Not pleasant loan experience...wondering what happened.

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xBexyx

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About 2 months ago I thought I would start looking for a horse to loan as both my other boys are retired. SO I found a beautiful 5 year old appaloosa X who was relatively local and so I enquired about him.

His owner sounded nice, I was confused as to why she said he was in a grackle and a pelham even though he's only 5 and doesn't cross his jaw, but I just put it down to her not having much experience and decided to go try him out. He was very unsure about using his back legs and I think she must have socked him in the mouth a fair few times as he was not happy about being in that bit. But at 5, and myself being a very experienced rider it could all be worked on and I would get someone out to check his teeth. I told her that I didn't want to rush the process though as I didn't want to take anything that then had to go home 2 months later as he wasn't suitable as didn't want to upset my boys with something coming and going.

She was fine with this and even boxed him over to mine so I could ride him in the school. I put a regular bridle on him and a snaffle and he was much better. Still didn't want to rush it though but the owner was really pushing me to take him as she said I could offer him the home she wanted him to have. So I said I would take him.

Over the next 2 weeks I didn't hear much from her. Then out of the blue she text me and said she couldn't loan him to me. (She had actually wanted me to have him that weekend.) She said even though it was going to be a struggle she wanted to keep him. Which I understand to an extent, even though she will more than likely ruin him as she did not seem to know an awful lot about horses in general and she had told me she was really struggling financially.

Sorry for the rant but this has really thrown me and I am now dreading looking again for a horse in case the owner changes their mind last minute. Does this sound unreasonable to anyone else? Has it happened to anyone else? I text her asking for address so I could send her the stable sign I had bought him, and she just sent her address. No apologies.
 
It's her horse, she can do what she likes, including changing her mind. I don't think its unreasonable. If you want certainty you need to buy. Otherwise you're at the mercy of what may turn out to be a fickle owner.
 
had you a loan agreement in place with her? if not, then it's her horse, so she can do what she thinks is best for it (even if it isn't!)

there's plenty of lovely loaners out there, but if you need certainty the poster above is right, you will only get it with your own. Otherwise, i'd pin down correct terms with the owner of the next horse you try. You sound like a lovely , sensitive rider, so it's a shame her horse couldn't have benifited from your skill.
 
It's not unreasonable, but very upsetting for you, as at that stage you had bonded, and prob fell in love with him. hate when that happens. I had a pony on trial for my daughter, which we bought, with alot of haggling, which was very last minute, when trial was up. Had warned my daughter that if he didnt pass the vet, he wasnt staying (which actually meant, if I couldnt negeotiate a good deal, he wasn't staying). Pity we couldnt do that to ourselves, would save on alot of emotion. xx
 
No, I understand that it is her horse. It's just totally thrown me and also not offered a reason why. I assume the reason is that she cant bear to part with him etc.

And as re: buying, I am in the position to buy, but at the moment I don't want for a number of reasons.

So far only one other person has thought she was being unreasonable so maybe I'm just thinking she is as as I'm annoyed I had allowed myself to get excited about having him and starting work on him, rather than keeping my pragmatic approach that I had kept until about 5 days ago!
 
paddi22 said:
had you a loan agreement in place with her? if not, then it's her horse, so she can do what she thinks is best for it (even if it isn't!)

there's plenty of lovely loaners out there, but if you need certainty the poster above is right, you will only get it with your own. Otherwise, i'd pin down correct terms with the owner of the next horse you try. You sound like a lovely , sensitive rider, so it's a shame her horse couldn't have benifited from your skill.
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Hi, yeah I had emailed her a loan agreement that I had revised as there was a number of things I wanted changed on it. But she hadn't gotten around to signing it and sending it back.
 
xBexyx said:
Hi, yeah I had emailed her a loan agreement that I had revised as there was a number of things I wanted changed on it. But she hadn't gotten around to signing it and sending it back.
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Sorry to hear you've had a bad experience however, I'm intrigued as to what things you wanted changing in the loan agreement?

