not infront of the children!

We've always had a very healthy attitude to profanity in our house, so my children found it very funny when their American cousin was drawn into talking about four letter words, and opened up a out the 'word beginning with 'f' that he wasn't allowed to say'... which turned out to be (in a shy whisper)... "fart".
 
When I was younger my mum arranged a family day out at Thorpe Park on a school day. I over heard her telling my older sister she was calling in sick for both our schools so we could have the day off. I went in and said to my teacher "my mum said I have to be sick tomorrow because we are going out" my mum was not amused! We still did go to Thorpe Park though!

I took my young cousin (who was 8 at this time, she has downs so her mental age is younger) to a pub garden, so she could play on the county castle and I could have a drink with my friend. The pub was really busy and we had a big table, an elderly couple asked if they could sit the other side, the elderely man took his top off and he had a huge beer gut and man boobs. My cousin pointed at him and said "big belly" if that wasn't bad enough she added "and boobs"

We left pretty sharpish after that :o
 
I have older siblings by 10 years, so I probably watched a few age-inappropriate shows in my youth. When I was very little, and my sisters were heavily into the Young Ones, we were waiting in the car at a ferry terminal on a hot day with the windows wound down. A couple of police officers were walking down the line of cars for one reason or another. From the back seat a little, but loud enough voice pipes up:

"Hey man, it's the pigs!"
 
We have an old lady who lives next door. I had asked her over for a cup of tea, the kids were upset because she used to tell them off when they were in the back yard, and I must have said to my son, that she would only be over for a little while.

When he answered the door he told her that she only was able to stay 15 minutes. I didn't hear him say this but the neighbour mentioned it. V embarrassing.
 
When I was very small I really struggled with getting my b's and d's mixed up, and generally I was pretty useless at writing and spelling. Every monday at school you would have to write in you're news book what you had done that weekend. I wrote 'I fell off my dick'. I meant bike, but somehow got the letters mixed up! The one saving grace was the fact I had drawn a picture to accompany the sentance, which clearly showed (well as clearly as a picture drawn by a 5yo) a bike. I had the word bike on my spelling list the next week, and Mum has kept that particular news book entry!
 
I went to stay with my friend years ago when her daughter was about three. We went to the supermarket and in the wine and spirits aisle she pointed to the Gordon's gin and said
"Oh look, Mummy's pop!"
 
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