not infront of the children!

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blackandwhite

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If you're going to have a huge vent about someone don't do it infront of your tattle tale child. I cannot believe my own child grassed me up! Oh well at least the person in question is now completely up to date with my opinion of them :D
 
blackandwhite said:
If you're going to have a huge vent about someone don't do it infront of your tattle tale child. I cannot believe my own child grassed me up! Oh well at least the person in question is now completely up to date with my opinion of them :D
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Well if they're up to date, surely we get the gossip now? :D
 
My sister when younger went into school having overheard my dad saying "My mummy drank lots last night and was sick in the toilet :rolleyes:" Mum looked like a raging alcoholic :o

She has also done the "My dad said you smell funny" to people :rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
I remember getting very told off as a child... I overheard my mum saying that our neighbour 'talks out of his ar$e'. So one night they were sat outside having a drink in the garden as it was a nice night- I toddle up and tell him exactly what I'd heard while they all sat there :eek:

I was a pain of a little child anyway- but I don't think I knew what I was doing at the time !!
 
I once told my auntie that my mum had called her a cycle path.

They didn't speak again for a while......

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You know after the school holidays in primary school you had to write a report of what you'd done and draw a picture? I wrote once at length about how my dad had got drunk on guinness at my big sisters wedding and had been sick. I drew a picture too :o

If course this happened to be the one time that all the children's reports and pictures were put up in a display in the hall..... ooops!

Mind you it was a catholic school so probably not that out of the ordinary :p
 
My husbands family give very odd and mostly useless presents! My three year old daughter answered the phone to my mother in law and very seriously informed her that yes I had recieved my birthday present and I had hung it in the loft with the others!!! She also whilst at nursery drew a picture of me in bed when asked to draw what 'mummies did' when children were at nursery!!! I'm a nurse and was working nights so technically it was correct but the picture on the wall with all the others had no explanation under it!!! I love being a mum! :)
 
My grandfather died of bowel cancer when us kids were quite young. My sister decided that to die of "a sore tummy" was a very strange thing. So, she told the school teacher that he had been hit by a train. A few days after my mum was at the school to drop us off, teacher came up to her and said "I was very sorry to hear the sad news of your father. It must have been a terrible shock." My Mum said "oh no, we'd been expecting it for a while really"......teacher was a bit shocked herself!!!!! :eek: Then all was explained.
 
My son wrote at school that his grandad had driven through all the red lights and now nanny has to drive! He made it up as he couldn't think of anything else interesting from the weekend :D.
 
When my son was doing GCSE Spanish he had to write about his family. For some reason he said that I took drugs (and sold them) and that his father was an alcoholic. (We're not - in case you were wondering). When my OH and I had to speak to his Spanish teacher on parents evening she asked if we knew what he had written (which we didn't) and then she killed herself laughing as she translated it for us. At least it was done in very good Spanish, and she still has it to show her classes as an example of how to do the project. When our daughter did Spanish recently and had the same teacher, she was slightly mortified when the story was read out and everyone knew it was about her parents.
 
Going to be giggling all day about the cycle path! When my son was tiny we had to have the sister of our usual baby sitter to baby sit one evening. She was unusual looking to say the least as she had some sort of deformaty,so we carefully explained to our son and pre warned him not to say anything about the fact that she was clearly the least attractive of the two sisters. She walked through the front door, the first thing he said was in a very loud voice was " you are very pretty! " it was a tumble weed moment but he did what we said!
 
RLS said:
My grandfather died of bowel cancer when us kids were quite young. My sister decided that to die of "a sore tummy" was a very strange thing. So, she told the school teacher that he had been hit by a train. A few days after my mum was at the school to drop us off, teacher came up to her and said "I was very sorry to hear the sad news of your father. It must have been a terrible shock." My Mum said "oh no, we'd been expecting it for a while really"......teacher was a bit shocked herself!!!!! :eek: Then all was explained.
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haha oh god:D
 
I was in the supermarket the other day and there was a little girl saying to her mum "I need wine" and her mum was telling her "no you don't, you're only 5!!) I couldn't stop laughing.
 
these are hilarious! when I was little, my dad was in the bathroom, and the house phone rang, it was his boss and he asked to speak to him, I loudly and sternly told him ''my dad is doing a poo, its very rude to disturb poo making'' and put the phone down on him :o :D dad was not impressed but he laughs at it now :D
 
I always get in trouble saying things in front of my brother :D

When I was young I told the doctor my mum (who was there too) fancied him :p and when I was really little my great gran called me a little ******er. She hadn't seen us in ages and asked 'who are you?' To which I replied I'mthe little f*@Ker.
 
One of the perks of being a primary school teacher is reading the children's accounts of what they have done at the weekend! A lot include daddy or mummy drinking too much.
Once we were talking in the class about the birds we might see in the garden. I showed the children a picture of a thrush. One child put his hand up and said 'that's what my big sister's got!'
 
Nightmare before Christmas said:
When v v v young and living in london I asked my monkies were allowed on the train!!! The poor bloke saw the funny side but my mom was mortified!
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I did the a similar thing when I was about 3 or 4. I was on a bus with my gran, who lived outside Wolverhampton (and I had only lived in deepest Wales and Cornwall), and I piped up 'why does that man look like a monkey?'. My gran was mortified but apparently the poor chap just laughed it off...
 
I remember as a child going to church the day after the Grand National and telling lots of parishioners how mum and dad had bet lots on the race! They hadnt but caused red faces and me getting a telling off! :p :o

My brother, when going back to school after a weekend and being asked to write "What we did" would often make up stories of the family jetting off at the weekend and doing allsorts when asked by mum, he simply said "We never do anything at weekends so I make it up" luckily the teachers knew he made it up and praised him for having a good imagination!
 
Apparently when I was little me mum and dad were in the queue at a shop somewhere when a huge scary hairy (according to mum) biker joined after us. I looked him up and down and then asked my mum really loudly "mummy why does that man have a pony tail? And why's he drawn all over his arms?!"
 
I love reading these :D

Lol at the tampon one, children just have a way with words :p reminded me.

My sister and I used to dress up in my gran's nightdresses and high heels and do fashion shows. We found tampons in a drawer and asked what they were for and our mum and gran told us they were to go in the back of shoes to stop them hurting. We then did our fashion show with tampons tied to the shoes, dangling along behind us :D
 
We have a neighbour (Farmer.) who used to walk his dogs round the field, he had um 'Gas issues' and would fart alot, loudly! when talking to you, still does now.. he used to talk to my mum and dad over the fence, and us kids..

Mum told me that when I was younger I must have overheard my parents calling him 'stinky s**n'... and that the next time I saw him, I called him it!! :o
 
Ha ha, brilliant! My son, when he'd just started school, had a lesson about relationships and marriage, so of course it being 2012 they covered gay marriage. To which my son piped up in front of the class "I know all about this - I was there when daddy married 'Uncle Russell'." The teacher approached me at the end of school to ask if there was anyone else that needed to come to parents' evening! Needless to say Uncle Russell is exactly that, my husband's brother and he was our best man.
 
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