No point hanging up my christmas stocking says hard done by cob

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Mike007

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:(Hi its me ,Bob the "nota"cob. Why didnt anyone tell me! I suddenly find out that there are conditions attached regarding the possibilities of presents. Naughty or Nice, I ,ll give that sneaky old santa "penalty "clause naughty or nice. Apparently the devious old b++++++ makes lists and even checks them twice:eek:. I am utterely ++++++++. If it were just Mike ,it wouldnt be such a problem.I can make him believe anything. :cool:Surely a cob who has led an otherwise blameless life can be forgiven a minor indiscretion. I am not talking about our little crash a few months ago ,and anyway the board of enquiry exhonerated me and put it all down to pilot error.But suppose a cob had a rider who was just getting back in the saddle and the afore said cob forgot for a moment that the rider was still a bit fragile. And say for example they were just walking on a path across the gallops on epsom downs.Would plunging forward over an imaginary 4ft jump followed by a couple of lovely bucks ,then a launch into the air ,spin round and bolt off up the gallops be a deal breaker for example. .....yes thats what I thought. I,m just glad I found out in advance.I couldnt have stood all those sniggering reindeer.At least I got a likit treet from aunty "Rhino"so thats somthing. ........Bob the "nota"cob wanders off whistling "it will be lonely this christmas"
 
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Dear Bob,

I've heard I'm getting a turnip. A turnip. That's it. Not even a Christmas hat or set of antlers like some I could mention.

Still, I like a turnip.

Happy Christmas Bob,

Love,

Mollie xxxx
 
Hi bob. I got a brother this year so we have less presents as I have to share. Share I ask you. Did I ask for a brother? Still I think there'll be treats and I spied a box of apples and pears so we may salvage something and my brother is ok really just don't tell him I said that. I'm sure it'll be fine. Ur human will fix it.

B1 - the miniature warmblood (also not a cob)
 
Hi Bob,

My mum said I am getting a carrot. Just ONE. How unfair is that? And I have been a good girl and not run off with mum for atleast a week!!

She said its her birthday next month and her mum is buying my some matting for my stable. I am not sure even that makes ONE carrot better though, I mean can I eat matting? Noooo!

Smile sweetly at your dad tomorrow and he might sneak you a present :)

G the welsh warmblood (another most definitely not a cob!)
 
Hi, fellow hard done to horses,

I too am joining the 'single turnip for Christmas' gang. What have I done to deserve such neglect and humiliation? It's alright though, while the human is off enjoying her Christmas day I'll be silently eating said turnip and plotting my revenge... anyone up for putting our revenge videos on youtube?

Neglected Soul
 
Hi bob

what are these likit things all about - I got given one for xmas but it's well scarey, I tried snorting at it but it didn't run away, not getting it at all... don't the human understand that I only just started to understand carrots & apples?!?!

Cy.
 
Hey Bob,

I've not busted out through the electric fence for a whole week. That took every ounce of willpower I have. I've got my hooves crossed that my Mum might have forgotten all the other times I've done it this year and get me something nice. And I've got my hooves crossed even tighter that if there is something nice it's not pink and sparkly and cute. Sometimes I think I would like to be a cob. They don't have to do the pink sparkly cute thing do they?

Love, Elspeth the mini Shettie.
 
Dearest Bob,

I too am getting nowt :eek:

Apparently threatening to kick my human and doing the snake head thing is not the done thing. Oh so not the done thing! I went with the "didn't she know I was trying to share my breakfast with her?!" defence, but my actions caused her to fall and break her wrist, which is a Bad Thing :eek::o

So, my dearest Bob-so-not-a-Cob, we shall be presentless together.

I remain your devoted friend,

The (apparently very!) Dizzy Blonde
 
Oh dear Bob

You really haven't got this human thing down have you? All you need to do is a bit of nuzzling and a soulful whinney when they pull up on the yard and believe me they are putty in your hooves:p

My stocking is hanging outside the stable and full of treats as we speak - and I put my human on the floor big style not so long ago.

Hope the nuzzling works.

Happy Christmas

Maverick (another nota cob)
 
Ive heard I'm getting a couple of likits but am only allowed one at a time because I'm apparently on a diet. A diet over Xmas what is the woman thinking?! :eek:

Harvey (another not a (Welsh) cob)
 
You lot getting turnips can think yourselves lucky.

