Not looking for sympathy but need to sound off......

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DressageDiva1962

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I'm seriously close to giving up horses, this year has been the worse year of my entire life, I sold my lovely mare in January because I was tired and worn out due to illness and felt she needed to be with someone else who could give her the attention she deserves and she has got a lovely home now despite my regrets about selling her, she's getting as much love as she did here with me and her new owner loves her to bits.

Then months later after a break we bought a lovely IDx and he was a bit sharp but still safe to ride and I started to enjoy life again but we lost our surplus rented grazing quite soon after buyig him and we struggled to find grazing somewhere locally for a horse of his size, so we sold him via word of mouth to a lovely family with their own farm with as much grazing as he needed....and we kept in touch regularly and I often saw him out hacking and we went to visit him.

then we bought a smaller pony more suited to our environment and small holding, only to find when we got him home he wont hack out on his own, we walk him out almost every single day in all weathers to keep him fit and active and help bond with him, he'll happily walk out in hand but as soon as you get on him he refuses to budge.....there is nothing wrong with him......he has a brand new made to measure saddle, he's had physio, teeth rasped etc, but we've since found out at 15 he's never hacked on his own despite the people we bought him off saying otherwise although they wont bring their daughter over to ride him to prove us wrong !!! anyway because we'll struggle to sell him on.......we've found him a nice home with some friends who will love him in an environment that he's been used to and he'll never have to hack on his own again.

then yesterday we received the sad news that the lovely ID who we had to sell due to loss of grazing, broke his leg in his field and had to be put to sleep......I'm absolutely heart broken......and at this point in my life I dont think I can do this anymore.......after 40 years I feel its time to call it a day or have a long break......I dont think anyone can blame me for this...due to a long history of depression I dont deal with stress very well and along with the problems I've been having with my recent purchase, along the death of this lovely horse, the situation has left me feeling very sad and depressed...

I do have two wonderful companion ponies who I've had for a very long time who are not going anywhere and they will continue to be loved and pampered........nothing else to say really other than thanks for reading....
 
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I think you have to try to see some positives:

So many people struggle to find good homes for horses but you have managed to do the best by three lovely animals and found them superb homes, ok the IDx had an accident but that does happen and thank goodness it wasn't down to you to find him and deal with it. You do however know that you and his new owners did their best for him and he was very happy in his environment.

You still have the two loved and trusted companions who make you happy when you let them:)

You began the year too tired and ill to cope with the mare but since then you have been better, you've been strong enough to find the IDx and you were enjoying him, then life stepped in again and you lost the grazing and had to make other arrangements but you got over that and out the other side.

You put plenty of time into bonding with the pony, walking him out will have helped you to feel fitter and better so in a way it wasn't a disaster and eventually you found him a good home where he will do what he's happy with.

2012 is finishing soon, if you can keep positive now you will be starting 2013 in a much better position than you were in at the start of 2012. If you need to take a break from horses then so be it, you still have the ponies and another lovely horse may be just around the corner when you least expect it.

I hope the rest of the year goes more smoothly for you.
 
This might be a daft idea but am suggesting it anyway as don't know that much about your circumstances. Would it be possible to lead out one of your companion ponies when you walk your riding pony? If that was feasible, you could then try riding the pony out while someone leads the companion - perhaps gradually increasing the distance between riding pony and other pony - or, potentially, leading the companion (in a bridle) with you while you ride. I know this may not be possible and is not a long term solution but life can be so hard sometimes and I just wanted to see if this idea might give a glimmer of hope.
 
moleskinsmum said:
This might be a daft idea but am suggesting it anyway as don't know that much about your circumstances. Would it be possible to lead out one of your companion ponies when you walk your riding pony? If that was feasible, you could then try riding the pony out while someone leads the companion - perhaps gradually increasing the distance between riding pony and other pony - or, potentially, leading the companion (in a bridle) with you while you ride. I know this may not be possible and is not a long term solution but life can be so hard sometimes and I just wanted to see if this idea might give a glimmer of hope.
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Hiya, thank you, yes we've already done that and it works but not a long term solution as I dont always have help to do this but thank you for the thoughtful suggestion. I've even tried taking the dog out with me to see if that works !!
 
Sometimes life can feel like you're swimming in treacle and leaves you feeling emotionally drained, i think that at tomes like this its a good idea to be kind to yourself - give yourself a break and some time to regain strength and enthusiasm, you may well feel very differently in a little while, but in the meantime just enjoy your companion ponies for what they can offer and see how you feel in the spring.
 
I know how you feel, life with horses can be such a roller coaster and at the moment I am also in one of the dips. I'm not at the giving up stage because I would be a misery without my horse in my life but sometimes it does get a bit much...
 
Dee O'Dorant said:
I think you have to try to see some positives:

So many people struggle to find good homes for horses but you have managed to do the best by three lovely animals and found them superb homes, ok the IDx had an accident but that does happen and thank goodness it wasn't down to you to find him and deal with it. You do however know that you and his new owners did their best for him and he was very happy in his environment.

You still have the two loved and trusted companions who make you happy when you let them:)

You began the year too tired and ill to cope with the mare but since then you have been better, you've been strong enough to find the IDx and you were enjoying him, then life stepped in again and you lost the grazing and had to make other arrangements but you got over that and out the other side.

You put plenty of time into bonding with the pony, walking him out will have helped you to feel fitter and better so in a way it wasn't a disaster and eventually you found him a good home where he will do what he's happy with.

2012 is finishing soon, if you can keep positive now you will be starting 2013 in a much better position than you were in at the start of 2012. If you need to take a break from horses then so be it, you still have the ponies and another lovely horse may be just around the corner when you least expect it.

I hope the rest of the year goes more smoothly for you.
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^^^This! All of which shows that you're actually a very strong and compassionate person who has always done right by her(?) horses. The news about the ID is bound to upset you - it's incredibly sad. I know you don't want sympathy but you have mine anyway but also my respect for being such a kind person.
 
I felt the same a couple of years ago when I had 4 horses to look after and totally had enough so I worked towards reducing numbers.

I now have my Sec A pony who is going nowhere and I've never been happier.

I have however increased my number of dogs from 1 to 3 :D
 
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