oh dear....advice needed on terrible jumping experience

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Jericho

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Please can someone give me some honest advice? I bought a lovely mare a couple of months ago. 15.2hh 12 years lovely nature just to hack out and do local riding club level sj,xc and dressage. I had her on a 2 week trial and had lessons and popped a few fences when I tried her, - logs, ditch, coloured poles nothing too high probably 2ft 3 but I hadnt really jumped for over 10 years so felt comfortable with that. The owner showed me piccies of her jumping some decent sized jumps and she jumped her as well and she was sold as an allrounder. Now, heres the problem - I thought Iwould hack over to a local EC who were having an open clear round XC today and she was truly awful and wouldnt jump a thing, and there was nothing scary just telegraph poles, logs all about 2ft - in the end she was just charging at the fences and slamming on brakes at one point I thought we were both going to head over heels over a 2ft log because she just planted her fron feet. She wouldnt even follow a lead. I am absolutely devestated because otherwise she has been lovely but I really wanted something that would jump and thought she could.
Dont really have any facilities at home other than a field and 1 jump to practise with and we have practiced lots with that and she has been fine. Unfortunately 1) I can only ride once or twice a week and 2) have really lost my nerve now and 3) dont have the facilities to have a decent lesson or travel to a yard often.

So do you think I should just cut my losses and sell her (she does a lovely dressage test which I suppose I could just concentrate on but will feel short changed) and get a real school master or do you think its a rectifiable problem? In my heart of hearts I think that once a refuser always a refuser. She isnt terribly bold, gets nervous fairly easy and because we have now had this I think the problem will get worse. I did come straight home and jump the jump at home and she even refused that (but because i was away from onlookers I made her jump it after 3 refusals - only 2ft again) but I just want to sell her as its shattered my dreams..... I have just got back into riding again after a break for 10 years for career and family and it was a really big thing for me. What would you do?
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So do you think I should just cut my losses and sell her

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No - absolutely not.

You need to establish why she was doing this. How were you riding her??
 
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So do you think I should just cut my losses and sell her

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No - absolutely not.

You need to establish why she was doing this. How were you riding her??

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ditto this , hang in there
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After getting her back, teeth and tack checked I think I'd probably want to a) get someone a bit braver than me to jump her and see how she went and b) get a good instructor to come and assess me riding her. I know it's all expense but a couple of months isn't long into your relationship and it would be a shame to sell if there was a solution as you seem very fond of her.

I'm not convinced about the once a refuser thing, I rode a horse once who initially would stop at everything, almost as a matter of course, time and building trust in eachother did the trick and eventually I bought him and he'd jump pretty much anything.
 
Poor you its horrible when this sort of thing happens ,but its early days dont be too hard on yourself or your mare .Try going back to basics trotting poles ,try lungeing over the fence to build her confidence .Also try building a couple more jumps at home incorperating colours .We all get bad days dont be to downhearted GOOD LUCK
 
Well, I was nervous and I probably was not helping the situation at the end because I was convinced i was going to come off. I thought it was me not being positive so really drove her at the fence (legs, voice) after the first few stops and then she was charging at them and putting nasty stops in. Even in a lively trot (and to be honest they were so tiny she could have easily popped them). I know that it was my riding but I did nt think she helped me at all and I really didnt want a project. She just didnt seem honest - and she didnt seem particularly scared or bothered just stopping - it was like she had forgotten how to jump!
 
I think you need to invest in some lessons, or have an experienced friend on the ground to help you.

Once they have stopped once, it is all too easy for you to anticipate that they might stop again, and to be giving bad vibes or even bad aids which make the problem worse.

Were you nervous when you started jumping this morning?

There is also the issue of the ground, was it slippery at all (it probably was) and you wouldn't have had studs in... when it is slippery, always only jump on an uphill slope.
If you were to sell her, you are likely to lose money, so invest a few quid in a few lessons, and see if you can make it work.

I think there would have been a number of factors at play here, and I certainly wouldn't give up yet. Take her hacking tomorrow, and ensure that you feel comfortable in walk/trot and canter, and then if you are feeling 100% decide what to do about getting some help. If you don't feel 100% out hacking, then perhaps you need more help with riding her before you try jumping again.

