Non horsey parents and having horses when you were younger

I can sympathise with the poster who's parents reckoned that horses were too posh for any child of theirs - my own parents were of similar opinions and were astonished when I brought a riding school horse home.

I can remember too comments revolving around "making a rod for your own back" - having to look after one, the expense etc., etc., without anything specific - I was very keen to study agriculture back then and that was criticised aswell - ironically, for being so time consuming - that you could never have a day off from milking cows - and this was ironic because I can only remember going on one properly booked holiday in all my childhood and that was on a shoestring.

I read a book called "A Gift of Wings" it's off topic because the author writes about flying but the cogent theme running through it is - if you have a strong enough desire to do something - you'll find a way - regardless of parental disapproval, money and everything else that can get in the way.
 
I had non-horsey parents who paid for everything up to a point. They would only ever pay for the basics. First pony at 4 years old which after escaping from his field at night was killed by a drunk driver :(. 2 pony at 8 which was too much for me and sold on very quickly. 3rd pony was an angel and my best friend and I still miss her to this day.
At the age of 13 I got a part time job and my parents then refused to pay for anything horse related. All my money was saved to pay for hay, feed, straw etc. etc. etc. I only every asked for horsey items as Christmas presents as couldn't afford to buy them otherwise. In fact I didn't have a saddle for my 3rd pony for a hell of a long time but I learnt to gallop and jump without it and it did my seat and position the world of good. My parents bought my sister a yearling (she who got everthing she ever wanted!) and after 3 weeks she wasn't interested anymore so then I had 2 to pay for. 3 years later my parents decided that I couldn't keep 2 and told me one of them had to go. My old pony was the victim as she was too small for me by then. They then spent that money on sending my sister on holiday to Germany. :mad:
To cut a long story short I eventually ended up with 4 ponies - all of which I paid for myself including the pony that had been sold to pay for my sister's holiday ( I bought her back with foal at foot). Mother used to love to brag about the fact I had 4 but I never had any help from my parents in paying for them or looking after them.
My daughter has had the total opposite. We have 3 horses and she has everything she and they ever need. She has had more lessons and dressage camps etc. etc. etc. than I can count. She isn't a spolit brat as I have made sure that she got involved with all the repsonsibility for caring for them but she really doesn't know how lucky she is. At the moment we are having to have a saddle hand made to fit my mare and that's costing more than 1 of the horses cost to buy 7 years ago!
 
i loan my pony atm . my parents were non horsey((well , my dads dad used to live on a farm and rode a horse to school, my aunt had a horse growing up and my grandma-rip- was horsey)) , but i think molly's worked her magic on them :) even my dad goes all cootchy coo <3 he spoils her :p
They are angels tbh :D Will get up, take me , help put out, muck out ,drive me to stuff. theyre putting a towbar on and buying a trailer for me . theyre even willing to do the horse when im away!?
i love them sooooooo much xxxxxxxxxx
 
cbmcts said:
My father agreed to take me and a friend to a show in a borrowed trailer once - towed us there, parked up and unhitched and left us for the day:eek:showed up about an hour after everyone else had left to collect us - I think I was about 12......:eek: Funnily enough, he was never asked to supply transport again!
Click to expand...

My dad once did that to me at a pc rally, I was riding, went back to find wagon had gone but he'd left a pile of my stuff on the floor!
I didnt start learning to ride until I was 10/11 Id been on a few treks with my horsey aunt, mum or dad used to taxi me to lessons once a week, sometimes they'd watch, then I started helping out a friend of dads with his fell ponies.
I got my first horse aged 15, mum and dad had wrote in my birthday card ''To Lucy from smudge your new owner'' I burst into tears and think they did too!
I am very lucky to have my dad, he pays for almost everything, He bought me a wagon, he let me put my mare in foal, he let me have another horse, then another one... lol He comes and watches me ocassionally too
 
None of my family are horsey but they don't have a problem with my two - A) because they are 100 miles away and, B) because I pay for them myself. Mum seems to think two is too many though - I had a funny conversation with her at the weekend:

Me: "Mum, I'm selling Sandy" (the little ginger girl)
Mum: "Oh that's a shame, at least it'll be easier (read cheaper) with just one"
Me: "Err......"
Mum: "Oh God, what have you bought now :rolleyes:"

:D

They do come and see them when they are in the area, and my little sister will ride with me as well.
 
