Not sure how much more I can take.

[Five&Two]

So I work 2 jobs due to being in debt after my life falling apart last year. Mornings on the yard and evening in a Bar. I have 2 horses age 11yo and 26yo and 5 dogs. Dogs come to the yard with me whilst I'm working so that keeps them exercised and healthy. 26yo is retired and goes out for 3 hours a day. In this weather he won't stay out for longer. 11yo needs as much turnout as poss or she becomes difficult. Here in lies the problem, Mine are both on DIY and we have a designated DIY field. My mare goes out happily alone or in company and the big 5yo on the yard goes out with her as she's very easy going with other horses. The Issue is the other DIY'er on the yard. We are supposed to share the field so one horse has morning and the other the afternoon. Since the clocks changed the other woman wants hers put for as long as poss and turns out about 9am and was told she has to bring at 1pm for mine to go out, in the last
two weeks she's left hers out later and later so my mare gets less and less time out before it's dark, and I have to leave to get myself sorted for second job. Yesterday (Friday) I asked to have morning turnout slot as I had to leave by 1pm and YO had no problem with this. The other DIY'er kicked of screaming and shouting and being a spoilt brat. (She's 50yo). Today my mare got no turnout at all because the bloody woman put her horse out at 7am before anyone else got to the yard and it was still out when I left at 4.45. The horse spends most of the day at the gate and doesn't want to be out. It's crippled lame with arthritis, supposed to be on danilon but Isn't because the owner won't pay for it. If they could all go out together I'd have no objection but this other horse is nasty and has kicked and ended the life of one horse and the ridden career of another. She attacks abd keeps going until the other horse can't defend itself.
My little mare has been doing very little because of the lack of turnout and I'm at the point of telling the other DIY'er exactly what I think of her.

 

[HashRouge]

Has the YO set the rule that you have half a day each? If so, she either needs to have a word with this woman herself and insist she stick to the rules, or could you not just bring this woman's horse in so you can turn yours out?

 

[Apercrumbie]

This isn't for you to solve - the YO needs to enforce their rules.

 

[The-Bookworm]

If yours is meant to go out in the afternoon from 1pm, why didn't you put hers in and yours out?

 

[Five&Two]

The other woman throws a strop and then it carries on the same. If anyone else brings her horse in she throws a strop. Often it's at the gate calling to come in and pacing and the woman just ignores it. I will have another word with YO but I doubt it will do much good.

 

[DragonSlayer]

Let her throw a strop then! If that's the rules, that's the rules, take her horse in, put yours out.

 

[TPO]

Are there any other yards that would enable you to have your own field and/or all day turn out?

It sounds like even if YO does speak to the other livery the livery will do whatever she wants regardless and YO allows it for an easy life. It seems to be the same in most yards that those who are the most difficult and loudest get whatever they want.

 

[Five&Two]

It's also

Are there any other yards that would enable you to have your own field and/or all day turn out?

It sounds like even if YO does speak to the other livery the livery will do whatever she wants regardless and YO allows it for an easy life. It seems to be the same in most yards that those who are the most difficult and loudest get whatever they want.

Moving isn't an option as the way it work atm as I work to pay my livery and then get payed the extra past that which I use to live on and the second job pays off my bills. So really stuck. Used to have more fields but the farm that the yard is based on and the farmer took some grazing back for his bloody cow's!

 

[TPO]

It's also


Moving isn't an option as the way it work atm as I work to pay my livery and then get payed the extra past that which I use to live on and the second job pays off my bills. So really stuck. Used to have more fields but the farm that the yard is based on and the farmer took some grazing back for his bloody cow's!

Looks like your only option is to speak to the YO. The YO has to enforce that if the horses arent in at X time then you have permission to bring the horses in and livery will be charged for the service. If livery doesnt like it then she has the option to leave (& hope that she does 🤞🏻)

 

[awelshandawarmblood]

That's the yard owners job to sort, failing that, I'd bring hers in!

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

I’d just bring it in and if she kicks off tell her to switch roles and how would she like her horse in all day.

just tell the YO you are going to bring the horse in at X time and if they say ok then let her kick off. Just put your ear buds in and walk away if she does. I find this a very effective method of dealing with spoilt twats

 

[D66]

Talk to the yard owner.
Bring the horse in
Let her strop.
Tell her calmly - you are being unreasonable.

 

[Jellymoon]

What D66 said.
You need to be MUCH more assertive! The other woman throws a strop and gets her own way, like a spoilt child. Now you need to assume the parent role and spell it out very calmly and firmly that this is how it’s going to be.