The fact she hadn't got round to signing it would make me suspicious that she didn't like the revised contract?
 
I'd never get excited about a loan horse, chances are she'd have taken him back just when you'd got to the point where he was schooled enough that you could properly enjoy him. People loan for a reason and as soon as that reason changes they'll take the horse back. Any loan agreement means nothing really, owner can still take horse back any time they like including with no notice. It's the price you pay for having a "free" horse temporarily.
 
I don't think it was anything in the loan agreement. The loan agreement was just a structure taken from the BHS website. I amended the insurance part slightly and the number of months he would be on loan for as we had agreed on 24 not 12. Also the part about only being allowed to be stabled at my yard as if we went anywhere for a competition he would need to be stabled there.

Cant think what I added/changed would have been a problem.
 
Sugar_and_Spice said:
I'd never get excited about a loan horse, chances are she'd have taken him back just when you'd got to the point where he was schooled enough that you could properly enjoy him. People loan for a reason and as soon as that reason changes they'll take the horse back. Any loan agreement means nothing really, owner can still take horse back any time they like including with no notice. It's the price you pay for having a "free" horse temporarily.
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Well
 
You don't think that 2yrs instead of 1yr and to be allowed to stable it wherever you like, to be a problem? From the owners point of view that stuff is a big deal. Especially the stabling clause, because you could move yards. You sound like a decent person, but at the end of the day she had to choose to trust her horse to a complete stranger or not and it sounds like she got cold feet about it. There will be another horse for you out there somewhere.
 
Sugar_and_Spice said:
You don't think that 2yrs instead of 1yr and to be allowed to stable it wherever you like, to be a problem? From the owners point of view that stuff is a big deal. Especially the stabling clause, because you could move yards. You sound like a decent person, but at the end of the day she had to choose to trust her horse to a complete stranger or not and it sounds like she got cold feet about it. There will be another horse for you out there somewhere.
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Actually she wanted it changed to 2 years, which I was more than happy about. And I kept the clause in about stabling at my yard...but added another which stated with exception of a needing to be temporarily stabled elsewhere for competition purposes in which circumstances she would be informed of where it is and I as the borrower would thoroughly check it and ensure it was suitable.

I think you may think I amended the loan agreement from something she sent me. I amended it from the BHS structure.
 
Ah right. Well maybe you was right in the guess that she doesn't want to part with him. Some people are impulsive and don't really think things through. I've had loads of loan horses and I find there's no point getting attached. Most people are just using you and I've only ever met one horse owner (connected to me or not) who felt any guilt about deciding to take a well looked after loan horse back. As for buying bits and bobs like name plates, I really wouldn't bother, I'd buy the horse the minimum amount of cheap (but well fitting and suitable) stuff.
 
I realise you wanted to be sure the horse was right but maybe a quicker decision would be a good idea in future? It seems to have given her a chance to see how well the horse could go and a chance for her to change her mind. It would have been easier if the horse wasn't with her and you were working it without her supervision(hope that makes sense) sometimes out of sight really is out of mind. People buy horses with less of a trial and at least with a loan horse it could have gone back if it wasn't suitable
 
Thanks very much for your input though. It's been beneficial and ts good to hear a different view on it as it was only a few days ago so I'm looking at it from a personal view rather than my pragmatic approach!
 
WelshD said:
I realise you wanted to be sure the horse was right but maybe a quicker decision would be a good idea in future? It seems to have given her a chance to see how well the horse could go and a chance for her to change her mind. It would have been easier if the horse wasn't with her and you were working it without her supervision(hope that makes sense) sometimes out of sight really is out of mind. People buy horses with less of a trial and at least with a loan horse it could have gone back if it wasn't suitable
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Yes I think sadly you are most probably right. Maybe moving quicker next time is what I need to do. I just don't rush anything with my horses, I need to know that it could definitely work out. Especially with my boys, I like to rock the boat as little as possible with them.
 
