Off to see a new horse - mixed feelings

Just rad your whole thread. My old horse was a gelding who was a bit 'Kevin the teenager' at times. Lovely but a bit 'doh'!! I had to sell him for financial reasons which broke my heart at the time and he has had a wonderful 9 years in a fabulous home.

I've had my mare for just over a year. She is a 'kind soul' and is a Connemara who will be with us forever. I thought I wanted a gelding but this mare is simply wonderful. They are just different but that's no bad thing.

I went to visit my old boy at the weekend... The first time since having Lottie... I realised then that I now feel I know her well and although I was upset to leave my old boy, he is happy and healthy and my mare us now 'my' pony!!!

I know it's different from loosing a horse but it took about 10 viewings to find Lottie. I knew when her head came over the stable door - the old cliche!!

Have fun on Thursday and good luck!!!
 
Don't worry about the mare/gelding thing, if you like the horse the gender doesn't matter. FWIW we have three mares, i wouldn't say i was a mare person but the horses were right so it didn't matter they really different
 
Good luck Cobbytype for Thursday. I lost my boy unexpectedly last year and started looking straight away, made arrangements to see a potential new horse and then the day before had a complete breakdown about it and cancelled. Gave myself a few months and have started looking again. Had my first one to go and see on Monday, nice horse but didn't click but learnt a lot and know i can trust my gut instinct. I will know when its the right one and that i am now ready to find a new one.

Just trust yourself to know.
 
Oh it's awful isn't it SplashofSoy. I'm looking at a mare because I want to go with an open mind and I'm trying not to be too pick horses that look too similar to my boy. I feel really flat about it all because it's just a reminder that he's not coming back and there's a huge big gaping hole that needs filling.

And thank you to those who have reassured me that not all mare's are mareish.
 
I lost my gelding last year after 8 years together. I rushed into buying another horse and it was a mistake. Nothing wrong with the horse I bought but I just didn't gel with her. However after rehoming the mare I now have another wonderful horse who I just clicked with. I'm very fortunate to have another amazing horse to love just as much as my old boy. Good luck with your search 😊
 
its so interesting to read your posts cobbytype.
My horse is in his twenties, and has surprised us all this winter with his health and condition, but evan so i still expect to loose him at every slightest hint of problems. I expect to be buying one more horse in my lifetime.
I have the same worries as you...especially since it took so long to bond with my horse...there again im a horse tart and have bonded with every one of his field mates!
I really do wish you the best of luck on Thursday, please let us know how you get on!
 
ladydoone said:
I lost my gelding last year after 8 years together. I rushed into buying another horse and it was a mistake. Nothing wrong with the horse I bought but I just didn't gel with her. However after rehoming the mare I now have another wonderful horse who I just clicked with. I'm very fortunate to have another amazing horse to love just as much as my old boy. Good luck with your search ��
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Thank you:-)
 
I am so very sorry for the loss of your much loved horse. I myself was in this position last year. I lost my 'Mr Perfect' One Saturday morning with a suspected brain tumor. He had been fine and in full work until that fateful morning. I have another horse who for various reasons cannot be ridden so she is a 16hh field ornament. There are other ponies here so i vowed not to have another, I was truly heartbroken... 6 months on and I have just brought a 4yr old. I cried on the way to collect him, I cried when he walked off the ramp and I cried for the fist week when the little sod trashed his new stable and field fencing (that is a whole other story!!) however my point is I felt as though I was betraying my boy. He was my world and was never to be sold, I thought we were to have many happy years together, never thought I would lose him at 12. I love my new horse and no longer regret buying him. It is a new love... he will never replace my old horse or come close but with luck we will begin to have some fun and make new memories. I hope you are able to find some happiness with a new horse however hard it may seem now you will get there.
 
We never can 'replace' our horses, ime. I have lost horses before their time, as well as those tht have come to the end of long, happy, healthy lives with us. We never sell horses on, so are prepared from Day 1 that we will eventually have to deal with pts.
Every horse is different, our 1st horse was a gelding but since him we have had mares, just because we don't want mixed herds grazing together. All our horses have had wonderful personalities, admittedly several of the mares have been very opinionated but so could the gelding be.
My Draft mare was advertised for sale but when I rang about her, she had been sold. However about 7 months later she was advertised again by her new owners who didn't get along with her. Sometimes these things are just meant to be - we think she is fabulous!
I'm sure you will have fun making a new relationship with your next horse, wherever you find him/her.
 