Apparently I'm getting an "Elf Outfit" :(

Whoop Dee fekkin Doo

Arnie (Cob and proud of it ;) )
 
tinselunicorn said:
Bob

That Mike sounds like a right piece of work....:rolleyes::mad:

i am getting Guinness in my breakfast and supper as well as some apples - want to come over?:confused:;):D

Love

The coblet :D
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ooo - me too!!! My mom got me guinness AND a cauliflower! How lucky can a girl get? I did try to persuade her to get me a nice new rug but apparently all of mine are perfectly usable. Hmmpphh - doesn't she know a girl needs a new wardrobe every year to stay in fashion :D:D:D

Roo xxx
 
Bob a job, Bob a Cob......Sleeping Soundly here, now I am a bred in the pink Irish TB, who everyone should talk about in hushed tones (as you would the winner off X factor or Strictly) my dad won the Arc (don't you know.......) I have ended up in some farm in Devon, where I know that they like me (and I sort of like them too) but that does not stop me being a primadonna (for goodness sake it is all about me.....) So I carry on pulling faces, and they have compared to me that snake thing in Harry Potter.......when they feed me I am truly horrible, kicking, biting. But I can't quite help myself enjoying hacking out and doing stuff with them - they do take me on interesting rides, I don't have to the gallop thing every 2nd day, I sort of like my rider, who uses my reins as washing lines, and when I go out in the field which is almost everyday, I get to bully some poor scruffy pony - life is good really - but don't tell the likes of Long Run, Kauto Stone et al (who used to be my contempories, I tell you that now!!)
 
My mum says I got my present early, I'm not convinced...

She got really annoyed at me coming in several days smothered in burrs.

I only roll in them and the mud patch to get warm because she refuses to rug me up as she says I'm overweight :eek: I'm a cob god dammit, I'm meant to have an apple shaped bum!

Last night she said some bad words, one of them was glue, the other chum. Then she made me stand for an hour hour an a half in the pouring rain whilst my sister ate her haynet in her stable, in her nice warm rug whilst she cut all my hair off, with scissors!!!!!

She's been moaning about having a sore thumb today too.

So all I got for Christmas is a really bad hair cut :mad: she cut all my mane and feathers off :eek:

You guys should think yourselves lucky, I'm not even getting a carrot :(

Fudge (who now apparently looks like a proper cob :mad:)
 
Dear Bob

Apparently 'being loved and in a lovely home' is a present I enjoy every day therefore tomorrow is no different

What a gyp

Milo x
 
Dear Bob

We have got a bag of apples and 2 (yes 2) cans of Guinness each!

I will send one over to you to enjoy on Christmas morning.

Happy Christmas.

Chester & Frolic.
 
tinselunicorn said:
Bob

That Mike sounds like a right piece of work....:rolleyes::mad:

i am getting Guinness in my breakfast and supper as well as some apples - want to come over?:confused:;):D

Love

The coblet :D
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No! YOU HAVE GOT IT ALL WRONG. eek,got hoof caught on capitals button. Mike is ok but stands in the way of my career. How can I become a world famous eventer with such a useless owner. But he does give me treets and I do all the nuzzling and whinneying bit. So its not really his fault.But he is a broken down crock(OK I might have bust him up a bit:o).But this father christmas sounds like a right old control freek,naughty or nice!Why cant I do both? How is anyone ever going to spot my tallent if I cant leap about in public for fear that some bearded weirdo will withold my presents!
 
Hey Bob, I have been very good all year but my owner said that the fact that I had a nice warm stable and am not flooded out like a lot of my friends, for that fact I should be grateful and not winge and moan.

Actually the pony stabled beside me felt sorry for me when I had a moan and has bought me some yummy horse treats for me to open tomorrow, I bet that bl**y dog of theirs gets lots of treats:p :p :mad: grrrrrrrrrrr!!!:mad:
 
Bob ! I think your little mishap on the gallops should be overlooked !! I mean how unfair to be punished for such a small thing !.... my mum has bought the horses next door gifts (she thinks I dont know .. right !!) but have I got anything ? no ! one small bite to the thigh a week ago . ok it may have been a rather large bite ! then she goes and blames me for getting shingles from being run down after the little nip (mum says it is the size of a tennis ball but the bleeding stopped pretty quickly and the bruising has gone down loads in a week !).

