horsemow1
Well-Known Member
does your partner help with your horses or wont go near at all? Did any of you manage to covert them or is it a no go area. Any one ever left a partner because they got jealous of your horse
non horsey partners will they change
- Thread starter horsemow1
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Housemouse
Well-Known Member
My partner doensn't go anywhere near my horses - thinks they are smelly and pointless and keep me penniless (he has a point).
We've been together ten years.
He is totally cool when he doesn't see me from friday to monday, any evenings and sometimes I leave before he is awake.
Don't expect him to change, but I try to make (the odd) effort to be at home for him. (Politically correct).
Did I mention I have kids to?
We've been together ten years.
He is totally cool when he doesn't see me from friday to monday, any evenings and sometimes I leave before he is awake.
Don't expect him to change, but I try to make (the odd) effort to be at home for him. (Politically correct).
Did I mention I have kids to?
Bens_Mum
Well-Known Member
IMO no they don't change! I've gone from hating the horse to tolerance but he is jealous whether or not he will admit it and it does cause bad feeling on my part as I feel like I have to negociate time at weekends but its that or spinster status unless someone knows where all the horse loving me are?!
horsemow1
Well-Known Member
love it
horsemow1
Well-Known Member
they say i dont like them something iv never been intrested in cant see point in jumping. Racings ok as you can have a bet so its not boring but if u want to go somewhere i guess if i have to take you i will but DOESNT MEAN IM INTRESTED GRRR
Echo Bravo
Well-Known Member
Well I couldn't live with a person that didn't like any animal,so best pick someone that will go 1/2 way,luckerly mine loves the horses and can ride,put up with emptying the mucktrailer,collecting the straw,hay cart in the summer and doesn't freak out when I've said I've bought a foal and takes the 3 dogs for long walks at the weekends Bless him and till he married me, he knew nothing about dogs,horses,cows,pigs and chickens and has taken everything in his stride over the past 42 years and he can fix my crap of a car,the washing machine,tumble dryer,fish pond and is now keen on growing his own veg,but it has taken 42 years
Beatrice5
Well-Known Member
Mine used to throw major tantrums about horses but I just calmly reminded him I have had horses longer than him and last in first out ;0)
We have an understanding now 13 years later - He is work in progress lol!!!
We have an understanding now 13 years later - He is work in progress lol!!!
sidesaddlegirl
Well-Known Member
Mine changed (see previous thread of mine!) now he has his own helmet, 2 pairs of jods and has knicked my new Thorowgood saddle and my Mountain Horse boots that I've only ever worn twice!!
horsemow1
Well-Known Member
funny how some just wont change
Brambridge04
Well-Known Member
When i met my partner, i didnt have a horse (was skint and had to sell few months before we met....) and to be honest, bar saying i'd like another, we never really spoke about horses / routines / time at yard etc....
after a year and a half, i got another, i was a bit dubious as i did wonder if he would get jealous, he didnt like my mare (fair enough, she was a nightmare! reared, bucked, bit, bolted....) and VERY rarely came to yard.
However when i got my new mare, she was unbroken, and he was a god send! He was often my helper from the ground, led me about on her, walked for miles long reining with me, out hacking at first, and dotes on her now. She is very sweet natured and he will often go and do the morning feed / farrier visit / rug change etc if for whatever reason i am stretched for time.
after a year and a half, i got another, i was a bit dubious as i did wonder if he would get jealous, he didnt like my mare (fair enough, she was a nightmare! reared, bucked, bit, bolted....) and VERY rarely came to yard.
However when i got my new mare, she was unbroken, and he was a god send! He was often my helper from the ground, led me about on her, walked for miles long reining with me, out hacking at first, and dotes on her now. She is very sweet natured and he will often go and do the morning feed / farrier visit / rug change etc if for whatever reason i am stretched for time.
Echo Bravo
Well-Known Member
Horsemow1,sounds he doesn't want to change,so expecting you to give up the horses.
Horseback Rider
Well-Known Member
When I met my OH it was probably the only time in my life I didn't have a horse after a year I got one and yes there have been arguments about the cost and time element, but he kind of accepts it now and if horse is ever sick (he has had quite a few colic attacks) he is at the yard like a shot not that he can do anything but he offers moral support. TBH I wouldn't want him to change and start wanting to spend time with my horse because it's MY HORSE and my time at the yard is my time to myself!
Natz88
Well-Known Member
My OH will never like my horses, he doesn't moan as he doesn't pay for them. To be fair to him he is allergic to them . He does make the odd comment, about them being expensive, but he knows I am not listening to him
. He does make the odd comment, about them being expensive, but he knows I am not listening to him HarlequinSeren
Well-Known Member
My OH was the reason I got my horses! He loves my boy, and the girls are growing on him too he's more than happy to help me with them (he even helped with lunging yesterday) and he has commented before that he would love to ride my boy so hopefully one day he will the only thing he's not keen on is mucking out! He does morning feeds for me etc if I need him to as well. And all this from a man who thought horses were "pointless, smelly things" when we first got together, his training is going well
he's more than happy to help me with them (he even helped with lunging yesterday) and he has commented before that he would love to ride my boy so hopefully one day he will the only thing he's not keen on is mucking out! He does morning feeds for me etc if I need him to as well. And all this from a man who thought horses were "pointless, smelly things" when we first got together, his training is going well Jazzy B
Well-Known Member
We are divorced enough said
enough said
sidesaddlegirl
Well-Known Member
I think with my OH, it was a case of "if you can't beat them join them"!