My Grandparents on my Dad's side started the horsey bug off in me. My totally non horsey parents humoured my obsession by allowing me to ride around on my Grandads huge mare Lady when we visited on occaisional weekends. But when my Grandad returned home to Canada when I was about 10 I was heartbroken.
Mum allowed me to start proper riding lessons when I was about 11 but that was as far as it went. They could never understand my longing for a horse of my own and would never entertain me spending any more time at the stables than was neccessary for my weekly 1 hour lesson.
In my later teens I managed to persuade Mum to come along and have a go at riding and after about a year of lessons she'd actually got quite good but still didn't "get it" so she gave up. (She'd never fallen off and decided that she didn't want too, ever)
I carried on having lessons and once I started work I used to have as many lessons and riding school hacks as I could afford. I could never afford a horse of my own and when I married and started a family my riding took a back seat while I cared for my young family.
Then two years ago I decided the time had come to finally get my first horse. Even though I had the full support of my husband and children at 35 years of age my Dad still felt that I was being stupid. He told me he had never understood my interest in riding and untill recently wouldn't even talk to me about George.
My story proves that even with very unhorsey parents the is still always the chance that one day you will have your own horse. (Even if as in my case it takes till you are 35) x
 
Wow some of you are so lucky on here! Ive wanted a horse since i was about 6 and im still waiting. I remember when my best friend got one and i felt like id die of jealousy. My parents arent horsey at all. My dad only paid for a lesson once a month maybe twice if he was feeling happy haha! My constant requests every birthday after someone asked the question " so what do you want for your birthday" of " a Horse" were never taken seriously. I even dreamt once that my neighbour agreed to let me keep my horse in his shed ( i was young and naive at the time haha) and i woke up and thought it was real and i remember being so gutted when i realised it wasn't true.
So up until uni i had to make do with my monthly lessons and spending any car journeys or country walks constantly searching for horses.
Now i go and make things even worse on visits to newmarket and watch the racehorses being worked early in the morning. What makes up for it is i can draw all the horses i could ever want. but ill never be happy till i can finally have my own :)
 
Mine weren't (and still aren't!) horsey.

They did support me financially when I was young (obviously), and even as an older child but I'm not sure that they were ever that supportive in terms of taking me places.

Of course the financial side is nothing to be sniffed at but I do recall some times where I needed to go walk the XC course the day before and getting taken by random neighbours or people from the village because my parents were at work (probably earning the cash that allowed me to have a pony, so I really can't complain!!)

All in all, I'm glad my parents weren't horsey. It meant I could do my own thing and I completely CRINGE when I see "pony club mums" sorting the jumps for their little darlings at events but yelling at the kid at the same time - my parents were just pleased I was enjoying myself!!
 
yes it is!!! haha was last year when i went riding for the first time after a break of 4 years ha good ole storm..you go there then?
 
My parents grew up with horses and donkeys as work animals(Ireland 1950's where they still had a horse and trap to go to mass on Sundays)so both were more than capable of handling horses.They had however no interest whatsoever in them as pets..and couldn't understand where i had gotten my obsession with the creatures from.
I also had an Aunt who worked in ICU in the main brain injury unit in the country so my mother in particular did not want me having anything to do with horses as she had heard to many tragic stories.

Eventually after years of badgering I was let have lessons at 9.Well that and the fact that compared to attempting to ride our neighbours pony without a clue or saddle(but with full permission from them-kids take joy in watching others fall off) lessons seem the safer alternative..

I was brought to lessons for as long as I wanted to go.No complaints and I went rain,hail or shine.One of my parent,usually my Mam,paid and ferried to and fro..no doubt hoping that the novelty would wear off quickly.It didnt.
Sadly a few years in, I was given a kitten by the riding school.The kitten 2 weeks later ran away and was never seen again..and due to me being a quiet kid and horrified at the thought of telling the lovely instructor that I had failed miserably at kitten ownership when they kept asked about said kitten.. I took the scaredy-cat option and stopped showing interest in riding lessons.So my overjoyed mother-thinking I had finally seen the light didn't push to me continue or ask me why.I regret it now as I would have loved to keep it up and be a more competent rider, but I can see why she didn't encourage me.Other things were going on at the time as well so i expect my sudden lack of interest in my dangerous hobby got over looked.When I was fourteen my mother passed away after a long battle with cancer.

Since then my riding has been patchy at best-various attempts at riding friends horses have happened over the years,i help out with my uncle who is into horses when I can-the ginger ninja and the bay in the sig is are his :)..I can do basics.But time constraints of school and study and work to do at home meant was never got fully back into it.
Not that I wasn't interested or that my dad wouldn't have encouraged me- he was inclined to let me do what ever I wanted as long as it was reasonable.Helped by the fact I was a quiet sensible kid who didnt push boundrys.I simply didn't have time :(
Instead I put my head down and studied my heart out and I got into Veterinary. Incidentally when I got the results was one of the few times I had my Dad give me a hug and tell me he was proud and that I deserved it for all my work :).