Lakota_Lizzie said:
I am so very sorry for the loss of your much loved horse. I myself was in this position last year. I lost my 'Mr Perfect' One Saturday morning with a suspected brain tumor. He had been fine and in full work until that fateful morning. I have another horse who for various reasons cannot be ridden so she is a 16hh field ornament. There are other ponies here so i vowed not to have another, I was truly heartbroken... 6 months on and I have just brought a 4yr old. I cried on the way to collect him, I cried when he walked off the ramp and I cried for the fist week when the little sod trashed his new stable and field fencing (that is a whole other story!!) however my point is I felt as though I was betraying my boy. He was my world and was never to be sold, I thought we were to have many happy years together, never thought I would lose him at 12. I love my new horse and no longer regret buying him. It is a new love... he will never replace my old horse or come close but with luck we will begin to have some fun and make new memories. I hope you are able to find some happiness with a new horse however hard it may seem now you will get there.
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Oh thank you LL. Yes, the betrayal thoughts have crossed my mind too, but I'd hate to think of him being unhappy, so I guess it's okay for me to pick up the pieces somewhere along the line.

I hope your 4yo brings you joy, happiness and lots of fun in the years ahead:-)
 
Pearlsasinger said:
We never can 'replace' our horses, ime. I have lost horses before their time, as well as those tht have come to the end of long, happy, healthy lives with us. We never sell horses on, so are prepared from Day 1 that we will eventually have to deal with pts.
Every horse is different, our 1st horse was a gelding but since him we have had mares, just because we don't want mixed herds grazing together. All our horses have had wonderful personalities, admittedly several of the mares have been very opinionated but so could the gelding be.
My Draft mare was advertised for sale but when I rang about her, she had been sold. However about 7 months later she was advertised again by her new owners who didn't get along with her. Sometimes these things are just meant to be - we think she is fabulous!
I'm sure you will have fun making a new relationship with your next horse, wherever you find him/her.
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I've a feeling that something will click into place somewhere along the way and I'll find what I'm looking for. I'm not sure what I'm looking for tbh; it's 18+ years since I last bought a horse and my requirements are different to back then. We'll see?
 
I know I seem to say this a lot, but have you thought about going to a good dealer? If they don't have anything in when you go and look then they may keep an eye out for you and take some of the hassle out of searching?
 
Just wanted to wish you well. Been there myself. After touring the country to see buckers, rearers, nappers, (never done that before!!) older, younger smaller. Went to a local sale bought myself a newly broken in 'cobby type' Bestest mare ever. Turn her hoof to anything and has about seven gears!!!! Including one for fearless three year old (on a leadrope) and myself rheumatoid 64yr old. Don't give up go for it!
 
Cobbytype said:
Oh thank you LL. Yes, the betrayal thoughts have crossed my mind too, but I'd hate to think of him being unhappy, so I guess it's okay for me to pick up the pieces somewhere along the line.

I hope your 4yo brings you joy, happiness and lots of fun in the years ahead:-)
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Oh it's horrible looking for another horse, I lost my 8 yo 'forever horse' at the end of this summer and I totally sympathise with you, I had my old retired mare and he was supposed to be my competition hirse but it want to be. I cried buckets for weeks, even before the poor hirse was pts I was bubbling for days! Didn't want another horse and my OH said no way was he living with me without one! But it's like you said, you feel guilty for looking, for giving something else attention.,,,I could hardly even beat to put my foot in the stirrup when I got my new mare home and I think it's because she wasn't him! We're slowly getting used to each other, I think we understand each other now but I stil find it hard and she is so different to my boy....you will get there, when you find the right horse you know. Good luck! X
 
Mince Pie said:
I know I seem to say this a lot, but have you thought about going to a good dealer? If they don't have anything in when you go and look then they may keep an eye out for you and take some of the hassle out of searching?
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The one I was meant to view today was with a dealer and another dealer is meant to be contacting me about a schoolmaster type which is going to be for sale in the next couple of weeks. I'd prefer to buy from a dealer in many ways, not least because the recent changes in legislation strengthen consumer rights when the seller is a 'trader'. But I've promised myself to keep an open mind. I'd prefer to buy something locally so that I can try the horse more than once before buying. I'm not after a world beater, just a safe hack and not too stuffy or too wide (my hips!). And good feet are essential as we're on clay land here - the twiddly legged horses don't stay sound on it.
 