Ollie's Mum
Well-Known Member
When I was getting my pony I was a bit wary as this was going to be a big chunk of time and money just for me as my hubby doesn't ride and I didn't want there to be any resentment. He'd also been told from being a child by his mother (who was terrified of them) that horses were these awful vicious creatures. He absolutely adores Ollie and considers him one of the family and on the odd occasion (such as when I got bounced on my head and knocked out) I said that's it, I'd had enough he just said that Ollie was going nowhere as we'd promised him a home for life. I don't tow but he takes me all over in the trailer and sits and waits in the cold when I go hunting. He also stands at the ringside and criticises us at shows lol! I think we're doing OK. We've been married 32 years and have had Ollie for 10 of them
fidleyspromise
Well-Known Member
I'd only just bought a horse when I met my OH. He knew nothing about horses and came to a couple of competitions, things didn't work out and horse was sold.
We were together for 4 years when I was working at a yard etc and I took one on loan. He met her for the first time after 8 months at a competition. He openly said he didn;t see the attraction but horse made me happy.
Roll on another year (I bought the horse) and it was 3 years into owning her that I considered buying another one. He came with me to view her, had a say in whether I bought her and has seen the process from an unhandled horse to one that he can lead. This (and the ability to view them as overgrown dogs) helped him to understand to a degree why I like them. He is also happy to sort them out for me every 3rd weekend when I'm working, and will happily give me a hand if I need it.
He still doesn't like them as such and isn't horsey at all but he has picked up a LOT of knowledge. There came a couple of iffy moments when I thought I would have to sell one, and his answer was that he'd sell a car and much more before he'd let me sell a pony (and my non-horsey scared mum and horse-hating dad have both said the same).
We were together for 4 years when I was working at a yard etc and I took one on loan. He met her for the first time after 8 months at a competition. He openly said he didn;t see the attraction but horse made me happy.
Roll on another year (I bought the horse) and it was 3 years into owning her that I considered buying another one. He came with me to view her, had a say in whether I bought her and has seen the process from an unhandled horse to one that he can lead. This (and the ability to view them as overgrown dogs) helped him to understand to a degree why I like them. He is also happy to sort them out for me every 3rd weekend when I'm working, and will happily give me a hand if I need it.
He still doesn't like them as such and isn't horsey at all but he has picked up a LOT of knowledge. There came a couple of iffy moments when I thought I would have to sell one, and his answer was that he'd sell a car and much more before he'd let me sell a pony (and my non-horsey scared mum and horse-hating dad have both said the same).
Littlelegs
Well-Known Member
Ex husband didn't like them at all. Bellend
Had mine when I got with ex- partner, he'd come to the yard once a week or so & used to wonder about patting them like overgrown dogs. He always refered to mine as the dog meat & professed in having no interest. However he'd be the first to say 'what time do you need to go & do the dogmeat?' We are still friends, but after we split he didn't see pony for a year even though he'd ask about her. When I bumped into him whistling out riding, was quite sweet to see him run across the road shouting 'hello dogmeat, i've missed you' reckon if we hadn't split for other reasons he would have been a convert!
Had mine when I got with ex- partner, he'd come to the yard once a week or so & used to wonder about patting them like overgrown dogs. He always refered to mine as the dog meat & professed in having no interest. However he'd be the first to say 'what time do you need to go & do the dogmeat?' We are still friends, but after we split he didn't see pony for a year even though he'd ask about her. When I bumped into him whistling out riding, was quite sweet to see him run across the road shouting 'hello dogmeat, i've missed you' reckon if we hadn't split for other reasons he would have been a convert!
SonnysHumanSlave
Well-Known Member
One of my exes is was converted.... and now has his own yard and produces to HOYS standard.
One of my Exes was dumped for saying me or horse..... see yaaa!! haha
and my current, sort of tolerates the horse, hes ridden a couple of times, is good at yard DIY and useful for towing
One of my Exes was dumped for saying me or horse..... see yaaa!! haha
and my current, sort of tolerates the horse, hes ridden a couple of times, is good at yard DIY and useful for towing
AmyMay
Situation normal
My partners have never really been that bothered about the horses (apart from one) - which is fine, they have their own hobbies.
They have also never got jealous of the horse - because they are mature adults with their own interests.......
Louby
Well-Known Member
Ive been with my now Husband for 23 yrs, eeek I was young when I met him lol.
He is non horsey and always will be, I think that is one of the reasons we are still together. Weekend comes, he plays golf, I go to the stables, mid week I am just home later than him. I believe because we have our own interests and dont live in each others pockets, we always have something to talk about and dont get on each others nerves as much.
