)What's a troll????

If I could work my computer like I should be able too I would be boring everyone to death with pictures of my horses....as it is I think you're all safe!!
 
Sukistokes2 said:
What an intresting thread, I have read all the way through, Just some simple questions......?
a) Annie what did Ned do?
b) What's popcorn got to do with anything?
c)What's a troll????

If I could work my computer like I should be able too I would be boring everyone to death with pictures of my horses....as it is I think you're all safe!!
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a) He went in a stable ^^ see my thread (Yea, I bit the bullet and did it!) for more info :)
b) I think it's like a "sit back and enjoy the car wreck this thread is going to turn into" or "This is going to be good!" kinda thing.
c) Someone who posts nasty or rude things just to get a reaction.
 
Sukistokes2 said:
What an intresting thread, I have read all the way through, Just some simple questions......?
a) Annie what did Ned do?
b) What's popcorn got to do with anything?
c)What's a troll????

If I could work my computer like I should be able too I would be boring everyone to death with pictures of my horses....as it is I think you're all safe!!
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Annie's thread
http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=516534

Popcorn is a reference to any threads which look as if they are going to get 'interesting'. You get lots of people settling into the thread and passing popcorn and cups of tea about :rolleyes: :D Just silly chat

A troll is someone who is being deliberately inflammatory - pretty much attention seeking behaviour. HHO has a group of trolls who have been banned many a time but keep coming back under different usernames to cause trouble (there are also a few who have been banned a few times but actually add a great deal of experience to the forum too). Sometimes it's just silly stuff but we've had a fake death or two along the way, and a few fake accidents etc. :eek: :(
 
rhino said:
we've had a fake death or two along the way
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Blimey - I'd forgotten about the fake death! That brings back memories :p

I can't remember the circumstances now but do remember the level of investigative skills shown by HHO members was amazing :D

This can be a harsh forum at times, but that's part of its charm :confused:;); Some information is really useful, other posts help pass the time and make me feel better that there is someone out there even more numpty than me :D

Would this be a good time to ask what size saddle I should get for my horse (and then throwing a strop when I am told to get a saddler out as people couldn't even begin to give that sort of advice on here)?
 
I see all points of view and agree (and know!) it is horrible to feel demoralised on the forum, however behind the screen are real people with real personalities and this is reflected on the forum.

As in real life, for every demoralising person there is a supportive and helpful person too- and you often see this on the threads one post after the other! It's a tough world out there and you have to get used to/ ignore silly nasty people, and if your a sensitive soul and take things to heart, then it helps to become a bit densensitized to it as one day you may be in for a bit of a shock :o
 
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