Not sure what if im doing the right thing.

[lisamb83]

Hi
Im currently keep my daughters pony on a very small diy yard with just me and 2 other liveries. The place has everything a horse could wish for but lacks any fancy facilities...like a school.
We are the only ones there who has a ridden horse the others are retired so lots of hacking by ourselves but my daughter is loosing intereste because she finds it boring by herself all the time. No other children just adults on the yard. She has lessons every week and is starting to jump but i have no where for her to do that on the yard. I absolutely love this yard and my horse is very settled and seems happy.
I have a opportunity to move to a new yard with a school and many more social opportunities for my daughter.
But the grazing is only a quarter of what i have now and is further to travel and is considerably much more than i pay now.
What do i do. I don't want to move but my daughter does.

 

[bonny]

Depends whether you want your daughter to continue because if she loses interest that might well be the end of her riding. Is there no other yards which would meet both your requirements ?

 

[fidleyspromise]

Even though its a quarter of what you currently have how much grazing is there at the new place? Is it big enough for a run round?

 

[lisamb83]

Even though its a quarter of what you currently have how much grazing is there at the new place? Is it big enough for a run round?

It's not big enough for them to have a proper run around but we are very lucky where we are and we have huge Individual turn out so maybe im spoilt but I just feel like the paddock is far too small at the other place.
I want my daughter to continue riding but i also want myself and the pony to be happy too. My daughter is only 12 so she doesn't realy understand all the stress that comes with moving to a new place and it potentially being the wrong decision. There is other yards but they are mostly full livery which isn't what i want, Other yards don't get a space often and have a waiting list or are basic with no school like where we are.

 

[ihatework]

It must be utterly boring for a 12yo to be on a small adult yard with no facilities. If you are keen for her to keep riding then you probably need to move.

 

[Gloi]

Is there a local pony club with regular rallies and other events she could go to?

 

[Jambarissa]

It really sounds like you don't want to move the pony. So what can you do to make it more fun for your daughter?

Can she invite friends along occasionally and share the pony with them? Can you travel her to pony club or kids camps or clinics? Can you be more involved, set up fun pony club style games, help her think of fun challenges? Can she join a kids Facebook group and have virtual horsey friends?

Personally if the alternative place was suitable for the horse I'd move otherwise she'll probably give up but if you can make it fun where she is you might get lucky and another kid could move on.

 

[Barton Bounty]

Is there a local pony club with regular rallies and other events she could go to?

I would get her out and about to the woods , beach , friends? Hire an arena for the night for fun nights? Any of that possible?

 

[SEL]

I know quite a few people who either have family ponies at home or who are on small yards. Most of them spend their time driving kids to PC events where they get lessons & social side

They also have to do jobs at the yard so don't get bored.

 

[Goldenstar]

It must be utterly boring for a 12yo to be on a small adult yard with no facilities. If you are keen for her to keep riding then you probably need to move.

I agree , I would move .

 

[throwaway2022]

It must be utterly boring for a 12yo to be on a small adult yard with no facilities. If you are keen for her to keep riding then you probably need to move.

Exactly this. I’ve been through the same with my 10yo, the move has done wonders for her and she’s loving ponies again! I’d never have moved if it weren’t for her, it’s a sacrifice we have to make as parents, obviously providing the facilities are suitable for pony etc.

 

[Jellymoon]

I’m not sure I’d move…your yard sounds lovely, and much cheaper, and you are happy there, those things matter too.
Do you have transport? If yes, I would do pony club, riding club etc etc.
Maybe this is a step too far, but could you get something to ride too? Then you can go out together.

 

[lisamb83]

Thank you to everyone who has replied. Unfortunately the pony doesn't travel well which is another issue that is worrying me about moving. So we can't get out much other than local hacking. Its just too stressful for everyone trying to get the pony happy on the trailer. Its not the loading it the travelling she doesn't like.

My daughter doesn't really have many pony friends....i do spend a fortune at the riding school..not just for lessons but for any fun things they do during the school holidays.

When we got the pony my daughter was happy with hacking so the yard has been perfect for the last few years but obviously she has progressed with her riding and wants to be jumping.
I think i know i need to move but my head is saying 1 thing and my heart another.
As someone said....we have to make sacrifices for our children and i suppose this is one of them.

