Not sure if I'm just being over sensitive

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Geezakiss

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I've had my horse on full livery for about 6 months now. I like the yard, the facilities are excellent and the other liveries are lovely. I am having an issue with one particular member of staff.

She is on the face of things a nice enough girl however when I moved my horse there, another member of staff told me that if there was ever a problem with this particular member of staff, not to bring it up with her directly as it will upset her. She's a bit of an awkward person, has no social skills and is extremely slow at doing anything. The yard owner will not do a thing about her though as he sees her like a daughter.

These are the things that I have issues with -

Anything outside her normal routine she can't deal with, e.g. My horse needed medication one week and I was away for a few days. She was the only member of staff working that week. When I arrived at yard I enquired after my horse she said she was getting better and that there was plenty of medication left. Turns out the medication wasn't even opened and my horse received none. She said she wasn't sure what to do so just didn't do anything (she could easily have phoned me to ask).

Her horse was particularly aggressive during turning in so had to be brought in earlier than the others. This was fine for a week until she came back from holiday, left her horse out all day and tried to bring my horse in at the same time resulting in me paying several hundred pounds in vet bills due to her horse attacking mine.

She doesn't allow me to put any haynets in for my horse unless it's at allocated times, first thing and last thing. My horse is now brought in half way through the day as she was a bit fat. I bought her a grazing muzzle, if the staff member is the only one on she will not put it on her as she 'can't be bothered', despite the fact it's right outside her stable and she needs to put a headcollar on her anyway. This morning she had her muzzle on so I put in a tiny haynet to keep her amused while I was grooming her and I got spoken to like a piece of crap and patronised and told my horse was too podgy and shouldn't have one. (My horse has lost weight in the past few weeks).

I am the only livery who goes to the yard through the day, I get the blame of everything, if poo is left in the school she says it was me, despite the fact it was already there when I went to ride and the staff member was riding her horse immediately before me. If provisions run out that she's used she tells yard owner it was me. If I say anything about it I get accused of moaning. Basically I feel like she's making a fool out of me.

I really don't want to leave the yard as I won't get facilities like it anywhere nearby and my horse is settled and happy. What should I do? I'm beginning to feel like my horse isn't my own as I'm spoken to like I'm some sort of idiot and dictated to all the time.
 
I can think of no reason why you would put up with such incompetence/maliciousness. If you don't hink YO will take your concerns seriously and do somehting about them, I can see no alternative but to move.
 
Wow youre a nicer person than I am. Id be playing hell if it were me. Youre paying for a service at the end of the day. Is there a more senior member of staff you could bring this up with?
 
Hi, thanks for replying to my post, I didn't realise it was so long!

The 'manager' doesn't want to deal with anything she does, she bitches the backside off her and will tell me what staff member has told them (when blaming me for things) and when I protest she says it's nothing to do with her. The actual yard owner sees this member of staff as a family member, he knows she's incompetent but his heart rules his head and he will never get rid of her. He just tells me to talk to the manager who then tells me it's nothing to do with her and to speak to yard owner. Another member of staff has said to yard owner that it's going to take a horse being killed due to her negligence before he'll take action. There are several other incidents that I have witnessed and was told not to tell the other liveries the true story as they don't want any come back, which makes me feel very uneasy. There's only one other member of staff who totally backs me up and is sick to the back teeth of it all but she basically just works there a couple of days a week to pay her own livery and is worried that if she really kicked up a stink she'd be fired.
 
Geezakiss said:
Hi, thanks for replying to my post, I didn't realise it was so long!

The 'manager' doesn't want to deal with anything she does, she bitches the backside off her and will tell me what staff member has told them (when blaming me for things) and when I protest she says it's nothing to do with her. The actual yard owner sees this member of staff as a family member, he knows she's incompetent but his heart rules his head and he will never get rid of her. He just tells me to talk to the manager who then tells me it's nothing to do with her and to speak to yard owner. Another member of staff has said to yard owner that it's going to take a horse being killed due to her negligence before he'll take action. There are several other incidents that I have witnessed and was told not to tell the other liveries the true story as they don't want any come back, which makes me feel very uneasy. There's only one other member of staff who totally backs me up and is sick to the back teeth of it all but she basically just works there a couple of days a week to pay her own livery and is worried that if she really kicked up a stink she'd be fired.
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So why are you and your horse still there? Are you really waiting for your horse to be the one that is killed?

