Not feeling good enough

Lauranuup

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Does anyone else have this problem...

Basically.. I have ridden very sparsely the last 5/6years however I miss it an awful lot and am thinking about returning to horse ownership however I keep putting it off as I just keep feeling like I can't ride and that I wouldn't do any horse justice/that I would just ruin whatever I bought. I've never been the most fantastic world beater anyway so I just feel it would be a waste to buy something fairly nice for myself and then ruin it :(

I've been looking for over a year for something suitable to part loan to get me back into it however have not managed to find anything that isn't dangerous and/or crazy!
 

Merlod

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Could you take some lessons beforehand to improve your confidence/technique and then decide on what you want to do and find a horse that will suit?
 

Limbo1

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I am a little like this, what I have now got is an ex polo pony. Very difficult to ruin, fun safe and no pretensions! Once I got I have to ride `properly like on a dressage horse' out of my mind and realize I ride for fun it was easy.
 

Annagain

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I spent a while feeling this with my share horse. It all coincided with a bad time with my horse (not his fault as he was trying to tell us he was in pain) and my confidence was low. I had gone from losing my old boy, on whom I felt invincible, to having a bad time with my new horse and realising I had just been a passenger on my old boy and feeling very bad about it. I'd also known my share horse a long time before I started riding him properly and knew just how good he was!

Share horse is a darling and should have restored my confidence but, partly due to my own insecurities and partly due to a bit of a mean instructor who told me share horse was too good for me and was wasted with me, instead it made me feel useless. In some ways the instructor was right, I've been told my many people better than me that he would have gone at least intermediate with the right rider and possibly even advanced, while I pootle about at 80/90. However, I doubt he worries about it and he does his current job brilliantly so most definitely isn't wasted.

Add to this he was a share horse, I was petrified of ruining him, particularly jumping, and causing him to stop for his owner (my best friend). A few lessons with some other instructors however and I soon realised I was on the right horse for me at the right time and not to over-think it. Also, as he's got older (he's now 19) I've felt less worried about it as he'll need to be taking thinngs more easily anyway. One instructor told me "You couldn't ruin that horse if you tried, he's the happiest, most confident horse I've seen in a long time" and I think that helped a lot. Another pointed out that as he's getting older he might well start to put a stop in but I couldn't let that bother me, I had to realise it would be because of wear and tear. When he did (only the 2nd time he's ever stopped with me in 5 years) he went straight to the vet, He didn't find anything but a few weeks later he went lame with a hock problem so I'm a lot happier about why that happened (now that he's ok again, anyway!)

Would a share horse be an idea for you to ease you back in?
 

muddy_grey

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I feel like this a lot, but I just have to remind myself that she is happy and healthy and could be a lot worse off! Just try to put those feelings into improving if you can, though it is hard. Make sure you find a nice yard where you have support and you'll be fine
 

SatansLittleHelper

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I really feel for you and agree with the others about lessons etc.
I also have some confidence issues and I know it can get you down but I have personally found that taking all of the pressure off myself with my horse that I'm starting to relax.
You WILL be good enough :)
 

Lauranuup

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Thank you everyone for your replies! Greatly appreciated! I agree I think the way forward would be to have some lessons to gain some confidence and then begin the search hopefully! It's actually a struggle though trying to find some decent lessons w/o own horse that aren't just run of the mill!
 
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