Also see if you can find a way to get a couple more jumps in your field to use, they do not have to cost much, even a couple of straw bales would do, if you can, because once they deteriorate they can be a mess.
 
my mare was doing BSJA when i got her, she was my move up from BSJAing ponies.

jumped lovely at home, got to my 1st show and she refused everything 1st time, she ended up falling at the 2nd part of the double & dislocated my shoulder
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went right back to the start with her, lots of lessons & started small with the jumping & we got there in the end.

i would get a lesson as well as getting back/tack/teeth checked & take it from there
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Jumping out of trot can be a bad idea when you are nervous, what I suspect was happening was that you had plenty of leg and voice going on until a stride or two out, when you then "protected" yourself against coming off, and that is when she stopped. It is much better to have a controlled canter coming into a fence.

also a good idea to work at home with a placing pole, so that you ride in canter to the placing pole, and she pops over the fence, therefore giving you a smooth jump, not cat leaping etc.

Definitely you need some help from the ground, I think.
 
i'd want to get to the bottom of why, as above, teeth, back check, and then i'd try a different saddle on her.
you really should go and jump something else as well, even if it's a lesson at a riding school.
can't you take her somewhere like that again, arrange to have an instructor there for the duration, and get to the bottom of it.
if she liked her jumping before, and was happily jumping bigger, then there's a reason for this. they can all have off days, as can we!
 
Sounds like nothing more than your nerves getting the better of you and transferring them to her. That coupled with over riding perhaps meant that she stopped.

If she weren't honest, she would never jump with you - and this sounds totally out of the ordinary.
 
Thank you everyone, maybe I am just being a wimp. I guess it is a confidence thing now. All the advice is very good, yes lessons should really be a definite and some straw bales in field and tyres and things are a good idea. And thank you for the encouragement Appylass about your refuser. She has had back, teeth, tack all checked. The ground was lovely, as no rain here for a week so all in all I thought it would be nice thing to do and cant see any other reason for it other than my c**p riding. The organisers were great and they let me canter round the course after without jumping the fences and we splashed through the water jump and jumped up a step and she was great. She is fine to hack out i.e. we do lots of cantering, transitions and I generally feel very confident with her. She is also lovely to school and was looking forward to some dressage with her. Just really disappointed - there were some lovely horses (and even some little children on 12 hh ponies) popping round beautifully all calm and sensible and I must have just looked awful. One of the reasons I liked her so much is that she is a real riders horse - she really listens and is loving and we are building such a close bond
 
So can anyone recommend a good freelance instructor who specialises in nervous jumpers in the Essex/Suffolk border area?
 
I would get some lessons and see if that helps, but I would also not plug away for too long with a horse I thought wasn't right - done it before, never again. The ones that don't do what you want are as expensive to keep as the ones that do, and infinitely more heartbreaking.

Set yourself a realistic deadline - say end of June. If she's not popping 2' jumps (which as you say she should be able to do from a walk) by then, I'm afraid I'd be looking to move on. In the meantime, keep going with the dressage and RC and get her out and about doing those and then if she doesn't come right with the jumping, she's got a dressage record to sell her with.
 
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I would get some lessons and see if that helps, but I would also not plug away for too long with a horse I thought wasn't right - done it before, never again. The ones that don't do what you want are as expensive to keep as the ones that do, and infinitely more heartbreaking.

Set yourself a realistic deadline - say end of June. If she's not popping 2' jumps (which as you say she should be able to do from a walk) by then, I'm afraid I'd be looking to move on. In the meantime, keep going with the dressage and RC and get her out and about doing those and then if she doesn't come right with the jumping, she's got a dressage record to sell her with.

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^^^^^^
wot she said...
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I think its just your nerves, if you can pop a couple in a non-stressy situation, like on a hack maybe that could help? doesn't need to be anything spectacular, only tiny, but if you could follow someone over that - it could help.

I'm not giving this strictly as advice, but I always find that I jump more confidently when I am still drunk/hungover from the night before. I think the relaxed effect of a hangover is good for me! I'm not advocating riding drunk here, just find something that will make you relax and not think about the fences. Sometimes the more you push, the less they go - if that makes any sense? had a couple of wines already......
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I feel really sorry for you, I hate to admit it but there is often a reason why somebody sells.. I definatley think you should get back in touch with the person you bought from, if they are un-happy to help, you almost have your answer! I wish you all the best.
 
