OH complaining about horse?? advice

Get him involved and train him up. Give him a hammer and let him repair things for you and applaud loudly when he does.....

Persuade him to buy a horse (for himself)...then look after it for him- that way you are doing him a favour and he cannot possibly moan about how much time you sepnd with the horse......worked for me;):D

The girl at work I take it has more than one horse? So they keep each other company? Totally different kettle of fish. My 3 are at home so I can do them when I like and they don't stress because they are together....I'm sure everything will be easier for you when you've moved to your bro's and got a companion.

Have another glug:D
 
CuriousYellow said:
Get him involved and train him up. Give him a hammer and let him repair things for you and applaud loudly when he does.....
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This!

Or, getting him an all consuming hobby of his own. Mine rows and spends more time at the gym/on the water than I ever could at the yard!

He is pretty understanding though and tries his hardest. But then I had horses before I had him so he knew what he was getting in to!
 
I would it put it down to you both being stressed as it doesn't sound like a normal nag. Try to have a discussion when you are both feeling calm and (politely) point out that his work colleague really isn't in a position to comment, I would have thought he would actually have been a little more mindful of your concerns having lost your other horse previously.

On the leaving out, just thinking laterally - if the lady with her ponies won't get yours in - what if you ask if you can bring hers in with yours - its only temporary isn't it and would take the pressure of you. She can't be doing much with hers now that it is dark so early!
 
I wouldn't want to stay at a yard that left a horse out on it's own. However as you're moving, I'm sure its just a tempoary thing.

My non-horsey OH said to his best friend, also a horse widower, the other day:

No Horse = grumpy woman = no surfing = grumpy man!

His friend has things a lot worse by the sounds of it. We have a deal - I have my horse, and he is allowed to go surfing whenever he likes. He did try to get into horses even taking lessons and riding my old mare, but he hates my gelding.
 
all horses are different and while some will quite happily stay on their own for a while, others wont
my yard has a no horse left out alone policy .

i used to stress out terribly if i couldnt get to the yard by a certain time
my gelding totally loses the plot if he is left alone/ or see's his friends coming in without him, to the point he will try to push the fences down and regulary<sp?> comes in with cuts over his chest from fence walking :( , he's a danger to others as well as himself
luckily we have fantastic services ladies who go out of their way to get my boy in before he flips, and i now have a relatively calm injury free horse.

hopefully you will get the field in the new year and problem solved

xx
 
Not much help here really, except echoing what others have said about finding someone to get horse in for you. 5.30 is still very early for all the horses to be in, are you the only one that actually works or something?!

As it happns, when my OH started making continuous comments about time and my horses, I had to let him go!
 
These replies worry me. I only part loan a horse and my OH of 4 years begrudges me spending 3 evenings a week with him (2 of which he usually works away) and the fairly reasonable loan money... we have lots of arguments about it, but i am hoping that he will come around. He says i shouldn't even think about getting my own until i am at least 30 and is unwilling to make even the smallest monetary allowance for horses.

Where are all the nice horsey men hiding?
 
jesstickle said:
Mine rows and spends more time at the gym/on the water than I ever could at the yard!
Check out the really lucky one on here!!! ;-)

I would definitely try the "helpful" route! Not all the time, but if they feel they are a tad involved AND helping you, often I reckon they are happier with the situation, and perhaps not so threatened by it! Its all a juggling act but you both have to be understanding overall! Good luck! And with the horse issue too!
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Have come to the conclusion that unless your OH is horsey or a really exceptional person, they will never, ever understand the female horsey passion. OH constantly goes on about the money, my time, the smell and the fact that I love my horses! I even considered selling my boy because of all this hassle, plus work is pretty full on. Had a long chat with business partner (oddly enough an unhorsey male), who told me that whenever I chatted about my horse my eyes lit up and that I shouldnt even consider it because I would be a grumpy cow! For a man that was pretty untuitive.

Anyway, in my life my priorities are:

1st and in no particular order, horses, family, daughter, business.

2nd - OH.
 
My totally non-horsey hubby had to be thrown in at the deep end, my house is on the stud I work on and my horse kept next door. I'd been here years before he met me, so he can never complain about them. They provide a roof over his head, so he knows that they come first, even if it's the middle of the night ;) He never complains :D
 
It sounds like the problem is you worrying about your horse and getting stressed - not surprisingly. Its bound to rub off on your OH and if he's anything like my non-horsey OH he won't understand why its such a problem for you.

If the other woman won't bring your horse in, is there no-one else who would? Maybe someone locally you could pay to do it? If not, can you find somewhere more suitable until you can move to your brother's place?
 
I may be completly out of order here and apologies if I am, although my OH is a farmer he is non horsey but has always known and understood that without horses I am not really happy and as he loves me, (we have been together 15 years and are getting married next June), he knows that I NEED to have a horse, it keeps me sane and most importantly helps me stay the same person he meet 16 years ago, if the OH's can't understand that then maybe they don't know or understand you as well as thet should? Sorry if that's harsh but i've had 2 glasses of wine
 
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