Sorry to be so blunt but really, what are you waiting for? There must be another yard in the area surely. No facilities on earth can be worth the risk to your horse - and you have already had to pay a vet bill becasue of this girl's actions. I would have left then.
 
It sounds as if the staff are running the place to suit themselves, the YO is leaving them to it but happily taking your money that is supposed to be paying for a full livery service without really providing a good standard of care, not administering medication is not acceptable, most is clearly labeled so she could have read that and given it if the YO had failed to make her aware of what to do, is there no head girl or manager in charge on a daily basis?
How can you be blamed for using provisions are they part of the livery package? as for restricting hay that is my pet hate, so often livery yards limit horses to save money, mine get nets when they come in and should have enough to last them through the night, it all sounds rather petty and as if you are going to become more unhappy as time goes on, it may well be worth looking around elsewhere if the atmosphere does not improve after you bring it to the attention of whoever is supposed to be running things, she needs to remember who is paying her wages, maybe not directly but you are the client and she is "working for you".

Just read your second post, I would get out ASAP before it gets worse, you will get nowhere trying to change things so leave while you and your horse are still fit and well.
 
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When I say provisions I mean things like tea and coffee, she's been there for hours after me leaving the yard owner with none so she says I finished them, petty I know but it really grinds my gears.

I must admit since my horse was injured the turn out situation has been dramatically improved, probably because i threatened to sue them. But I feel as now I'm being used as her scapegoat when other petty things happen. The 'manager' leaves at lunchtime so she's basically on her own for the rest of the day so it's easy just to point at me. She honestly seems to think the yard should revolve around her, when she wants to ride, other staff helping her before dealing with liveries etc. the yard owner has made a rod for his own back by bending over backwards to suit her and not upset her. All the other staff constantly go on about how selfish and self cantered she is but would probably get sacked if they said anything.
 
She is running the yard, maybe not technically but in reality she is in charge as no one else is able to run the place, by standing up to her if she is as unstable as she sounds I really think your horse is at risk of her getting back at you, for now it is minor issues such as going behind your back but it could become more serious, I think you really need to leave, tell the YO why and he has the choice of keeping a client or her, if he keeps her on which he probably will, you may find other liveries and staff feel the same way and follow your lead, no facilities can be worth feeling so uncomfortable every day.
 
be positive said:
She is running the yard, maybe not technically but in reality she is in charge as no one else is able to run the place, by standing up to her if she is as unstable as she sounds I really think your horse is at risk of her getting back at you, for now it is minor issues such as going behind your back but it could become more serious, I think you really need to leave, tell the YO why and he has the choice of keeping a client or her, if he keeps her on which he probably will, you may find other liveries and staff feel the same way and follow your lead, no facilities can be worth feeling so uncomfortable every day.
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I completely agree.
 
why are you still there?!?! no amount of facilities or location would allow me to put up with that or allow my horse to be in a crap environment! Even if its a patch of field, as long as I can guarantee my horses safety and care I'd be gone!
 
I think I would try and get a group together and the YO and YM in one place and complain en masse as it will affect the others at least to some extent too

If the YO is set on keeping the lady I would personally request that when she is working there should be another member of staff that is competent on site too
 
Given that the YO "treats the worker like a family member" it wouldn't surprise me, especially as the OP describes, if she had some learning difficulties or mental illness. In many ways she sounds a bit autistic, but if this is the case, she should never be left alone to run the yard - that isn't fair to anyone. I suggest the OP speaks to the YO (I would leave the YM out of it as it may be that they feel their hands are completely tied with the attitude to the worker) and explain what has gone wrong and that they don't feel they can stay. The YO will then either try to improve things, or say they are sorry that it hasn't worked out and accept that the OP will be leaving.
 
I would write a letter to the YOer copied to the YM.
I would detail everything in a calm and dispassionate way .
Starting with the big things like not medicating the horse etc and using a light touch with the slightly more petty things like the tea and coffee .
I would put the letter to one side .
I would quickly ( bad time of year ) find another yard and move because you won't solve this .
If you are spoken to again in a rude way say I am a paying customer here don't speak to me like that and then leave it don't enter into debate with the worker it won't help so don't do it.
The yard worker is not suitable to be in sole charge make sure you get that into your letter .
When you leave hand over the letter it won't help you it might help someone else .
You horse is for pleasure don't let anyone spoil it .
 
