Not fitting in at livery yard

[ScarlettRonan_xo]

I feel like I’m not fitting in very well at my livery yard and I don’t know what to do as I love the facilities and they take great care of my horse.

I’ve only been there since last August and recently I feel like there’s a shift in the atmosphere and nobody is really talking to me and I can’t put my finger on why. As far as I know I’ve stuck to the rules, and I’m always considerate about not stepping on peoples toes and always asking permission before using shared yard equipment or sharing the arena’s with somebody already using it. I’ve asked a lot of advice from the yard manager over the months so perhaps she thinks I’m pestering her a bit too much?
I will also ask the other staff about my horse when I see them, e.g if he’s been out in the field that day, if he’s been on the walker, exactly what he’s fed so I don’t clash with adding supplements (his main feed is part of the livery), does that sounds like I’m coming off as demanding? I’m only enquiring about what he’s up to when I’m not there as he’s on full livery.
I also feel that others are judging me because my horse isn’t a competition horse and all of theirs are, including the owners, although I’m trying to school him slowly through the winter so we can compete at low level as soon as we’re able to.

I don’t know how to feel and wondering if I’m just overthinking it, I also don’t feel that I can speak to the owner about how I’m feeling, not because she’s not approachable but I don’t want to make something out of nothing if I am overthinking.

 

[Lois Lame]

This would be a good post to put in the Tack Room section. It will get more traffic.

I'm interested in seeing peoples' replies because I don't know what to suggest, other than maybe the YM thinks you are checking up on her when all you are doing is seeking what you need to know so that you can do what you think is right by your horse.

Sometimes it's just a personality mis-match. I had a doctor for the first part of my first pregnancy who seemed to think I was an upstart whenever I asked him something. I realised it was never going to work and i changed doctors (and went to a birth centre. It was much better). BUT, I am not suggesting you leave that yard as it sounds great. Maybe you just need a bit of better communication with the staff, say why you want to know. Open up a bit. Good luck. I hope everything turns out right.

 

[ScarlettRonan_xo]

This would be a good post to put in the Tack Room section. It will get more traffic.

I'm interested in seeing peoples' replies because I don't know what to suggest, other than maybe the YM thinks you are checking up on her when all you are doing is seeking what you need to know so that you can do what you think is right by your horse.

Sometimes it's just a personality mis-match. I had a doctor for the first part of my first pregnancy who seemed to think I was an upstart whenever I asked him something. I realised it was never going to work and i changed doctors (and went to a birth centre. It was much better). BUT, I am not suggesting you leave that yard as it sounds great. Maybe you just need a bit of better communication with the staff, say why you want to know. Open up a bit. Good luck. I hope everything turns out right.

Thank you for your reply, I had accidentally posted in this section and reposted in The Tack Room, but I don’t have the option to delete this one. ?

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

Do you need people’s approval to be there? Are you the type of person who needs to have friends on a yard? I think maybe you are over thinking this and causing yourself anxiety. Go and enjoy your horse and be with him, that’s what you are on a yard for. Not to be everyones friend.

I never go into a yard and it’s the intention of making friends. If it happens great, however I don’t need to have any as I have plenty of friends otherwise. Some days I don’t want to speak to people, that’s usually the days people want to speak to me lol.

 

[ihatework]

I think you are possibly over thinking things. Remember we are in lockdown, so should be just going to do our horses and not hanging around chatting/socialising. Plus this situation is taking its toll on everyone, it’s most likely people just don’t feel like talking to you.

It’s interesting, I’ve heard lots of non-competitive people think that competitive people look down on them. That hasn’t been my experience at all from the other side of the fence, we are generally just a bit self absorbed and enjoy chatting about competitive stuff. It’s got nothing to do with looking down on or not liking other liveries