In my defence I didnt realise mum was stood next to me and I apparently stood on the edge of her foot (cant feel anything in these metal shoes) and she panicked and shoved me really hard in the side to get me off - I panicked and ooops bit her ! when I realised I was mortified - I did try to apologise but thats me struck off the present list this year....

I may have also ripped my friends brand new rug in half tonight but hey ho ! I was out of the running anyway.
 
Hey Bob!
I've been such a 'GOOD BOY' this year as mum keeps telling me, she made dad buy me a massive tub of treats! I'm so excited! I even have some squeezy buns too(ever come across them? They are like little cakes full of all sorts of yummies made just for horses. So delicious that I beg and drool when I see the tub!). Fancy Christmas lunch at mine?

Pie (bluebald
 
Hi Bob,

You can move in with me if you like, apples, pears and sprouts in me breakie and a new likit Swwhiish!!! Also summat for me under the tree. I was a dude in my lesson today though so thats gotta help :D

Hope you can pull it out the bag in 2013 :p:p

Love Buddy the highly bred gypsy hoss'
 
Hey dude,
At least you got a turnip.

I've been great this year. I've helped her off a few times, took her to safety from scary haylege bales (wasn't my fault she didn't hold on).

And what did I get? A haircut and a Christmas jumper - in purple! I ask you!! Humans!!

Todley Sortacob xxx
 
meesha said:
Bob ! I think your little mishap on the gallops should be overlooked !! I mean how unfair to be punished for such a small thing !.... my mum has bought the horses next door gifts (she thinks I dont know .. right !!) but have I got anything ? no ! one small bite to the thigh a week ago . ok it may have been a rather large bite ! then she goes and blames me for getting shingles from being run down after the little nip (mum says it is the size of a tennis ball but the bleeding stopped pretty quickly and the bruising has gone down loads in a week !).

In my defence I didnt realise mum was stood next to me and I apparently stood on the edge of her foot (cant feel anything in these metal shoes) and she panicked and shoved me really hard in the side to get me off - I panicked and ooops bit her ! when I realised I was mortified - I did try to apologise but thats me struck off the present list this year....

I may have also ripped my friends brand new rug in half tonight but hey ho ! I was out of the running anyway.
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You...Bit a human:eek::eek::eek::eek:Possibly haloween might suit you better!:cool:
 
Oh Bob, you poor little angel :(

Tell you what, if that grumpy old git (Santa, not Mike) doesn't bring you loads of pressies, I think your dad (Mike, not Santa) will have to buy you even more pressies to make up for such an unfair disappointment. That sounds fair, doesn't it? ;) :D
 
My mum has left me for Christmas :( and my mamar is a scrooge, although I did hear mum say to mamar before she went that I was to have a bucket of apples on Christmas day morning.....And I'm getting 2 weeks off :D
Love Chester (hoping not to go to bostick) the tb so not a cob
 
rhino said:
Oh Bob, you poor little angel :(

Tell you what, if that grumpy old git (Santa, not Mike) doesn't bring you loads of pressies, I think your dad (Mike, not Santa) will have to buy you even more pressies to make up for such an unfair disappointment. That sounds fair, doesn't it? ;) :D
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Thankyou aunty Rhino,especially for my likit treets.Regards to Tam too.
 
Dear bob the not a cob. I am so important Santa should feel honoured to be allowed to give me gifts. I am so confident in my own perfection, it hasn't crossed my mind that my servant littlelegs, or Santa won't bear gifts. So far I have had a small bale of hay all to myself this evening, & will get the same tomorrow night. I have had a proper feed, pony nuts, alfa-a, porridge oats & treacle, rather than the usual substandard hi-fi crap. And tomorrow I shall expect more of the same, & carrots, apples, swede, turnip & parsnip. The mini littlelegs always shares her selection boxes with us too, when she thinks the big littlelegs isn't looking. Of course though, I am superior to you lesser mortals.
Yours self importantly,
HRH 'fats'
Ps- the mini littlelegs pony gets those common likit things, I have too much class to touch them. And a morning brew, & a load more pink & purple stuff. She's really naughty & Santa still comes for her so don't give up hope. Although to hear the mini littlelegs you'd think the pony was a saint, so its possible she's spoken to Santa on the ponies behalf.
 
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