Maybe you got her back up by changing his bit and your general 'I know best attitude'.
I'm sorry but you'd have had me running for the hills too :eek:
 
From what I have read I'd say the owner is immature and was in a tight spot and used you but that's just my view based on you thinking a pelham and grackle is not the first bit/noseband choice for a 5yo and your reasonability throughout this situation.

I hope the horse is OK back in their care and you find a reasonable owner to loan from. They are out there.
 
I just don't understand why you would rather loan?! Only to have your hard work taken off you again for someone else's benefit?
 
I think you are just going to have to take this one on the chin and move on - sorry.

Do you think you might have given her an inkling that you thought she was a rubbish rider and knew practically nothing about horses but you were a much better rider and your horse management was far superior to hers?

If you did - she might have got the hump .....
 
I would never have implied to her in a snooty way that I knew better as that's not me and no one knows everything. I asked her if I could try him in a snaffle and bridle in the school to see how he went, I didn't go into detail as to why I wanted to, and she was fine with it. She actually just laughed and said if you think you're brave enough.

Definitely woken up with much better approach this morn. Taken on the chin, not going to take it personally. Keep on looking. I'm back to thinking if it was meant to be it would have happened. It hasn't so it wasn't! :) thanks for all your input everyone.xx
 
Does this sound unreasonable to anyone else? Has it happened to anyone else?
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Not unreasonable, no - but I understand your disappointment.

It has actually happened to me - but in reverse. Two weeks in to the loan, I wanted my horse back. Basically because I realised I'd made a terrible mistake (not to whom I loaned, they were lovely), but because I missed the horse very much and simply wanted her back.
 
This happened to me too owner just couldn't part with him. I then bought a youngster and then received a message asking if I still wanted to loan him. I would still have had him but grass was in short supply that year so had to decline. Perhaps she is just finding it hard to let the horse go even though it makes financial sense.
 
That is a shame for you, sure you must have been disappointed. Similar happened to me a few yrs ago.

Don't lose faith, you will find something. Try to look on the bright side - she could have let you take the horse, school him up for a few months and then taken him back which would have been even worse
 
I wouldn't take it personally, i would assume that she had last minute wobbles about letting the horse go and changed her mind, it's not easy letting a horse go on loan these days, you only have to read some of the horror stories on here!!
 
I think perhaps it might have taken the reality of sending him away for her to realise she didn't want it?

My sister's pony is away on loan at the moment, and it was absolutely the right choice for the pony and the family is lovely, but it still stuck in my throat when she went and at first I kept thinking maybe I should just keep her. That wasn't an option, however - she had to go so she went. But it wasn't until she was going that it really hit me how much I'd miss her grumpy wee face :(

Glad to hear you're feeling more positive though - onwards and upwards, the right one will be out there. It might just take some patience.
 
WelshD said:
I realise you wanted to be sure the horse was right but maybe a quicker decision would be a good idea in future? It seems to have given her a chance to see how well the horse could go and a chance for her to change her mind. It would have been easier if the horse wasn't with her and you were working it without her supervision(hope that makes sense) sometimes out of sight really is out of mind. People buy horses with less of a trial and at least with a loan horse it could have gone back if it wasn't suitable
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My thoughts exactly; you did faff around a bit and if you're as experienced as you say then you should have been able to suss out almost immediately if he was a horse you could work with and enjoy.
From her point of view because of your dallying, she might have seen you just as a joy rider/time waster, I know I would have had my suspicions on that score.
 
It wasn't to suss out the horse. It was to ensure that I got to know him and her so he would fit in with my retired boys and as she wanted close contact with him whilst he was on loan to me I thought it would be a good idea to check we got along too as she wasn't far from me and wanted to come out to see him a lot. Which I was fine with. Anyway that's beside the point as if u read the original post it says I had already agreed to take him and was meant to be having him the weekend she text me.
 
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