He will help me though and bring in, feed etc if needed and I do trust him with my boy. My horse loves him
He is non horsey and always will be, I think that is one of the reasons we are still together. Weekend comes, he plays golf, I go to the stables, mid week I am just home later than him. I believe because we have our own interests and dont live in each others pockets, we always have something to talk about and dont get on each others nerves as much.
He will help me though and bring in, feed etc if needed and I do trust him with my boy. My horse loves him
poopickingslave
Member
Hubby didn't know I was into horses when we met......he still married me!!
He does whine about my coblet occasionally, but he'd be there like a shot if anything ever happened to him!! He can happily muck out, change a rug and turn in/out - not bad for someone who was petrified of horses when we met!!
Weekends are a balancing act between hubby and the horse, but during the week works well as he has his interests and I have mine!!
xx
He does whine about my coblet occasionally, but he'd be there like a shot if anything ever happened to him!! He can happily muck out, change a rug and turn in/out - not bad for someone who was petrified of horses when we met!!
Weekends are a balancing act between hubby and the horse, but during the week works well as he has his interests and I have mine!!
xx
katiey
Well-Known Member
My boyfriend was terrified of horses when we first met... bless him would come out and see them with me but touch and help brush them at arms length and give them several metres birth around heads and bums! Now 4 years on he is amazing with them... He walks out with me on hacks, comes to events, has learnt to groom, tack up and i have even had him on one of my horses (just walking down drive way). He helps and supports me so much with them. If he has day off work will muck out for me and bring them in and groom ready for me to ride when i home Helps that my boys love him now... they come over to him in field. I really am lucky with how he has changed and gained confidence around them. Also didnt realise how much they meant to him until sadly one of my boys was pts back in February and my boyfriend actually cried - Love him!! x
So yes there is hope for change
Helps that my boys love him now... they come over to him in field. I really am lucky with how he has changed and gained confidence around them. Also didnt realise how much they meant to him until sadly one of my boys was pts back in February and my boyfriend actually cried - Love him!! xSo yes there is hope for change
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Auslander
Well-Known Member
One of the points my (now ex) husband made in the divorce papers, was that I saw looking after my horses, ny dogs, and my child, as more important than looking after him!!
He was absolutely right
Horses - if you don't feed, water and care for them - they die
Dogs - ditto
Child - ditto
Husband - might get a bit hungry and smelly, but ultimately capable of looking after self
I figured that any man who had a problem with me spending more time caring for HIS child more than I did looking after him was NOT a keeper, and I have been proved right on more occasions than I care to remember!
He was absolutely right
Horses - if you don't feed, water and care for them - they die
Dogs - ditto
Child - ditto
Husband - might get a bit hungry and smelly, but ultimately capable of looking after self
I figured that any man who had a problem with me spending more time caring for HIS child more than I did looking after him was NOT a keeper, and I have been proved right on more occasions than I care to remember!
horsemow1
Well-Known Member
We are divorced
straight to the point
Lockie123
Well-Known Member
hhhmmm, when i met my current OH (we are going through a particularly iffy patch at the moment i must say) i didn't have a horse although had ridden since being a child and was just at an inbetween horses stage. when i told him i was going to get another horse he was not pleased, told me it was a total waste of money, how could i afford it and pay towards the house bills etc and really be-littled what had always been my hobby and my passion. 3 years on, while our relationship is not great at the moment he has changed his mind. He totally gets the attraction now and will come to horse trials etc for a nosey round or come with me to events but mucking out, rug changing etc is a massive no-no. He is happy to lead to and from the field though and has sat on the horse a couple of times once managing a trot! that said, there is still a little bitterness there about the time and money aspect.
Baluga
Well-Known Member
My EX was a townie and wouldn't go near them at first. A few years into the relationship he was well and truely converted and had even started riding - novelty slowly started to wear off and after 5 years he started complaining I was spending to much time with them (to be fair, I have 3 on DIY - it's not quick to muck out and exercise them!!)
He became really resentful about them and was constantly trying to convince me to sell them - So I chose my horses and got rid!
He became really resentful about them and was constantly trying to convince me to sell them - So I chose my horses and got rid!
tinap
Well-Known Member
Mine hasn't we only got Into horses when my daughter started 11yrs ago. He never comes to watch, has been to the yard about 3 times but always seems to think he knows what we should be doing with the pony when in fact he knows jack ****!
He doesn't moan when we ask him to pay for entry fees though but a bit more involvement would be nice
we only got Into horses when my daughter started 11yrs ago. He never comes to watch, has been to the yard about 3 times but always seems to think he knows what we should be doing with the pony when in fact he knows jack ****!He doesn't moan when we ask him to pay for entry fees though but a bit more involvement would be nice
charlene88
Well-Known Member
My partner was never around horses and ever since i introduced him to my horse he has been amazing. Mucking out, taking interest in his feeding but after a year of being around him still isnt brave enough to ride yet. I dont blame him horse can be bonkers at times.