Now I have a dilema :(

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Santa Clause

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I post this with a heavy heart,

for those that dont know me
I bought solo as my first horse 2 years ago, pretty 7 yr old sensible mare, to cut a long story short she turned into a rising 4 year old monster

the first 6 months were awful but she started improving so I stuck with her, she always had a cheeky side to her & always messed around when ridden etc..

after that we have had a year of 'okay', its the past few months that have made me think twice;

Now i can longer bring her in from the field without help (in her bridle)
when she is stabled, as soon as you walk up to the door she starts getting excited, ramming into the door. Open the door & she'll squash you agisnt her stall chain & wont move untill its broken and shes escaped.

Other liveries now dont want to put there horse on the yard when she's tied up.

When i ride her she takes the pi*s, she get all hot & sweaty before we even start trotting, then she trots on the spot, rears, canters off.

I've had 3 lessons a week for the past few months bt she isnt improving, had the vet & saddle man out & dentist - no problems there

anyway now i don't enjoy being around her - im scared of her.

I now have to make the descion if or not to sell her, she may improve like last time ot she may not,

what would you do ?
 
So a youngster who has missed out on a whole lot of education.

Sell her - or get some help.

She sounds as if she's walking all over you. But of course you can take steps yourself......

Why does she behave as she does when comming in? What is the trigger? Is it time of day, hunger, left on her own, later than she'd like?? etc.

Don't tie her on the yard - there's simply no need.

Don't put a door chain on - they're dangerous. Simply walk in to the stable - put a headcollar on her and tie her up.

Get a good competent rider on her to exercise her every day - not in the school but ridden out.

Hunt her.

Stop wasting your money on lessons (for the moment) - the horse just needs a nagsman.....
 
Just sometimes a horse and owner/handler/rider don't click for whatever reason. It's an expensive hobby to not be enjoying things. Personally I'd either get some outside professional help in to see if it puts you both back on track together or find her a new home. And get yourself a horse you can have some fun with.
 
Two years is a long time to try and sort her out, it doesn't sound like you are going to get on.

Just think of all the good times you could be having with a horse that you could just go out and have fun on, and it costs as much (money & time) to keep a bad one as it does a good one :rolleyes:

The only problem is finding someone who will take her on, good luck.
 
I think you have answered your own question! Much as it may be hard to admit defeat, I think you now need to move on and find a more suitable home for your horse. Can you afford to send her to a trainer on sales livery? Then hopefully, the horse will learn some manners on the ground and on board with a more experienced and confident rider, and make her more saleable. Do it sooner rather than later. Best of luck!
 
If you really feel you have done all you can then find her a home with someone who will put in the time and has more experience.

Be truthful when you sell he and find the right person for her.

You are meant to enjoy being around her.

Maybe you just arnt suited and it would be better for you both to part company.
 
What are you feeding her and how much turn out is she getting. To be honest I would leave her out as much as possible.
 
Do you know I always wonder about trainers who take people's money and don't recognise improvement in two years. Surely the decent thing would be to advise the client of another route, either recommend another trainer that may specialise in the areas of problem of suggest the client moves the horse on.

Richard Maxwell - if you want to persevere with the horse get his books or get him out to give you training together in the basics. It sounds like a huge dose of respect is needed on her part.

Or if you don't feel able to help her then sell her and cut your losses.

I've had a horse who was difficult and its not easy.
 
Sounds like she is totally taking the p and (literally) walking all over you. You will need to change your manner of handling her and dealing with her or accept that this is how she will be. If I were you I would either get some help with dealing with her and knowing how and when to lay the law down (in the manner one would with a spoilt child), or sell on to someone who is aware that her education is rather delayed but who has the experience and time to bring her on. It doesn't mean she is a bad horse, any horse will be a product of its upbringing, and at the moment she has the space to set her own rules which will make her rude and bargy to be around and deal with.
 
I would say that you have over horsed yourself, and that she was never suitable for you as a first horse. If you are having lessons 3 x a week and are seeing no improvement then you need to sell her, or send her away for some serious reschooling.

Have you had any one else ride her? lead her, deal with her? what is she like with them?
 
If it helps, I bought what turned out to be a totally unsuitable mare for my first horse, many years ago. We had the very same problems you describe.

I persevered for just over 2 years, spent a fortune on lessons. In the end, I got a new, blunt, straight-talking RI, who suggested I sell her.

I did. She went on to a new home, they simply had more experience and none of the baggage I had with her. They 'sorted her out' in about 2 weeks.

I then found my beloved old mare, and have bought other horses since, over the years. To be honest, I never looked back.

You say you are scared of her, and don't enjoy her. I think you have answered your own question. You are not 'giving up' or 'admitting defeat', but in selling her would be making a sensible and informed decision, allowing you to move on to better things.

I do really feel for you, and wish you all the best, whatever you decide :(
 
I really do feel for you, my daughter has been there with her mare more than a few times and has shed bucketloads of tears of frustration, fear and sadness in the three years we've had her.

In her case she decided to keep the horse (for now but you can never take anything for granted) and they are actually having something approaching fun together. On the positive side my daughter has learned la lot and met some great people in her attempts to get on top of this horse, but my God has it been a hard slog and a massive learning curve to get to that point.

Horses are an expensive, potentially dangerous and time consuming passion, if you feel this isn't the right one for you then I wouldn't blame you for wanting to sell.
 
4 year old monster
Don't forget - she is only 6 now.

the first 6 months were awful but she started improving so I stuck with her, she always had a cheeky side to her & always messed around when ridden etc..after that we have had a year of 'okay', its the past few months that have made me think twice; so you have proved she can be good and have enjoyed her in the past.

Now i can longer bring her in from the field without help (in her bridle)
when she is stabled, as soon as you walk up to the door she starts getting excited, ramming into the door. Open the door & she'll squash you agisnt her stall chain & wont move untill its broken and shes escaped. Use a chifney until she learns some manners and carry a short cane to use on her chest to make her respect your space (keep the cane low - you don't want to amke her head shy).

Other liveries now dont want to put there horse on the yard when she's tied up. ditto - don't tie her in the yard until she learns to behave.

When i ride her she takes the pi*s, she get all hot & sweaty before we even start trotting, then she trots on the spot, rears, canters off. I've had 3 lessons a week for the past few months bt she isnt improving, had the vet & saddle man out & dentist - no problems there change your trainer!!! and ask for a refund :p Ask and look around; who else on your yard has a trainer, are they progressing, what professionals live locally to you, will they offer livery and training to get you and your horse back on track?

anyway now i don't enjoy being around her - im scared of her.

I now have to make the descion if or not to sell her, she may improve like last time ot she may not,

what would you do ?

It will take more time, which you have to decide if you have to give, or call it a day. Whatever you do, don't forget that you have your horse for enjoyment and fun and if this is not happening now, change what you are doing. You have some choices that forum members have offered and I am sure your friends and yard companions are offering advice as well. Write down a list of pros and cons [for keeping/getting rid] of your horse and then decide. Good luck! :)
 
It doesn’t sound as if she's the right horse for you. There is nothing wrong in that. If it was me I would sell as she is certainly sellable to the right home. If I could afford it i would but her on schooling/sales livery and go from there.
 
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