Geezakiss said:
Hi, thanks for replying to my post, I didn't realise it was so long!

The 'manager' doesn't want to deal with anything she does, she bitches the backside off her and will tell me what staff member has told them (when blaming me for things) and when I protest she says it's nothing to do with her. The actual yard owner sees this member of staff as a family member, he knows she's incompetent but his heart rules his head and he will never get rid of her. He just tells me to talk to the manager who then tells me it's nothing to do with her and to speak to yard owner. Another member of staff has said to yard owner that it's going to take a horse being killed due to her negligence before he'll take action. There are several other incidents that I have witnessed and was told not to tell the other liveries the true story as they don't want any come back, which makes me feel very uneasy. There's only one other member of staff who totally backs me up and is sick to the back teeth of it all but she basically just works there a couple of days a week to pay her own livery and is worried that if she really kicked up a stink she'd be fired.
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In that case I would be out of there asap. It doesn't matter how good the yard is with facilities or location. Nothing is worth compromising your horse's safety over.
 
i'd get a group of liveries together, write down all the complaints and then arrange a meeting with a few of you's and the YO and YM. If it looks like complaints are coming just from you, they will think its a personal dispute and ignore it. if its a group of liveries they will see its a wider problem.

Have to say I'd move as well. I would have killed anyone whose negligence caused my horse to be injured, and as for the medication not being given I would have exploded. I would absolutely eat the head off her for any things she gets wrong in future, but i would move.
 
You can't be the only livery that feels this way? Ask around and get everyone else together with the YO and YM to complain as a group, it might be taken on board better that way.

If not, move. It doesn't matter about facilities when your horse is dead...
 
Sounds to me as though everyone is scared of her - hence the warning when you went there - including the YM/YO. I really think if you want to stay there you have to confront the issue and confront the person concerned. Don't let emotions rule but calmly tell her that her behaviour is causing you problems and if her employer won't explain to her what is and isn't acceptable you will have no choice but to leave. And keep a log of each and every incident which is unacceptable, so when you go to the YO you can provide the evidence. I wonder how many clients she has cost him.
 
JillA said:
Sounds to me as though everyone is scared of her - hence the warning when you went there - including the YM/YO. I really think if you want to stay there you have to confront the issue and confront the person concerned. Don't let emotions rule but calmly tell her that her behaviour is causing you problems and if her employer won't explain to her what is and isn't acceptable you will have no choice but to leave. And keep a log of each and every incident which is unacceptable, so when you go to the YO you can provide the evidence. I wonder how many clients she has cost him.
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my first thought when reading OP's initial post was that this girl has aspergers syndrome. It doesn't solve the problem of what to do other than leave but confronting her and telling her her behaviour is causing problems and isn't acceptable isn't going to help as it may well be the only way to behave she knows.
 
Get out! Your horse has already been injured because of this member of staff. Are the facilities still going to look so good if your horse gets kicked and sustains a broken leg?
 
Try and speak to YO and YM together. Explain that you think the yard, the facilities and initially everyone on it was great. Explain that x seems to be perfectly pleasant in most cases but a few things have made it so that you are now not so happy (give specifics).

Ask them whether this is something they have noticed, whether they feel it is appropriate ? Suggest that maybe they should look at managing her performance as in the long run it is better for both the girl, the yard and its liveries for them to have a competent and harmonious yard. If no one points out to this girl that her actions are causing issues then how can she learn and put it right ?

Their joint response can then be used for you to decide what you want to do about livery arrangements. If they aren't prepared to do anything then you really have two choices put up with it or leave.

Don't threaten to leave if they say they won't do anything, say you will give their response some thought. Make your decision and then communicate it a few days later.
 
