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P3LH

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You will all be aware that one of my dogs, to a foolish eye - looks like a Pembroke corgi but in reality is some form of domestic terrorist who has been out to ruin my life since I brought her home from Berkshire as a pup.

There are many crimes she has been responsible for during her two years of living, many are detailed on here. From presenting OH pants to some very flummoxed Jehovah’s Witness door knockers to figuring out how to get to where the dog food is kept and eating a significant amount of a 15kg bag, with hundreds of similar acts of civil defiance in between: frequently opening the back door to let herself out (which none of us can still figure out), sexually assaulting my elderly rough collie, stealing everything from remotes to house keys and hiding them in her bed, watching as we scour the house.

I could go on forever, but I will leave this here:

We met with friends for a walk in a park yesterday. She vanished off into some undergrowth, rooting around for some time which usually means there’s something which has caught her attention - she’s too clever just to absently mooch. She materialised throwing something up in the air and catching it. Couldn’t make it out at first. She ran back towards us with said object, it was then I could see what it was. The horror. She stopped about ten feet away. Stared me in the eye and dropped said object. The tail was going and I saw the look I know so well - ‘see what happens next’. Before I could act, she had picked up the object and ran off. As fast as ones little legs can go, which is rather fast. Straight towards a group of four quite elderly ladies sat having a coffee in said park.

A chorus of “Ooh a corgi, you don’t see many of those” filled the air. Understandable, I would hazard a guess that as they’re quite recognisable most people seem to get ‘excited’ to see a living, breathing one. I would hazard a guess that most people don’t expect to see one carrying a massive, neon pink, vibrator - big enough to be used as a police truncheon, complete with some sort of rabbit on the end though.

As she believes strongly in communism, she gave it to the group of old women - and then sauntered, not ran, back to us to continue our walk. I didn’t acknowledge what happened.

Soon we will only be able to leave the house in hours of darkness. This is not the first time she has found sex toys - I am starting to wonder if she visits Soho in her spare time.
 

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P3LH

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I was nodding along for the first couple of paragraphs, “oh yes my Lurcher does that”.
Bit have to admit pink vibrator/elderly ladies situation definitely gives the Corgi terrorist a clear lead in the why do I own (and love) this dog stakes.
The worst part is the group were quite specifically selected. There were four tables of other (younger) people she could have gone too. I’m quite convinced she knows more than she lets on.
 

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PoniesRock

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This has made my morning ? I have a Jack Russell who is very much a terrorist at times, creates much entertainment and embarrassment all at the same time. Though she’s yet to top your story! ?
 

P3LH

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Wow. Those leetle beetle eyes are like black holes of mischief.
Am now imagining how many Corgi anecdotes the Queen has ! Probably without the pink chew toy though ??
I can’t cite my sources within the corgi world as you’d be surprised how those with links to the Windsor breeding, and to the late Nancy Fenwick ‘the keeper of the corgis’ - are very mafia like with their silence - but I can assure you some of the royal dogs gaffes made Prince Philip’s pale into insignificance.

As the breed has this strange skill I’ve not found in any other, of reading social situations astonishingly accurately - I can fully believe some of the things I’ve heard especially regarding politics and world leaders.

Although I think it’s the Dorgi’s who Corvuscorax and I may most get on well with due to an apparently mutual low opinion of the current Prime Minister
 

GreyMane

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I can’t cite my sources within the corgi world as you’d be surprised how those with links to the Windsor breeding, and to the late Nancy Fenwick ‘the keeper of the corgis’ - are very mafia like with their silence - but I can assure you some of the royal dogs gaffes made Prince Philip’s pale into insignificance.

As the breed has this strange skill I’ve not found in any other, of reading social situations astonishingly accurately - I can fully believe some of the things I’ve heard especially regarding politics and world leaders.

Although I think it’s the Dorgi’s who Corvuscorax and I may most get on well with due to an apparently mutual low opinion of the current Prime Minister

That's very interesting! ?
I wonder what the Dorgis think of the PM's terrier - who, if the quotes in the newspapers are correct, has a libido to match that of his owner.
 

P3LH

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That's very interesting! ?
I wonder what the Dorgis think of the PM's terrier - who, if the quotes in the newspapers are correct, has a libido to match that of his owner.
There is, AFAIK, only one left now but when it was down to two apparently Mr Johnson did not need the well known rule that you never touch the dogs without asking during weekly private audience :)
 

Cinnamontoast

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Ha, love it! One of mine repeatedly retrieved bagels then burgers one day. There were packets chucked in the undergrowth. Another time, Bear retrieved a baby bunny instead of his ball. Brig liked to toss a dead rat up and down when he found one. Gotta love the embarrassment factor, but yours beats mine by a country mile! ?
 

meleeka

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I think that wins the prize for the most embarrassing dog!