 

[be positive]

If a YO makes rules they have to enforce them, this one is not ideal and unfair on the horse that is not getting their set time if it is not enforced, as you work on the yard it should be easier to stand up to this livery by getting their horse in regardless of any tantrums because it is 'part of your job' to do so, it may not be but if you do it every day with no charge I cannot see how she can do anything about it as it is 'yard rules' no need to get into an argument just send her to the YO to deal with and get on with whatever you are doing, the YO must back you up because they have set the rules in the first place.

 

[Jellymoon]

I do think your YO is being a bit pathetic too. Are you all scared of her?You must woman up and sort it out. The welfare of your horse is at stake, you cannot allow her to suffer because this woman is bullying you.

Rehearse in your head what you are going to say to her, look her straight in the eye and stick to your guns. Take a friend or husband/dad if it makes you feel braver.

I would demand a meeting between you, her and the YO. Say, ‘we need to discuss this situation in a calm and adult way, and I will NOT tolerate any abusive behaviours such as shouting and screaming.’ How can we resolve this so that MY horse gets the turnout she derserves and I am paying for.

 

[Auslander]

This is absolutely a YO problem, which needs to be sorted out. YO needs to step up and manage. That said, I'd be livid if any of my liveries did this - and it's one of the reasons I don't have DIYs.

I have to juggle the occupants of my mare field at the moment, as they aren't all getting on, so they are taking turns to be in the field, on the track, and in the pen - everyone is safe, and everyone is getting turnout. I'm aware that not every yard has these luxuries, but we have them because I made them happen.

 

[Carrottom]

Is there any possibility of electric fencing off a small area for her horse so it can stay out?

 

[Pinkvboots]

Can't the horses share the field together or half it so they can be out at the sane time failing that is there another field you can use or share with someone else.

 

[Rowreach]

I think the fact you actually work there means you should bring her horse in at the relevant time, and the YO should charge her for it.

 

[Red-1]

If I worked at the yard I would have simply brought hers in at 1pm on the previous occasions where she was late.

As she is consistently late, it seems a reasonable arrangement that yours has the morning, as was subsequently arranged.

As she 'forgot' that arrangement yesterday, I would have brought it in at 8am when I arrived so mine could go out, as agreed, but would of course have contacted her to inform her of her 'mistake' so she could have come and turned hers out at 1pm, as arranged.

 

[Templebar]

I agree with everyone else that it is for the YO to sort out. However is it possible for yours to be out overnight, i appreciate its not what most do for the winter but if she is happy out and well rugged then bring her in during the day when you could also work her if you need to for her behaviour.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

If I worked at the yard I would have simply brought hers in at 1pm on the previous occasions where she was late.

As she is consistently late, it seems a reasonable arrangement that yours has the morning, as was subsequently arranged.

As she 'forgot' that arrangement yesterday, I would have brought it in at 8am when I arrived so mine could go out, as agreed, but would of course have contacted her to inform her of her 'mistake' so she could have come and turned hers out at 1pm, as arranged.

Indeed, people will treat you the way that you allow them to do.


OP, just bring the horse in when you are due to put yours out.

 

[Flicker]

She’s taking the p and YO is letting her because she’s kicking off. I echo everyone’s advice to follow the rule and when she kicks off, stand up to her. Bullies (and she is a bully) don’t know how to handle people standing up to them and often back down. One thing is certain, if you don’t address the issue, it will continue and possibly get worse.
Sending you lots off kick-ass vibes!!

 

[The-Bookworm]

I have actually read your op again as there was a lot of info that wasn't relevant.
You have left this for two weeks, you also work on the yard so it's likely the YO expects you to be capable of bringing a horse in if someone is late and speaking to them about why.

 

[Doublethyme]

Stop being a doormat to the detriment of your horse. If other horse is in field out of its allotted time, get it in, inform YO its a chargeable service as you work for them and put your horse out. If the other livery kicks off, that's her problem not yours and just ignore her or calmly refer her to the YO.
I have absolutely no doubt the woman will start shouting about being bullied, these types always do when they are the ones bullying and someone stands up to them. Stand firm!

 

[chocolategirl]

This isn't for you to solve - the YO needs to enforce their rules.

100% agree with that 🤷‍♀️ People will only take advantage if you allow them to 🤷‍♀️

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

The YO needs to sort out this livery. If her horse is out when yours should be & her horse should be in then bring her horse in & the YO should bill her for it. Don't get bullied by her, she needs to be put in her place & look after her horse properly. The YO must get involved & get her to follow thew rules of te yard. The YO also has vicarious liability for the welfare of the horses on her land so if the owner of the horse is neglecting the horse through no medication etc then she needs to be given her marching orders. It is not up to you to sort out problems of the yard, stick to the rules yourself & when the YO wakes up she should take action against the other woman.