I've pm'd you about instructor help, but now I see you are further away than I thought.

Have you joined the local riding club? You would probably make contacts there who could be a lot of help. If you are only able to ride once a week, perhaps you could find someone who could ride her for you a bit more, as she would probably benefit from more consistent work.

There is also Poplar Park, near you, which regular advertise tuition for riders who have lost their nerve.. try www.horsedates.co.uk

Good luck!

Don't give up yet.
 
TBH you admit you havent been in the horse scene for the past 10 years, so I assume not riding? In that case, you'll be very rusty! You admit you jumped her at the begining and she was fine. In that case, Id say she probably just got a bit freaked out. To not jump anything for 2 months and then take her somewhere strange to jump XC can blow some horses minds a bit.

Id put some work and effort in! I dont mean to sound nasty, but you cant expect a horse to do everything asked perfectly especially a new one without any effort put in by the rider.
 
Yes I did think I was perhaps asking a bit too much of myself and her but pushed it to the back of my mind. I did however think that as she could jump and we had been doing some jump work at home and that it was 2ft high it wouldnt have been too stressful. I would have been hopeful that a horse that was meant to jump could have popped a few despite rider error (and I dont think I am that terrible rider as did lots of competing to BSJA entry level in younger days as well as Novice dressage) and she was working well in the warm up (listening, nicely in a light outline) after a few excited bucks. Not trying to say it wasnt my fault but was hopeful of a bit more and so disappointed that it went so badly wrong. Now am worrying that I have ruined her!
 
I suspect she was picking up on your nerves, rather than your riding actually being 'rubbish'. As everyone else has said, get an instructor and/or join the local RC and get along to their clinics.

A lot of horses will start stopping with a new owner initially. I had a little horse that did that with me at first and we got eliminated in several shows. But then I got an experienced friend to help me on the ground and come to shows with me - she was great because she boosted my confidence and also plied me with drink!

Once we got our confidence in each other, suddenly we were getting clear rounds consistently and then getting placed and winning. He turned out to be an incredible and honest jumper who took me round open RC courses without a problem.

So stick with it for now, get some help, and see where you go from there.
 
Sorry but this post has made me really annoyed!
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You have only had her for two months? I get fed up of seeing perfectly good horses (usually the owner's first horse) being sold on after two minutes purely because they have not been given a chance. The first sign of the horse not being "perfect" and they want to sell.

It takes time and hard work to get to know your horse. The reality of owning a horse is very different to the dream, you will have loads of ups & downs like this, you have to have the dedication to work through them which will build a strong relationship between you and the horse, and make you a better rider and horseperson.

If you sell this horse and buy another it is very likely that the new one will not be "perfect" in every way either, so will you then sell that one as well? You need to accept the responsibility that owning a horse brings (on many levels).

Have plenty of lessons with someone experienced before you consider selling. Please don't just give up at the first sign of trouble. Horse ownership is not a bed of roses.
 
Sounds to me like you need to establish a bond with this mare. Mares more than geldings need to trust you. Also it may be that being ridden once a week does not work for this horse - I couldn't ride mine that little and expect her to perform for me
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I really agree with dutch viscount and ice station zebra, its way too early to be giving up!! And you really need to ride more to establish a bond with your new horse - once she has confidence in you and is more used to your riding style, she will probably gain jumping confidence. I do think that mares can be particularly sensitive to different riders and often more reactive - her old owner, an experienced instructor and riding club training can all help her and you together. I think it takes 18 months at least to really be a team!! Good luck!!
 
when you are jumping her have you been getting left behind, or have you caught her in the mouth a few times at all? I would firstly establish that problem and then get someone else to ride her for you, (pro preferably) and access you both together, you need some decent lessons i should think as everyone needs training first. If the problem is lying with you then the same thing will happen with the next horse you buy, so you really need to improve yourself first.
 
Poor you!! You mustn't give up, agree with other posts that mares can be more sensitive to your moods then geldings. This will work so well for you when you have establised a true bond, but at the mo it sounds altho' she's picked up on your nerves. I really think it is vital that you find an instructor who you trust and that you make time to have regular lessons. Good luck!
 
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