Non horsey people questions

Text to wife: Why have the horses next door got bags on their heads?

Horsey friend: what do you call those girths for horses with studs?

Same horsey friend whilst we were fence judging: that horse has custard on (eventing grease).
 
What are you up to?
Watching badminton.
2 minute pause.
You hate playing badminton?
The horse show.
Oh... right.

And all this from someone who thinks because they've had 5 lessons and can pull and kick they can do everything. Lol.
 
I have an ex racer and constantly get asked when I will be racing him and when did he run in the grand national! Hes retired for a reason and only ever raced 8 times abs never did very well so no way he will be doing the national
 
'You've got a horse? Gosh, you must be so rich!'

Nope, that money pit over there is the very reason why I'm not :D
 
'How much?' In response to my livery costs.

Then, when I point out how much they spend on childcare, 'But that's different.'
 
Cagouled-and-mapped walkers to self: They're lovely. Are they all racehorses?

No, Those two are pointers, he's retired, she's a hunter and she doesn't do much - well she is learning to drive.

Cue TOTAL HORROR. Convinced they'd strayed into extreme hillbilly territory......
 
Hacking out past a lady out weeding in her front garden.

' You people are so lucky being able to ride horses all day'


But the best one was hacking past a group of kids standing outside their house.

'Was he born with shoes on?'
 
I wish I had a £pound for every time someone tells me "I went for a ride in the New Forest once and the horse bolted with me". The New Forest must be full of bolting horses.

I encountered a bunch of young people on a nature walk whilst out for a hack. They took one look at me and scrambled up the bank in terror yelling "look out wild horse".
 
dulcie_dustyxx said:
What are you up to?

And all this from someone who thinks because they've had 5 lessons and can pull and kick they can do everything. Lol.
Click to expand...

I have one of those too -.- I don't know why it annoys me so bad but I've begun to avoid her because of the constant 'my instructor is soooo impressed with me she says I've picked it up so quickly and am a natural she wants me to come and ride her horses'. HAHAHAHA SURE OK!!!
 
scats said:
I love when people at work say "are you going for a nice ride on your horse this afternoon?"- I imagine they think its like a scene from Black Beauty- me cantering bareback across a field with my hair blowing in the breeze.

The reality is that by the time I get off, I'm puce, knackered, have sweaty armpits and my hair is stuck to my head...
Click to expand...

.... & smelling like poo!! :-)

I worked with a guy who thought horses hooves were made of wood!!! And terrifyingly, he had just bought a horse!
 
While doing in hand walking rehab with my pony I passed a dog walker who commented.."I guess the next step is YOU will be carrying the HORSE"
(don't tell my pony that, she'd be saddling me up in a flash!)
 
one that always sticks in my mind is from someone on the yard, I was bringing my horse in one evening and they commented that she had shoes on, yes... "how do they stay on?" - they are nailed in... "omg does that not hurt them??" - noooo....
 
You keep horses? Really?
what do you do with them? Race them? Who's trains them then? I think horse racing is really cruel, are you cruel to your horses?

Oh you do dressage and jumping, Dressage the cruelest thing of all. making them bend their heads like that.

Ok maybe they meant Rolkur, but I am not sure.
 
my friend got some messages from a man in the village where she keeps her horse, which angered me, how she didn't snack him I don't know. It went something along the lines of.

voicemail; I want to arrange for my daughter XXX to come and ride your ponies. Let me know when is convenient. she didn't response.

text; YYY gave me your number. I want to arrange for XXX to come and ride your ponies, this will benefit you as your horses will get exercised without you having to actually ride them.

She then text back to say her horses were not suitable for beginners, so she suggests he contacts a riding school.

I understand that his daughter was about 7 and had never ridden! so how he thinks she'd be good enough to exercise the horses, I will never know! #clueless
 
Archangel said:
I wish I had a £pound for every time someone tells me "I went for a ride in the New Forest once and the horse bolted with me". The New Forest must be full of bolting horses.

I encountered a bunch of young people on a nature walk whilst out for a hack. They took one look at me and scrambled up the bank in terror yelling "look out wild horse".
Click to expand...

Oh yes I have also heard the same story -where are all these treking centres that put novices on huge black stallions that bolt with people (mostly men)?
 
It makes me rather sad that none of my family or friends are interested, so I keep quiet. I know I light up inside when asked about my horses.
From my Dad, why are you paying for lessons when you have had your horse for years? I thought you just got on?
Also I know there is family resentment that I need to see them at least once every day and that I am always skint.
My life and no way would I change it!
 
I can relate to all of these! My partner did tell me when I bought my horse " are you sure she's only 6 she's very big for a 6 year old" haha.

I got stopped by two ladies walking their dogs the other day, told me how relaxed I looked, if only they'd seen me ten minutes earlier trying to get my stubborn mare to walk past 2 awfully scary tyres. I think it was more relief then relaxed! They then proceeded to ask me a million other questions about boots, shoes and everything else in-between.
 
From horsey people:

Can I rent your school?
No, I am not insured.

Do you take in liveries?
No.
But you have two spare stables and plenty of grazing?
No.
But...
No.
 
DabDab said:
Yes, have had most of these, but the 'so how often do you have to go see them then' being the most common.

My favourite was probably when an elderly gentleman stopped me while out hacking to tell me with grave concern that my horse's shoes had all fallen off.....
Click to expand...

To be fair it's not just non-horsey people who get it wrong. My youngster jumped a fence on to the road once whilst I was at work:, A riding instructor from a school up the same road happened to be driving past and very kindly caught her up. My field sharer then turned up to open the padlocked gate and check she could not escape again.

The conversation went :
Instructor: I'm disgusted your field owner has let this horse lose 3 shoes.
Sharer: 3 lost? I don't think so, she only had fronts on this morning as this was youngster's first shoeing!
Instructor: Whoops!.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top