Goldenstar said:
I would write a letter to the YOer copied to the YM.
I would detail everything in a calm and dispassionate way .
Starting with the big things like not medicating the horse etc and using a light touch with the slightly more petty things like the tea and coffee .
I would put the letter to one side .
I would quickly ( bad time of year ) find another yard and move because you won't solve this .
If you are spoken to again in a rude way say I am a paying customer here don't speak to me like that and then leave it don't enter into debate with the worker it won't help so don't do it.
The yard worker is not suitable to be in sole charge make sure you get that into your letter .
When you leave hand over the letter it won't help you it might help someone else .
You horse is for pleasure don't let anyone spoil it .
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Agree with all of this. Especially leave asap - your horse's safety depends on it.
 
paddy555 said:
my first thought when reading OP's initial post was that this girl has aspergers syndrome. It doesn't solve the problem of what to do other than leave but confronting her and telling her her behaviour is causing problems and isn't acceptable isn't going to help as it may well be the only way to behave she knows.
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I thought the same and thought that could be why the YO is protecting her.
 
OP, I have recently been on a yard that from the outside looking in was perfect, everything I needed for my horses needs at that time. It took me a very long time to find it. When I moved there it was a different story. Welfare of the horses was NOT the priority. As soon as I realised this I looked for a new yard and moved asap.

The Owner in your scenario is willing to overlook anything this 'adopted family member' does, I honestly cannot see that changing even if all liveries kicked up a fuss as once someones heart is ruling their head, logic goes out the window, along with their common sense. Rather than see things how they are, he will protect/defend this girl and things could turn very nasty with potentially your horse taking the brunt of ill placed emotions. If this girl does have a medical reason for her behaviour it is irrelevant imho, the YO will continue to place her above you and your horse.

It sounds like this yard is really getting you down and your horse has already been injured for no justifiable reason. Not deserving of your money at all, the stress caused and no, you aren't being over sensitive. :(
 
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I agree with others and see an avoidable accident and failure to administer prescribed medication as completely unacceptable, and my horse would be out of there pronto. From what you've said nothing you say will make any difference whatever, and if you can't be confident your horse is being looked after properly when you're not there - and by the sound of it even if you are - then you and your horse need to be somewhere else.

I have been in a similar situation myself previously, and it wasn't until I had moved and it was all over that I really realised the full impact it had been having on both myself and my horse. With hindsight I should have moved him much sooner.

Very best of luck.
 
I'd have been out of there the moment medication wasn't administered without even an apology from her or the YO/YM. Completely unacceptable and in many cases it could have been life threatening. You have had at least two serious incidents. Sadly the YO and YM don't want to address the problem so I think you have no choice. I'd be leaving and making it very very clear why. I'd also lose all regard for this girl not liking to be criticised too - it's gone beyond a joke, your horse has been hurt.
 
No you are not being over sensitive.
I can understand why you may not want to move but I think you need to have an adult coversation with the YO. Tell them the good points about the yard and then say that you had believed there was full management of the yard throughout the day, but you have noticed this isn't the case. Will they be remedying that soon?
IMO a YM who leaves at lunchtime everyday is a stable hand with additional jobs to do and little more. They cannot be fully committed to the business It's just a job.
If YO says no intention of getting full timer/ afternoon/evening manager then say that you're surprised as that is when the majority of clients as well as the horses need the services, ones which you are paying for and that you may feel obliged to look elsewhere as your horse's welfare is your prime issue.

A YO is generally in the business to make money. Customer satisfaction is key to this.
It follows that if the customer is not happy they leave and the business fails. As others are also affected in this yard, this will happen eventually at your yard.I know, I and one other owner took 5 horses between us, from a yard of 13 because the horses weren't adequately fed and watered whilst on grass livery, and within a year they were out of business entirely. Replacement clients who always pay their bills promptly can be very hard to find so those who do should be humoured.

Try to be dispassionate when having the YO conversation. You don't know the full story behind the girl causing trouble and there may be more to her being kept on there than meets the eye, as they say.
 
Have been in this situation on part livery and it got to the stage where I didn't want to go to the yard because of the owner....I Moved and myself and my horse have never been happier....10 years at same yard now ��
 
NaughtyNative said:
Have been in this situation on part livery and it got to the stage where I didn't want to go to the yard because of the owner....I Moved and myself and my horse have never been happier....10 years at same yard now ��
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I have also been in this kind of situation. YM was a fruit loop, stuff was going on which was unacceptable on so many levels. I wouldn't bother involving any of the other liveries, in my experience they are more than likely to give you the ammunition, wind you up and then back off and let you fall. You are much better just to leave and find a happy place for you and your horse and start enjoying them! I wish I hadn't wasted so much time being miserable.
 
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