 

[rextherobber]

I wouldn't move, to be honest - horse is happy, you're happy, it's affordable, it's local... You don't actually *need* an arena, it's perfectly possible to work and jump on grass or out hacking (and often better for the horse, especially on a less than great surface) She's got a pony, loads of 12 year olds would be green with envy, she's a lucky kid. If you do move, next thing she'll either want to move to somewhere with an indoor, because it's winter, or she'll have discovered boys...You can only encourage a child's hobby so far, at the end of the day, they have to really, really want it themselves...

 

[Above the snowline]

Your problem is the pony not travelling well. Explain more and we may be able to help. Your daughter needs to join the pony club, and your pony needs to be able to travel to get there. Some ponies are happier without a partition. Fix the travel problems and the world is your oyster - no need to move yards.

 

[SO1]

If you move to a more child friendly yard and the other kids have transport and are off out to PC is your daughter then going to end up jealous and frustrated as she can't go because the pony doesn't travel?

 

[Bobthecob15]

I could have literally written this post!!! Mine is 8, same issue...nobody to ride with. She's lost her drive, partly due to her loss of confidence on her pony due to recent falls etc...long story. We are going to move yards, kids need company. Found somewhere else with more people riding...not kids unfortunately but more adults. We do a lot of PC too which she is much more motivated for as her friends go. Good luck its not easy!

 

[lisamb83]

Pony club is something my daughter has never been interested in. There is one at another riding school that she could join and use their horses but she just wants the company of kids her age and other people to ride out with so the travelling isn't a issue unless we really have to like to the vets or move yards.

 

[Above the snowline]

She has her own pony but is having lessons on riding school ponies. Do you think it would be better if she had lessons on her own pony? To do this you would have to move yards because her pony won’t travel. So, you move yards where she has jumping and x country lessons, becomes mad keen and then upset because she can’t travel to local shows, fun rides etc. Or she hates the new yard because she feels everyone is watching her and there is no guarantee she will have any friends. Your current yard sounds lovely. What about instead of spending money on the riding school buy some jumps and have lessons in your field. If she doesn’t enjoy jumping her pony then buy a new pony that will travel. If she does enjoy jumping her pony then get professional help and try to fix the travelling problem. Perhaps go and watch the local pony club - it may not be that bad and you could suss out a good instructor to come and teach your daughter and perhaps fix the travelling problem. Volunteering to help at the pony club would be an excellent way to find out what it’s like. She might go to pony club camp if you’re there too as a helper - you would both make horsey friends.

 

[Squeak]

Agree with the others that I think I would fix the travelling issue before moving yards. It would mean you could join pony club and use her own pony for lessons etc. you'd hopefully also meet other children her age in the area and then be able to travel for them to be able to ride and hack together etc.

From the sounds of it I reckon you'd end up stuck on the new yard where her friends are off out doing things and she can't go because the pony wont travel.

Another option is to get your name down on a waitlist for a yard that suits both you and daughter and sort the travelling issue whilst waiting for a space to become available. Then if you find that being able to travel solves the issues you can just take your name off the waitlist

 

[Gloi]

Your problem is the pony not travelling well. Explain more and we may be able to help. Your daughter needs to join the pony club, and your pony needs to be able to travel to get there. Some ponies are happier without a partition. Fix the travel problems and the world is your oyster - no need to move yards.

100% this. Put the work in finding out why the pony is having problems travelling. Is she better without the partition? Is it the way she is tied? Is it the way the driver is driving? What is she like in a lorry?
Load her and just go round the block and give her some treats and see if she improves with a few very short journeys.

 

[chaps89]

If funds allow, can you move to the bigger yard and try it for a month? At the end of that month you either stay where you are and give your notice in at the current yard or you don’t like it so go back to where you are now, paying your notice at the new yard.
Appreciate that is two months of double livery though.
Might just give you peace of mind though about whether the move helps or not.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I think moving is the only option if she is loosing interest and wants to jump, once your there maybe get the travelling issue sorted so you can also get out and about then.

 

[rextherobber]

Pony club is something my daughter has never been interested in. There is one at another riding school that she could join and use their horses but she just wants the company of kids her age and other people to ride out with so the travelling isn't a issue unless we really have to like to the vets or move yards.

Could you not advertise for a hacking buddy for her, they could come to you?