Fast forward a few year's and I've been learning the theory in collage and occasionally coming acoss riding horses with some of my friends who do showjumping.I help out at events when I get the chance just to get my horse fix(huntertrials at the weekend :D) But for the moment horse riding has still taken the back seat to education.Most things tend to take the back seat to it in my life,veterinary is more than a tad timeconsuming and the spare time I have I spend with my Brothers(i supervise my younger one most weekend's my aunt minds him during the week) friends or bf.

Next year I am qualifying as a vet(terrifying thought that)...Its also something that I know my mother would have been surprised at.I dont think she every believed I would stick with it and she used to tell me that it was a dangerous job bit like horse riding really.Though it was my dad who got me out doing work experience to prove the point and make sure I knew what I was getting into.He was always very practical like that.
My father never tried to put me off anything.As long as it was reasonable and I worked for it he let me do what I wanted.He passed away when i was in first year of collage but he always told me I could do anything as long as I put my mind to it and worked for it.

So I'm hoping once I get settled somewhere to get back into horse riding again maybe someday get a horse..or a share of one seeing as owning a horse requires a lot of time and constant routine..neither of which Im not sure il have once im working full time in veterinary.

I think part of what Im trying to say in my long rambling response is..Even if your parents don't encouage you they may still be proud and they are doing what they can for you.

TBH I knew from day one I would never be a kid that had a pony.I was told that we have no land to keep one on.They cost to much and need to much work and if I lost interest what would become of said pony then?if i wanted one I could get one when I was older and had proved myself interested and could support the creature with my own money..and tbh as sensible non horse loving people I can see where they were coming from.All of the above was true.

In these economic times horses are expensive luxury.If your dad does complain's try telling him occasionally just how much you enjoy being with horses,or start working towards helping towards the costs of your horse if money is tight.
He may just see horse riding as you are wasting money on a hobby...show or tell him what the hobby means to you.

I no I was lucky.My parent may not have been encouraging per say,I knew they didnt approve at all even as a kid.But they still did let me try and even when they thought I was just having crazy notions..like wanting to be a vet they just let me off to work for it myself .Im grateful for that.
 
yes it is!!! haha was last year when i went riding for the first time after a break of 4 years ha good ole storm..you go there then?
Click to expand...

Ah i thought so! havn't been there much recently apart from a fun gymkhana i did with the uni team but used to ride there last year and will probably go a few times this summer :)
Havn't ridden storm before, used bo ride jazz a bit...when she wasn't too crazy lol :p
 
Mine were very supportive. My dad paid for everything, never moaned once! And my mum came with me to every competition, which was pretty much every single weekend since I was 9 (when I got my first pony which was a surprise, I still remember the day they told me I'd actually got a pony - I'd written "I want a pony so much because..." letters for about 5 years prior). She still comes with me to events even now (I'm 28) as she knows me and my horse so well so as a groom she can't be beaten ;)
 
My parents are non horsey but dad now pays my 2's livery and comes to watch me compete ect! I get lots of support from my grandad who bought me my first pony and everything to go with,and to this dya is still always down with me ,taking me competing and supporting me,taking phots and getting vids. Without him i would of probably gave up,so thank you so much grandypops!xxx
 
My mum rode horses as a child so introduced me to riding and as a child she carted me to lessons and helped me when I loaned. She never let me buy one though as she felt it was too much commitment on my time.

I only found out a couple of years ago that my non-horsey dad had been trying to convince my mum to let me have my own pony. I'm about to get my first owned horse as a 26 yr old and my dad has decided to give me a contribution as he knows how much this means to me and my mum is attending a vetting with me on Mon. I'm well chuffed with my mostly non-horsey parents
 
My Dad was very supportive, took me for my lessons, wangled me work for rides at the riding school at the age of 8! He wasn't horsey at all, but tried to learn as much as he could. For my 10th birthday he bought me a 6 mon th old NF colt from the new forest sales, he so desperately wanted me to have my own pony but couldnt afford one broken so bought me a foal for £50. My instructor/yard owner who i worked for after school etc convinced him that she would help me with him and she loaned me a RS pony to compete etc until he was ready to be broken. He was a fab pony and i had him 18 years til he was pts :(

Dad came to every show with a massive picnic, took 100s of photos and scrimped and saved as much as he could to make sure i had everything i needed. i worked at the RS to pay for his keep and then got a job in a shop when i was old enough. He is still involved now even though he is now disabled after a stroke last year, he comes along to watch my daughter compete at PC when he can and come to the yard once a week with me to see the horses. He is the best Dad in the world and i am forever grateful to him for giving me the chance to have my dream of my own pony.

My Mum was against it and it caused many rows between them! She hated the dirt, the hay and mud than i would bring into the house, the early starts, and the cost!! by the time I was 18 and doing my A-levels she had just about got used to it and would even bring my pony in and feed him on my late nights at college.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top