Mine has embarrassed me plenty, like the time when OH had to go into the sea fully clothed because he didn’t listen and didn’t have hold of the lead properly as a swan swam by. It just nonchalantly carried on with its day, with a JRT swimming as fast as she could, but luckily nowhere near catching it. We were at a busy crabbing spot crammed with people. I just pretended I don’t know them ?. There was also the time she put her head in a bush on a campsite and came out with a rather large grass snake. I didn’t know immediately if it was an adder.
 

ycbm

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You will all be aware that one of my dogs, to a foolish eye - looks like a Pembroke corgi but in reality is some form of domestic terrorist who has been out to ruin my life since I brought her home from Berkshire as a pup.

There are many crimes she has been responsible for during her two years of living, many are detailed on here. From presenting OH pants to some very flummoxed Jehovah’s Witness door knockers to figuring out how to get to where the dog food is kept and eating a significant amount of a 15kg bag, with hundreds of similar acts of civil defiance in between: frequently opening the back door to let herself out (which none of us can still figure out), sexually assaulting my elderly rough collie, stealing everything from remotes to house keys and hiding them in her bed, watching as we scour the house.

I could go on forever, but I will leave this here:

We met with friends for a walk in a park yesterday. She vanished off into some undergrowth, rooting around for some time which usually means there’s something which has caught her attention - she’s too clever just to absently mooch. She materialised throwing something up in the air and catching it. Couldn’t make it out at first. She ran back towards us with said object, it was then I could see what it was. The horror. She stopped about ten feet away. Stared me in the eye and dropped said object. The tail was going and I saw the look I know so well - ‘see what happens next’. Before I could act, she had picked up the object and ran off. As fast as ones little legs can go, which is rather fast. Straight towards a group of four quite elderly ladies sat having a coffee in said park.

A chorus of “Ooh a corgi, you don’t see many of those” filled the air. Understandable, I would hazard a guess that as they’re quite recognisable most people seem to get ‘excited’ to see a living, breathing one. I would hazard a guess that most people don’t expect to see one carrying a massive, neon pink, vibrator - big enough to be used as a police truncheon, complete with some sort of rabbit on the end though.

As she believes strongly in communism, she gave it to the group of old women - and then sauntered, not ran, back to us to continue our walk. I didn’t acknowledge what happened.

Soon we will only be able to leave the house in hours of darkness. This is not the first time she has found sex toys - I am starting to wonder if she visits Soho in her spare time.

Oh thank you for the laugh (guffaw, actually) I really needed one of those today ?
 

P3LH

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Thankfully this park isn’t a regular walk or all that nearby - it’s a central dog walking point for friends though. That’s a slight pain.

Should I go there again I will go incognito and in some form of fancy dress - a top hat, tutu & Roy Orbison glasses perhaps? Although that said I may then look rather like I’d fit in at one of these dodgy soho bars that the tank inevitably hangs around in when I’m not sure where she is.
 

Parrotperson

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Thankfully this park isn’t a regular walk or all that nearby - it’s a central dog walking point for friends though. That’s a slight pain.

Should I go there again I will go incognito and in some form of fancy dress - a top hat, tutu & Roy Orbison glasses perhaps? Although that said I may then look rather like I’d fit in at one of these dodgy soho bars that the tank inevitably hangs around in when I’m not sure where she is.

or you could try disguising the corgi? Maybe as a giant pink vibrator?!

????? I love your dog!
 

Supertrooper

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You will all be aware that one of my dogs, to a foolish eye - looks like a Pembroke corgi but in reality is some form of domestic terrorist who has been out to ruin my life since I brought her home from Berkshire as a pup.

There are many crimes she has been responsible for during her two years of living, many are detailed on here. From presenting OH pants to some very flummoxed Jehovah’s Witness door knockers to figuring out how to get to where the dog food is kept and eating a significant amount of a 15kg bag, with hundreds of similar acts of civil defiance in between: frequently opening the back door to let herself out (which none of us can still figure out), sexually assaulting my elderly rough collie, stealing everything from remotes to house keys and hiding them in her bed, watching as we scour the house.

I could go on forever, but I will leave this here:

We met with friends for a walk in a park yesterday. She vanished off into some undergrowth, rooting around for some time which usually means there’s something which has caught her attention - she’s too clever just to absently mooch. She materialised throwing something up in the air and catching it. Couldn’t make it out at first. She ran back towards us with said object, it was then I could see what it was. The horror. She stopped about ten feet away. Stared me in the eye and dropped said object. The tail was going and I saw the look I know so well - ‘see what happens next’. Before I could act, she had picked up the object and ran off. As fast as ones little legs can go, which is rather fast. Straight towards a group of four quite elderly ladies sat having a coffee in said park.

A chorus of “Ooh a corgi, you don’t see many of those” filled the air. Understandable, I would hazard a guess that as they’re quite recognisable most people seem to get ‘excited’ to see a living, breathing one. I would hazard a guess that most people don’t expect to see one carrying a massive, neon pink, vibrator - big enough to be used as a police truncheon, complete with some sort of rabbit on the end though.

As she believes strongly in communism, she gave it to the group of old women - and then sauntered, not ran, back to us to continue our walk. I didn’t acknowledge what happened.

Soon we will only be able to leave the house in hours of darkness. This is not the first time she has found sex toys - I am starting to wonder if she visits Soho in her spare time.

OMG that’s the funniest thing I’ve read in ages ???

your dog sounds absolutely awesome
 
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