 

[mustardsmum]

Our ponies are at home, so my daughter rides with me. Moving to provide other kids for riding buddies was just not going to happen - we have our own land. She was in Riding Club as a junior and PC. She had PC friends who we’d travel to and they’d come to us. She was hugely privileged to have her own pony and understood that. Now at Uni, in Uni Riding Club but still comes home to see her beloved pony who took her through her teens. I think if you move, you will just end up with other issues - what happens if you move to a yard where you daughter doesn’t get on with the other kids, or where she wants a new flashier horse because everyone on your new yard has eventing ponies and your pony doesn’t match up to her expectations (I actually know of this happening…) ?Enjoy the yard where you are happy, sort the travelling issue and if your daughter looses interest, chances are that would have happened anyway. You can’t cover for all eventualities - your daughter is so lucky to have a pony when lots of kids don’t even have the opportunity to ride at a riding school. Teach her to appreciate what she has and to make the best of it, to understand the great privilege of horse ownership. If she is bored now, she maybe isn’t as into horses as you think. I would have gone to the dullest yard in the world just to have my own pony at her age, and just the fact of having a pony would have been enough.

 

[asmp]

Have you ever been on a big yard? Due to my husband‘s job we used to move around and I hated big yards. I’m much happier on a small friendly yard (and so is my horse).

I could also quote the possible “issues” in the above post too.

I do understand as my daughter lost interest but joining the local PC boosted her enjoyment again.

 

[J&S]

Our ponies are at home, so my daughter rides with me. Moving to provide other kids for riding buddies was just not going to happen - we have our own land. She was in Riding Club as a junior and PC. She had PC friends who we’d travel to and they’d come to us. She was hugely privileged to have her own pony and understood that. Now at Uni, in Uni Riding Club but still comes home to see her beloved pony who took her through her teens. I think if you move, you will just end up with other issues - what happens if you move to a yard where you daughter doesn’t get on with the other kids, or where she wants a new flashier horse because everyone on your new yard has eventing ponies and your pony doesn’t match up to her expectations (I actually know of this happening…) ?Enjoy the yard where you are happy, sort the travelling issue and if your daughter looses interest, chances are that would have happened anyway. You can’t cover for all eventualities - your daughter is so lucky to have a pony when lots of kids don’t even have the opportunity to ride at a riding school. Teach her to appreciate what she has and to make the best of it, to understand the great privilege of horse ownership. If she is bored now, she maybe isn’t as into horses as you think. I would have gone to the dullest yard in the world just to have my own pony at her age, and just the fact of having a pony would have been enough.

Absolutely this!! If you are unable to work out a way to get your pony travelling safely and happily then please get some help in. My step daughter was a bit nervous about going to PC to begin with but after the first rally she was up and at it! Your daughter will learn so much by getting involved, it will motivate her and be some thing that will stay with her for the rest of her life. TBH it might help you too, as a PC Mum there is a lot of support and help and experience around.

 

[maya2008]

Another that says the travelling is an issue. Can you get someone out to help you with this to figure out whether it is behaviour vs pain? What does the pony do on the trailer?

Travelling issues with a pony willing to load can either be current/past driving issues, or (more likely) an underlying physical problem that could be fixed through the vet. If it IS a physical problem, you may find that after the expensive move, pony does not stand up to work in an arena, with jumping etc, and becomes difficult to ride or even outright obviously lame. It could be something simple like hock arthritis needing injections, something which wouldn’t really show up ridden if all you do is hack/play in a field. An artificial surface, lots of corners, heavier work and you would see it cause issues. I know a few who struggle to travel and they all have arthritis bar one (she’s pssm). There are many posts on here if you search, where travelling issues were the first sign of something else, and indeed where moving to a yard with fancy facilities made the underlying issue more obvious.

Aside from that, ponies on individual turnout in small paddocks can end up rather full of energy, and rather fat (so laminitis risk).

If it was me, I would:
- get a good behaviour person out to see if they can fix the travelling. If they can’t, it’s most likely a vet job.
- get vet involved if needed.
- go try PC.

Do you not ride? I think most kids who are happily riding at home on private yards have a parent or sibling who rides, so someone to ride with.

 

[musk]

I think moving to another yard will have issues of its own. I have been on a livery yard with other children and the yard politics is something I would never choose to go back to. We keep our horses at home and my children go to pony club and we trailer out to meet up with friends- all met through pony club. Like others I would look to fix the travelling issue. Can you explain more about what happens in the trailer? Have you tried pony with partition taken out?

 

[Lucky Snowball]

If a child loses interest that easily then in my opinion they are not keen enough. She has her own pony. Many children can only dream of this. Sorry if that sounds harsh, just my own opinion.