asommerville said:
Oh it's horrible looking for another horse, I lost my 8 yo 'forever horse' at the end of this summer and I totally sympathise with you, I had my old retired mare and he was supposed to be my competition hirse but it want to be. I cried buckets for weeks, even before the poor hirse was pts I was bubbling for days! Didn't want another horse and my OH said no way was he living with me without one! But it's like you said, you feel guilty for looking, for giving something else attention.,,,I could hardly even beat to put my foot in the stirrup when I got my new mare home and I think it's because she wasn't him! We're slowly getting used to each other, I think we understand each other now but I stil find it hard and she is so different to my boy....you will get there, when you find the right horse you know. Good luck! X
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It's an odd feeling and not rational I know, but it's like the next move is really saying goodbye, rather than I'll see you tomorrow. I do feel that I'm 'cheating' on my boy, but I'd hate to think he would be somewhere feeling sad because I'm not there, so I think I owe it to myself and him to move on a little.

All the best with your new mare and in forging a lovely partnership:-) I'm sure time will assist you on that count.
 
I truly hate horse shopping. I got a new horse 3 months ago after having to retire my wonderful or old welsh Mare (in my sig)
New mare is even sweeter and gentler, and EVEN MORE BROKEN �� she was diagnosed with very bad KS last week and will have to be pts in the next few weeks as there is nothing can be done, she is even uncomfortable in the field.
horses are my life so I have to have another one asap. But I am finding it very difficult to look for another one. So this time I've asked a local riding school owner to find me one
 
soulfull said:
I truly hate horse shopping. I got a new horse 3 months ago after having to retire my wonderful or old welsh Mare (in my sig)
New mare is even sweeter and gentler, and EVEN MORE BROKEN �� she was diagnosed with very bad KS last week and will have to be pts in the next few weeks as there is nothing can be done, she is even uncomfortable in the field.
horses are my life so I have to have another one asap. But I am finding it very difficult to look for another one. So this time I've asked a local riding school owner to find me one
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Oh how unfortunate and tragic for you that is. That is the thing about horses isn't it - they do seem to have more than their fair share of health problems? For such powerful creatures, they are incredibly fragile in many ways and prone to all sorts of problems. Take comfort in the fact that the suffering stops with you - some people would have sold her on to an unsuspecting buyer and the poor mare may have been passed from pillar to post.

Good that you are making the move towards another now. It's not really any easier for me now, even though it is 18 months since I lost my boy. I should have bought one last year, but lost my oomph when the first and only one I looked at was hopping lame.

Hope you find another little star who is healthy and robust and brings you contentment and joy.
 
Fingers crossed I may have found myself a nice little horse. Waiting to hear if my offer has been accepted, and if so he'll be coming to me for a month's trial towards the end of this month.

A few grins and a few tears last night and a feeling of disbelief this morning. I slept better last night than I have for 20 months, so hopefully it's a step in the right direction.
 
ozpoz said:
Fingers crossed, Cobbytype - and how exciting!
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Thanks Ozpoz. Yes it is exciting. I spent a good hour looking at head collars and lead ropes online last night, but I don't want to jinx things so haven't bought anything yet.
 
oooh i really hope everything goes well for you... im still looking and my old horse is retired but still with me and im struggling with all the new horse issues. please keep us posted. x
 
debsflo said:
oooh i really hope everything goes well for you... im still looking and my old horse is retired but still with me and im struggling with all the new horse issues. please keep us posted. x
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Thanks debsflo.

I'd wondered if you'd found anything yet. I have the names of 3 dealers who have been recommended to me if you want me to PM you. One has a high turnover of quality horses, no pressure to buy as such and you can spend a weekend trying several until you find one that fits. The other two dealers have fewer horses but the service is more personal and the horses are perhaps better suited to those of us who want the safe, fun type of horse. One of those dealers was recommended to me from the people I'm hopefully buying from and they've had a few horses from her with each being as described.

I've found the whole horse shopping thing depressing too.
 
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